I didn't even notice it but a month already flew by, it felt like a decade for me.
Well, nothing interesting happened anyway. Just the usual of me rarely going outside as well as spending little time with Ning and the others, though it's strange.
That past month, ever since that incident back in Jeju. Karina began to slowly stray away from us, spending her free time mostly with her boyfriend.
That's when I thought, that call must've been from Kai.
I wonder what's it about? My guess, it's probably something relating to that thing we talked about back at the mansion.
Not that I feel anything about it, right now I'm blank as a canvas... I couldn't care less anymore.
Nonetheless, nothing seems to be any problem with is so I shrugged it off. I understand both of their situations, and it's not my job to be nosy about it anyway.
"Do you think we'll ever be successful in the future?"
Ryujin who was beside me asked whilst sipping on her juice box, and I don't even remember how I ended up hanging out with her instead of Ning and the others.
I shrugged, "I've considered becoming a nun."
"Pfft, seriously?"
"Well, I rarely feel anything so I guess it wouldn't have that much of an impact- Wait, why am I even here with you again?"
Presently, the two of us are seated by the sports field. Not sure what we're doing here, but I guess it had something to do with the cheerleaders practicing in front of us.
Ryujin laughed, "I helped you escape becoming a third wheel."
"Ha?"
"Don't you think it's a bit awkward to be grouped with four of your friends who are dating, then there's you being all single?"
"Oh, I've never thought about that."
Now that she mentioned it, earlier I was walking with my three closest friends and Kai who seemed to be getting closer with Karina these days.
Like a normal person who had feelings for someone within the group, I should've opposed him hanging with us.
But the thing is... I'm not normal, and I didn't appear to feel anything about it so it was fine.
Therefore, the thought of something awkward of me tagging along didn't really hit me. Well, not until Ryujin just said it.
"That thought never came to me since I rarely felt anything."
"Sometimes I pity you. Like if I were you... I'd be screaming from embarrassment right now."
I snickered whilst lightly pushing her shoulder, "Shut the fuck up."
"Right." Ryujin chuckled before crossing her arms in thought, "But you know what's weird?"
"What?"
"The past month, whenever we queue up in-game you're not acting like your usual self."
"Ahhh, is that so?"
"See?!" Ryujin pointed at me, "You're doing it again!"
"Yeah?"
"You look lifeless, I'm aware that you have that condition of yours— but this is just odd."
I chuckled, "Thanks for the worry, but I'm fine."
Hearing my confirmation, Ryujin released a huge sigh before shrugging off her thoughts. Eventually, the two of us stopped talking and pulled out our phones to play a game.
"Though hey, what are we doing here at this exact spot?" I glanced at the cheerleaders practicing in front of us.
"Remember what I told you about the fifty thingies?"
"Mhm."
Ryujin smiled at the thought, "I've been on the lookout since it's my last one."
"What are you going to do with those fifty things?"
"Duh, use it to my advantage!"
"Sorry but, what if it doesn't do anything?"
With that being said, Ryujin instantly died in-game which caused her to burst out in laughter.
"Would it kill you to consider someone's feelings?"
"Errm, sorry I don't understand anything."
Rolling her eyes, Ryujin snatched my phone and turned it off. Immediate after, she hooked her arm around my shoulder and looked at the distance.
That was abrupt.
"I was just about to win that round..."
"Not sorry~" Ryujin chuckled, "Anyway, how about me and you have a little small talk about feelings no?"
"No ew."
"It's not that ba-"
*THUD*
Out of nowhere, a ball suddenly struck Ryujin's shoulder causing her to wince in pain and back away from me. I raised my brows in shock, quickly scooting to her side to check if she was alright.
"Oh cool, you're okay."
"Ugh, I'm not even going to complain how you're not reacting anymore."
She painfully moved her shoulder in a circle-like motion to somehow ease the pain. As I averted my gaze on the ball beside Ryujin, I picked it up and glanced at the people in the distance who seemed to be running towards our way.
"Ryujin! Are you okay?!" a girl suddenly kneeled beside her worriedly.
When Ryujin noticed this girl's presence, I noticed how she tensed up and stuck her eyes on the ground, probably panicking inside?
Must be that girl she's been talking about.
"I'm sorry!" another girl appeared in front of us.
This person had caramel-ish hair, she looked very sincere while looking at injured Ryujin. Although the moment she laid eyes on me, she flinched and narrowed her eyes.
"MJ?"
I blinked my eyes rapidly, "Did I hear you right?"
