Two months later
I miss you.
You stare at the message on your screen for what seems like the millionth time since it first showed up a few weeks earlier. Your fingers hover uselessly over the keyboard but you don't know what to say. I miss you too. I'm ready to come back home now. I think we should talk. All of these thoughts and possible responses flash through your head but none of them feel right to just send through text. You had been hiding at Pepper's for too long now, desperately trying to sort out the mess that was in both your head and in your heart. You did miss him. You wanted nothing more than to go home but you still had no idea of what to say to him. No idea of how to explain the things that Sam had pointed out. You had loved Steve. Of course you had. You and Steve had planned on spending the rest of your lives together but.... You sigh and put your phone down, leaving the message unanswered and adding to your already substantial guilt. You hadn't heard Pepper enter the room and almost jumped out of your skin when she layed a gentle hand on your shoulder.
"Honey, why don't you just go home to him and the two of you talk it through and work things out?" she asked as her eyes scanned over you with concern. You hadn't told Pepper exactly what had happened between the two of you but you figured that she had glimpsed enough to piece enough of the picture together. You nervously twirled Steve's ring around your finger from where you had yet to remove it. Subconsciously reminding yourself of the betrayal you were committing everytime you so much as thought about Bucky. "What if Sam is right?" you admit your fear quietly to your friend and the only remaining family that you had left. "What if I am to blame for how everything has turned out. It's my fault that Steve left...that he lost his best friend after everything they had been through. I was with Steve for eleven years Pep. Eleven years and he is barely out of my life and suddenly I'm moving on like it's nothing...and not with just anyone...with Bucky." You gnaw nervously at your bottom lip as you continue, "Besides...maybe he's changed his mind. Maybe he regrets what happened between us. It's been weeks since he last reached out...not that I blame him...but maybe it's for the best." Pepper pries your hands apart and gives you a stern, motherly look. "(Y/N) Stark, you listen to me. You can't put so much weight into what Sam said when he was upset. Steve was his friend too and he was hurting. I'm sure he said some things that he regrets. And as for Bucky...it has been six months since Steve made his choice. Steve left you. No matter how you look at it, Steve is the one who made the decision to walk away from your relationship. You have to stop beating yourself up over a decision that wasn't yours." She wipes gently at the tears that you don't realize are rolling down your face. "You deserve to be happy honey. No one expects you to pine over Steve and what could have been. Just...try?" you nod and embrace her, grateful for everything.
"Mrs. Stark, Ms. Stark...there is something you may want to see," FRIDAY announces as she pulls up an image of a live newscast that is announcing a new Captain America. "What the fuck?" you breathe out in shock when a man you have never seen before takes center stage, hefting up Steve's shield that he had passed on to Sam. Ready or not, the decision to get off your ass and stop hiding had just been made for you. You barely think about your actions when you lift your phone to your ear, waiting for an answer. "(Y/N)," he greets as if he had been waiting for your call. "Hey Rhodey, I need a favor."
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"I can't believe you kept this here," you say with a little wonder as you pull on your stealth suit that reminded you so much of the bodysuit Nat always wore. "You know how sentimental Tony was," Pepper says with a sad smile that you return as you belt your weapons and equipment into place, feeling a strange sense of comfort at their familiarity and weight. You look at your reflection in the mirror and take a shaky breath, the last time you had suited up, your life had been in a completely different place. You had been preparing to get half of the universe back and everyone you loved was still alive and there. As they had frequently over the past few months, your eyes snagged on Steve's ring but this time, you closed your eyes and did what you should have done months ago. It felt strange, twisting the ring off of your finger, a mixture of relief and heartbreak. When you open your tear blurred eyes, you aren't surprised to see Pepper standing next to you, ready to offer her support. "Will you...will you keep this safe for me?" you ask in a wavering tone as you drop the ring into her outstretched palm, knowing that one day, when the hurt doesn't feel so fresh, you may want it again as a happy token of your first true love. "Of course," Pepper says with warm understanding before you take your leave.
