Apologies is advance for the long chapter!!
Champions League Match Week, number 1.
Today, i play on the same pitch as my best friends, although this time i will be in different colours. This time, i will be in the red and blue of Barcelona. I always want Arsenal to do well, i support the club but today, for these 90 minutes, i no longer support them. That's a hard thing to do and say but it's football. I can't turn up wanting Arsenal to win. I don't want Arsenal to win. I want to win. I want to win, i want Barcelona to win. Arsenal will always be my club but right now, Barcelona is my home, my team and my new family.
I arrived at the ground with my team. I was nervous but nerves are a good thing. I'm going to play my heart out today. I won't stop until i physically can't carry on. I want this. I want this trophy more than anything and i'll fight tooth and nail to get it. I want to win the champions league.
We arrived, went to the changing room before going out to inspect the pitch. Both teams were doing this at the same time. I seen Viv and i couldn't help myself, Viv was standing with Beth. I was with Lieke and Jana. Without any second thoughts i ran towards Viv, who turned around to face me. I jumped into her arms and we stood there, hugging.
When i pulled away, i had tears in my eyes. No one understands how much i have missed Viv. Viv is my hero. She's saved me so many times.
"Hey, Meisje!"
"Viv! I missed you"
"I missed you too, kid. How have you been?"
"I've been good. It's been hard but i'm okay. I've fell in love with the game again and i love this club"
"I'm so happy for you kid. I love you, okay?"
"I love you too, Viv"
"Sorry to interrupt the moment, but where's my hug?"
Beth asked. Me and Viv both laughed. I then embraced Meado in a long hug.
"Missed you my little sister"
"I missed you too, big sis!"
"You're on fire! I'm so proud of you! I could cry!"
"Beth shut up. Thank you though. You're on fire as well. Player of the month? Okayyy"
"Guess you could say that you taught me a few things along the way!"
"Me? Beth you taught me half the things i know!"
"Well. Tonight it's on!"
"May the best Lioness win!"
"It's on kid!"
"That it is. See you after the game, Bethy. Same for you Viv"
I waved bye to my favourite people before saying hi to the rest of my former teammates.
I was left looking for Leah. I couldn't see her, anywhere. I had finally found her but Jonas came over to me. He hugged me.
"Long time no see"
"Hey boss!"
"You're doing great. I'm so proud of you!"
"Yeah. You guys are doing good too! Thank you Jonas!"
"For what?"
"For allowing me to take this opportunity. For not pushing me into staying. For helping me better my career"
"Of course. This move was right for you. You deserve this!"
"Thanks boss!"
I walked away from Jonas. I had seen Leah, she looked at me before turning around and walking down the tunnel. I sighed. I felt my heart sink but i ignored it.
I walked into the changing room and i prepared for this game.
******
I was starting. We lined up. We shook hands. I hugged everyone until Leah approached me.
"have a good game, love"
I said sticking my hand out but she just nodded. She didn't answer or shake my hand. She ignored me and walked past me. Next she got to Alexia who had took note of her previous actions.
"Bit rude don't you think?"
"what?"
"Ignoring her! I don't know what you're playing at but it's not getting you anywhere good!"
Alexia whispered in an angry tone towards Leah who just looked at her before walking off.
As we were walking to have a huddle before kick off, Alexia put an arm around me and pulled me aside.
"Don't let her get to you. Okay?"
"I won't. I'm ready for this. Thank you!"
"Anytime, kid. Anytime"
I smiled at her. We had a huddle. Then we were in position to start. Alexia started the game by passing the ball to me.
"So.. Roberts is back. She's playing against her childhood club. What might she be feeling right now?"
"Mixed emotions i'd assume. Sophie is a real professional. She's young but she's a professional. She will want to win. When both teams were out inspecting the pitch, i think everyone got a little emotional seeing the way Sophie ran up to Viv. I think that just shows how close the two are. Roberts will want this. She wants this competition and she will fight for it. She won't let her old club stand in the way of her achieving her dreams. She's no longer an Arsenal player. She's a Barca player now"
"How do you think her move has gone?"
"Absolutely brilliantly. That girl is flying. Her and Alexia putellas on the pitch are such a deadly duo. They pull the strings. What is it, nine goals in five games for the young star? Whatever it is, it's amazing. Considering she's never left London, she doesn't speak Spanish and Arsenal is all she'd known. She's doing brilliantly. I'm sure everyone at Arsenal is so proud of her!"
