"It hurts Kookie... Everything here... It hurts more than it should. A place where my eyes can't find you feels like heaven without tiger lilies. And it's not even a place where I belong. I want to be with you, Kookie... Where are you?"
Without even knowing, tears streamed down from his eyes, touching his flawless face. Each drop felt like dripping on an open wound and it stings his cracked heart. This is not just today, this is not because of just some words he heard. This love towards the man he calls Kookie started from the very first day when his eyes met the other in the library.
Taehyung hates to go there, but it was Namjoon who dragged him there saying they have some council work. The younger one was complaining all the way long, how Namjoon is gonna spoil his evening by making him do something he doesn't love, doesn't really care. The president managed to convince a stubborn Taehyung. Nevertheless, the complaints stopped the moment when Taehyung found someone sketching something while sitting on the last row of the library where the old books stacked up.
He peeked at the page but the painting was an incomplete one and he couldn't understand the art piece at that time. But one thing caught his eyes and that was the eyes. Even though the look was sharp and concentrated on the page, Taehyung spent a little longer reading those orbs, thinking that he could finally get a glimpse of what he was searching for all those times. From there, the doe-eyes caught him hanging, made him spend most of his day in the library, and pretended to have an art project about old dusty books. No one judged him. The taste of Kim Taehyung has always mesmerized the world- unique, pure, and pretty.
It took Taehyung one and a half days to finish the art of organizing the old dingy shacks of the library just to convince Namjoon to retrieve the details about his just infatuation guy, the president agreed to his friend, of course, after completing the terms and conditions.
Taehyung knows that the one he's in love with may not know him, but that's not what pains him the most. Even he doesn't know why he was crying. Isn't it fine, since his Kookie doesn't know him and his love, what's so big deal about it? Taehyung has all the freedom to love the other in the way he wants. Then? That's where it all hurts. That's where he feels he's a void that will never be filled with love. Taehyung sees himself begging to be loved and cherished in the future by someone who will never understand him, who will never be Jeon Jungkook.
As he stood there, struggling to portray the city in front of him with the blurred vision, the train of thoughts became more frustrating to his previous truce. His hands automatically went to hold his chest where his tired heart lies, beating in search of a reason and he could feel his pulse through the veins on his fingertips. Life when there's no reason to hold on feels catastrophic. It doesn't end up everything, but let you strive until you find a way out. Some fall, some fail, some give up, some- the last some like Taehyung takes a deep breath and wipes their tears without letting anyone know and wears the most beautiful smile, masquerading the agony. Because for them, life goes on even if they are stuck or surviving. Time goes, with or without them.
"You will find your peace soon, soulmate..."
Taehyung heard the small voice whispering in his ears, and the comforting hold of his best friend caging him from behind. It took him merely a second to relax under the touch of Jimin, and let the last drop of his tears fall. He's thankful that Jimin knows everything. He really didn't have to explain to his best friend why his eyes were swollen and his heart was sore. Taehyung placed his hand on Jimin's, taking several deep breaths and biting hard on his lips so he could control his emotions and reply to his friend.
"I need love, Jiminie... And everything will follow..."
Jimin pauses, forgetting that he's there to console his best friend not to break down along with him. He hates to see the way Taehyung stiffens after saying that because they both know each other's longings. Without wasting a second, Jimin tightened the hold around Taehyung, even after having the height difference, he believed that Taehyung could feel the tenderness of that gesture.
"You will, bun. You're THE Kim Taehyung. You'll have everything you wished to own. Patience, my sweetheart."
Jimin doesn't care if he sounded gay enough for his best friend to tease him later, but the truth is truth and that's for another time. As soon as he found a small smile creeping up to Taehyung's lips to bread cheeks, Jimin was ready to bring a rainbow from the sky. Now, that sounds gay. But the only thing that mattered to him was the happiness of his best friend.
"Don't stop, Park Jimin. Go on. Praise me more..."
