Story by: @fluffysugarsock
Author of:
"An Impossible Romance",
"A Dream Of You",
"My Villain",
"Each Note",
"Pretend Love",
"Plutocratic",
"Where The Moon Meets The Sun"
Title of the story: "Undying"
Song: "My Heart Will Go On (Mandarin Version)"
Tianya Haijiao
The end of the sky and ocean.
A place of exile for officials who found themselves out of favor.
A place that Wang He Di, venerated General of the Emperor, has sought despite commanding the highest esteem amongst his peers because of news he has waited years to hear.
The blue of the sea awed him, a central plainer, but it brought him no peace.
His heart has been thundering in his chest since a week ago.
"General Shen has been found."
***
Mistress Wang has always worried for her son.
One would think that as the wife of the Prime Minister (who also was once a General active in campaigns for the Empire), she would have gotten used to the stress of having the men in her life be always in the line of fire.
But she's a flower that was preciously looked after by her family.
Before marriage, the most she has seen of blood is when she or any of her handmaids would be pricked by a needle during embroidery. Wars happened in the borders of the Empire.
They have never touched the capital throughout her life.
Her Father was a scholar and her Mother was the same as her - the daughter of a high-ranking official.
Her husband has never begrudged her secluded and pampered upbringing, but she knows that a lot of the Wang Family's retainers initially looked down on her.
Some of them still do.
But her husband's devotion to her has somehow kept intact the same mentality her parents raised her with.
And this had led to her mollycoddling her son to a fault.
Even now, when he is safe in the Capital, and only overlooking affairs of the Forbidden City's security, she constantly worried for him.
"How could you forget about eating?"
"Mother, I promise you, from today onwards I shall not forget it", He Di looked at her with utmost sincerity, even putting his right hand against his heart as he said it.
"You've told me the same thing last time."
Her son smiled sheepishly, and she pushed the plate of pork buns closer to him, sipping tea as she pretended to still be a little vexed with him.
He Di immediately ate the pork buns, continuing to smile at her and expressing how no one can really compare to his mother's cooking - not even the Imperial Palace's kitchen can produce dishes such as these.
"Eat more instead of acting coy with me. You are so much like your father! How can you not even spare a moment's thought for this old woman's nerves when she hears that you keep skipping meals?"
He may be thirty now but as long as she is alive, she will treat him like a ten-year old in the dining table.
"You do not look old at all, Mother. You can still best any of the women they list on the Top Ten Beauties of the Empire."
If only she could prolong moments like this with him, she would.
He Di has become so battle-hardened that seeing him act like a child in front of her relieves her so much.
It almost makes her NOT want to say the next thing she has planned on saying to him because she knows that his smile will be replaced by the seriousness, he has become known for all throughput the empire.
Ice General Wang He Di - harbinger of tragedy, the scourge of Bao Yanluo, the god of Hell.
She once saw him with that mask on herself and she quivered the most out of anyone who was with her.
Despite knowing this AND no matter his dedication to her, her husband told her that he would not be the one to talk to He Di about marriage.
After what happened five years ago, this is not surprising at all.
For three years, even SHE made no mention of marriage to him.
But five years is quite a long time.
And she wants to see him taken cared of. She wants to see him have his own family.
Her love for him makes her fearless at this very moment.
"Have you met Minister Gu's Second daughter?"
He Di raised a brow at this as he finished his bowl of rice. "Hmmmm."
"Oh you have!"
That makes this easier.
Her son drank a glass of water before answering. "She introduced herself to me before. We met one another when I was patrolling."
Mistress Wang did her best to keep her face neutral even though her son's answer caused a thousand fireworks to explode inside her head.
Women who find ways to introduce themselves to He Di lose their chances to be with him instantaneously.
If he did not talk to his Mother about them, it means he does not have any interest at all whatsoever.
Throughout the years, there has only been one woman he has spoken in the same breath he would speak of her.
A woman who she believes she should have treated better.
"She gave me a beautiful handkerchief that I would like to show you", Mistress Wang ended - her plans of introducing the young lady disappearing in a puff of smoke.
"It must be really beautiful for you to want me to see it, Mother. You've always had such a discerning eye."
