TW: SWEARING, YELLING, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOUR, DEEP EMOTIONAL PAIN
If you're like me and are emotionally attached to these characters or the story I highly recommend tissues. Do not make the same mistake I made and forget them. <3
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A/N: Your outfit (plus character accessories) feel free to imagine something else <3 Image from Reddit
I adjust the strap of Wilbur's old guitar that I was taking with me as well as the strap of my empty satchel. Techno had told me about a flower field that had bloomed for spring, the perfect place to look for potion ingredients and - if I have time - practice magic.
I smile whilst saddling Carl as an idea pops into my mind. Maybe I can make flower crowns whilst I'm there. I haven't made any for ages. Not since I remembered how I used to make them with Dream. As the memory comes forward the voices start fussing.
"What's wrong?" I ask them leading carl out of his stable. They hush quickly giving nothing away. I sigh knowing that I won't get anything out of them.
I mount Carl and we start our trek out of the tundra in the direction of the field Techno described. It was unusually warm today, I suppose spring wants to lean into summer quickly this year. Although it was warmer, Phil insisted I wore my cloak until I was out of the Tundra because "it's still cold".
Maybe I just have thick skin, or I've adjusted unnaturally well to the cold like Techno and Ranboo, but I didn't feel cold. Phil and Tommy, however, never stopped complaining about it. Like father like son, I smile at the thought.
~~~~ Technoblade's P.O.V ~~~~
The thud of Carl's hooves tells me that Y/N has left on her trip. Although I wish she hadn't...
"But my saturation Techno!" Tommy whines tossing a golden apple between his palms.
"Tommy! You can't eat the god apples! What's wrong with regular food?" I sigh and snatch the apple mid-air making Tommy whine more. Gods, at this point I'd even ask Ranboo to save me. But he just has to be a good parent. Phil better be back quickly or else I'll consider skinning this child.
"WHAT'S WRONG WITH EATING THE APPLES, BLADE?!"
"THEY'RE EXPENSIVE! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET THOSE?!"
"YOU ARE A BITCH!" Tommy slumps back in his chair triumphantly as I groan exasperated.
"I need tea," I murmur under my breath and go to the stove to make more. I swear this child better listen soon or I'll drop kick him out the window. I hear the munch and crunch of more apples as Tommy further decimates my stash.
I find myself watching the world outside the window. It was unusually warm although Phil insisted that it was still cold. He's probably just being an old man.
I see some of his crows flit about in the trees of the forest in the distance. Their stark colour made up for their lack in size, I could see each one clearly as they squabbled over inconsequential bird things.
A glint in the trees catches my eyes. I squint trying to make out what it is as it saunters out of the shade. As it draws nearer I see that it's not sauntering, it's marching... quickly. I catch a glimpse of bone white and lime green and I feel my breath catch when I spot the gleaming netherite axe.
"Tommy, there's an invisibility potion in the brewing stand. Drink it and hide... Now," I hear Tommy groan and roll his eyes.
"You're so fucking uptight what the fuck are you even worried about there's nothing," he takes another chunk out of the apple and pushes me away from the window. I see his eyes widen as I shove him away so that Dream doesn't catch sight of him.
"HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"
"SHUT UP OR HE'LL FIND YOU! Invisibility and hide... NOW!" I shove him harshly towards the brewing stand making him stumble. Shakily he drinks taking big slurping desperate gulps as I throw away the apple cores and shove his mug in the sink.
I spot a crate in the corner.
"Tommy, in the crate," I growl and I see the lid move open and close indicating that he had moved inside.
"Keep your mouth shut and don't you dare take a bite out of that apple," I don't let my fretting slip into my voice as I rip the coats from the hook by the door and shove them into the crate with Tommy. I hear him muffle an "ow". I rush back to the window and see that Dream is quickly approaching the stairs.
I hear the dreaded rapping of Dream's impatient fist on the wooden door. Taking a steadying breath to calm me and the voices. I set my crown on my head and open the door.
"Dream, interesting seeing you here," I keep my voice level and monotone. This wasn't the first time I've had to lie. But it is the first time I've had to lie with somebody hiding in a crate who was on the run from a green madman.
