Louis' been distant. He hasn’t been answering my texts and he’s stopped calling me every morning before school, like he used to. Its been a week since the encounter with his dad. I figured he’s probably still trying to wrap his head around it, so I’ve been giving him some space. That’s what I should be doing, right? Giving him space. But there comes a point were you start to wonder, whether this is about his dad or there’s something else going on.
Recently, he started playing football again and it just happened to be at the same club The twins played at. Today, I thought I’d go and watch them play in the beakers. Maybe I’d get a chance to talk to Louis as well. The evening came and It was all looking like a great idea, until I got to Silver fleets football club and saw the last thing I would have expected.
Louis. Sat on the side-lines, chugging down beer after beer after beer. Apparently, he got kicked off the team for turning up to the game completely wasted. That was understandable. The boy over there. The underage, drunk, unstable teenager on the other side of the football pitch. Truth be told, I didn’t know who that guy was. It was like a completely different person than the one I saw last week. The Louis I knew didn’t even drink beer.
A tall blonde-headed guy with a Jersey that had the number 18 on the back, was putting the opposing team to shame. He was playing like a true footballer, communicating to his team mates, doing a few tricks before booting the ball straight into the net. Loud cheers erupted throughout one half of the crowd behind me, while a few people supporting the other team, booed . I cheered, all the while keeping an eye on Louis on the bench. The referee came out, blowing his whistle and announcing half-time. Silver fleets members congratulated number 18 on the goal.
“That was great Rowel.”
Wait. Rowel? As in, Michael Rowel? Louis' best mate? Number 18 turned around at the same time as 2 and 7 revealing their faces, and it was Michael, stood beside Eli and Eijai. This was my queue. I squeezed past a few people, went down the steps and onto the pitch. “Excuse me miss, but you’re not allowed on the field.” An average sized guy around 60 years of age, approached me, wearing a blue fleece with the Silver fleets Logo on. The coach.
“Yeah, I get that, but I need to go and see Louis Jayson.”
“I understand, but can’t you wait until the end of the game? it’s almost finished and....” He was starting to piss me off, I didn’t have time to be convincing the coach to let me on. Halftime was only 15 minutes and I had already wasted 2 of them talking to this guy. I should be over there, saving my drunk boyfriend from drowning himself in anymore alcohol.
“Excuse, what’s your name?” I interrupted.
“Gary.”
“Ok...Gary. I’m Louis' girlfriend and I’m heavily pregnant with his babies. He’s over there on the side lines, obviously not in a good place, and I should be with him. So if you don’t mind I need to go over there and talk to my boyfriend.”
He sighed, combing his hand through his thin grey hair.
“Fine. Go on.” He said.
“Thank you.”
“Rowel!” He called, waving him over from the bench. Michael sprinted over as fast as he could, his eyes widened when he saw me.
“Yes coach.” He said, leaning against the fence to catch his breath.
“Can you please escort this young lady to Mr Jayson?” “Yes sir.”
He hooked his arm in mine and walked me across the field.
“I’m glad your here. Louis is a mess.”
“Yeah, I can tell. What’s going on with him?” I asked.
“I was hoping you could tell me.” He sighed.
As we got closer to the bench, Eli and Eijai waved and stood up, making space for me to sit down, which I was more than grateful for, because I was already out of breath from having to walk here.
I slid into the space they made beside Louis and pulled him into a hug. A few players from the Red Dragons, wolf whistled from their bench.
“GROW UP!” I yelled. That shut them up real quick.
The three boys stepped back, beckoning the rest of the subs to follow.
“We’ll give you two some space.” Michael said in a hushed voice. I waited until we were left alone then pushed Louis off of me to look at him face to face. He smelled horrible. He smelled of sweat and a strong scent of beer. His hair was frizzy and his eyes were half open.
“Louis.”
“Louis, Look at me!” his head was bobbling everywhere. He looked like he was about to pass out. Why wasn’t the coach doing anything? And why did he allow him to sit on the bench and continue to get drunk?
“Michael!” I yelled. He rushed over to my side.
“I need to take him home. He shouldn’t be here in this state.” I said.
“OK, um....” He looked around the field frantically, from the coach to the opposing team and then back to me.