Taehyung says in a cheerful tone, earning a push from Jimin and loud yelling that
"This- this is why I never say things like this to you, bi*ch. You're never gonna ha---"
The elder couldn't complete his words because Taehyung covered his mouth. Jimin's muffled words filled in the air along with Taehyung's happy giggles. He prays inside that whatever Jimin wished for him, all the good and happiness, to be true and fulfilled. Spending a little more time on the rooftop, the best friends decided to go back to their respective classes in the hope that no lecturers are gonna sue them because of ditching almost every class of the day.
The veranda afternoon wasn't like the energetic morning. It didn't give the vibes of a brand new starting but dissipated the mood of a gloomy and lazy evening to come. The portico was almost empty and students were in the classes when Taehyung bid bye to Jimin for his dance class and walked to his new escape spot. The library. He walks past the eyes that were on him, some admiring while some envious of the glow he has even after the hectic day. Taehyung doesn't even spare a glance to those who don't behave nicely with him. No, he doesn't treat everyone equally. He treats people in the way they deserve.
The sweet scent of newly stacked books and the intoxicating essence of old book bundles filled in his nostrils, making him think about the contrast of time. Why did no one erase the last piece of the past from the old stack of libraries? Why did the fonts of the present change so much from the past that it confuses you if you're not in touch with them for so long? Time is indeed something. And it will never be enough to explain how all these provoking Taehyung to feel something. The missing.
One time in the past, he would be standing next to the old shack of Harry Potter and dig his head inside the books just to make someone sitting opposite to him believe that he's not really stalking him and writing down all his moves. Taehyung doesn't care if he looked like a creep because when it was Jeon Jungkook sitting in front of him, all he wanted was the other to just spare a glance and definitely not fall in love with him because of his charms and beauty. Not at all.
That may sound fake but who cares.
Jungkook never looked up from the book he always used to have in front of him, neither did Taehyung make a move to chop the iceberg between them. He told himself that he will wait until Jungkook will find him until they meet in a way where it all feels like a fairytale. Oh, Taehyung is a sucker for that. As you say, the wind blows with ruffling whispers of the leaves, cherry blossom falling to the concrete paths while his slow and hesitant steps lead to the long runway in front of him, but then a sudden gush of something that makes him turn, his hair dancing along with the wind and eyes searching for the one in the crowd. And when their eyes meet and heart connects, Taehyung could feel the red string of ---
"Earth to Kim Taehyung!"
Yeah, fate. Is. A. Sucker. For. Plot twists.
Taehyung cursed under his breath, the pencil in his hand almost dropped and he didn't waste a moment to close the book. A sudden awareness of his surroundings hit him hard, breaking his beautiful delusions. Only if the reality is as easy as the daydreams. Taehyung looked up at the man standing in front of him, amassing his marbles back from the fantasy. The black-haired male expected Namjoon to show up since he missed the council meeting again because he had to reminisce about his nonexistent love story. But to his surprise, it wasn't the tall student council President.
Instead, someone Taehyung will easily recognize but didn't know personally. The blond male in front of him passed a skeptic look, puzzled by the way Taehyung reacted to him. He stood simply quiet, glancing at the tattoos covered with a bandage on Taehyung's arms before landing his eyes on the closed notebook. Suddenly the male looked like a sculpture to Taehyung. Messy blond hair strand falling on his eyes, round cheeks and rosy lips, eyes sharp and shoulders straight. Taehyung has never seen this guy smiling. But that's not the point here.
"Jung Hoseok told me to give you this."
The perfect pitched voice was something Taehyung always wondered to listen to closely. The blond placed an envelope in front of him, still keeping the neutral expression but the Taehyung didn't judge the guy. Even looking like that, the man pulled up a very handsome face in Taehyung's eyes. He scanned the envelope before averting his gaze to meet the man in front of him.
"He said you're the one who is in charge of the instrumental music for this year's art fest."
