7. HER NAME IS LIKE VOLDEMORT
Eevi
We arrived to Kemi after couple hours and we all were tired from all the travelling.
We went straight to the hotel where we had our rooms, I shared the room with Niko.
I layed on my bed, and I looked the ceiling.
The comfy bed underneath me made me relax, and I wanted to lay here forever.
Niko also layed down on his bed which was next to mine.
I don't remember the last time when I was in a hotel.
I haven't done anything interesting with my life in a long time.
I remember when I turned 18, I didn't have any friends to go party with. Niko was 19 then and he still lived in Oulu that time. The next time I came to see my family, he dragged me to a bar, Tommi, Joonas and Joel came too.
It was fun, and I drank so much that I don't remember a thing what happened after we got into the bar.
But I haven't done anything that fun in years.
Still I don't have any friends, I only have Niko and the other boys. Not that I complain about it, no. I love them. They are the best company and it's never boring with them.
But you know, they have their own things and are very busy especially now when everybody knows them and they have a lot of new fans.
I feel pretty lonely sometimes. But then I play piano, write lyrics and sing.
But I sing love songs most of the time. And you know why I sing them.
How can someone be so in love? This feels unreal.
"What you want to do on your birthday?" Niko suddenly asked and I was on this world again, and not in my imaginary world.
My birthday, turning 25. I think I have an age crisis already, I'm sure my hair is going grey when ever I hear that guestion.
"I don't know..." I said as an answer, and I heard how Niko turned on his side and watched me. I decided to turn my head and look him back.
"No but seriously. Last year.. what did you do then? Layed on your bed and drank wine all alone?" Niko said looking worried.
"I like being alone." I shook my shoulders that much I could, my muscles were too relaxed to do anything.
No, I don't really like to be alone.
I have got used to it so much, that it feels.. too lonely.
When I'm alone at my home, watching my walls, I secretly wish that someone would text me and ask me to go somewhere to do something.
Because I'm too scared to ask that first.
And who would I ask?
"We are going to have a party that night. We have a show at Oulu that day, and we own the after party to you." Niko smiled and I just smiled too, but in inside I felt anxious.
"Is it really fine that I'm with you guys? Don't you have enough stress and hurry without me?"
That ceiling looked so nice somehow again, but I felt how Niko watched me with his green eyes, and I was too scared to look him back.
I already know his answer, that yes it's fine and everybody likes that I'm with them.
Is it the truth?
I hate being somewhere, and everyone is asking that is everything okay and do I need something.
Somehow I like it when someone asks that if I'm okay, but now it feels too exhausing and embarrasing that six men asks that, and of course the crew.
I feel so.. weak.
That I wouldn't make it. That everyone is having an eye on me.
We were preparing ourselves to go for a dinner to the hotel's restaurant. Luckily we got an private area somewhere where is no windows or anything.
I was putting my earrings on in front of a bathroom mirror, and Niko was putting his hair on a messy bun.
It was hard to put on the other earring, those were little bit thicker and I lost my nerves.
"Fuck this!" I said annoyed and throwed the earring away, as fast as I took the other one away too.
"Woah, your nerves are thinner than usual." Niko looked me eyes wide open, maybe little bit scared that I made a scene because of an earring.
I just rolled my eyes and went to put my shoes on.
"Shall we go? We are late already." I asked annoyed from the door.
I'm always the one who is on time and hates being late, but Niko.. he can be pain in the ass sometimes because of the slowness.
Not always, but especially when were going somewhere. His sense of time is not always the best.
"Yeah yeah. Why you didn't go already then if it's so important?" Niko came to put his shoes on and I watched his every move.
I didn't say anything, only showed him my grumpy resting face and when he stood up from the kneeling position, he grinned.
"You waited for me because you care about me, that's so sweet." He repeated poking me and talked with that kind of tone, like you talk to a cute puppy or something.
I just sighed, rolled my eyes again and opened the door.
"Hey, what took so long with you two?" We got an annoyed look from Joel.
"And you're the perfect one here?" I raised my other eyebrow. There was empty seat next to Aleksi, so I sat there. I lifted my eyes up, and of course Olli sat across from me, and Tommi sat next to him.
I got a smile from both of them, I smiled back.
Like in the old days.
"Well I'm not late like someone here.." Joel mumbled back, watching his menu.
"Okay before these two start to mock and argue with each other again, let's get something to drink." Joonas tried to lighten the mood and waved to a waitress.
"That's your relation with Joel? I wouldn't had expected from you." Olli suddenly said and I looked his eyes instead of my menu.
He smirked little bit and I just shook my head, smiling.
"Sometimes I feel like Joel is more of my big brother than Niko." I looked around, and Niko sat on the other side of Aleksi.
"Really? Why is that?" Niko frowned.
"You never argue with me. Joel is something else..." I sighed and heard quiet chuckling around me.
"You guys have no idea." Joel smirked as I watched him for a second. I gave him that look to shut his mouth.