“Michael?”
“Yeah.”
“Can you drive him home? I know you’ll miss the game, but I could really do with your help right now.”
“Oh yeah, of course. But how are you getting home?” he asked.
“My brother dropped me here and he’s meant to be picking me up in an hour, after he finishes his shift.” I unlocked my phone and scrolled through my contacts to call Jordan with one hand, while trying to help Michael hold Louis up with the other. He was getting heavier and heavier by the minute.
“Don’t call your brother. I’ll take you home after we drop Louis. He’d want me to.” He said, placing a hand on my shoulder.
“Thanks Mike.”
I texted Jordan to tell him not to come, then the whistle blew again. Halftime was over. The two teams began to gather in the centre of the pitch around the ball, getting ready to continue the game. Michael let Louis back down on the bench gently. “I know he’s heavy, but can you manage for just a sec, I’ll be right back.” he said, running as fast as he could through the field to the coach. I laid Louis’ head down on my lap, so I wouldn’t have to hold him up. “Lou, we are going to take you home, ok?” he nodded subtly, so I knew he was awake. I saw Michael and the coach exchange a few words before walking back towards us, side by side.
“I'll help carry him to Michael’s car.” Coach Gary said. He picked up Louis and walked outside the white line, to the exit doors carrying him. He was now completely passed out, in his arms. Michael and I followed closely behind.
“Why hasn’t anyone called his mum?” I finally asked.
“We did. 5 times. But she wasn’t answering. Our last resort was to call the emergency services but you came, so we didn’t.”
“Oh.”
Until now, it hadn’t occurred to me how weird Louis and his mum’s relationship was. He never talked about her. His sisters were always out with him and I’ve never even met her or been in his house. I never thought twice about that though. I thought maybe he just preferred to be at my house or hang out at the park where we usually went. But I mean, we’ve been dating for long enough, not to mention I’m having his babies for crying out loud. We missed one of the most important steps. Meeting each other’s parents. (Honestly, I would have preferred if we could erase the meeting with mine and start over). But, like I said to Louis before. We did this all backwards.
We were in the car driving to drop Louis home. He was in the back laying down long ways, stretched over all three of the seats with a seatbelt strapped across his waist. I was sat quietly in the front next to Michael, looking back anxiously, every few seconds, to check if Louis was ok.
“Hey, he’s going to be alright.” Michael reassured me.
I nodded and took a deep breath, but as I did I felt cramp-like pain in stomach.
“Oooo, ow.” I whispered, holding my bump and gripping the seat tightly.
“What's wrong?!” Michael yelled, worriedly.
I took another long deep breath as the pain subsided.
“Its ok, just Braxton hicks.” I said.
Michael blew out a sigh of relief.
“That’s good. I thought maybe the babies were coming.” He laughed.
“The babies are coming?!” Louis screamed from the back. That made both of us scream bloody murder and Michael almost hit a tree.
“No, you flipping idiot! They’re not!” I shouted. My heart was thumping rapidly in my chest.
“Don’t you EVER do that again man, you almost got us killed!” Michael said.
“Sorry.” He said, slowly sitting up in the seat.
“Well, we’re almost at your house, so hang on a bit longer and you’ll be in your bed.” Michael said.
“What.. what are you doing here Rye?” He slurred. He was still drunk and didn’t look like he was going to stay awake for long.
“Don’t worry about that, let’s just get you home.”
Michael turned down Louis' Street and parked one house down from his. We both got out to help Louis, who was still unstable on his feet. The lights were on in the house, so his mum must have been home. I rang the door bell once, then twice. Nothing.
My back and arms were starting to ache, so I pressed it three more times, more impatiently than before. The door chain jingled and the door nob turned, as it slowly creaked opened.
Michael cleared his throat.
“Hello Mrs Jayson, we brought Lou....
“Oh, hello.”
It wasn’t Louis' mum. It was his younger sister Emily, stood in the door way in her pink L O L doll pyjamas. Her eyes grew shocked when she realised who we were holding up. Her older brother, head hung low, reeking of beer and eyes only partly open. Not what a young girl should see at 7 o’clock at night, let alone EVER. She looked like she was about to cry.