From the First minute right up until the thirty first minute. We were controlling the game. Arsenal couldn't get a foot hold in the match. They couldn't deal with our press and passing. We were playing some of the best football possible but the score remained goalless until the thirty first minute.
Alexia had the ball. I made eye contact with her once and she nodded, knowing what i wanted. I ran past Beatie and i remained onside. Alexia played this outstanding ball right through the heart of Arsenals defence. I was 1 on 1 with Manu and Leah was behind me. Leah, i felt push me but i stayed on my feet and buried the ball into the back of the net. The fans in the stadium cheered but i didn't do anything wild. I didn't celebrate. I was happy. I smiled but i didn't run, shout or knee slide. Instead i jogged over to Alexia and hugged her. 1-0 to us. I had scored against my former club.
"It's 1-0 to Barcelona who have controlled the game since the start. Roberts got the goal. She didn't celebrate either."
"Arsenal can't handle Barcelona. No one can, Barcelona are levels above every other woman's side. They are such a joyful team to watch. I would hate to play them. Look, like i said, Roberts is a professional. She respected her former club. Sometimes, your emotions from scoring take over and you can't help but celebrate. This is her first goal in the Champions League for her new club but she was respectful and didn't celebrate. But, that pass from Putellas sums up why she's the best in the world. That was absolutely phenomenal. Breathtaking"
After the goal, nothing changed. We remained in charge of the game. Despite it only being 1-0 we were very comfortable. In the forty first minute i received the ball from Mapi. I saw Caro and Lieke making runs but they were both offside. I looked around and seen Alexia running. I looked at Lieke but passed to Alexia, fooling Arsenals back line. Alexia, who was outside the box, took a shot and- well, you can guess what happened next.
That's right. 2-0 to us in the 41st minute. Alexia ran to me. I think i celebrated more for her goal than i did for mines. We are in cruise control.
"BRILLIANT. I spoke about them before the game and i'll do it again now. Alexia Putellas and Sophie Roberts are unstoppable. Two goals for Barca. One assist for Putellas. One goal for Putellas. One assist for Roberts and One goal for Roberts. I don't know what else to say. They're absolutely flying this season and right now. They're so dangerous. Wow."
The first half had come and gone. We were absolutely flying. We were playing beautiful football. Manu has been crucial for Arsenal so far. She's definitely kept them in it. We went in at half time and came out expecting Arsenal to fight for it.
It didn't take us long though, two minutes into the second half, and we were three goals up. This time Rolfö had gotten herself onto the score sheet, with an absolute rocket of a shot. Rolfö stole the ball from Iwabuchi. She cut onto her weaker foot. She was outside of the box and took the shot on. It hit the post but went in. I ran to her and jumped into her arms. What a peach of a goal that was.
"Rolfö. Cracker. What a finish! Barcelona are three goals up here!"
Arsenal had got a goal back in the 74th minute. They got their goal through Maanum. It was disappointing for us as that was the first goal we had conceded all season and it was disappointing because of our control of the game. We restored out three goal lead in the 88th minute. I played a ball to Lieke who made no mistake and fired it into the roof of the net.
******
The game had ended. 4-1 to us. We have started the Champions League campaign off with three points. I was so happy. After the final whistle had blown, i went over to the fans who i can understand a lot better now. I took photos and gave signatures.
I was wanted for an interview. Thankfully this time, it was going to be in English.
"Sophie. What a start. three points. one goal and two assists. How does it feel?"
"Yeah, it feels good. We came into this game wanting nothing short of the three points up for grabs and i think we controlled the game from start to finish. We were dominant and i'm really pleased and proud to get my first Champions League goal for this club"
"You didn't celebrate your goal. You celebrated your teammates goals more than yours. What's the reasoning behind that?"
"I was happy i scored but i was at Arsenal for seven years. That's a long time. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for that club, so in a way, i owe them the world. I didn't want to celebrate. I wanted to respect the club that has helped me in so many ways."
"You and Alexia Putellas just seem to know what each other want. It's brilliant to watch!"