"Technoblade, do you mind if I come in?" Dream's voice was hoarse and slightly puffed. He'd come a long way. I look over his axe warily and against my better judgment allow him inside.
He hums as he glances around the small space. I watch him take note of everything, every cup in the sink, the dirty pot on the stove, the large fire in the fireplace, my chests, brewing stands and many unorganised papers.
"You live alone, don't you?" he asks, I shake my head knowing if I tell him I live alone he'll point out all the reasons why I don't.
"I live with Phil," I say boredly and lean against the wall with my arms crossed.
"I don't believe I've ever seen your house before-"
"Dream, why are you here?" I demand an answer. It seemed sensible, he did just burst in unannounced.
"You are aware that Tommy was exiled, yes?" I nod not wanting a wavering voice to give me away.
"Tommy left. L'Manburg thinks that he's dead, I know otherwise. Have you seen him?" I force away my instinct to stiffen. Dream's gaze was sharp, sharper than any weapon at my disposal. But his voice was the most terrifying thing about him.
When a person hides their face, you lose nearly everything you understand about what they're saying. Body language is the most important part of any form of communication, it's also universal. Dream has taken that ease of understanding away. So one is forced to listen to his tone of voice for any tiny detail that may reveal itself.
I could tell Dream was tired, that he hadn't drunk enough for a while. He sounded parched, rough, rigid. Desperation lurked below the surface no matter how hard he tried to hide it. Then below it all was something crazed. A deeper, secluded part of himself that he had let out for the sole purpose of keeping himself alive.
He is pathetic and he refuses to believe it. He is hopeful in a way that is hopeless. It was a depressing sight to witness.
He is a man with nothing left to lose.
"I have not seen him," Dream stays perfectly still; silently giving nothing and everything away simultaneously.
"Do you mind if I have a look around?" again, stillness.
"You may," I grant and watch as he heads down the ladder into the basement. Thankfully, Tommy had spent the last few nights in Y/N's house so his cot wasn't there. I'll force him to come back tonight, I don't want her going sleepless. I go to follow him but hear a loud munch coming from the crate.
DID HE JUST FUCKING EAT ANOTHER APPLE?!
I stick my head down the ladder, Dream didn't seem to have heard it. He was rifling through some storage chests. Nothing of value.
I pull myself back up and kick the crate hearing a groan of protest in the process.
"What was that?" Dream calls, an edge in his tone.
"I stubbed my toe," I lie through my teeth and glared at the crate. I hear the rifling through the contents of my chests resume and think nothing more of it. I hear an angry slam of a chest lid and the sound of creaking on the ladder.
Dream climbs upstairs and then comes back down nearly straight away. My room was bare to say the least, nowhere to hide. I had a feeling he hadn't seen the trapdoor that lead to the other basements.
Good, I don't want him seeing my gold.
"My apologies for bursting in on short notice," Dream sets his axe in its place over his shoulder.
"I have no qualms with you Dream, I'd like to keep it that way," I hold my hands up in a sign of peace and then slip them into my pockets.
"I'll see you around," Dream mumbled and sweeps out the door. I listen for his receding footsteps as they make their way off the stone stairs.
Once quiet had reclaimed its place, I set my crown aside and look to the window. I watch Dream's silhouette grow smaller until it is overtaken by the trees. A relieved sigh escapes my lips and I turn to the now open crate and the invisible boy who I could feel staring at my back.
"Tommy, you are so bad at hiding."
~~~~ Y/N's P.O.V ~~~~
The wind blows through the valley ruffling my skirt and my hair as I kneel down again and sift through the flowers. They had started to bloom and did so beautifully. Whilst most of the valley was still green, clusters, as well as speckled freckles of flowers, were scattered about.
I groan irritatedly when I don't find what I'm looking for. I'd found the poppies, jasmine and lavender but chamomile remained elusive. I was going to experiment with them in different sorts of potions to see what effect they would have. But I needed chamomile as a medium agent so that stuff wouldn't explode and ruin the house.
I stand again and walk back to Carl with my satchel at my hip. I'd left him loose to graze on the sweet grass between the flowers. He wasn't going anywhere soon. The grass tickles the top of my feet and the wind blows my skirt wildly in front of me as I walk over the slight rise.