“Em, where’s your mum?” I quickly said.
She said nothing and just stared blankly at Louis. Lip quivering.
“Em.”
“EM?”
“This is really important, we need to talk to your mum.” I said, calmly.
“She’s upstairs. Sleeping.” She whispered.
“OK. Can we come in? Can you show us where Louis' bedroom is?” Michael asked.
She nodded.
The house was a complete mess. It resembled Keign’s bedroom, but much, much worse. Toys scattered everywhere, pizza boxes and crisp packets and pieces of food all over the floor. The TV was on and playing Peppa pig but, other than that, it was very quiet.
Michael shut the door and Emily went up stairs.
“I think I can carry him. You go upstairs and I’ll follow behind you.” He said.
“Alright.” I was just glad I wasn’t holding him anymore. He weighed like 1000 pounds! I know there are rules about what you should and shouldn’t carry when you’re pregnant, but I had no choice. I couldn’t just leave him there. However, I was now starting to get a back ache.
The area upstairs was smaller than I expected. It was a tight squeeze to get past the load of cardboard boxes stacked beside the bathroom door and into Louis' room, which was, surprisingly, the cleanest room in house that I’d seen so far.
“Thanks Emily.” I smiled kindly.
“Its ok.” She said, before running back downstairs into the living room.
I pulled back the duvet on the bottom bunk of his bed, then moved out of the way to let Michael through. He carefully placed Louis on the bed, threw his shoes to the side, then tucked him in.
“You’re a great friend, you know that right?” “Thanks.” He whispered.
“No, seriously, there aren’t many people who would do this for their best mate.”
“Yeah, but Louis would do it for any of us without thinking twice, he’s just like that with the ones he cares about.”
“Meet you downstairs.”
Michael left the room, leaving me with just my thoughts and Louis. What Michael said was true and it stuck with me for some reason. I bent down and kissed Louis on the cheek before following after Michael.
“Thanks again for letting us in Em.” I said, when I got in the living room. She was wrapped up in a blanket, watching TV on her own.
“It’s ok.” She said again.
Something didn’t feel right. I knew it and I could see that Michael knew it too. So I took a deep breath and asked her what had been on my mind.
“Are you always down here on your own?”
“No, me and liah and Louis, but liah's sleeping with mummy.” She said.
“Oh ok. Well, we have to go now, but will you be ok down here on your own?” I asked.
“Can I come with you?”
“Aww, Em, I don’t think your mum would be happy if you came with me. She wouldn’t know where you were.” I said.
“Okay.” She said sadly.
But then I had an idea.
“Do you know how to use the house phone Em?”
“Yep.”
“Ok.” I took out a piece of paper from my pocket and asked Michael for a pen.
“ If you ever want to talk to me, you just press these numbers in and it will call me and I’ll answer.” I wrote my phone number down on the paper then handed it to her.
“OK.” She said smiling.
“Alright, bye.”
“Bye.” She said.
As we walked back to the car, Emily parted the curtains and waved at us. We waved back until we went round the corner and couldn’t see her anymore.
Michael drove me home and we were quiet. I was just beginning to process the recent events of this evening, all of which happened in the space of an hour. This year has just been one thing after another, would any of us ever catch a break?
It wasn’t long before we were parked outside of my house. It was 7:30pm, but it felt like midnight to me.
“Thanks for dropping me home.” I said, as I got out the car.
“No problem.” He said.
I shut the door and was about halfway up the pave-way when he called my name.
“Wait, Rye?”
“Yeah.” I answered.
“I know what you were thinking back there in the house with Louis' sister. Its not what you think it is. But Just maybe hold off on talking to Louis about it until he’s got himself back on his feet.” He said.
“Ok.” I said confusedly
He waved, turned the car around and drove back the way we came.
The next day was December 12th. Today was the day that we put up the Christmas tree. I remember I would always beg mum to put the tree up earlier as a little kid because decorating it was one of the best parts of the Christmas season and I was too impatient to wait. It was also exactly a week before Louis turned 18. Yesterday felt like a bad dream, I almost couldn’t believe that it happened. Almost. Until I opened up my Textmate app and to my own disappointment all my messages from 2 days ago were still unread. Yesterday definitely happened.