"Yeah, me and Alexia have a really special bond on the pitch but also off the pitch and i think that's so important. Off pitch relationships are just as if not more important than on pitch relationships. If you have a good bond with someone off the pitch, that bond will carry onto the pitch and showcase in the game. But yeah, i always know what she wants and she knows what i want. It's good to have that with someone. I really enjoy playing in-front of her. She's the best player in the world for a reason and i think her assist today was a reminder of how amazing she really is!"
"Thank you"
"Thanks"
After my interview, i had two last things to do. After i had said goodbye to my teammates i made sure to speak to Viv. Tears were shed. Mainly from me but from her as well. Me and Viv also swapped shirts. I gave her my Barca one and she gave me her Arsenal one which i had on as she had mines on. Me and Viv were on the pitch. We were walking and she had her arm around me. I'm sure the media is picking this up.
"You've really improved Sophie. At this rate, soon you'll be the best player in the world!"
"Thanks Viv. I just miss you, y'know?"
"Of course i do. I miss you so much but i know we will meet again. See in the future, we will play together again and i know it. Wether it's for Arsenal or not, i know we will. Just know, i'm watching all of your games cheering you on! I'm your biggest supporter Soph. I'm so proud of you"
Viv kissed the top of my head.
"Tell Lisa i miss her. Tell her, i'll book you guys a trip to Spain soon. I love you with all my heart Viv"
"She will be over the moon with that. I love you too"
"Do you know where she is?"
"Yeah. Right there"
Viv pointed towards the tunnel where i saw Leah. I saw her talking to Jordan. Viv nodded at me. We shared one last hug before separating. I rushed- speed walked, kind of. Towards Leah and Jordan. Viv got to the tunnel first and pulled Jordan away. I arrived and pulled Leah out onto the pitch.
"We need to talk Leah"
Leah just nodded. We both sat down on the pitch, looking at each other.
"This is getting out of hand. What the fuck is going on?"
I asked Leah. I was getting impatient.
"what are you talking about?"
"Cut the shit Leah. I've been here for two months and you've barley spoken to me. You rarely text and when you do you're dry. You don't call, ever and i asked to meet up and you lie to me? And on top of that you ignore me when i try to be nice and shake your hand at the start of the game? Either spit the truth or i'll get up and leave!"
"there's no truth to spit! I didn't lie!"
"Leah last fucking chance. I'm not doing this. Don't think Viv doesn't tell me! You did lie! You weren't doing anything! Last chance, Leah or i'll leave. What the fuck is going on with you?"
"I miss you!"
"Yeah and i miss you too but i don't ignore you. Leah, i sat there, trying to talk to you but you ignore me. It breaks my heart. Every single time!"
"Well, i was scared. Scared that if we spoke i would break up with you or you would break up with me!"
"I told you when i was leaving that i wasn't going to end it with you! My feelings haven't changed. I won't end it with you! But if you feel like you can no longer do this or that you no longer want to do this, and you would rather be with Jordan then end it!"
Leah just stared at me.
"Jordan? Is this all seriously about Jordan?"
"None of it's about Jordan. It's about you ignoring me day in day out. But, don't think i don't notice things! You and her are so close! Leah it hurts that i can't hold you in my arms! It hurts like hell but what makes it worse is seeing fans ship the two of you when me and you are together! That, Leah! That hurts!"
"I can't stop them from shipping us. You and Alexia are all over each other! i notice things too!
I began getting angry.
"Alexia is in a relationship! Don't try and turn this on me. We both know how much i love you! I'm not doing this Leah!"
"So.. You're what- You're just giving up on us?"
"No! I'm not, i never will but this is clearly a waste of my time as we aren't getting anywhere!"
"You're the one getting angry and frustrated!"
"I'm angry and frustrated because you keep lying to me! I miss you so much! It hurts when the person you love lies to you and ignores you! I'm not doing this Leah!"
"So where does this leave us?"
"I don't know. You can decide. I love you and i always will but i don't know how you feel. I don't. Not anymore"
"I still love you. Of course i do!"
"well maybe you should act like it. Goodbye Leah"
"Sop-"
"Look, Jordan's waiting for you. Have fun, Leah"
I said as i saw Jordan standing in the tunnel.
