“I know this must be a huge shock to see me like this after 3 years but I just wanted to say...
“Stop.” Louis interrupted.
“I know what you’re going to say and I don’t want to hear it.”
“You’re about 5 years too late.”
I was stood beside Louis, not knowing what to do. A few strangers near by had stopped and were watching, nosily, from a distance. I knew I shouldn’t get involved, but Louis clearly wanted nothing to do with him. He wanted him gone. But by the look of things, his dad wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. I held his hand and comforted him the best I could.
“Can’t you just let me explain.” His dad pleaded.
“Explain what dad!”
“Explain why you left us, or why you’re out of prison early.” Or maybe who that pregnant women is standing over there?!”
“I don’t care about whatever reason you may have for your failed relationship with this family. So why don’t you just focus on not messing up your new one.” “I hope to god your new child won’t have to have such a disappointment of a father as I did.”
“I...I'm..” His dad stuttered.
“Just go!”
He didn’t move. So Louis unstrapped Aliah out of the trolley and placed her on the ground.
“Stay next to me.” He said sharply. But Aliah hooked her arm around mine and hid her head in my trousers. I cuddled her close while Louis helped Emily out.
Emily tapped Louis' legs to get his attention.
“What.” He grunted.
“Louis that IS daddy.” She said quietly.
His dad knelt down to her height and said “Hi Emily.” She cautiously stepped closer but Louis quickly grabbed hold of Emily’s hand, jerking her away from him.
“Louis!” I gasped.
“I think you should go.” Mum finally said.
“This is between me and my son.”
“Well, you’re son clearly doesn’t want to talk to you, so I suggest you leave before I call the police.” “With a history like yours, I doubt that would be a good situation for you to be in.” Mum threatened.
He stepped back, glaring angrily at mum. He looked at Louis one last time before turning away and leaving the way he came. I saw Louis’ whole body physically relax. His shoulders slumped and his fist unclenched. I slipped my hand in his, but he pulled it away. It felt like a sucker punch to the gut.
“Mary, can I wait in the car?”
“Sure.” She handed him her car keys. He grabbed a few of the bags then left. We quickly finished up the rest of the packing.
It was getting dark outside now and it was pouring with rain. In the carpark, customers were rushing to their vehicles, holding bags above their head for shelter. Most of them didn’t have a jacket with a hood, since earlier hadn't been as cold as it should be for this time of the year.
I felt an urge to go after him. I wanted to be with him.
“Honey...” Mum placed a hand on my shoulder. “He needs to be alone right now.”
I nodded.
Mum bent down, so she was face to face with the two girls, who were stood beside me. Their eyes were scanning the store warily. They looked a little shaken up.
“Do you think you two can you help carry some bags to the car?”
“Then we’ll go and get some hot chocolate at the café.” She whispered, grinning.
That put a smile on their faces. They both picked up a bag each, put their hood on and headed towards the exit. I zipped up my new coat over my bump and put my fluffy hood on, following behind and pushing the trolley with the rest of the bags.
Louis was sat in the front seat of the car with his headphones on and his head leaning against the window. I put the bags in the trunk while mum helped buckle Aliah and Emily in their booster seats. Then we both got in the car and got out of there. Leaving the madness of that shopping trip behind us.
The Café was packed, which was to be expected. Miserable winter weather called for warm hot chocolate and cookies. The four of us hopped out of the car and went in. Mum went with the girls to find an empty table and I went to over to the counter. Eli was there. Rushing around in such a scramble sorting out multiple orders at once, Jordan was in the back cooking the food, but Why wasn’t Eijai helping him? I wondered.
I cleared my throat and knocked my knuckles on the wooden counter, in an attempt to get his attention. “I’d like to order 4 hot chocolates with marshmallows. 2 small, 2 large, please.”
“OK, I’ll be there in just a minute.” He was so focused on the order, he didn’t even realise who the customer was.
“Rye!” He said excitedly, when he finally noticed. He passed the two coffees to the lady, who was waiting patiently beside me, and ran round to give me a hug.
“I haven’t seen you in here, in like... forever.”
“Yeah I know. Its been a while.” He let go of me and went back round to continue his work. He looked exhausted.
“Where’s Eijai?” I asked.
“Oh, he’s sick at home.”
“Oh no, is it the flu?”
“Yeah.”
“You look like you could do with a hand.”
I squeezed passed a few customers, behind the counter then passed Eli and hooked a disposable apron around my neck.
“Rye, I’m fine, you should go and sit down.”
“Why?”
Eli looked at me like I was crazy.
“Rye, you’re heavily pregnant, Jordan would probably not be happy with you doing this, and no offense, but you can hardly fit back here.”
“First of all, sort of offensive, but I’ll let that slide. Second, you’re not fine. You’re running around like a headless chicken trying to do all this on your own, so let me help.”
“Fine, but when Jordan comes out and sees you, I’m going to tell him I had nothing to do with this.” Eli said.