You waste no time boarding a small plane to D.C. that Rhodey had set up for you. You wanted desperately to see Bucky and work things out with him but you had decided to face Sam first. You couldn't believe that he had given up the shield that Steve had passed on to him. You were even angrier that the government was trying to pass off some second rate soldier as a new Captain America. Sam had accused you of moving on a disregarding Steve when he had done the same damn thing and your anger was your main motivating factor as you landed at the Air Force base Rhodey had told you he would be at. You scanned the personnel, looking for Sam when you spotted another familiar face. "Torres," you shout cheerfully as he spots you and runs up to embrace you, twirling you around before setting you back on your feet. "(Y/N), what are you doing here?" he greets you with a bright smile. You had known the man for years and had always gotten along well with him. "I'm here for Wilson." His smile takes on a mischievous edge that thrills you as he leans forward in a conspiratorial manner, lowering his voice, "I probably shouldn't tell you this, but we're about to take off on a mission...you wanna tag along for the ride?"
You are sitting aboard the cargo plane, planning out every spiteful thing that you want to say to him when Sam walks in but your anger falters and your mind goes completely blank when you realize that he isn't alone. Sam has an irritated expression on his face as a haughty Bucky marches in close on his heels, his expression growing more frustrated when he sees you. "Seriously? What the hell are you doing here (Y/N)?" he huffs and for just a brief moment, Bucky's eyes flick to you and widen in surprise before they take on an icy expression, his face closing off as he looks away. "Why the hell did you give up Steve's shield?" you throw back at him, although the indignant anger you felt before seems hollow now as your eyes stay glued to Bucky. He looks...good. His hair is shorter now, reminding you of older pictures that you had seen of him. His blue eyes, hard with anger, are looking at anything but you as his chiseled jaw clenches and unclenches, from nervousness or anger you can't quite tell. You knew that you had missed him during your time apart but you didn't realize just how much until you suddenly found yourself fighting down the urge to run to him, to throw your arms around him, to beg for his forgiveness and confess every single thought that has run through your mind for the past two months, to kiss him and - "Did the two of you plan this shit?" Sam's response breaks through your longing thoughts and Bucky barks a humorless laugh that drains any hopeful feelings from you. Bucky shakes his head but continues to avoid your gaze, "I haven't talked to her in months. This is just your bad decision catching up with you," he says with a hard edge in his voice that makes your heart falter. "I don't have time for this right now," Sam sighs heavily as he rubs at his temples in frustration. "I've got a mission so you two need to go." At this, you straighten yourself slightly, "actually, I'm coming along too," you announce as Torres barks a laugh from his seat that makes Sam glare. "Like hell you are, just because Torres let you on this aircraft, something he shouldn't have done by the way," he raises his voice pointedly, "doesn't mean you have the clearance to go on this mission." You shoot him a wicked smile that only makes him scowl harder, "no," you concede, "but calling in a favor from James Rhodes and having myself specifically signed on as a consultant for this mission does." If looks could kill, you would be doubly dead from the withering glares that both Sam and Bucky give you. "I don't have time for this shit," Sam whines again and then pouts when it becomes evident that he will not be able to shake you or Bucky anytime soon.
The flight is almost painfully quiet with you can Torres occasionally trading comments. The tension so thick between you, Bucky and Sam that you could cut through it with one of your knives. "One minute til drop off," Torres calls out in a tone that is far too cheerful for the situation at hand. "So what's our plan?" Bucky finally asks and grumbles when no plan is presented. "Enjoy your ride Buck," Sam sneers as he prepares to jump. "No, you don't get to call me that," Bucky snaps. "And why not?" That's what Steve used to call you," Sam responds, looking at you as if to drive the point home. "Steve knew me longer and Steve had a plan," is all Bucky says back, pointedly ignoring you. Sam rolls his eyes before pulling his goggles down, "I have a plan," he calls out before jumping out of the plane. Bucky grumbles and quickly stands, tearing the sleeve off of his jacket to free up his metal arm before following Sam without so much as looking at you. You let out a heavy sigh before moving to press a quick, friendly kiss to Torres' cheek. "Thanks for the ride," you call out before pressing an invisible emblem on your suit that releases excess material, that allows you to glide on wind currents and jumping out of the plane and gently drifting to the ground next to where Bucky is laying flat on his back taking a vicious swing at Redwing.