"Carl, this adventure may just be the end of them all," I whine and adjust my cloak that seemed to be slipping from where I'd left it on Carl's saddle. I'd slipped my shoes and crown into one of his saddlebags too. I'm not sure if it was my new connection to the earth, but there was something about physically being connected to the ground that was deeply gratifying.
I swap my satchel for Wilbur's guitar without much thought. I walk back through the field taking deep breaths to properly smell the sweet, warm air. I smirk when I hear the buzzing of a bee knowing how much Tubbo would have enjoyed being here with me. Michael would adore this place too.
I find a familiar face pop into my mind. Would Dream like it here? Would he like to be here with me?
I remember now that we were children when we first met. We knew nothing about one another, not even each other's names. Did he know my name? I only knew his nickname. Perhaps if I had known his real name, things would be different.
Perhaps we would have spent the time we had with each other instead of grappling with how to simply say "hello" to the other person. Maybe I would have been able to make him another flower crown or convince him to finally get rid of his damned mask. I hate that thing, it's ruined him.
Maybe he would have told me about his family; how young he was when they died. They must have died not long after the first easter when I met him. The next time I saw him, I suppose I just have been nearly fifteen. His parents would have been long dead...
I miss him. I love him. And yet everything about me forces me to be afraid of him, of the love he may have.
Schlatt did a fucking good job that's for sure.
A wind rushes to my face and alerts me of my wet eyes. I sniffle and wipe them. Looking for a distraction, I bring the guitar to the front of my body. I try to think of something happy, maybe a tune Lorelei had taught me. But there was only one song that came to mind.
I used to hear a simple song
That was until you came along
Now in its place is something new
I hear it when I look at you
~~~~ Dream's P.O.V ~~~~
The forest changes slowly from sharp evergreen pine to the wide round leaves of oak and snowy birch trees. The atmosphere grows warmer and the day seems cheerier.
I don't notice a lick of it.
Tommy should have been there. There was nowhere else he possibly could have run to. Did he somehow make his own way? Did he run away to the middle of nowhere and build a new life?
No, Tommy wouldn't do that. He's not smart or determined enough to choose that. Although he seems pretty determined about his fucking discs.
My breath comes in hot pants and I feel my forehead start to sweat from the extra heat. Yet that voice inside me still screams against the thought of taking off my mask. A wind blows through the trees and suddenly I find myself somewhere else.
I remember how amazing Y/N found spring, even though she was resisting us back then. She sat on the back verandah staring out at the flowering meadow. She'd sit for hours with that guitar. I never could remember where it came from. Neither could George or Sapnap, we'd just always had it in the house I suppose.
Hours and hours, nothing but some of the sweetest melodies. Sometimes, I'd come home after scouting L'Manburg and hear her playing. I'd never tell her, but I would creep in silently and sit on the couch in the living room listening. The windows and doors were often open so I heard everything. Not that she cared, she despised us. It was a miracle she even left her room.
I remember it so clearly. The sweet smell that hung tangibly in the air, the equally sweet voice that accompanied her guitar. The softness of the blankets on the couch, the absence of the mask...
I didn't even realise I had closed my eyes or stopped walking. But there I stood in the middle of a forest, alone and so willfully overcome with nostalgia. For the first time since she'd left, I felt as though I was in a dream or a character in a novel. It felt so real it was almost as if she was here playing music for me once more.
I feel the wind blow again forcing sense back into me. I continue my march trying to find the drive I had before, but the sound of the guitar wouldn't leave my mind. It was so prominent, so real it was almost true.
A single discordant pluck halts me as if I had walked into a wall. I stumble for a moment, dazed and confused.
I choose to listen. I hear it, loud and clear.
I run towards it.
~~~~ Y/N's P.O.V ~~~~
I feel an energy start to leave me, although it doesn't drain me.
With simple songs I wanted more
Perfection is so quick to bore
I smile at the line. It was true that everything in my life was so far from perfect. Although sometimes there were moments that felt perfect. Many of those, were with Dream.
You are more beautiful by far
Our flaws are who we really are
I can't stop the tears anymore. My hands were busy, tangled in the strings and my mind was a soggy mess.
