I threw the dirty dishrag over my shoulder and sighed. My feet hurt, my back hurt, and my head hurt, but my bank account hurt worse. Tonight was quiet, giving me a lot of time to think. My mind always ended up in dark places when it wandered.
Most people think things are worse in retrospect, but when I've made a total of $20 in tips during an eight hour shift and realize I might be burning candles all week, it makes me wonder if my life hadn't been so bad. I mean, what's a bruise here and there when you at least know the electricity bill will be paid, right?
Every time my mind offered up these thoughts though, I made myself remember how afraid, alone, and absolutely desolate I had felt in that house. Electricity wasn't worth my sanity.
The restaurant was finally winding down, and I cleaned up the remaining tables in my section. The little eatery I worked at was quaint. Most of our clientele were older, like the establishment itself. I finished sweeping crumbs off the gray, stained Formica on my last table, and pushed my sweaty bangs out of my eyes.
Fifteen minutes later, Kelsey and I were the only two employees left. Kelsey was a single mother, but she had an unbreakable spirit. The woman was always happy, something I actually found endearing rather than annoying. It was easy to be friends with Kelsey.
She was a very open person. Within a few weeks of knowing each other, I had learned that her jackass of an ex had run off with another girl. Their son Bradley had only been six months old at the time, and she hadn't heard from him since. As terrible as it sounded, it was easier for me to be friends with people who had endured some hardship themselves.
"Hey, Cassie? Is it okay if I slip out early? The old lady across the hall is watching Bradley tonight and she always falls asleep on the couch at eleven."
I didn't like closing alone, but I knew it was hard for Kelsey to find someone to watch her son so I told her to go ahead. Resigning myself to a long night, I pulled out the mop with a sigh.
Finally, a little after midnight, I pulled my purse out of the drawer in the back room and hung up my apron. I stepped out into the night, locking the restaurant doors behind me. My apartment complex was only three blocks away, but I hated the walk home when I worked a night shift. Before I started toward my apartment, I fished my mace out from my purse.
For the umpteenth time, I wished I could afford a car. I could barely make my rent payment as it was though, and Montana was turning out to be lot more expensive than I had anticipated. I hadn't really planned my escape at all. The only goal had been to get lost, and Nowheresville, Montana had fit the bill.
I pulled my coat tighter around me and clutched the mace in my hand. The weather was fair, but a chill settled over me anyway. I tried unsuccessfully to shake off the gloomy feeling. I looked around slowly and cynically, taking in the deserted road and sidewalk.
Living with Jason had put the fear of God in me. Being constantly afraid for my life the entire four years of my marriage had warped my sense of self preservation. I was paranoid now; my walks home were shadowed by the memories of everything I had endured at his hands.
Logically, I knew that not every man was a cold blooded bastard like Jason, but who was I to tempt fate by being careless?
I slipped the mace into my other hand and wiped my sweaty palm on my jacket. I forced myself to take a calming breath, aiming to slow my racing pulse. I tried not to be such a damn coward, but cowardice wasn't the same thing as caution, was it?
Sometimes, I liked to think that being with Jason had only made me stronger. I suffered but came out better, more worldly than before. Times like tonight though, when I could feel my heart trying to leap out of my chest every time the wind blew leaves across the parking lot, it was all just wishful thinking.
I had a block to go. One fucking block when I heard a noise. I couldn't decide what the sound was. I didn't think it was footsteps, but the hair at the back of my neck stood up anyway. I didn't dare turn around or falter in my steps. I did absolutely nothing to draw any attention to myself.
Deep down, I was sure this was just my paranoia rearing its ugly head. This was a small rural town, after all.
Whitefish, Montana wasn't in the news for murders and drugs and sex crimes. That had been a huge part of my decision to stay here. I liked how absolutely unassuming this town was. With my luck though, I would end up on the front page of tomorrow's news paper. Young and Unsuspecting Girl Murdered and Left in Alley. I swallowed down hysterical laughter. I was anything but unsuspecting.
Breathe in, breathe out. I was nearing the steps of my apartment building when a figure flickered into my peripheral vision. He appeared at the mouth of an alley across the street and was keeping pace with me.
I acted like I didn't see him, but when he began to cross the street, I quickened my steps. My eyes darted to my building; when I glanced back, he was almost on top of me. He grabbed my arm, yanking me toward him, and only the steel tight grip I had on my mace prevented me from dropping it. I shoved my purse at him. Please let this be a robbery. When he dropped the purse with a smiling leer, I knew I was in trouble.
