As much as I'd like to spend my Saturday in bed, I have to work. This weekend I offered to do I could get more money added to my check.
I get dressed in my usual work attire. A black long sleeve and black work pants. My red apron looking thing I have to wear is at the theatre, so I'll put it on there.
My hair is natural per the usual, so I feel pretty ready to head out. Mom got out of work early today, so she's taking me.
The clock reads 5:20, so I'll have to be leaving soon. But I still need my daily dose of Taylor swift. After last night, I really want a day in.
My heart is still pounding at the thought of the encounter, but I feel good about saying something to her.
Kelsey was wrong. I'm not the same person I was last year, I've grown. And part of the growth is because of Blake.
My thoughts always drift to him at least 75% of the day. Ok maybe 80%.
I decide to walk out to the kitchen to tell mom I'm ready to go. She sits at the dining room table, head in her hands.
"Mom?" I ask.
She looks up teary eyed. I rush over to her so I can hug her. I'm assuming she's stressed out. Emerson and Jake caught a stomach bug, and she's been working a lot.
"What's wrong mom?"
Her eyes are still glossed over as she looks up at me. The table is stacked up with cardboard boxes and papers are scattered.
"We need to talk Dahl." She whispers.
Taking the seat next to hers, I listen intently. She's worrying me. I nod for her to talk.
"Please don't be upset, Dahlia, I can't bear to see you hurt at my doings anymore."
"What's going on, you're scaring me."
She takes a few deep breaths before continuing.
"I didn't get out early today. I was forced to leave. Not to take care of your brothers, but to pack up my stuff.
"We have to go back to Louisiana baby, the office there needs more workers, and they'll fire me if I don't go."
My mouth opens, my breathing stopped. No. I cant go back there. I've made friends here. I was finally, sort of happy.
"But, we just got here a couple months ago? Cant they give you a little longer?" I beg.
Shaking her head she says, "I'm not very qualified, Dahlia. I'm lucky to have even landed this job. Wherever they need me, I go, and right now that's back in Louisiana."
I cant process her words. I want to cry, break down, run away. I want to not be here. But I have to be here for mom.
We hug for a couple seconds, before I realize I still need to get to work. "I can walk to work, you have a lot of stuff to do."
"No no, I'll take you, it's the least I can do for everything you've done. Let's go."
The drive to the movie theatres feels impossibly slow. My mind is racing, yet time goes by in the opposite way. I'll have to say goodbye to everyone. I won't be at school next week since we're leaving Monday, so I'll text the girls tonight.
As for Blake: I'm not going to say anything. I love him too much, saying goodbye will make me want to stay, and he won't want that.
Finally, we arrive. I give mom a kiss on the cheek and reassure her that everything is fine. I'm having trouble believing that myself.
I drag myself to the ticket taker spot, not even bothering to say hi to Amira. She and I had talked a little more, but that's garbage now. Mom informed me that she already talked to Savannah about my job, so I won't have to confront that.
"Hey Dahlia, here's your apron." Ruse zips by throwing me the apron, then heading to concessions. He's a sweet boy, a couple years younger than me.
The apron has my name tag on it, and a few pockets that hold pens and such. It's just another 5 hours here, I can do this.
I scan ticket after ticket, send a few fake ones through the door, and scan some more.
I don't even bother taking a break because I forgot lunch today. And that's genuine. I've been eating better, I just didn't plan to work today or for mom to have that conversation with me.
About 2 hours into my shift, a large group of guys walks in. Fuck, I hate big groups of friends, I get scared they'll make fun of me. Or like, jump me? I don't know, but they make me anxious inside.
They go to the concessions and then head over to me for their tickets. There's like 15 of them, and it takes me a while to scan all of them.
Towards the back of the group, I notice Logan and Elijah. Their eyes go wide when they see me. "Dahlia?" Elijah asks.
"Oh, hi guys." I wave.
"You work here?" Logan questions.
"Yeah, I started not too long ago though." Shrugging, I put my hands out for their tickets. Once they're scanned, I direct them to their theatre. They whisper to each other, but go ahead with the group.
It's pretty quiet in the lobby after the group goes away, so I pull out my phone to check a few things really quick.
There's footsteps approaching, but I just got a text from mom.
mom: i'm so sorry. emerson started throwing up again, i won't be able to pick you up. can a friend take you?
me: it's ok, i'll walk. take care of him pls
mom: nonsense! it's too dark out.
me: fine, aaliyah will take me.
I lied. Aaliyah is busy tonight, so I'll be walking home anyway.
"Dahlia?"
Oh shit, lord take me now. I look up from my phone, eyes meeting with Blake. He's holding a medium popcorn in his hand, the other holds his ticket.
