Dream starts
*"No!" I cry as I crawl backwards. "Please!" I cry. I feel my back hit the wall and cry harder, I'm trapped.
"It is your fault that your mother is dead, if she never had complications with you, she wouldn't have died from having the next baby!" My fathers deep voice rumbles at me.
"But, I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to!" I say putting my hands in front of me, trying to stop him even though I know it will do nothing for me.
He doesn't listen, instead he pulls his belt out and whips my arm. I let out a cry of pain. But I know better than to cry too loud. That makes him more mad, so instead I bring my hand to my mouth and bite done, muffling my screams as he whips me again. As he pulls back again, I hear footsteps running down the stairs.
"Leave her alone. She didn't do anything!" Tobias yells at him and stands in front of me protectively.
"You stupid boy" Our father says and slaps him, making him stumble back a bit. He then grabs Tobias' ear and twists it. Tobias does cry or scream, he just makes a sour face and bits his tongue really hard like he has learned to do unlike me. I wish I could do that. Our father pulls him up the stairs, I hear the creaky door of our closet open and then Tobias' pleads
"No No, Please please No!" He cries now, but he doesn't listen; he pushes him inside and locks the creaky door. The heavy steps down the stairs tells me he isn't done with me yet.
He comes to me even angrier than before. "Turn around and dress off" He growls.
A cry escapes my lips but I don't argue with him. I turn and take my little grey dress off. I hold myself tightly. I know what to expect. I'm 6 years old, I'm not stupid. I've been dealing with this for the last 2 to 3 years. I hold myself tight with one arm, I bring my other hand to my mouth. And when I fell the harsh slice of my back I bit down on my head muffling the screams of pain.*
Dream ends
I gasp and shoot up in my bed, nearly smashing my head. My cheeks are stained with tears and I'm sweating. I run my hand through my hair over and over and bit the inside of my cheek, two of my nervous ticks. I look around and realize it is pitch black. My breath quickens. One of my biggest fears is the dark. It sounds so stupid and kidish and unoriginal. But unlike most people who say they are afraid of the dark, but are actually afraid of what is in the dark. I have the opposite. I'm afraid of the actual darkness, not being able to see anything. The feeling of being abandoned and left alone. The feeling of no control. I got the fear the same way my brother became claustrophobic. Because our father locked us in a tinny closet. I pull the covers off of me, I quickly get out of bed and feel around until I find the door. I pull it open and shut it as quietly as I can. I then quickly make my way down the hall. I have no clue where to go but I can't sleep anymore.
Eric POV.
"Max, have you heard anything?" I ask. He just shakes his head.
I sigh and clench my jaw. I turn without saying anything and start to leave when Max stops me.
"You know Eric. If I didn't know any better I would think you are starting to care about this girl."
I raise my eyebrows at him and scoff "hardly. But if she dies or becomes factionless then it is my fault" I say bluntly.
He shrugs "you never had a problem about kicking out initiates before or having blood on your hands" he says sitting back in his chair and folding his hands on his lap.
"They deserved it" I say. "And if Mer doesn't come back that means I made a mistake and I don't make mistakes" I add. He nods and with that I leave him.
I walk towards my apartment when I see four. "Four!" I yell at him. He turns and lifts his eyebrows at me. "Did you find her?" I ask.
He hesitates then says "Ya" and walks away.
I nod. Good I think to myself, and continue to my apartment. But as I walk I find myself thinking about the stiff again. What the hell. Why am I thinking of her! I shake my head. That is it. I am done with this. I will not oversee her training and I will not care. I can't have people thinking that I care for anyone. I'm the stone cold instructor.
Mer POV.
I don't really know how I got to the dauntless training room but I did and now I'm busy punching the punching bag. I do 20 punches, 20 kicks, run around the room, 10 push ups, 10 sit ups, 10 burpees, 10 squats, and 30 seconds of planks. I then start over, 20 punches, 20 kicks, run around the room, 10 push ups, 10 sit ups, 10 burpees, 10 squats, and 30 seconds of planks. I don't know how many times I do this, But after doing another 20 punches I look at my hands and they're all bloody and bruised. I stop and look at the time, holy shit! 7:30. I exercised all night. Dauntless will be wide awake now so I walk to the infirmary. The nurse wraps my hands and I make my way to the dinning hall. I get to the doors and my hand hesitates over the door handle. Come on Mer, you can do this. I grab the handle and swing the door open. I walk in and ignore anyone who is now looking at me. I look around to see that the initiates aren't up yet, although I don't see four either so I'm going to assume that he is waking them up now. I walk and grab food and then sit down at the table my friends have sat at for the last 3 days.
Half way through my meal the dining hall starts to grow louder. The doors open and when I look I see I initiate filing in. I watch as my friends walk in saying nothing. They just all look depressed. I mean I could be for another reason, but I'm going to assume it is because I got kicked out. They all walk to the food line and as I watch them in line Cassy locks eyes with me. It takes her a second to register but suddenly she screams and drops her tray. "MER!!!!!" she screams and runs over to me. I get up and met her half way. We crush each other in a hug, I laugh when I hear her actually crying.
"Hey, it's ok!" I say with a laugh
"Don't you ever leave me again" she says back...