BANG! Keign bussed into my room. You probably expected me to say something like He gave me a heart attack! But nope my heart beat has been on a continuous up and down rollercoaster, I’m pretty sure I’m used to all of this by now. But it doesn’t make it any less annoying.
“Keign, here’s a thought, and it might be hard for a brain like yours to comprehend, but why don’t you try KNOCKING NEXT TIME? You know, instead of breaking down my door like a maniac at 9 o’clock in the bloody morning!”
“OK sorry, but I have a reason.” He said, hopping on the spot with excitement.
“I doubt its good enough to justify you waking me up like that, but go on, enlighten me.” I sighed.
“Mum said we can go and see dad.”
“Wh-what?!”
“Yeah, so get dressed. We leave in an hour.” Keign said, then he left. Closing the door behind him.
I got showered as quick as I could, which as you could imagine, wasn’t quick at all. Everything took much longer and a lot more energy when you were pregnant, from walking up the stairs, getting out of bed, to even standing up. I couldn’t even put my shoes on by myself, my bump was huge now and there would be no point in trying, because I couldn’t even see my feet!
“Rye, hurry up you’ve been in there forever!” Keign moaned.
“Are you heavily pregnant and carrying two human beings inside of you?” Do you KNOW how tiring it is?” I yelled from the shower.
“No.”
“Well cut me some slack, I’m going as fast as I can!” “Alright geez.” Keign said.
I turned off the shower, wrapped my towel barely once around me and stepped towards the door, but as I was about to open it, I heard Keign say something about me and decided to eaves drop.
“There’s something wrong my Twin.” Keign said.
“Like what?”
“She’s becoming a real bi...
I gasped.
“Pain in the butt.” Jordan filled in.
“You could say that.”
“Its mood swings man, just give her some space.” Jordan said.
Then I heard a series of thumps, so they probably went downstairs.
Younger, non-pregnant, Rye would get Keign back for what he said or almost said about me. But honestly, I couldn’t care less. The only thing on my mind right now was sleep and a cheese bagel.
After I got dressed into the comfiest clothes I could find, I went downstairs one step at a time. Halfway down I had to take a rest stop. I was getting fed up with being pregnant, everything took longer to do and I still had 2 months left.
“Good Morning honey.” Mum said cheerfully.
“Morning.” I said miserably.
I waddled to the fridge with my hand plastered on my bump, grabbed cheese and butter, then walking over to the bread bin for bagel buns. As I made my breakfast, Keign and Jordan were sat on the sofa whispering back and forth to each other and then mum heard and shushed them both.
“Rye, honey..” she walked towards me, placing a kiss on my cheek and rubbing her hand in circles around my bump. “Are you ok?” She asked softly.
“No. My back hurts, my bump feels tight and I’m so tired, mum.”
“I just want them to come out now.” I groaned, a few tears escaping down my cheek.
“I know. That’s exactly how I felt when I was pregnant with you and your brother. Everything was exhausting at this stage, but you only have a couple more months and your precious little boys will be here. All you gotta do is just hang on a little longer.” While she was rubbing, the boys kicked hard against her hand.
“Oh my gosh, that was a big one!” Mum chuckled.
“They must love their grandma.”
I took a bite of my breakfast and they kicked again harder than before.
“Whoa! Chill out little ones. What’s going on in there?” It felt like they were either fighting or having a party, they were kicking and moving around all over the place.
“If they’re like that now, imagine what they’re gonna be like when they are born.” Keign said.
“Yeah.”
Fast forward to 20 minutes later.
I was in the back seat next to Keign and Jordan was sat in the front next mum who was driving. The radio was playing through the car speakers with the sound of the heating blasting in the background.
It was absolutely freezing outside today. There was a black ice alert set out for the early morning. There had already been a collision on Broad Street about 2 hours earlier. The Trucks were supplying grit all over the main roads to prevent any more accidents but now there were diversions and temporary lights on the motorway. That meant heavy London traffic and a long car ride ahead of us.
“Hey.” Keign said.
“Yeah.”
“Got any names for the babies yet?”
“Nope, I haven’t. Any suggestions?” I asked.
Keign pulled out his phone from his jumper pocket and searched up baby names.