All I could think of were the daisies we traded as children. The memory of the gentleness in his hand as he tucked it behind my ear nearly made me fall apart. But I had a song to finish. I could smell the air growing sweeter telling me that I had unknowingly been growing flowers with my tears.
When he gave me a daisy he had smiled honestly. I had told him what they meant.
I love you truly.
I really do love you truly.
A shaky breath sticks in my throat like honey as a rollercoaster of emotions hit me. So many I hadn't felt in a long, long time. I put it all into the melody.
~~~~ Dream's P.O.V ~~~~
I don't even feel the weight of the axe. Just the pounding of my heart and feet rattling every part of my body.
The sweetness of the guitar serves only to haunt me as I sprint faster than I think I've ever sprinted before. Trees fly past me seeming blurry and unreal. My only guide is the soft sound of the guitar. I twist and turn following the sound so that it grew louder and louder.
I feel my pulse leap into a racing pace as I spot the gap between the trees where they open onto a meadow. I didn't focus on the irony of it.
I skid to a stop at the edge of the treeline and scan my surroundings with bated breath. I don't see her, but I see a chestnut horse not far away.
My legs are too exhausted to be pushed faster than a jog. The horse only raises its head to look at me and then returns to its grass. I frown when I notice the familiarity of the horse. I walk around it and notice a navy cloak with white fur lining and golden trim. The saddlebags are full and a satchel hangs next to them.
I see the shine of silver embellishments on the horse's breast collar. I take a closer look and see a symbol that was again familiar but that my memory did not care for.
I look around. Is this Y/N's horse?
I listen again hearing the guitar, louder now. I was closer. My heart nearly stops when I hear what layers over the top of it. A sound I thought I may never hear again. The most glorious sound in the whole world.
Her voice.
~~~~ Y/N's P.O.V ~~~~
As the song grows greater in sound and meaning, and my tears continue to drip onto the side of the instrument.
I used to hear a simple song
That was until you came along
I struggle to stop my voice from breaking with the emotion. Like a pot in a kiln, under an immense amount of heat and pressure, not cracking seems impossible. I pick the strong between strums, my fingers flying as fast as the wind. It's a miracle I'm still standing.
You took my broken melody
And now I hear a symphony
I shut my eyes and pour everything into the final part of the song. Thousands of memories rush through my head, many I'd never seen before, many different versions of old memories that are now lost on me. I remember. I'm remembering so much that I had been barren of before.
I sprint towards the final section of the song, my fingers speed up the guitar for the final run. And then there was silence. I choke on a breath unable to finish.
I hear nothing but the wind through the flowers and grasses. Feeling pulsing energy at my feet, I look down to see the work of art I had created.
Around where I stood, flowers had bloomed and grown bright and tall. Beauty from the depths of great despair. A thing full of wonder...
Alliums stood bold and tall in their beautiful lilac colour. Daisies were the most abundant, though it made my chest ache. Marigolds, peonies, forget-me-nots. Closest to my ankles, I could see no green, further away I saw a little. I'd created a most unusual ombre.
I turn my head to the sky. Perfectly blue, with wisps of clouds. They inch slowly; pushed by gentle winds, unlike the wild ones that shook the trees around me and sent ripples through the meadow.
Perfect blue sky, like it was on the day I spent outside in the meadow behind the house I used to live in with Dream, Sapnap and George. In the dark, the sky would be littered with stars like the night Dream took me hunting for fireflies. If it was grey it would be like the days I would spend strumming the guitar in the living room or on the window seat or baking whilst Sapnap and George fuss about how hungry they are.
I kneel setting the guitar gently onto the ground into the bed of flowers I had created. It was quiet, only my shaky breaths, heartbeat and the wind kept silence at bay. I pluck a single daisy from the meadow, only to see it grow back immediately after. I don't dwell on the magic.
I simply stood up once more to face the sky and tucked the little flower behind my ear. I let my tears race like rivers down my face.
~~~~ Dream's P.O.V ~~~~
Silence.
Her voice stopped.
I feel panic strip my bones and force me to tremble like the leaves on the trees surrounding the meadow. All I can hear is the wind and the occasional snort from the horse.
My breathing quickens and I look around frantically. I can't find my voice although it sits waiting in my chest. No voice to call her name or try and find her. Only exhausted breaths and tired eyes alight with fear and hope.