She nodded and pushed the conversation to something else instead. "I heard that your cousin, Xi Ze, has arrived."
"He has. We'll be meeting for dinner later, but I believe he might call on you and Father this afternoon."
"He truly is as filial as you", she smiled, "The both of you are such perfect gentlemen, if only you would both get married soon enough."
She almost bit her lip at her slip of the tongue.
She immediately looked at her son, expecting his face to darken at the mention of the word "marriage".
He, however, for the first time in a long while, shrugged it off. His face as amiable as the time he sat down the table with her.
"You and my Aunt have been patient with us, thus far. We really appreciate it."
She did not want to cause any more ripples in his seemingly serene face. "And we shall continue to be patient."
He Di squeezed her hand, a gesture he hasn't done in a long time. "Thank you, Mother."
***
"Everyone keeps saying my face looks thinner."
General Wu Xi Ze, arrived at the Wang Manor looking as extravagant as always, causing a few maidens who saw him on his horseback feign fainting spells, claiming such god-like handsomeness has once again descended the Imperial city.
"It does seem like you've been living off poorly these past months", He Di agreed with him as they walked back from Wang Manor Hall after his cousin's greeting of his parents.
"I lived off rabbits and radishes so as soon as I arrived, I devoured the suckling pig my mother prepared for me."
"Had difficulty hunting?"
"No. I was too good in hunting, the village I ended up in almost threw me out because I was making off with most of the big animals. I had to adjust my eating habits so I could stay longer."
The two of them have been exchanging posts since their return five years ago. One would stay to lead the guards of the Imperial City while the other would go on missions for the Emperor.
They spend half a year in the city and the other half out of it. It is a very lucky happenstance when the two of them get to stay long at the same area at the same time.
After walking pass the Wang Manor's Lotus Garden and West Lake, they entered He Di's residence.
A simple banquet table has been prepared for the both of them in the pavilion overlooking the lake.
Mistress Wang truly outdoes herself every time.
Xi Ze is grateful to be taken cared of by such an aunt.
"You've been abnormally quiet", He Di finally pointed out.
Normally, he would be talking about the results of his mission as soon as they see each other. And the walk to his cousin's residence takes around twenty minutes, with them passing through the widest open space that one can easily see anyone who might try to listen in or spy on them.
Hence, no one dared.
But, this time, the other man kept mum.
Xi Ze looked at him with eyes that shone like crystals, implying that he finally has news that needs the perfect timing to be shared.
He Di has been waiting for this news for five years.
He is elated AND very anxious about how Wang He Di will accept this news.
Xi Ze has been beside himself ever since.
He took a deep breath.
"General Shen has been found."
To say that a whole constellation of expressions passed his cousin's eyes after his statement would not be an understatement.
Wang He Di transitioned from surprise, disbelief, caution, hope, and finally happiness in a span of seconds.
"Where is she???"
Xi Ze grabbed hold of his right hand and gripped his shoulder in an effort to calm him down.
"I will tell you, but, He Di, you must listen to me and listen to me well."
That shine of happiness immediately turned to concern.
"Is she...", the greatest general the empire has ever seen felt powerless and helpless as he tried to utter words he has never accepted about her, "Is she... dead?"
"She is alive, but, He Di, she has lost all of her memory."
How could she lose all of her memory? Her? A hero almost fabled to be blessed by the gods. How could -
"She does not remember me and... she does not remember you. She remembers nothing."
***
Every night in my dreams
I see you
I feel you
My own heart's still aching for you
***
Thirteen Years Ago... it all began with hate.
"He isn't a baby, Captain."
"I know he isn't."
"Stop treating him like one, then."
"I'm not babying him."
"Sure, you're not. You're just giving him half of your meal and spending time training him almost everyday like HE'S A BABY."
"Ling He, I didn't know you could complain like a wife."
"You would only be so lucky if I was your wife, Shen Yue."
"You would be lucky if I was your husband."
A very loud groan of frustration and the flapping sound of a tent opening made He Di immediately turn away from the tent's entrance and hide on the side, crouching as low as his frame could allow him, so as to not give away that he heard everything.
"Ling He!!!", Captain Shen Yue called and then laughed aloud as her second in command stomped away.