“I’m not scared of him, so let’s get back to business.”
Eli and I sorted out a system. I took the orders and he made them. It felt good being back behind the counter working again. I never realised how much I missed this place before now, but I really did. I hadn’t worked here in 7 months. The atmosphere of the shop, people talking and laughing. Parents wiping chocolate moustaches of their little children’s faces. Serving meals for couples on Romantic Dates and strong coffee for the heartbroken. All reasons why I loved this place. I’d hate to admit this, but maybe there was a slight chance that Jordan was right. Perhaps I should consider this being my full-time job. ‘Consider’ being the key word.
After rush hour had passed and the café was calm and controllable, I used the last bit of cocoa powder in the tub to make one more cup of hot chocolate, topping it with extra marshmallows and whipped cream. Jordan did come out every once in a while to check that I wasn’t ‘over doing it’, but I just told him that I was perfectly fine. Eli was now sat at the table with mum and the girls drinking their hot chocolates. I watched from the counter with a smile on my face as he entertained the girls, making them giggle with his weird voices. I put the lid on the cup and carefully carried it to the door.
“Wait, Rye where are you going?!” Mum called from centre table.
“There’s something I have to do real quick!”
It was five o’clock and pitch black, the street lights glowed in the distance. The clocks had gone back, meaning sun down was earlier than it was in the summer time. It got darker around three o’clock instead of seven. The ground was still wet from when it had rained and the air had that soggy damp smell.
I walked from the shop down the road to where the car was parked, trying my best to dodge all the biggest puddles. Unfortunately, the lack of light caused me to step in a few. I felt the water slowly sink from my shoes into my socks, making a squelching sound with every step I took. Converse shoes in the rain were never a good idea.
Through the window, I could see Louis sat in the same spot we left him in, but instead of wearing his headphones, he had the radio playing in the background. I knocked twice on the window. He jumped, but relaxed when he saw it was me and leaned over to the driver side to roll down the window.
“Hey.” He said timidly.
“Hey, I thought you might want a hot chocolate.” I said.
“Oh thanks. One sec.”
He rolled up the window and unlocked the door to let me in.
He turned the radio down low and sipped on the hot chocolate I gave him. We sat in silence for a moment, listening to the classical music station and staring awkwardly into space.
“So... are you ok?” I said, at last.
“Yeah.... no.... I don’t know really.” He said.
“I guess I feel a little better now that I’ve had time to think.”
“It must of been hard seeing him again so suddenly, after what happened.”
“Yeah, its just that I don’t trust him. And it made me so mad that Emily was acting like Oh it’s daddy! Daddy's back! When he’s the reason our life is like this. He’s the reason she has nightmares every night. You know.”
“Does she not remember.... , what happened?” I asked.
“No, she doesn’t. The nightmares she has, she’s always talking about the bad man and how the bad man was going to get her. The psychologist says its all the trauma. We all know who the bad man is; she's the only one who doesn’t.”
I wanted to ask why no one had told her yet, but the more I thought about it, the more I realised I knew the answer. She was too young. She had only just turned 7 last week. Her mum probably didn’t want her only memories of her father to be the ones that caused her trauma. There had been good memories too, maybe her mum wanted her to see the good side of her dad. The side Louis had witnessed. The side she fell in love with. It made sense why Louis was angry, he was just being protective. Protecting his sisters. But they didn’t remember any of it, so maybe it was more about protecting himself from the hurt. From his own trauma.
Once again, I didn’t know what to say. This was weird. We had never dealt with situations like this before. The kind when we both couldn’t find the right words to say in the moment. We we’re always talking, always laughing and joking around, and if we weren’t talking, we were sat in comfortable silence, which THIS was anything but. I just stayed quiet and listened to the radio with him. At one point he slid his soft hand into mine and held it. I didn’t realise until he lifted it to his lips and kissed it.
“Lou?” I whispered.
“Mh hmm.” He mumbled.
I turned to face him, for the first time that evening. “I love you.” “I love you too.” He answered.
Then I let go of his hand, leaned over the seat, slowly and kissed him lightly on the lips. He kissed me back, gradually growing in passion. The street light shun on our faces through the wind shield, making our skin glow.
I pulled away quickly to catch my breath.
“You know, the people walking by can see us, right?”
“I don’t care what they think.” He cupped my cheeks and leaned over to kiss me again. This time, adjusting his position so we were facing one another. At this point, I had gradually climbed from my seat to his and was almost all the way on his lap. Minutes flew by feeling like seconds, were so stuck in the moment that we didn’t hear the car door unlock.
“RYE and LOUIS!” mum gasped. We jumped, separating from each other. We tried to brush it off like nothing happened but when Em said “Ewww! Louis and
Rye were kissing!” I looked over at Louis and his face had gone completely red.
“Yuck!” Aliah said.
We’d never do that again for sure.