"Are you okay?" you ask in concern as Bucky stands up, groaning slightly at the movement. However, your worry quickly dissolves into annoyance when he refuses to acknowledge you, and begins trekking towards the abandoned factory where the Flag Smashers are supposedly hiding out. "Bucky wait," you reach out, placing a gentle hand on his elbow that he is quick to yank out of your grasp. "I'm done waiting (Y/N)," he spits out in a bitter tone, refusing to slow his stride, "I waited for two months." You flinch at his words, "Bucky, I-" he cuts you off before you can say more. "Save it, we have a mission and I can't be distracted," he snaps and you obey, staying silent even as you gaze longingly at his stiff back. You try your best to ignore the aching in your chest as the two of you make your way to the factory and meet up with Sam, knowing you have noone to blame for this predicament other than yourself. You try to shove aside the guilt and worry that is rising within you as the two men bicker and the three of you begin following the trucks that the rebel group is using, Bucky breaking into one of them to save a potential hostage that Redwing detects. "Here," Sam says reluctantly as he thrusts an earpiece at you and you quickly shove it into your ear, listening intently as Bucky tries to soothingly speak to whoever is in the truck. You can't hold back your scream or the wave of terror that engulfs you when he lets out a grunt of pained surprise and you suddenly see him fly like a rag doll from the back of the truck and straight into the windshield of another.
Your panic flares when a group of Flag Smashers appear atop the vehicle, dragging Bucky into their midsts as you and Sam scramble to reach him. You grab one of the men who has ahold of Bucky, screaming threats as you use your training to pitch him off of the moving vehicle, not even sparing him a second glance as you move on to the next offender. A loud, vibrating thump sounds behind you and you turn to face the new Captain America and his sidekick, smiling like utter morons as they too enter the fray. You have no time to concern yourself with the newcomers as Bucky launches himself across to the other truck, chasing the female who appears to be their leader. Another scream wrenches itself from your throat as he slides down the side of the truck, appearing to get dragged along the highway as he struggles to maintain his hold on the vehicle. You prepare to jump between the vehicles to save him when you get tackled by one of the rebels, rolling along the top of the truck as you fight desperately to free yourself long enough to save Bucky. Luckily Sam manages to grab him and the two of them go tumbling into a nearby field just as you manage to kick your assailant square in the chest and send him flying off the roof. You are scrambling to your feet just as you see the imposter Cap get launched off the truck by the remaining rebels, leaving just you and his sidekick against the four that remain. Knowing that you don't stand a chance, the man grabs ahold of you before you can protest and throws the two of you off the truck, his arms protecting you as the two of you go tumbling roughly across the ground.
"Thank you," you groan slightly as you struggle to your feet, every inch of you feeling battered and bruised but none the worse for wear otherwise. "You're welcome...the name is Lamar by the way," he says holding out a hand that you grasp for a quick shake. "(Y/N) Stark," you say by way of introduction. "Trust me, I know who you are," he chuckles just as his partner swaggers up to you. "I'm Captain America," he says holding out his hand that you only regard with contempt. "You can fuck off," you spat as you shove past him roughly and hurry back in the direction that Sam and Bucky had landed, keeping an eye out for any of the stray rebels that had been tossed from the vehicles but not seeing any signs of them. It doesn't take long for you to meet the two men who are hobbling in your direction, clearly a little beat up from their ordeal. You throw all caution to the wind as you sprint towards Bucky, frantically running your hands over him once you reach him, searching for any injuries. "Are you okay?" you gasp out, the sound of your heart thundering in your ears as it beats double-time in a mix of adrenaline and fear. Whatever look graces your face must touch something within the super soldier because for the first time since reuniting, he pauses and takes your face in his hands, his own face softening fractionally as he lowers his face to gaze into your eyes. "(Y/N), breathe. I'm fine," he says in a firm yet soothing voice as you take a few steadying breaths. "I'm fine too. Not that anyone's asking," Sam grumbles.