Vice-Captain Zhang Ling He has always been the stricter one between their leaders and even though he protected He Di from the bullying of other platoons, he scolds him far worse than anyone else does when it's only the two of them.
Hearing him air out his frustrations with their Captain is quite typical of him, BUT also feels like a pail of ice-cold water dumped on Wang He Di's head.
Captain Shen giving him a treatment more special than his brothers???
He had not noticed he was getting more portions of food compared to everyone else because the Captain insists on having him dine by her side every time.
But He Di has often thought of this as her way of bullying him because she always orders him to finish his meals immediately so she can start ordering him about.
Clean her boots, dry her training clothes, wipe away the blood from her blades - akin to what most of the servants in his household would do.
And every time he ate with her, she would make him finish everything on his plate no matter how unpalatable it was.
Also, he most certainly did not see these everyday trainings as her giving him favor.
During the first month of training under her, his legs often gave out as soon as he saw his bed that his brothers had decided he should have the bunk closest to their tent's entrance so he wouldn't have to trudge around in his dirty overalls, muddying up the floor.
He sometimes wouldn't wash his face and even now, he often wakes up cursing Her and His Father (who decided that his son would not get preferential treatment under his army and will join the platoon of former mercenaries led by the infamous Captain Shen Yue).
HOW IS THAT BABYING HIM???????????
"Wang He Di, if you're going to eavesdrop and hide afterwards, do it better. You were so loud, Ling He could have just thrown a knife at you from inside."
He looked up to see the woman everyone calls, "The Little Terror".
"I - I wasn't hiding, Captain."
"Real bad liar too." She dropped her sword in front of him and told him to pick it up and follow her. "Since I'm already being accused of babying you, let's baby you some more."
Training that afternoon made him crawl for three days.
He Di wanted to bash his Vice-Captain's head for even thinking he was being "babied" because WHAT PART OF THIS DEMONIC TRAINING COULD EQUATE TO BEING BABIED?????
***
Spoiled rotten by his Mother, He Di has never experienced being treated in the manner his Captain treated him.
Yet his pride could not bear the thought of quitting.
Specially knowing that amongst his brothers, he is the only one born with a golden spoon and continues to still be with a complete and loving family.
Hong is deaf in one ear and was orphaned at the age of five.
Yao watched his family be murdered in front of his very eyes.
Xuan is the only survivor of his burned village, and only because he fought with his mother and decided to run away one night.
Qi Xing has a blade for his left hand because he lost his left hand protecting his sister from an enemy raid.
He often reminds himself that whatever he is going through now is NOTHING compared to what everyone has gone through.
Add to that, his brothers look out for him so much that the first time he collapsed after training, they took part in all his tasks the next day and wanted to do it the next day too despite being punished severely for it.
"No one is to help him", Captain Yue announced before giving each one of them ten lashings.
That made He Di grit his teeth in anger and stand from his bed, enduring the shaking in his legs and continue with the day.
That anger in him has been propelling him ever since and two months into this campaign and him turning seventeen years old the very next day, he just didn't have any expectations.
No one knows of his birthday amongst his brothers.
He forbade his mother to send him anything ostentatious or really... anything at all.
He had plans to spend his birthday like any other normal day in the camp so when he felt his feet being pulled around midnight and he was immediately told to get dressed and act as quietly as possible, he did not have two minds about it nor any thoughts other than there might be enemies who infiltrated camp.
He followed his brothers as they headed for the mountains.
He looked around wondering whether the enemies could have hidden until he realized they had reached a clearing and there sat their Captain and Vice-Captain along with his cousin, Wu Xi Ze.
They lit up lamps and everyone greeted him "Happy Birthday!", showing off a feast and around two barrels of liquor.
"I told Captain Yue and Vice-Captain Ling He about your birthday", Xi Ze said, "and we all agreed to prepare this."
Despite his frustrations. Despite his resentment. Despite all of the burdens he carried in his heart because he always felt like everyone looked down on him as a good-for-nothing because they all think that being General Wang's son gave him so many benefits, this simple act of pulling off a surprise to greet him on his seventeenth birthday had him teary-eyed.
He dared not speak, afraid that tears would fall.
He bowed to everyone, placing the fist of his right hand in the palm of his left and then bending as low as he could.