We got our beers, wines and what else.
We waited our foods and I listened everything what boys talked around me. Niko, Joel and Joonas had their own conversation, and Aleksi, Tommi and Olli had their own.
I just took small sips of my wine and tried not to look Olli.
But it was hard, sometimes our eyes met for a second, and I always looked somewhere else.
Some of the guys from the crew joined us, and I was happy to see Santeri. I haven't seen him in a long time either.
"Hi, so nice to see you." He gave me that wonderful smile as he walked next to me. I stood up and gave him a hug.
"It's nice to see you too." I smiled and he took a seat next to me, to the right side.
Then Santeri looked around smiling, especially me, Olli and Tommi.
"Woah, this is crazy. Look at us! Just days ago we were at secondary school and now we are here. Together, after many years." He placed his hand under his jaw.
"Have you taken rum already, or why you're so happy now?" Tommi asked and it made the three of us laugh.
"Can't I be happy to see my friends?" Santeri frowned and took a sip of the beer. We already ordered for the crew too.
"And yes I took." He continued whispering loud and we all grinned. My eyes met with Olli again. Shit.
When will I stop looking at him?
We got our foods, and that talking never stopped. Always someone was talking, and when Joonas said something stupid it made Miki and Niko almost choke on their foods.
It was getting late, and everyone were tired. But the alcohol made it worse. Everyone were giggling around and saying stupid jokes.
It was my second glass of wine actually, I needed to be prepared for the up coming after parties.
"And Olli, how is your life with that blonde?" Mikko asked grinning from the other side of the long and big table.
"Which one of them, Joonas or Joel?" Olli smirked and we all laughed again. This is getting too tired. We are not even drunk and I already feel like this is it.
"No but seriously. Last time when we saw you were little stressed about it?" Mikko asked again, and we all went silent. Except Joonas who still giggled little bit because of that joke Olli made.
I didn't like the topic we were talking about, but I closely watched every Olli's movement he made when I took a long sip of my wine.
"Getting better. But downhills are involved to relationships, isn't it right?" Olli chuckled nervously.
"If it's always one big downhill, then no." Santeri said next to me.
I was getting confused, what is going on with Olli's life, like seriously. With the blonde one.
Name that I don't want to say out loud.
Her name is one big deal for me like Voldemort is to every student and teacher at Hogwarts.
"But hey, we have a woman here! Eevi, tell us your advices how to handle woman? You are guys so.. difficult and complicated sometimes." Santeri poked me.
I freezed. I barely breathed because of the silence, everyone's eyes on me. Thinking that soon they will get golden advices.
"Do I look like I know? I'm not a book or internet that tells you every answer to anything." I rolled my eyes and took the last sip of my wine.
"You're woman, you should know." Joonas was the next one to open his mouth.
I looked everyone for a second, and when my eyes met with Olli again, I wanted to escape.
"First of all, some of woman's are so difficult, snakes and total bitches that you don't handle them in any way. Second of all, do I look like I care?" I stood up and took my phone from the table.
I started to walk away, when I heard something.
"She has been grumpy all night." Niko said. And I could almost hear how Joel's lips turned in to a small grin.
I just took a deep breath, and continued my way to hotel room.
It was midnight, I tried to sleep but it was hard. I heard the door opening and Niko walked in.
I heard how he tried to do everything so quietly, but then he dropped something and it made a loud noice. I opened my eyes and sat up, then Niko looked me suprised for a moment.
"Sorry.. did you wake up?" He asked.
"No, I can't sleep anyways." I sighed and layed down again, looking at the ceiling.
"Why you talked like that at the restaurant and left?" He sat on his bed while opening his hair from that bun.
"I just don't want to hear anything about that woman, okay?" I closed my eyes and buried myself better under the blanket.
"Everyone were little confused, especially Olli." He then said.
"Just say me that you told him?" I sat up again, and I was very pissed. Niko looked just confused.
"Told him what? That you love him? Would've I had said it?" He frowned and my nerves were really thin again. They are going to snap in any moment.
"No! And don't tell him, or anyone else! Let me sleep and don't talk about her or him." I snapped and layed down again, my back faced Niko.
"Eevi.. I'm worried about you and I see that you're hurting. I don't know would your condition get any better if you would just open your mouth and tell him. But please, don't act like that." He sighed and I was so angry right now.
He's right. That's why I'm mad.
"It's hurting like a hell. And I'm sure that someday I will get crazy. My feelings are slowly killing me." I talked with weak voice.
I felt Niko's hand in my shoulder, he gently stroked it throught the blanket.
He didn't say anything, but I knew that he had a lot to say. Sometimes it's better be silent, before someone is hurting even more.
Merry christmas to everyone! You got a little bit longer chapter today.
Thank you for reading this story, and for every vote and comment <3
Enjoy this christmas time, and stay safe🖤
Even tho I'm not a christmas person, I would love to stay in bed, under warm blanket and watch netflix all day<3