I, by any means, had no intentions of spending the night on Harry's couch while he slept on the floor. But when I woke up, I was utterly confused to smell coconuts and mint on the warm gray blanket. I quickly pulled my face away from it and remind myself that Harry had been sick for the last two days and basically cocooned up in it. I'm surprised I'm not feeling a stuffy nose coming but I'll give it a few more hours.
I moan groggily as I sit up and stretch my hands in a V shape over my head, feeling the satisfying crack of my elbows before letting them fall and my shoulders slump into my lap. Harry is still asleep on the floor and I instantly feel my heart twang in guilt when I see that he's in a fetal position and practically shivering since he's cover-less. I'd been hogging the cover from him.
The blanket is dropped back over his body and I stand to my feet, grabbing my phone from the coffee table and checking the time to see that it's six am. The sun hasn't broken out through the clouds yet, but the sky is lightening so It's coming.
China had texted me last night, but the messages mostly consisted of her teasing me about getting dick from Harry and asking if I'm spending the night. I'm guessing she took my lack of a response as a yes since she sent an eggplant emoji with the thumbs up.
Giving Harry one more look, I lean down and ruffle his hair, which was now frizzy and soft from lack of attention. He shows no sign of waking up, his body being completely stiff as face into a hard frown.
I've never known him to look so frigid in his sleep, but I think nothing of it as I stand back up and make my way to his bathroom to do my business, feeling content with the night. I didn't care how I got to spend time with him, only that I got to do it. I loved taking care of him and I hope he saw that. Should I wake him before I leave? No, I don't want to interrupt him. Sleep is the best medicine.
Maybe I should make him some hot chocolate so when he gets up he can have something warm to drink?
No, it'll be cold.
I hate that I'm overthinking it so I exit the bathroom and take down my half-done braids, letting my hair fall over my shoulders as I shake the waves out. Harry is still on the floor, so I whisper a simple goodbye that I know he doesn't hear and walk out of his front door. The sun was now fully rising and I'm glad. I haven't had any experience driving in the dark.
Today will be a good day. I think to myself as I unlock my car door and grin to myself. Being near Harry puts me in a good mood. Now, I have an excuse to come back. I can just check on him again today. Or maybe tomorrow. He did say he lost his phone so I don't want to wait for a text. I think he'll look for me to call me back. He'll want to.
Right?
What if I only annoyed him yesterday? Pushed him and made him feel like he had to accept my helped to get me to leave him alone?
Oh god, the butterflies I just had were now turning into violent moths. Surely, he would have told me. He's never been shy about telling me I'm irritating him.
I finish the drive to the apartment and by then, I've convinced myself that I'm looking too deep into it. I'll see him tomorrow just to check on him and we will go from there.
I step out of the car and jog into the apartment lobby, quickly greeting the leasing agents and making my way to the elevator. A family of three rushes out and I give them a casual smile and nod as I go in and press the button to get to our floor, my hands carrying the dry groceries I was never able to bring home yesterday.
Home.
It feels so weird for my home to be a small apartment shared with a close friend but I can't say I hate it.
I get to our hall and use the keys on my lanyard to bend down and swiftly unlock the door, pushing it open only to stumble back when my eyes widen in shock and I let out the loudest, "What the fuck," I've ever done.
Our living room is furniture-less, so I have a clear view of Ramon's tanned ass cheeks as he yanks himself out of China, who lies on her back on the floor and rolls over to set up on his butt, covering his penis with the blanket and exposing China in the process. She yells at him and grabs the cover back to cover her boobs as her legs squeeze together to hide her vagina and all I can do is gawk.
What the fuck.
I quickly back out of the doorway, my brows coming together confusedly as I slam the front door shut. I hear them hissing at each other, Ramon scolding her for lying to him about me being gone for the night. Is that why she asked me? Is this what she's been doing? Sneaking around and seeing Ramon? God, behind Amanda's back?
You know what? I can't bring myself to give a shit if he's cheating on her.
The look of fear on CHina's face along with her tits is something that will always be engraved in my mind, against my will. I never wanna see it again. I've seen Ramon's body before and it isn't something to remember. I'm mostly shocked that of all places they decided to fuck on our living floor. Well, then again, neither of us have beds, so I get it.