"Blake, hi!" I cough. Oh my god this is so embarrassing. I haven't told any of my friends that I got a job, because they'd talk me out of this. Blake especially hated the idea of my getting a job. He always said that I was stressed out enough, and that this would worsen it.
"What are you doing back there? With a name tag...Dahlia, what the hell?"
I cover the name tag and shrug. "I'm gonna need to scan the ticket." I say.
"Since when do you work here?" Well man he's just full of questions today.
"That's none of your business. Now can I please scan your ticket?"
He narrows his eyes and shakes his head while stepping backward. Is it really that much of a disbelief I got a job.
"Why? When? Why? A job? What the hell, why didn't you tell me?" He argues.
"We're not exactly speaking lately. Whatever the hell goes on in my life is none of your concern anymore. Now please give me your ticket or leave."
He hands me the ticket almost immediately, and I scan it. "Theatre 4. To your left."
Shaking his head, he walks away. Well that seems to be our thing then, huh? Walking away.
—————
The group of guys, including Blake, Logan, and Elijah, left about an hour ago. And finally, my shift has ended. I make it to say goodbye to everyone I sort of talked to, and Savannah as well.
The theatre is closed now, and outside is pretty much deserted, aside from the little ice cream shop across the street.
My bag is hanging from one shoulder, and I pull out my phone to share my location with Aaliyah, ya know just in case.
I turn left when I walk outside, and start walking towards the road that I sort of know that leads me home.
The leaves crunch under my feet, which I would usually like, but right now I want to be as quiet as possible.
I look both ways before I cross the little road that leads to the back parking lot of the theatre, and then I start towards home.
"Dahlia." Well my name seems to be called a lot lately.
I turn to see Blake sitting on a bench, right under all the movie posters. His group left an hour ago, what is he still doing here?
"Shouldn't you be home?" I say back.
He stands up to walk to where I am. There's a little concrete square that I'm standing on, waiting for him to walk over.
"Where are you going?" He asks me.
"Home, where else?"
He looks around where we're standing, the parking lot. "Do you drive now too?"
I scoff at his attempt at sarcasm. "No, I'm walking. Which I'd like to get back to if you'd let me. Have a good night."
My feet turn towards the other direction, but just like always, he grabs my wrist to hold me.
"You're walking home, at night? On a Saturday?" He narrows his eyes.
"My mom couldn't get me tonight. Now will you let my wrist go?"
He lets out a sigh, and for a moment I forget we're not in our little relationship. I forget we no longer compliment each other, or kiss each other, and everything else. Because he's Blake, and he acts the same and helps me the same.
"Let me take you home."
"No."
"Yes."
"Nope."
"Yep."
"Ugh, you are exhausting. Fine!" I roll my eyes at him, and he leads me to where his car is parked. His white jeep.
He doesn't fail to open the door for me, or help me into the seat. He's still the same Blake I love, and that hurts me so much.
Starting the car, he backs out and drives towards my house. I like to think he has every bit of me memorized like I do him.
We are silent. Completely. I stare out the window like I do when he picks me up for school and drops me off at home. I hate it.
He turns into my street, and parks in his usual spot along the curb. I make no effort to move, and he doesn't say anything.
"Why did you get a job, Dahlia?"
What a stupid question. "Because I need money." I respond.
"I told you not to. I told you I'd help you."
"And now we're not fucking talking. All we do is sit in complete silence whenever we're near each other. You made the choice to leave, you made the choice to stop talking to me, that was all you, Blake."
"Because you don't want me like I want you, Dahlia! I cant stand the thought of being near you knowing that, let alone speak to you. But I'm here to help you, why in the hell would you go and get a job?"
"Really? I don't want you like you want me? I love you, Blake! You don't want me the way I want you!" The tears start flowing down my cheeks as I go to cup Blake's cheek.
"I love you, and I'm so sorry that I ruined that. You can't help me anymore, I have to move on." Sobs are threatening to break out, I'm so close to kissing him goodbye.
But he's silent. Staring at me like I'm crazy. That's all the confirmation I need.
I pull my hand away from him to wipe off the tears from my face. This is the last time I'll see him, the last time I'll see Blake Austin.
"I love you, thank you so much for everything you've done. I hope you get scouted and become everything you want to be, you deserve at least that."
Grabbing my bag, I step out of the car and speed walk to the door.
"Dahlia! Dahlia, please wait!" He yells.
We're too far gone. I slam the door behind me, and run to my room to cry.
There are boxes everywhere from moms packing. And now everything is final. I've texted the girls to meet up to say goodbye. I've told Blake I love him. And my room is being packed up. Everything is final.
It's time to leave this all behind. No matter how much I don't want to.
—————
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