The man said and Taehyung sat straight, suddenly remembering his duties as a student council Secretary. He murmured in a polite yet stern way to the other.
"And if I'm?"
"Well, that's my piano sample. I would like you to hear it and tell me your suggestions."
Taehyung let out a small oh, dramatically hitting his head for no special reason or maybe because he just saved himself from being an embarrassment. He wanted to pass a smile, a genuine one to the man because no one would really understand how much Taehyung adores music until they sit with him and listen to him talk about the genres and artists. Taehyung has always been a fan of good music. And knowing that he get to hear the first copy of the man's piano work made him feel special. So, just like that, Taehyung passed a small grin to the man, and read the name on the envelope.
"Min Yoongi."
Music major barely attends university and Jeon Jungkook's best friend. There you go. Taehyung feels a need to sit prettily and talk nice to the man, because why not. Yoongi is the only one Taehyung has seen with Jungkook most of the time. Even though the younger one does hang out with Namjoon and Hoseok, he has seen Jungkook a lot with Yoongi than anyone else in the uni. With the elder being interested in music, and for his luck, Taehyung is also working with the artfest works, the younger thinks it's the best opportunity to woo the best friend of his love of life. Only if Yoongi is gonna spare a glance at his excited smile and weird thoughts inside his brain. That's most likely an impossible thing.
"Oh, okay. I will let you know soon, hyung. Thank you for working hard..."
Taehyung really tries his best to not sound fake or robotic. When he couldn't get a satisfactory reaction from Yoongi, his lips curled and unknowingly transformed into a pout. He waits for Yoongi to reply with something. However, the blond male nodded, ready to leave, and turned on his heels, which made Taehyung skip a beat.
He wanted to ask a lot. Starting from the man's next destination to his new album he's working on. Taehyung really wanted to, but he stopped himself because something inside him made it so. The look of Yoongi wasn't any intimidating, yet he felt a soft line drawing between them that he's forbidden to cross. As soon as Yoongi was about to cross the door of the library, a face flashed on Taehyung's head. The doe eyes, the bunny lips, the puff cheeks, the well-knitted eyebrows- and Taehyung ran. Holding the notebook in his hands, he ran the marathon of his life only to reach out to the blond male. He doesn't care if there are eyes on him, too perplexed to see Taehyung running like an insane guy through their library. Of course, who will not be shocked? It's Kim Taehyung, the embodiment of elegance and definition of beauty. How can he just forget the surroundings like this? most importantly, why?
Because he felt again. Not because of the friendship Jungkook has with Yoongi. But there was that gut feeling that always used to be right, every damn time, telling him that he can trust Yoongi. Just like Jimin, even if Yoongi couldn't be his soulmate, at least they can catch up with a good conversation over the music they both love. Taehyung desired a friendship with the blond male so badly that he couldn't wait any longer. Making the man shocked as hell, Taehyung grabbed Yoongi's hands in the middle of the veranda, definitely not in a k-drama style.
Yoongi, on the other hand, raised an eyebrow at the action, tried to retract his hand but still let the pinky finger of Taehyung curl around his thumb.
That's when he reckoned about that small gesture. Even the looks don't tell what he truly is, at that moment Taehyung felt delicate to him. He waited for the other to speak up but when nothing came, the elder decided to break the silence. He gazed at the notebook in Taehyung's hands, and let out a sigh. Then whispered only for Taehyung to hear, clearly not wanting the other students around them to hear a word of his.
"Taehyung neither did I know where Jungkook lives nor can I give you his phone number. So, I don't think there's any help I can do for you."