China yells for me to come in, her voice cracking and I open the door slowly, shaking my head as I look at them uneasily. Ramon has sloppily dressed with his joggers up his legs but he's still shirtless, and China has her sports bra on with a pair of night shorts. They stand like two teens who'd just got caught in each other's room and I cross my arms over my chest, folding my lips in my mouth as I hide a grin. She notices and scoffs, annoyed that I'm finding humor in her embarrassment.
"I didn't know you were going to be home, I thought you were out with your boyfriend!" She explains seriously with a whine.
"He's not my boyfriend, and I mean yeah, but...Ramon?" I whisper his name and squint at her, poking out my neck and ignoring the way his face contorts to offending features.
"What do you mean Ramon," He puts quotations around his name. "What's wrong with me?"
I give him a blank look, is he seriously asking that?
"What isn't wrong with you, actually," I turn to China, "I thought we weren't talking to him. How long has this been going on." I wiggle my finger between them and Ramon looks at her, his eyes widening towards me as she gulps nervously.
Oh, god.
"Um, just... I mean, is that important?"
"Yes!"
"Ugh! Fine, since the day in the cafeteria. He found me in the library and apologized and said that-"
Ramon cuts her off, "Amanda wouldn't let me break up with her until we were back from break. So I tried to hat morning, but she still wouldn't. It's not easy giving up R-Dog."
I roll my eyes at his cockiness, glancing down at his crotch where the wetness on the tip of his dick has made a dark spot in his joggers. I look at China, raising a brow, "We should have a talk about...this. From now on, no sex in the living area."
"Okay, fair, and we have to be open about our schedules." She adds, I nod, agreeing with her. I can imagine how confusing it'll get when we don't know when each other will be home. Especially in moments like this. "Also, chores? I know it's not really much to mess but my mom said-"
"Can we not talk about your mom, I got a boner!"
"Shut up Ramon."China and I say in unison, making his face drop into a frown.
"I agree," I start, glaring at Ramon before walking to the kitchen and putting the groceries on the countertop. "We have our own rooms and bathrooms so I guess the main thing is the kitchen and living area. Which one do you want?"
"I'll take the kitchen." She says, and I'm glad because I absolutely despise dishes. I agree to take the living room and Ramon asks me if I mind, while gesturing to China, who smacks at his bare chest.
I shake my head and go into my room, thankful that China had folded it in the corner instead of including it in her and Ramon's activities. My first class is in a few hours so I'll shower when I get up and head over. Until then, I want to rest.
-----
Harry sent me a text while I was asleep that morning. Short and simple, thanking me for yesterday. I responded as soon as I saw it, reminding him that it was no problem and it's the least I could do.
When I woke back up, China was asleep in her room, but Ramon had gone. I know she doesn't have classes on Tuesdays, and I only have my law program to tend to.
I shower and leave my hair down my shoulders, using a vent brush to brush it out and smoothing it down with some hair product before getting dressed. Since I don't have many clothes, I settled on a pair of burgundy joggers and an all-black fitted crop top with my combat boots. It was an interesting fit in the least but my options were limited.
The program itself is just a Co-Ed course in the school building taught by a 56-year-old prosecutor named Jeffery. A nice man with dark skin and salt and pepper hair and a full beard. I felt a wave of confidence knowing that my finals were this Thursday and Friday for all of my classes. But more so for the program. Harry did a great job at teaching me and I can't wait for all of our hard work to show when I ace my test.
After the program, I grab some fries and a sweet tea from Cook Out and head over to the old house, where I know Miranda is getting ready to leave with Chris today. SHe'd texted me that he and Cameron left for a Panera Bread run (which doesn't shock me) so I make it my business to go over while they're out and spend a few minutes with her. She hasn't seen our apartment and I can't wait for her to.
The place looks different. All the floors are polished and the carpet has been steamed to perfection. Miranda snaps at me to not step on it and it and I would take it personally, but Ellen wanted me what pregnancy would be like, so I laughed it off and made a mental note to stay on the hardwood in the dining area.
The dining was also cleaned and a new table was replaced but I was told it was just for show and that Ellen is taking it back with her to York, along with the other major furniture like the couch. She was generous enough to leave Miranda her recliner though.
I sit at the faux table as Miranda hands me a bottle of water and I open it to take a sip. It was on the warmer side today.
"How's your place, Mija?" SHe asks, running her hand up and down her stomach. She didn't look pregnant, only bigger if that makes sense. Even her nose seemed wider than usual.
