A/N
Just a reminder in case people didn't understand, the 'Merry Christmas! Bonus Chapter' is not related to this chapter whatsoever. But other than that, Enjoy!
"I don't wanna do.. It."
"Oh.. I can go slow-"
"Just please, no..! I just.. don't!"
"Just the tip..?" He said as if that's make a difference.
"Dude! What the Fuck, I said no."
"What the hell then? So your wasting my gas for nothing?" He said switching up his attitude real quick.
"Well I thought you were gonna take me to the party!"
"What ever, get the fuck out! You can walk home you little hoe." He said putting his shirt back on.
"Fine then, virgin.." I mumbled under my breath. I exited the car with my black jacket in my hand, "and I'm not the hoe!" I shouted as he drove off. He ignored me, took an illegal left turn and drove out of my view.
I stood there in the empty parking lot letting his words sink in, tears filled my eyes. How am I even gonna get home..?
I pulled put my phone and called the first person that came to mind.
"Thomas?" I said as I tried my best not to sniffle.
"Hey- wait, are you ok..? You uh, sound like you're crying."
I chuckled and forced a smile, "No! Uh, I just need a ride back home. Can you, or do you know someone who can give me a ride back home?"
"Are you sure you're ok?- where are you?"
"I'm fine, really. I'm next to GameStop."
"Oh, well I can go get you real quick but uh. Are you sure you're ok?"
"Yeah! I'm fine, but we can talk when you get here."
"Ok, be safe Rae. I'll see you right now."
"Ok."
I walked over to GameStop which was just a minute away, and sat there on a bench.
I sat there and cried, the tears fell into the palm of my hand and sank in.
"Why so I do these things to myself?" I mumbled as multiple tears streamed down my face.
I guess his words sank into my heart and made me extremely emotional.
"Raechel?.! What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Thomas said running towards me, he got on his knee and lifted up my chin checking if I was hurt.
"Is that a hickey?"
He gave me a hickey?!
"What? -N-No!" I said hiding myself.
"Raechel, did someone hurt you?" He said gazing into my eyes. His face was close to mine and I can see he was concerned as I looked into his eyes.
"Thomas, I made a mistake."
"What happened?"
"I'm not hurt, just stupid.."
"Don't say that, what did you do?" He said as he held my chin.
"There was a party I got invited too, um and I didn't have a ride. So, this boy said he'd come pick me up at the park so I met him there.. Y-You know what..! I-Its stupid, I'm stupid. Can we just go?"
"Rae, if you want me to help you, I need to know what happened to you. I promise I won't judge you.-"
"-We ended up making out! But he wanted more than that." My emotional self couldn't handle it, multiple feelings forced themselves towards me. Embarrassed, confused, stupidity, messy and so many more, I just couldn't take it. Tears started filling my eyes and I couldn't stop them, "and I stopped him because it just didn't feel right."
"Rae, you have to be careful!"
"I know, he called me a little hoe and told me to walk home."
He sighed and pulled me into a hug, "are you mad at me?"
"I could never be mad at you, I'm just glad you're ok."
I sniffled and hugged him back, "I'm sorry.."
"You don't need to be."
I felt guilty for dragging Thomas into something I should've handled myself. I felt so embarrassed for crying in front of Thomas.
Sometimes I feel like I didn't deserve him.
I put on my black jacket and followed Thomas's lead.
_
After Thomas started walking me home we talked about how we can both be more safe, though it was mainly for me.
I also told Thomas about the conversation I had with my mom before I went to the party, he told me that before I make a decision I'm not sure to make, to talk to him; even if it's a simple one.
_
Finally we arrived at my house.
"Thank you so much Thomas." I said as we walked up to my house. "You don't know how much I appreciate you!"
"No problem Rae, I'm always happy to help you. You know just call me and I'm I'll be there. I really do need to get a car though if I'm gonna be your personal chauffeur."
We shared a brief laugh, then I gave Thomas a hug. Due to our height, he hovered his head over mine, and hugged me back.
He gazed into my eyes after we pulled away. He put a strand of my hair and placed it behind my ears, his hands slid under my chin holding my head, then I swear he started leaning towards me; inistinctly I did the same thing.
"Oh! You guys are back!" We quickly separated and our eyes attracted to my mother who opened the front door.
"Yup..!" Thomas said cheerfully smiling.
"How was it? Was it fun?" My mom asked as possible suspicion rised.
"Yeah it was decent, we enjoyed it though."
"Well I'm glad! Thank you for taking care of Rae."
"Oh no problem, I love hanging out with her."
"You know, actually we're going to see her dad in the hospital tomorrow, I'm sure he'd love to meet you!".
"I'd love to meet him as well! I'll talk to my parents and see if I can go with you guys, when will you guys be leaving to the hospital?"
"Around 2 or 3, I'll just have Rae text you though."
"Ok, yeah! That sounds great. Um, I'll be sure to let you guys know if I can't go, but I'm sure my parents will let me."
"Ok, sounds great darling. Get home safely!" My mom said waving her hand
"I will, see you later Rae, goodnight!" He said walking away.
"Night dork." I said chuckling to myself as he walked away.
"I'm just gonna head to bed mom, I'm still a bit exhausted from school today."
"Alright honey, have a good night." She said kissing me on my forehead and brushing my hair back. I walked inside slightly feeling guilty for lying to my mom, but I knew I couldn't tell her what happened or else she would never let me forget it.
I walked to my room and plunged myself on the bed. I let out a loud groan, my back and feet ached from walking for so long. I laid there and thought of my friends, poor Thomas, I still don't forgive myself for dragging him into my messes all the time. I just find myself so annoying, and I get so paranoid that my friend would leave me.