“Get your phone out Rye. I’ll read out some names and you make a list of the ones that you like.” Keign said.
“Alright.”
“That’s a good idea Keign.” Mum said.
“Yeah I know.”
“So first, Ben.” “No.”I said.
“Okay, how about Liam?”
“Um, its alright.”
“Write it down then.” Keign ordered.
“Alright.” I rolled my eyes.
“What about Keign?” He grinned.
“Yeah, that’s a great idea! Let’s name my baby after my annoying twin brother.” I said sarcastically.
“100% No.”
“Well, it was worth a try.” Keign sighed.
Jordan laughed.
“Hey Rye, what about Joshua?” Jordan suggested.
“OK maybe, I’ll add it on the list.”
“Joseph?”
“Yeah but Keign, that’s your middle name.” I said.
“And Jordan’s and Dad’s.
“And it was my dad’s middle name too.” Mum added.
“Oh! So is it like a tradition to give all the boys ‘Joseph’ as a middle name?”
“Yep, so if your boys have that as one of their names, then they will carry it on.” Mum said.
“OK.” I added Joseph on the list under Joshua and Leo.
By the time we made it to our destination, I had at least a dozen potential names for my babies.
“Liam, Joshua, Joseph, Kai, Jackson, George, Myles, Mason, Jace...
“Don’t forget Ezra.” mum said.
“Nah, Ezra sounds like a really old name.” mum gasped.
“Its a great name! Ezra Wilson was one of my favourite singers when I was young.”
“Yeah and that’s why I said it was old.” Keign and I giggled.
“Are you saying I’m old?”
“Mum, you’re 45.” Keign said.
“Yeah and your dad would say, I don’t look a day over 20.” She pulled down the mirror in the car and began to apply more lip stick.
“I think you look pretty good for your age.” Jordan said.
“Aww! This is why you’re my favourite.” Mum said, squishing Jordan’s cheeks.
“WHAT!” Keign and I exclaimed.
Mum turned into the parking lot and unlocked the doors.
“Come on, guys we’re here.”
I don’t know what I expected it to look like, but this definitely wasn’t it. The building was surrounded by tall metal fences. The top was lined in large coils of spiky barbed wires. The weather was already miserable with the sky covered in a blanket of white clouds and the air being bitterly cold. But us stood outside this old, grey apartment looking building, knowing what awaited us inside, created this depressing atmosphere that could make even the brightest summer day, dull.
“Hi, I’m here to visit my husband.” Mum said to the security guard.
The dark, sinister, muscular man, pinned in a sequence of numbers into the a metal palette. A women's voice spoke out the microphone beside it.
“Hello.” She said.
“Miss Lakely, please open gate B in Zone 4. We have some people who would like to visit an inmate.” The security man said.
After a series of beeps, the gate clicked, then opened automatically. Letting us in.
“Follow me.” He said.
We followed him through a large square concrete area to two glass doors. Inside, there was a middle aged women in Police uniform, sat at a desk on a phone call. I suddenly had second thoughts on whether I actually wanted to go in or not.
“Are you alright?” I whispered to Keign, who was stood beside me.
“Yeah, its just, this place gives me the creeps.”
“Yeah me too.” He grabbed my hand and held it, for the first time in forever, as we hesitantly walked in to the building. The security guard went first, then mum and Jordan, then us two.
The lady at the desk, who I assumed was Miss Lakely, made us write our names down on a piece of paper that said ‘what time we came in and out’. Then we were taken through another set of doors, where a police man and women were stood next to a small table with a blue tub on it. Several other blue tubs full of people’s belongings were lined up underneath the table.
“Can you please empty your pockets?” The police man said. He wore a name tag that read Frank Jones and the police lady’s read Jane Anderson.
We did as he asked and emptied our coat pockets, placing our phones and whatever else we had in the blue tub. I didn’t bring much with me other than my phone -and a chocolate bar, but I left that in the car-. Although, in my trousers pocket were the two recent scan pictures of the babies I had brought to show dad.