"Thank you", he declared as loudly as he could, almost no other noise could be heard until Hong lifted him up and all of his brothers playfully hugged him.
They headed for the table and both his Captain and Vice-Captain ruffled his hair, like a pet kitten, before pushing over cups of wine for him to drink.
"May your future be bright, DiDi."
He looked up from drinking his wine as he could not believe his ears. The wish was spoken so softly, the endearment after it softer.
Captain Shen Yue winked at him across the table and something in his heart full of hatred for her started to break apart.
***
Through all time and spaces
Come into my dreams now
Your own heart has never been changed
***
Years passed and their platoon made a name for itself because of how successful they were in missions.
Their Captain and Vice-Captain eventually became Generals and Wang He Di and his brothers were also given their own men to lead - winning battles one after another.
He had become a man worthy of the "Wang" surname and his parents could not be prouder.
He was celebrated, bestowed rewards and commendations, and invited to so many circles - some of them composed of the illustrious sons of the most prestigious families.
But, he held closest to his heart the time he was nothing more than a soldier - the youngest one in a band of former mercenaries and they treated him like their long-lost sibling.
And the one he treasured the most, out of all of them, was the woman who made his life a living hell.
Fierce, passionate, unafraid.
She trained him to be one of the best and he only appreciated that after defeating a staggering number of enemies and being able to save the lives of so many of his countrymen through his martial prowess.
His Father already held such high regard for her before she helped He Di and afterwards, that not only increased, she became one that the Emperor also trusted and revered.
No other woman in the Empire has been held in such esteem related to warfare.
"I should have been the one to visit you", he bowed to her as soon as they met each other.
She dropped by the Wang Estate after her return from a reconnaissance mission, having missed his ceremony.
"Nonsense", General Yue told him, smiling brightly, "There are no such formalities between us."
She bowed back to him and he felt a lump rise up his throat.
"Congratulations General Wang He Di!"
Her voice held both joy and admiration that it made He Di's heart quiver.
***
You, Me
We both can just see
That your love keeps on sailing through me
***
At twenty-five, his Father and Mother arranged for his engagement.
Caihong, daughter of General Zhao, is a celebrated beauty and a favorite of the Empress.
He Di has not had the chance to ever meet her and because he has been out on campaigns and missions since he was very young, he has not even seen her.
His Mother was all reassurances that she would be the perfect wife for him.
He has no doubt as to his mother's recommendation and from what everyone else is saying, he knows that she is truly a beautiful woman with a wonderful soul.
However, the heart is truly difficult to comprehend.
He found no happiness in this news.
Only anxiety.
"One would think you're heading off to your funeral rather than happily meeting your future wife", Xi Ze commented as they waited for their horses.
After having heard that He Di has not even seen his betrothed at all, his brothers (all high-ranking officials now) decided they would rent a room by a window in one of the most expensive establishments in the city and wait on the precious young lady, who is said to be travelling today from her grandfather's estate to her parents' home through an official litter.
While He Di could not find any excitement in this, but he agreed because other than catching a possible glimpse of his "future wife", he was more excited to see his friends - especially given that it is very rare for all of them to be in the Imperial City all at the same time.
"Maybe if I see her, it would be different."
Xi Ze clamped his shoulder good-naturedly, as though giving him encouragement.
"She truly is a sight to behold, I tell you. She'll take your breath away."
***
Clad in the most pristine white, her hair cascading down her shoulders, adorned by a silver hair piece, her lips red as blood, and her skin white as snow, it was another woman who took Wang He Di's breath away.
And he almost thought he conjured her up in his imagination too because he had never seen her look that way before.
Right beside the establishment they decided to "camp out of", General Shen came down a litter, assisted by the visiting envoy from Siam, looking like a goddess that he and his brothers had to pick their jaws up from the ground.
The Little Terror must have felt their eyes on her so she glanced up the window, where they all stood, their faces in varying degrees of shock.
She smirked at them and turned back to the envoy as they are welcomed into the restaurant.
He felt breath escape his lips as though it had been pulled out of him.
Her eyes and that smirk gave him a strike as effective as her swinging her sword and lunging for his heart.