Helplessly, I let my knees give way and my legs finally get the rest they have craved for I don't know how long. I press my hands into the dirt to steady myself. I can't let myself get emotional now, I can't fall apart now. Not when she's just a few steps away.
I squeeze my eyes shut trying to force the stars out of them. I blink harshly and open them. I stare at my hands. Something real that I can latch onto.
My breath slows as I witness something in the soil near my hands.
A pattern.
I quickly pick my hands up when I see it pulse. I can't help but lean back in to inspect it.
A strange glowing pattern of graceful sweeps and swirls between the tiniest grains of earth. I hear a strange sort of stretching sound and look up.
A flower blooms, just centimetres away from my mask. I touch it cautiously.
Is this magic?
I look ahead and see a gradient of blooming flowers. The further away they were from the source, the less they bloomed.
It couldn't be her... That's impossible.
But I have to know.
I slowly push myself to my feet, wary of the great power that seemed to pulsate beneath my shoes. As I walk, the flowers I press down into the ground spring right back to where they were before.
I feel as though I'm in a haze as I step slowly but surely over the rise. I'm mystified by the power at my feet. I can't look up.
The softest thud whips me from the trance-like spell I had fallen under.
And she's there.
She slowly rises from the flowers that grew thickly around her feet leaving the guitar on the ground.
She rises with a daisy instead.
A daisy. Like the one I gave her. If only I told her that I loved her there and then. So much would be different.
For once, everything in my brain is silent. No thoughts left to think, no "what if" to ponder upon, no emotions to repress. I feel as though I am made of stone as I watch her.
My Y/N.
My amazing, beautiful, clever, talented Y/N.
She is everything to me, and she's right there for me to reach out to.
Is this even real? Or am I locked in some sort of torturous nightmare?
Will I wake up and see that I'm alone again? In a cave or sleeping in a tree or by a river. Is this just a rare moment of slumbering bliss?
I watch her stare at the sky. The big wide blue sky full of endless possibilities.
She tucks the daisy behind her ear.
I finally find my voice.
"Y/N?"
~~~~ Y/N's P.O.V ~~~~
That can't be real.
I turn around and feel my breath leave my body and my heart stop beating in my chest for a split second.
He's there.
Dream is there.
Only a few metres stand between us.
I feel nothing and I know I'm in shock. My brain doesn't think or process anything.
I feel the wind blow harshly behind me as if pushing me towards him. But I can't bring my feet to take a single step. My dress blows out in front of me and so does my hair. I feel the connection I have with the earth deepen greatly. My mind feels like a cracked dam wall, about to burst at any moment.
I'm frozen in time, Dream doesn't look away from me as he peels his gloves from his hands. He drops them and then reaches behind his head.
I hear an all too familiar yet rare click of the clasp of the mask coming undone. He lets it fall from his face onto the ground where his gloves are.
His face.
His wonderful face, streaked with tears and lines born of worry and stress.
I only see him. Not the flowers growing at his feet or the bluest of skies. Only him.
The sun catches his freckles in their best light making them shine like copper on his skin. The scar over his left eye that scares many but to me only made him more dashing.
Eyes the colour of the most splendid emeralds the world could offer.
I feel myself melt inside when it hits me that he's crying too. When I feel that he had missed me as infinitely as I had missed him.
I puff out an unsteady breath and feel my lips tug upwards into a soppy smile. Great sorrow, longing and shock give way to undeniable and unrelenting joy.
I let my bliss take over and feel the stem of the daisy thread through my hair. In sweeping swirls, it catches my hair in a daisy vine. The stark white in my hair tightened and bloomed more until it finished.
How long have we stood here for? Breathing heavily and feeling sticky with.. well everything.
I watch Dream's face morph from one of disbelief to the same joy I felt.
He smiled. A real genuine smile that made my heart feel like it might stop in my chest.
Our breathing quickens as our gasps, both of sobs and laughter, desperately claw to make their escape. I grip tightly to the fabric of my dress to try and stay grounded.
To hell with it.
A tiny whimper escapes my lips and I run towards him. Time moves slowly drawing out the moment. I see peace cross Dream's features as he opens his arms for me. I launch myself into his embrace.