"It's good, fun. I'm having a hard time buying groceries so China said she and her mom will." I tell her about our conversation earlier today over the phone when she woke up and asked 'what the fuck is this?' about the groceries I'd bought.
Miranda laughs and I smile at the noise, taking a sip of the liquid. We chat a few moments longer and the inevitable topic of the divorce comes up and she tells me that Ellen had drawn the papers a week ago but for some reason, she'd be hesitant to sign them.
"It just feels like it solidifies everything, you know?" She sighs. I understand her, but at the end of the day, she made the decision to cheat and have a baby with her boss. She can't blame Ellen for wanting to run away as soon as possible.
"I understand," I reply instead.
Miranda gives me a weak smile and a silent apology, to which I shake my head, "So," I change the subject, You and Chris are getting married, you said yes?"
Her eyes widen and her head shakes as if saying, that's a whole other story.
"I told him I wanted to wait, that man is something else. But I love him."
I cringe every time she says that.
"Anyway, my baby shower slash gender reveal is coming up," SHe pops her lips and I nod with raised brows.
"Really? When?"
"It's this Sunday, actually. It's pretty last minute but I have a lot of friends from work who'd like to come so we're going to do it at Chris' place. He even booked this Mariachi band to play."
I nearly gasp at the casual mention and can't help but ask, "Why?"
She shrugs, "She thought it would comfort me."
"Mama you don't even listen to Mexican music, oh my god." How can she not see how huge of a red flag this is?
"It's the thought that counts, Mija," She says, before pointing her chin at me, "So are you coming? Your mom said she'd come to show support and all."
I'm surprised.
"Sure."
"And bring Harry too," She says as she stands to her feet, and I laugh at the way she'd tried to throw the request in.
"I'll ask if he is available," I reword and she laughs.
Of course, he is available.
He seemed hesitant at first and I kept assuring him that he didn't have to come if it was weird for him, especially with what happened last night, but he insisted. His voice sounded a little better but it was still raw as we spoke over the phone. I was happy to hear his voice until he said the words that literally nobody likes to hear.
I need to talk to you.
I tried to push him to tell me whatever it was he had to tell me now, but he said to wait until the baby shower because he was doing some work; which I thought was a lie. But now, I had no choice but to wait until this weekend, and the constant feeling of my insides wrenching together.
There's something about those words that can send anyone into a fit of panic, and I was most definitely that person. I didn't see Harry that day, and on Wednesday, whenever I tried to call him, he'd send me to voicemail and make up an excuse as to why he couldn't talk on the phone.
I told China what he'd said because I couldn't deal with thinking about it on my own any longer. She noticed how skittish I was around my phone and how I played with my hair a lot more than usual. Her advice was "it's probably nothing," But I couldn't bring myself to believe that. How could it be nothing if he made a point to hold off telling me?
Ramon, who also sat on our living floor- completely uninvited by the way- agreed with her. He still doesn't know I'm talking about Harry, only, "my boyfriend" as China puts it. She knows Harry is Audrey's stepbrother so I thank her every time she conveniently leaves out that piece of information when talking to Ramon.
"He's a dude," Ramon began, "He just wants you to miss him while he ghosts you for a few days, keep your mind on him."
I don't know where to begin when I think to tell him how incredibly manipulative that is, and that Harry isn't capable of it, but the thought still lingers. Is he really just playing me? Or is he going to tell me what I really don't wanna hear? That we can't see each other anymore.
Whilst China and Ramon argue over who's interpretation of Harry's words was right, I twiddle my hair in my index finger and stare blankly at the floor, feeling my chest shatter at the possibility of him basically breaking up with me.
Walking into my finals with that anxious pit in my stomach had left me a lot less confident than I was two days ago. My algebra final wasn't really hard because I'd already taken Algebra in high school and I'm fairly good at math. Anthro, however, was a branch (not a stick) in my ass that left me practically crying as I know for a fact I probably failed it. For creative writing, I had to write an essay on minimum wage, and now, I was in the gym with fifty other students sitting at desks in long rows as they sat quietly and listened to the proctor's instructions. This was only the first part of the final, the second being tomorrow.
All I could do was clear my mind of Harry as much as possible and focus...on what he taught me.
Jesus Christ.
Happy holidays again? What are your plans for this month? I'm have a Christmas sleepover at my grandmas because my brother is coming back from being stationed in Japan and we're all supperrrrr excited!!! What abt you?