"Was that General Shen???", a voice from the window beside theirs exclaimed.
Wang He Di looked around him and noticed that her arrival had caused pandemonium not only within the establishment he and his brothers were in but all over the whole street.
"Did you see that??? She looked like a goddess descended!"
"I've never seen anyone with a face as small as hers! It's almost just the size of my hand!"
"How did the emperor let her hide that beauty under armors???"
He felt his face reddening, thinking that no one should have been allowed to see her looking like an immortal deigning men with a vision.
Everyone would most surely dream of her and think about her and -
"Are you feeling unwell He Di?"
Qi Xing looked at him in concern and for the rest of the night, he wondered about the emotion that engulfed him... an emotion that took over him like a fire that consumes a house - building slowly until it roared for everyone to see.
He didn't answer Qi Xing and excused himself for a moment because he feared the answer to his brother's question.
He IS unwell.
His heart is galloping as though it is racing through hundreds of li to reach a mountain he also has to climb. His hands felt like heated iron. His eyes blurred. His throat parched. His mind going around in circles raising flags of distress.
All because of a pair of eyes that belonged to a "demon woman" clothed like a enchantress.
***
Flying without any wind
You let me have no worries
Live in love forevermore
***
"I'm in love with you."
"You cannot be."
"Why?"
Rain has been falling for three days, without the sun ever showing itself.
A mist of gloom enfolded the capital but He Di did not feel the chill in the air. The raging need to tell her and to tell her NOW what has burned inside of him for days kept him impervious to the cold.
"I do not know what is going on, General Wang, but how can you be in love with me?"
"How can I not be?"
"Have you had too much to drink?"
"I am sober. I have never been more sober in my life,"
General Shen Yue's eyes looked at him from head to toe, standing just a few meters away.
She is dressed in armor today for she is about to leave for another mission.
No one knows how long she may be away. No one knows whether Wang He Di may already be married when she returns.
No one knows.
So Wang He Di came to her before the crack of dawn, confessing what his heart has been screaming as he finally admitted that what he has felt for her for such a long time now is beyond admiration and respect.
He just never allowed himself to see it because she is his teacher, she is his master, she is his leader.
"DiDi...", a softness in her voice he remembered hearing long ago made him reach out a hand to her. She took it and smiled at him, "I do not know what is happening. And I do not know why you came to me today with these words. But I want you to know that you are precious to me, and I do love you... but it isn't the love that could respond to your declaration."
"I have taught you, watched you grow, seen you rise up through your own merits and step out of your father's shadow to create a name for yourself."
She squeezed at his hand.
"You cannot be in love with me."
"I may be a General now. I may be steeped in glory given to me by the emperor but I am still a common woman. I am not someone you should love."
"That doesn't matter to me!"
"It does to me", she let go of his hand, "You are the son of my benefactor. You are the future of our great empire. You shine as bright as the sun and I am the moon. I can only reflect you but I will never shine as bright as you... You have a beautiful betrothed who can sit beside you and shine as brightly as you."
"I do not love her."
"You do not love me too the way you confess you do. You are just nervous and probably unsure. I understand because you are such a pure child. Marriage can indeed be -"
"Do not tell me that you know how I feel better than I do."
The sound of horses riding up the residence broke through the sound of rain pattering against the roof.
"I can tell you how I feel, though."
"You've already told me you do not love me", He Di fought against the pain crawling from his hands to his heart, to his eyes, "But please do not tell me that what I feel for you is wrong or that I am not supposed to feel it. You know I have never been good at lying to you and especially to myself. All I ask for is a chance. All I ask for is that you let me love you."
Shen Yue's eyes, which were initially soft, now steeled themselves against him.
"I cannot give you even this chance you ask for because giving you this chance can destroy your future."
"Loving you won't destroy my future!"
"General Wang! You cannot - "
A soft knock interrupted their conversation. "General Zhang Ling He has arrived."
"I will join him in a minute."
The servant turned back and Wang He Di knew this could truly be his last chance.
"I will wait for you. When you return, you will see my sincerity and know that loving you will not destroy me or my future."
"If I could forget who I am and who you are, then maybe I can give you what you ask of me, but... that will never happen. I see you and love you as a teacher would love a treasured student. Nothing you do or say now or in the future will change that."