Yoongi said, not wanting to hurt whatever things Taehyung has in his heart. He doesn't care about feelings, but he doesn't want to be the reason for someone's despair. Especially when he has seen Kim Taehyung a thousand times, smiling from the heart while glancing at Jungkook and doodling on his notebook. He has seen Taehyung being all pretty just by sitting near the window of their library and staring outside at the permanent university buildings, with an open notebook in front of him. He had seen Taehyung being a fascinating scenery when the younger plays the piano in the music room in an absolute truce without caring about the world. Yoongi admired that portrait of Taehyung which he was sure most of the students of their university hadn't seen yet. And he was also sure that Taehyung will never gonna show them his introverted beauty. Yoongi wanted to move away, but then again, he didn't want to let go of Taehyung's petite finger.
"Maybe you can help by... Grabbing a cup of coffee with me...?!"
Then yoongi fails to keep his cold demeanor because he was sure other than the short guy who clings on Taehyung always, there would be no one seen the puppy eyes of Taehyung, wide and beautiful than usual. He knows Taehyung will never do something like that in front of a common crowd. So, does that mean Yoongi is special for the younger?
The said younger continues gazing at Yoongi, impatient to hear an answer from the man. Finally, when Yoongi breaks into a small smile, Taehyung feels his breath just coming back. His pouty red lips changed to a small blush, and Yoongi noticed how Taehyung didn't let go of his hand, and how he linked their fingers. It felt weird at first since no one did that with him, not even Jungkook. But then he relaxed very soon, feeling kind of protected in that hold. The elder doesn't feel the need to loosen the hold and run away, instead, he feels the warmth radiating by that mere touch.
As they walked to the cafeteria, they both ignored the eyes piercing at them, too puzzled to understand the new friend walking next to Taehyung, smiling and talking. The both seemed to be enjoying the moment. And the university felt envious of them. Oh, they always do. Kim Taehyung just breathes and the world would start a campaign of '50 reasons to be envious of Taehyung' which by the way, Taehyung knows really well.
But he doesn't even care. Nothing fascinating for him. Other than discovering new jazz music and keeping his beloved obsessions all to himself. No barking outside can have Taehyung's attention and precious time.
Sitting next to the window, Taehyung ordered cookies and cream flavored ice cream and Yoongi went with Mint choco chip. The evening was setting slowly as the busy lectures came to an end. Looking out of the window, Taehyung spots the campus neat and clean with students here and there, but it spreads out an exotic ceasefire, unlike the other days. Maybe it's because of what he was feeling inside- pretty and content.
"Okay, I'm leaving, Taehyung..."
Yoongi said after their little pause between them, which made Taehyung take his eyes back from the bushes neatly cut in the shape of waves and look at the man. He smiled, nodding like an obedient kid.
"Yeah... See you next time, hyung..."
Taehyung whispered, a genuine smile on his lips and the same reciprocated on Yoongi's lips too. He felt the day worthy to be remembered. Standing up from the seat, Taehyung marvels. Jimin is gonna shove all the dumplings of the world into his mouth today. Because there's no way Taehyung is gonna stop talking about this. Yoongi patted his shoulder as if bringing Taehyung back to reality. The younger hides the embarrassed blush of being zoned out, passing a sheepish grin.
"Take care, kid."
Taehyung can feel the rosy glint of his cheeks reddening, but he couldn't take his eyes off the figure of Yoongi walking away from him. Letting out a small sigh, Taehyung settled on the seat, wandering eyes stopping on the same green scenery before his brain got lost somewhere near the constellation of mars. Random thoughts started spiraling in his head, only if he could control them. He leaned on the desk, placing his arms on it, and securing his head on them while turning to look out of the window.
"I don't know if you'll find me or not. But as time flies by, my love for you will never change. I will be here, at the end of the day, and beginning of the night, dreaming about you.
Even if we don't have memories we created to recall, I miss you, my beloved Jungkook."
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
Min Yoongi
Music major.
Jeon Jungkook's friend.
Quiet and understanding.
°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•
What do you think about Kim Taehyung from the present, deeply madly in love with Jeon Jungkook?
Share your thoughts... Your comments make me happy...
See you next time...
~AnecdotesOfABroken