I raised the mace, spraying him with it at the same time he wrestled me into the alley. As I realized it was the alley right beside my apartment building, I was momentarily consumed with morbid humor. My head slammed back into the brick wall behind me and stars danced in my vision.
I had been so damn close to making it home unscathed.
He growled and covered his face as the mace took effect. I turned to run before he could grab me again, shaking my head to clear it.
I took about two steps before my path was blocked by a terrifyingly large dog. It growled and I froze, afraid to move when I saw the long, yellow fangs. The wolf-like creature's eyes met mine and I took an involuntary step back.
My heart starting beating in earnest, pounding in my chest as it recovered from the stasis it had been in. My lungs ached with the amount of air I was trying to force into them; a panic attack was imminent.
"You fucking bitch!"
The man had recovered enough from the mace to throw me up against the bricks again. I opened my mouth to scream, not really surprised I hadn't yelled earlier. My body had gone into automatic defense mode. Stay quiet, don't scream, don't cry, and it would be over soon.
"Oh, I don't think so," he said, putting a hand over my mouth as something cold and sharp bit into the skin on my stomach.
A fucking knife!? My shirt had gotten pushed up in the struggle and I fought not to move. I had a moment to reflect on the fact that I must have literally the worst luck of anyone ever.
Most people survived one good hardship, but apparently I was yet to reach my quota. I was going to be raped, murdered, and possibly eaten by this lunatic's dog, I thought as I heard another louder growl to my left. I kept still, knowing that struggling would only lead to the sharp bite of the knife in my skin.
"Alright now, I'm going to move my hand, but you're not going to make a sound."
The knife pressed harder against me for emphasis, shallowly piercing my skin. I attempted to nod my understanding, my eyes watering from the cut. He removed his hand, and I turned my head to get a good look at him for the first time. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen from my mace. I hoped it hurt like a bitch.
I realized I was terrified, and it kind of surprised me. Apparently, I wasn't as jaded as I thought. I had almost expected that when something like this finally happened, and with my shitty luck it was bound to happen, I wouldn't be so afraid after having endured Jason for so long. Turns out, there was some merit to all that 'Devil you know' stuff, and I most certainly did not know this man. His haggard face and dark hair were completely unfamiliar to me, and for some reason that made me mad. I was literally nothing to this man! Just a nameless victim.
My anger and terror fought each other, but when I felt the nip of canine teeth against my fingers, terror won. I couldn't control my shaking limbs and my heart tried to gallop out of my chest.
"Not yet, dammit! You'll get your turn," the man told the dog after he issued a low growl and nosed my hand again.
His turn at what, I wasn't sure. I did know what this guy was after though, and I wasn't going down without a fight. Not this time; never again.
With the knife still pressed into my belly, the guy started fumbling with my belt. I held in my panic and swallowed down the bile that rose in my throat. I knew I would have one chance of escape, but he needed to be more distracted. I could only hope that his stupid dog didn't chase me.
His hot hand touched my waist, and I shuddered in revulsion as he loosened my jeans. He reached down for his own belt, and I felt more warm dog breath on my frozen hand. I couldn't believe this was happening. I had been so careful. So fucking careful, and I was going to die in an alley beside my own damn apartment!
I kept hoping that someone would open their window for a cool breeze and catch sight of me down here, but I knew it was a false hope. The only people besides me who lived here were older couples passed out as soon as it started to get dark.
His belt got caught in a loop. I saw my measly chance and I took it. I shoved the arm holding the knife away from me and bolted toward the mouth of the alley. He was fast though, and fisted a hand in my hair yanking me back towards him. Fucking son of a bitch that hurt. I finally let out a scream as his arm encircled me.
"Dammit, I was hoping to have my sweet time with you," he whispered in my ear.
The dog let out a bark, and I felt a white hot pain in my lower back. All I could do was gasp as he let go of my hair. The agony crushed my lungs, and I crumpled to the ground. Pain was radiating out over my whole body; a tidal wave that crashed over me again and again.
I could feel the warmth of my blood pulsing out with each slowing beat of my heart, and I knew I was dying. I was almost relieved. I had struggled through life for so long, and now, I could finally stop worrying. Before I closed my eyes, my slippery vision fell on another large dog at the mouth of the alley. It looked at me and then growled. Who knew Montana had such a canine problem. My eyes finally fell closed and I stopped hurting.
Alright guys this is the first chapter to a story I hope to finish. I've been writing for as long as I can remember, but I can never seem to finish anything... I hope you like the beginning and hope you stick around for the end. Any comments are helpful!! Also please Vote if you like it!!! :)