Mum had to hand over her brown leather handbag to the lady because she had way too many things in there to dump out. While she thoroughly searched the bag, we got pat down and metal detected one by one. I went first, spreading my arms and legs out like a standing starfish. I would have preferred the woman to pat me down, but since she was busy, Frank Jones had to do it. He patted me down from my arms all the way to my legs while waving the metal detector around. He stopped at my bump and began to tap it more times than necessary. Keign and Jordan gave him a hard stare making his cheeks turn pink. He stood up, clearing his throat awkwardly.
“You can go into the seating area now.” He said, pointing down the corridor to the right.
I didn’t want to go in on my own, so I waited and we all went in together. The seating area had 12 tables, seven of them were occupied with either adults visiting their children or older children visiting their parents. It looked a lot like prisons did in movies, like how the inmates would wear Orange vests and have their visit timed. It kinda felt like they could be a player under pressure on The chaser (except non of this was fun). It was hard to sit at our table and witness families part, the heartbreak in their eyes. I knew it would be no different when our turn came.
The door beeped and the security guard -that we saw at the gate- came out, with dad following behind him. At first, everyone’s faces lit up, but then we saw him. His head hung low, the orange vest and his hands in handcuffs. Our faces fell like everyone else’s. Straight and emotionless.
“You have an hour.” He said, as dad sat down beside mum.
“Hi my love.” Mum said quietly. Dad said nothing but smiled slightly and laid his head upon her shoulder.
He placed his hands on the table. The metal cuffs clanked loudly as it hit the surface, making us all jump in our seats.
“Sorry.” He said
“I’m glad you all came, especially you Rye.” I brought my hand out from underneath the table and skeptically placed my hand on top of his. Keign and Jordan did too. He sounded so mournful. Like he hated it here. I think we all did. It felt like everyone was walking on eggshells.
“Its good to see you too dad.” I said.
“Yeah.” Jordan said.
“It’s weird without you.” Keign said.
“I know. 9 months left.” He smiled, forcefully.
Mum looked like she was about to cry, so I decided to change the subject. I slowly pulled out the two scan pictures from my pocket and placed it in the centre of the table.
“I brought this to show you.”
Everyone removed their hands and dad picked up the photos. He smiled the first genuine smile of the visit.
“Stand up Rye.” He asked.
As I stood up, he smiled again.
“The bump is so big. When are you due? and what are you having?” He asked eagerly. That took away some of the tension in the atmosphere, making it easier to relax.
“I’m having boys and they’re due on Valentines day.” I smiled.
“That’s soon. And how’s Louis?”
Dad noticed the fall of emotion in my eyes, even though I tried to cover it up with a smile.
“What’s going on?” he asked
Mum and both of my brothers adverted their attention to me, with concerned looks on their faces.
“Um.. can I call you later? Then we’ll talk about it.” “Yeah, sounds like a plan.” He said.
For the rest of the hour, we caught dad up on the last few months. The baby shower, the café, baby clothes shopping and us picking names in the car beforehand. Mum talked about her novel, that is going to be out to the public on New year’s day.
In a wink of an eye, the security guard was stood behind us letting us know we had 5 minutes left.
“Already?!” Keign said
“That felt like 10 minutes.” Jordan said.
“I know we’ll come back again before the new year.” Mum said.
We all got up and took a turn giving dad a hug. Keign held on to dad the longest. It felt like he was soaking up all the time we had left with him. I wanted to tell him to hurry up, but that wouldn’t have been appropriate. I just waited quite impatiently, until at last it was my turn.
“I love you dad.” I whispered, just barely managing to give him a side hug.
“Love you too.”
“Times up!” The guard declared.
“I have to go now, but remember to call me.” “I will. Either later today or tomorrow.” I said.
“Bye.”
The first visit with dad was great. It was sad to leave him, but we made the most of it. We reminisced about all our favourite moments with dad and laughed about the silly ones from the prison all the way home, stopping at the supermarket on the way.
“Rye, I forgot the garage keys in the house. Can you go and grab it for me? Its on the key hook.” Mum asked.
“Ok.” I walked slowly up the pave-way to the front door, I unlocked it and went in to grab the keys. That’s when I noticed we had post. With great difficulty, I bent down to pick it up. But it wasn’t just any regular letter. It was hand written and addressed To Rye Parker and in small writing below it said from Lou.