"I promise you i'm not with Jordan. I don't like Jordan. My hearts set on you"
"Okay. I believe you. You can decide what the future holds for us. Tell me whenever you know. See you later, i guess"
Leah nodded and walked away. She walked to Jordan before they walked down the tunnel together. I stood up and just started crying. When i'm finally happy. When everything in my life is going well, something always has to ruin it.
I looked around the stadium in tears before i walked down the tunnel and into the changing room. I walked in to loud music and people singing and dancing. Everyone was celebrating. Everyone was happy and i was crying my heart out. I changed out of my shorts, socks and boots. Putting on leggings and air force. I kept Viv's shirt on and sat down. I put my shirt over my face and just cried until i felt a hand on my back. It was Alexia.
"What to talk?"
I nodded and we left the changing room.
"You alright?"
I shook my head and started crying in Alexia's arms.
"Hey, what's happened?"
"i think i'm going to lose her"
"Leah?"
I nodded.
"No, why do you think that?"
"i spoke to her. It didn't go well. I got angry and started yelling but i was angry because she lied to me and wouldn't talk to me. Was i in the wrong?"
"doesn't sound like you were and from what i seen today, no. She ignored you when you tried to shake her hand which is very unsportsmanlike so no, you're not in the wrong. Look, let the world sort it out. You've had one hell of a day and you deserve to celebrate it with the people who love everything about you. I know how hard today was for you. The way you ran up to Miedema was adorable. Gosh, i almost started crying. I know today wasn't easy but you killed it. You played your little heart out right up until the final whistle. Your amazing. You're pure talent, kid. You've got the world at your feet and you can't let anyone or anything stop you. Whatever you go through, i go through. We are in this together. We're a team"
I hugged her, not knowing what to say.
"Thank you, Alexia. Thank you for everything. I appreciate it so much. Te quiero"
I love you
"yo también te amo"
I love you too.
******
After that moment. I done what Alexia said. I celebrated with the people who support me and love me. I celebrated with my team and my people. I had a good time until it was time to go home. I went home with Alexia, Caro and Jenni, who was staying the night. Me and Caro messed about in the back of the car until we arrived home.
I went for a shower, got changed. I posted on instagram and looked at a few posts before going to bed.
@sophieroberts
So Proud to have scored my first Champions League goal for this great club. What a team performance. Three points on match week one! To the fans, once again you guys were amazing. Thank you for the continued support.
Vamos Barça❤️💙
Arsenal fans, thank you. Today wasn't easy but it's football. Arsenal will always be my team but right now, my home is Barcelona. My club is Barcelona and i'll fight for the badge until the day my journey at Barca ends. It was so good to see my favourite people again after so long. Thank you, Gooners❤️
@alexiaps94
Champion's League Nights🤩
Vamos Barça❤️💙
sophieroberts - Mi capitana🪄
My captain
@viviannemiedema
Missed you my friend🧡 So good to see you again and watch you shine in your new colours! Let's go kiddo❤️
@sophieroberts
sophieroberts - forever my favourite person❤️
@fcbfemeni
Buena victoria hoy. Vamos Barça. Felicitaciones a Sophie Roberts por su primer gol en la liga de campeones para el mejor club del mundo❤️💙
Good victory today. Come on Barca. Congratulations Sophie Roberts on her first champions league goal for the best club in the world❤️💙
@roberson.arsenalcouples
We lost today💔 Good to see Sophie again. Her and Viv before the game melted my heart and seeing them walk around the pitch together after the game was so cute. I love them, they're so amazing. Viv protects Sophie with her all and it's so cute to see. Putellas and Sophie ran the show again, i'm starting to wonder if anyone can actually stop them. They're unbelievable together. Respect Sophie for not celebrating and showing respect to her former team although i'm so happy for her. She was brilliant once again today.
The Roberson moment at the start of the game when Sophie stuck her hand out and Leah just ignored her broke my heart. Alexia said something to Leah though. Alexia and Viv both protecting Sophie🥰🥰🥰
After the game the couple were seen arguing on the pitch. I really hope they're okay and Sophie was seen walking down the tunnel crying after Leah had left to go with Jordan.
I really hope they're okay and all these fans shipping Leah and Jordan need to learn what respect is! Leah and Sophie are in a happy relationship and no one should be trying to ruin that! It's not right.
Disappointing night but class from our former Gooner.
Once a gooner, Always a gooner, Right @sophieroberts?