Bucky quickly steps away from you, resuming his hard demeanor just as Lamar and the new Cap pull up next to you in an Army jeep. After a brief exchange, the three of you reluctantly climb into the vehicle and head towards the airport. "So what? Did they send Captain America and his lackeys to track me down?" Sam asks in annoyance cutting through whatever inane chatter the imposter Steve is spewing. "It's not exactly hard to do when we just follow the suit," he shoots back, throwing the three of you a cocky grin. "You hacked my tech?" Sam asks in disbelief as Lamar shakes his head. "Technically, that suit is government property. We were just sent to see what it was being used for." Sam scoffs in frustration as he eyes Lamar suspiciously. "This was a sanctioned mission...and besides who are you?" Lamar at least has the decency to try and remedy the tension that is very present between your group. "I'm Lamar Hoskins and John Walker," he says by way of introduction. "I'm going to need more than that," Sam shoots back. "Captain America and Battlestar?" he tries again and Bucky releases an unamused snort at the pretension. "Look, the truth is you need us and we could probably benefit from working together," John cuts in fixing you with a smile that sends unpleasant shivers down your spine. "The Avengers are through and you are not Captain America," Bucky snarls, drawing John's attention to himself, "shield or no shield." Disregarding Bucky completely, John turns his attention back to you, "What do you think beautiful? What does America's Sweetheart say to joining forces with your former lover's predecessor?"
Your stomach turns as he uses the nickname that the media had coined for you when your relationship with Steve had first went public. Outside of the former Avengers members, no one knew the truth about what had really happened to Steve since the public couldn't be made aware about the realities of time travel, so it had been fabricated that Steve had perished in the final battle alongside Tony and Nat. Somehow that knowledge just made his comment the more appalling. "I say you can go shove that fucking shield up your ass sideways," you snarl, picturing yourself tearing him apart with your bare hands for his audacity. You almost think that you can hear a hum of approval from Bucky as he calls for the truck to stop and the two of you and Sam get out, more than ready to put as much distance between the preening asshole and yourselves as you possibly can. The three of you make it to the airport in silence before you finally turn to face Bucky. "I'm going home," you tell him pointedly. "I know that the two of you probably have other things to take care of...but I'm going home and I'll be there when you return. I'll be waiting for you," his eyes search yours for a long moment but his face betrays nothing as he finally drops his gaze with a simple nod. "Be careful...both of you," you say as you take your leave.
A feeling of relief washes over you as you step foot inside of your apartment, the feeling that you associate with coming home. The place looks almost exactly like how you left it, your room completely untouched and only a few signs of daily living that Bucky has left behind him, his shoes kicked haphazardly next to the door, a jacket thrown across the back of the couch, dishes piled in the sink. You smile at the little things as you go to shower and change. A few days pass with no word for either Sam or Bucky and your nerves are starting to wear thin with worry. You worry about what they could have gotten themselves into and more so, you worry that Bucky won't return now that you back. You almost feel a sense of relief when you finally receive a phone call, Sam's name flashing across the screen that you fumble to answer. "Hey...hello...Sam? Is everything okay? Where are you guys?" your words tumble out of you in a quick garble. "We're okay...um...well," your stomach drops at Sam's tone. "We're in Baltimore but Bucky's been arrested."