On impact we immediately allow ourselves to finally sob and let out everything we've held in for the longest time. I take in everything.
My arms are wrapped tightly behind his neck and my head nuzzled into its spot in the crook of his neck. He had an arm tightly clinging to my waist keeping our bodies as close as the gods would allow. His other hand rested firmly yet so gently at the back of my neck, cradling my head. His head rested in the crook of my neck too.
We fit together. It felt cheesy like in the love stories I read in the library or the lovelorn poem we read in class when I was still in school. But we really did fit together... perfectly.
I don't know if the gods thought we should be made for one another. I don't know if it was destiny, coincidence, consequence or our own choice to meet. But whatever it was, I couldn't be more grateful for it.
As we latch onto one another I feel a surge of magic pulse into the earth but I leave no room to focus on it.
The sound of Dream's sobs does something strange to my heart. They fill it but also make it feel hollow. But they don't completely sound like sobs. His sobs were erratic and tucked between bursts of overwhelmed and overjoyed laughter.
I hold him so close to me I can scarcely breathe, I'm sure that he feels the same.
I'm taken by surprise when Dream slips both his hands to my waist and hoists me into the air. I laugh excitedly, kicking petals up with my feet and he lifts me up. We laugh together as he spins me in the air.
It's only then that I notice what I'd done to the meadow. There was not a speck of green in sight. The ground was solely made of flowers. It looked like a floor that somebody had painted. A fairytale, a story, a painting.
I'm swept back into his arms fitting again so perfectly in my place. I feel like I belong here, and I have no objections.
I hold Dream upright as his laughs slowly slip into tears. I rub his back feeling my own silent tears trickle down my face as he shakes with sobs.
As he sobs I'm hit with memories. One after another after another after another. They come flying in fast, breaking away from the dam wall which held them in. Many were of Dream but most of them were about me. My life, the person who I was and everything that I ever went through.
I choke on my tears as the realisation hits me.
I remember.
I remember everything.
Unable to hold the two of us up any longer, my knees weaken and we sink into the bed of flowers I had created unawares. Dream continues to bawl his eyes out whilst I cry silently, my attention focused on comforting him.
Dream hugs my waist and I keep a hand on the back of his neck and the other rubbing his back. We rock ever so slightly as Dream struggles to come to terms with what's happening. I can't imagine how he feels.
All this time I knew about him but he knew nothing of me. I was told that he was still alive whilst he and the rest of L'Manburg and the SMP had no idea about me. So long he had been guessing and assuming the worst. So much time... even more pain.
"I'm here Dream," my voice cracks horribly and I feel his sobs worsen.
"I'm right here I promise you that I'm right here," sobs stick between my words making them crash together like moths to a lamp. I realise that one of the sobs was a hiccup and I feel Dream's arms tighten around me.
I feel him take some deep breaths and then lift his head from my neck but keep his hands on my shoulders.
"I-I thought you w-were... dead," the final word blurts out like it's the first time he's ever said it aloud. I try my best to smile reassuringly although I'm sure I just look like a sobbing mess. I take his face in my hands gently, I'm almost afraid to touch it, as if he would fade away like smoke.
"I'm alive Dream. I'm alive and I'm alright. I know you never gave up on me..." I trail off unable to keep going as I desperately suck in a breath of air.
I notice that Dream's sobbing had ceased. His hands gently take the sides of my face into his palms. His hands, however rough, were so kind and so warm. I've missed them.
Our breathing is slow and heavy and our cheeks are still stained with tears. Softly, I brush my thumb over the bottom of his scar. His eyes hold me in a stillness I never imagined possible. Tenderly, he brushes his thumb over my bottom lip. His eyes flicker there and I find myself looking at his lips too.
Our eyes flicker back to one another as we lean in a little closer. I feel my eyes flutter shut and the most bountiful gift of Spring is given to me.
We close the gap and I feel as though everything I had ever wanted was now my own.
In the quiet, I'm sure that I hear a symphony.
~~~~
Who the fuck is cutting fucking onions. Not cool dude.
I can't right now I literally can barely see the screen. Good thing copy and paste exist although I hate to use it as my sign out.
I HOPE YOU HAVE A WONDERFUL MORNING/DAY/EVENING/NIGHT <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
MWAH MWAH MWAH