She walked away from him and never looked back.
The next time he would hear of her, he would learn that she and General Zhang Ling He were caught in an ambush.
***
Wang He Di's former Vice-Captain was in a coma for five days.
The Imperial Army shook in indignation at the audacity of the enemy to stage an ambush that has put one of its respected Generals in a coma and another one missing or possibly dead.
He and his brothers went back and forth the palace and General Zhang's residence as the situation unraveled itself and spies were rooted out one by one.
Apparently, both Generals allowed themselves to be trapped because this mission was done to pinpoint the spies that have been planted in the Empire.
Still, the repercussions of this decision are far worst than what anyone expected.
And for days, Wang He Di has been on edge, exchanging messenger falcons with Xi Ze and Hong, who have both been assigned on a rescue-recovery mission for General Shen.
He volunteered but the emperor decided that he would best stay in the Capital to see through the clean up of planted spies throughout the palace, Imperial Army, and all high-ranking offices.
Praying for General Zhang's recovery to be able to talk to him has been one of the only threads of hope that he clung to.
When the General woke up and called for him right after giving an account of what happened to his Father, He Di wasted no time in heading to his residence.
"He Di."
"Ling He-ge."
"I feel the effects of the medicine wearing me down again. Come closer to me as my throat feels strained from speaking after so long a time."
"Do you want me to call the physician?"
"No. There is no need to", he heaved a breath, "Shen Yue is not dead. You must find her and you must bring her back."
"I will."
"And when she gets back, woo her as you promised her. Do everything you can to win her over."
He Di's eyes widened in surprise.
"She told me everything the night before our ambush. She told me about your confession, and she told me that she regrets having hurt you as badly as she did."
"I already asked my parents to cancel my engagement. I told her before you left that I would do everything I can to show my sincerity."
"I know. Your father told me. Hence, I wanted to talk to you so you could find her and keep your promise." Ling He produced a jade ring from his side pocket and gave it to He Di. He recognized it as the jade ring he gifted Yue years ago, when he and his platoon saved a village from ravagers. He gave it as a sign of appreciation and obeisance - from student to teacher. "She told me that in another life, she would have said yes to you. She gave me this damned ring and told me that I should give this to you before she took an arrow for me and jumped into that raging river. She is alive He Di! I will not accept her death. YOU HAVE TO FIND HER! YOU GIVE THIS TO HER AND TELL HER SHE IS THE BIGGEST FOOL IN THE WORLD!"
***
Fate may come between us
Tempting us to hurry
Leaving me a lifetime of pain
***
After spending one year chasing all possible leads in finding Shen Yue, Wang He Di was forcefully summoned back to the Capital and made to become a part of the Imperial Army once again.
Time flowed differently for him.
Sometimes, he would feel like it has been a hundred years already since he last saw her face.
Sometimes, a memory of hers would make him feel like it was only yesterday when she trained him to death, he often vomited in the middle of the night.
He thought of no one else but her.
He looked after her estate and everyone in it.
Everyone now knows of his devotion to a woman who may or may not be alive anymore, a woman who may or may not be just a memory, a woman who may or may not have loved him if the fates were only kinder to them, if she wasn't so stubborn and he wasn't so strong-headed.
He told the heavens... he told her... that what General Zhang told him does not matter.
He will only believe it if he hears it from her.
So she has to let him find her.
"Call out to me...", he told the moon almost every night, "Call me and I will be there."
***
Don't know if we'll meet again
My own heart will be waiting
Even in the afterlife
***
Five years later
She knew her name because it has been inlaid in one of the rings she wore.
Yue.
The name of the moon.
She knew another person's name because it was carved in the locket she kept close to her heart.
Wang He Di
Just thinking of the name always warmed her heart although she didn't know why.
She often wondered who the name belonged to and imagined how the face of the person who owned it would look like.
Yue had often dreamed of a man in armor, riding on a handsome black horse, and every time she called out to him for him to turn, the dream ends.
She is not under any delusion as to who she might have been before.
It has been years since her adoptive sister found her and no one has come looking for her since then.
She owns both fighting skills and quite a truly strong body.
The scars all over her body are signs that she was a soldier.