I don't know what I would do if Thomas left me, I never really have got close to any one like Thomas and I have been my entire life. It's also that, when I'm with Thomas, he makes me feel some kind of way.. And even if I don't want to, I have to admit especially after today that I have some sort of feeling for Thomas. And if it isn't that, then I don't what is honestly; because I've never felt this way for someone. I've never been so close to someone in a friendship, and I've never been able to feel comfortable enough to open up to somebody about how I think and what I think about, but with Thomas I feel like everything is not a problem to talk about when I'm with him.
Him remaining in my mind keeps me up sometimes, but I don't care if I feel slightly tired in the morning, he can rent a space in my head for free, I just hate how I can look at him and get so flustered.
Just a glance from him to me makes me go crazy, sometimes I just wished my feelings would go away..! Don't get me wrong, I love Thomas as my friends, and possibly even more.. but in the end I am just wasting my feelings on someone who doesn't even like me back. I just hate how I can't have control over the way I feel. But like you've seen, there's no way for me to change the way I feel about Thomas.
_
The next morning I woke up in my bed as the rays of sunshine bursted through my curtains. Irritated, I turned to the opposite side of the bed and closed my eyes, then almost immediately heard my name being shouted from my mom.
"Yes?!" I shouted back, I waited for a response and heard nothing.
I groaned and pushed the sheets off myself. I put my slippers on and exited my room.
"Yes mom?" I said yawning as water filled my eyes.
"Oh, you're finally awake!"
"Well yeah, because someone interrupted my beauty sleep." I said as I hovered my body over the table and had my face planted into my crossed arms.
"Oh shut it! You're just dramatic, you got a lot of sleep."
"It's not if you get a lot of sleep," I said lifting up my head, "it's about if you feel energetic in the morning."
"Well you know you could be in a coma for 10 years, wake up, and still stay in bed all day! Lazy ass." My mother explained.
I sleepily glared at her and chuckled, "what time is it?"
"Noon."
"Noon?!" I said shooting up.
"Yup..!"
"I only have an hour and a half to get ready?!"
"Yes? Hurry up."
"Fuck!" I rushed to my room and grabbed towels for my shower on the way there.
"Watch your mouth young lady!" Ignoring my mothers words I grabbed a casual set of clothes out of my closet and continued cursing under my breath. Then suddenly a wave of panic washed over me. I dashed myself to the bathroom and twisted the tap and got the water running.
I ran my hands through the water and adjusted it making sure the water was at room temperature.
-
Rachel quickly got showered and had no time to waste. She only went to see her dad a few times a year, and maybe 2 times a month if she got lucky.
Her visiting schedule always had to do with the hospital standards as well. Also, Rae didn't have the gas money to pay her mother, because if Rae could see her father everyday, she would. But like mentioned just now, they couldn't afford gas if they're just constantly using it.
It's very heartbreaking for Raechel but at least she still gets to visit her living father.
_
After showering Raechel checked the time and realized she only had 40 minutes to get ready. This didn't really concern her until she realized that she still had to dry out her hair. Having thick hair this really seemed to trouble her, but she continued to put her clothes on, and put on her usual light face of make-up.
She quickly rushed back to the living room where he mother was.
-
"Ready?" My mother asked as she took a bite out of her breakfast.
"Just about.." I quickly gathered everything I need.
Here's my wallet, my ID, wait..
"Do you know where I left my phone?" I said panickingly turning to my mother.
"No, is it in your room still? I didn't see you come out with it earlier."
"I don't know.. how much more time to I have until we leave?" I said as I rushed to my room.
"About 20 minutes!" My mother shouted as she watched me speed walk to my room.
My heart that was beating fast slowed down as I heard those words.
I entered my room and moved around the clothes that were splattered all over my floor of my room.
I blitzed into the bathroom looking for my phone; retracing my steps I started to think.
The last place I saw it was on the bed.. or, did I?
My thoughts were everywhere, I just happened to be confusing myself. I stood in the bathroom frustrated myself as the image of time ticking seemed to come back to my mind so often.
Then I heard a faint call chime coming from my room. I was confused. Was it just my mind tricking me?
I exited the room out of curiosity and heard the ring get louder as I approached under the bed. Then I saw the blanket I threw when I got angry earlier, and, something glowing under it.
Then suddenly it all went black. I removed the blanket I saw my phone lying under it.
I quickly grabbed it, and unlocked it. I saw I had a missed call from Thomas.
I immediately called him back.
"Hello?"
"Hey Thomas. Um, need something?"
He awkwardly chuckled and started tripping over his words, "uh, w-weren't you gonna pick me up..?"
"Oh! Yeah, um. Are you ready yet?"
"Yeah. I've actually been ready for quite a while.." he said forcing a light laugh.
"Oh.." I said looking down at my shoes embarrassed, because everyone but me was ready.
"N-No rush though! Take your time. I just can't wait, that's all." He said giggling, "just text me when you're at my house."
"Ok, we should be leaving In a few minutes. But I'll let you know."
"Ok, thanks! See you later."
"See you.." I quickly hung up, and let out a tensed sigh. I let my body relax for a moment, and stuffed my phone in my pocket.
I walked back to my mom who was still in the living room waiting for my appearance.
"Are you finally ready?"
"Yes mom."
"Finally!" My mom said with relief.
I playfully rolled my eyes and giggled, "shut up." I said lightly hitting her in a playful way.
She giggled in return, and we entered the car.