And a soldier without any memory is a soldier in danger.
She kept a low profile for many years and has gained a life in this small fishing village in Tianya Haijao.
She had hopes before that as the area is a place where a lot of high-ranking officials are exiled, she might find a way to learn of her identity, but she has been very unsuccessful thus far.
The closest she has ever gone to finding out who she is is when she met Wu Xi Ze, a travelling hunter who called out her name in surprise the moment their eyes met in the market.
But Wu Xi Ze has been tight-lipped about her identity - only confirming to her that she is indeed a former soldier and that they worked together before.
She understood his hesitation in telling her everything.
She has been gone for five years, apparently.
And he isn't sure whether she is pretending or has been converted as a spy for the enemy.
She wanted to press him closer.
She wanted to ask him everything. He stayed with her for a month and every now and then he would let slip bits and pieces of her past.
She took all of it in, like a man trapped in a desert, seeing water for the first time.
Wu Xi Ze tested her patience so much but, in the end, she succeeded in finally securing from him a promise that he would tell her everything he knows about her.
"Before I do that, I need to return to the Capital. If you want, you can come with me."
He gave her a week to think about coming with him or not but in the end, she decided to wait for him here.
In as much as Xi Ze has his uncertainties, she also has qualms about coming with someone who claims to know her to a place where no one will be able to protect her.
It is true that she might very well be the strongest person in the village, but it is also true that she feels safest here.
And if Xi Ze is lying and is actually the enemy, she has put up enough safeguards to protect not only herself but her whole village.
The Village Chief has joked often enough that she has the talents of an army general.
It has been almost a month now and except for a short message a week ago that someone is coming for her, Yue has not heard anything else from Xi Ze.
The moon was shining almost as brightly as the sun outside and this anxious longing for news about the one person in the world who could be the key to her identity has made her restless enough to want to walk near the shore and feel the sand against her feet.
She opened her window wide enough to allow her to step outside and headed for the direction of the beach.
Last night, she had that nightmare of hers where she drowned, gasping for breath and no one came to save her. However, before she drowned, for the very first time in years, she heard herself telling someone... "Tell him in another lifetime, I would have said yes."
So, when she woke up heaving for air, there wasn't so much fear but quite a lot of curiosity.
Those were her words.
And although she could not see who she said them to, she could feel that she meant it for the person whose name she had in her locket.
"Wang He Di", she whispered to herself, as she sat down just a few feet from the ocean, allowing the breeze to lightly caress her hair, "He Di..."
That would have been his name right? She probably would have called him that or... "DiDi."
Not knowing why or how in the world does she know this, "DiDi" felt just right against her lips. She'd been calling him that endearment in her mind for quite a while now.
She looked up the sky and shouted out loud, "DiDi, where are you? Come see me already!"
Yue felt tears roll down her eyes, but she did not wipe them away.
She has no idea what she is crying for, but all she knows is she wants to cry.
Because fate has not been kind to her. Even in her dream, she felt like she was reaching for something that her previous life could not give her.
"Tell him in another lifetime, I would have said yes."
"DiDi, please find me. I -"
Before she could say another word, a pair of strong arms encircled her, and she felt a warmth that did not ignite fear but an overwhelming sense of safety and security - as though she is being preciously held like the locket she has kept for years.
She was hoisted up and as her hazel eyes met another pair of hazel eyes that reflected longing, confusion, relief, and inexplicable happiness all rolled into one, she found herself lifting her hands to re-acquaint herself with a face her mind cannot recall but her heart seems to remember.
The thick eyebrows, sharp nose, high cheeks, chiseled jaw, long hair... "DiDi?"
It took a heartbeat.
"Yes, Yue. It's me."
Author's Note:
It has been a long time since I have written. I have missed it as much as I have missed DIYUE.
Now, it is truly an honor for me to have written once again for a project that aims to bring warmth and happiness to DIYs wherever they are in the world.
Lu is a true Santa in doing this and each and everyone who has joined this project are angels bringing forth good news and cheer.
PS - I want to give a huge shoutout to Luna who created my story poster. She is a superstar!
May everyone have a great, safe, and awesome Christmas and New Year.
Blessings from the Moon and the Sun!
- Mai