Seems like Ryujin heard what this person said as she jolted up as if the pain she had disappeared, then stared at the girl with suspicion.
On the other hand, I sat in place and stared at the brunette still in disbelief.
Ryujin pointed at the girl, "You're SK! Aren't you!?"
The other girl beside Ryujin stood up and released a huge gasp, "You and Sakura knew each other?"
Ryujin smirked, "So SK stands for Sakura huh?"
The brunette could only sigh and nod her head slowly, what an unexpected event indeed. I've never thought our meeting would be like this, how fun.
———————————————
Unexpectedly, after that abrupt meeting. I ended up walking to class with Sakura since both of us had the same one.
While walking together, she told me more about herself.
Her name is Miyawaki Sakura, she's a part of the campus cheerleading team and apparently teammates with Ryujin's crush.
Speaking of Ryujin, earlier she was brought to the infirmary to get her now probably swollen shoulder treated.
I was glad that happened, if it didn't... then we might've ended up talking about feelings and some shit.
That girl's going to cause even more confusion in me.
"You're one of the popular people huh?"
Sakura tilted her head in denial, "I'm not sure about that." she laughed. "You should come and see me without all of this fashionable get-up, plus I'm only in the team for the scholarship."
Talking on the way, both of us finally arrived in front of the classroom door. We were about to step inside, well not until I saw three familiar figures who halted their steps to look at me with surprised eyes.
Fortunately, Sakura was quick to understand what was happening. So she whispered to my ear, telling me that she's going to go ahead and take her usual seat.
Looking at Karina, I could see her gazing at me intently though with a poker face that didn't look anything out of the ordinary.
Before I knew it, my heart began to beat abnormally fast... no I wasn't flustered, rather I think I'm nervous?
The more I think about it the faster my heart beats. My body wasn't hot because of the hot weather but from the amount of blood, my heart was pumping.
"Looks like Minjie's getting a lot of new good friends lately," Ning said whilst quoting the word friends with her fingers.
"We're friends, yeah... but we just met today."
Aeri chuckled, "Does that even make any sense?"
I sighed, "I'll tell you guys later after class."
Karina looked at her wristwatch, "Well, it looks like class is about to start."
Not to my expectations, she walked to my side and grabbed my hand. Just as when I'm slowly reverting to my emotionless self, damn...
It's funny how this person is often the one who'd confuse me, it's been a while since she touched me like this too.
A week?
Wow, I really counted.
Anyway, the couple in front of us smiled teasingly before biding their farewells, leaving our sight.
When we were left alone, I could sense an alerting aura beside me. But like the usual... I didn't react and merely turned my head to look at Karina blankly.
"I was only away for a week and you're already getting along with people?" she suddenly glared at me.
And there it goes, confusion appeared once again.
Unable to feel anything besides the nervous beats of my heart, I patted her shoulder with my other hand and gave her a stoic smile.
"That was SK."
Karina pouted, "I hope you're telling the truth."
"What's there to hide? What's to reveal? Why would you wanna know anyway?"
"Because I don't want any more competition?" Karina groaned, "Sicheng is enough, and it's sometimes dead awkward back at the mansion whenever I visit my other four brothers."
After hearing such revelation, I felt my lips curling by themselves. Thankfully, I quickly suppressed this before Karina turned her head to look at me.
I was about to slip away from her grip, but that was instantly stopped when Karina pulled me with her inside the classroom.
This caused a lot of attention from the students which made me lower my head and look down the floor as we walk towards our usual seats.
Unlike before, these students used to talk bad about me whenever they see me tagging along with their Goddess.
Now, I'm glad all of that toned down, no one really cared ever since my mother shortened my hair. Some even attempted to befriend me, but like always... I pushed them away.
I don't regret anything at all.
Just in time when the both of us took our seats, the professor arrived and immediately wrote something that looked like a formula on the whiteboard.
We're studying art, why the fuck do we need to learn anything math-related again?
Soon after realizing what the professor wrote, all of the students groaned in displeasure. For the first time in forever, I can relate to them finally.
"This is not hard." The professor tapped on the board, "This is just some light chemistry which we're going to talk about today, trust me... It'll help with your artworks in terms of preserving and more."
I laid my chin on my palm, then casually raised my hand. "Chemistry... Sir, I don't think I'll do well."
"I'm aware of your condition no worries." The professor chuckled, "But please do just think of it like your first love or something, it's that easy."
"I'll try...?"
Hearing that particular word, I found myself stealing a glance from Karina who seemed to be interested in the topic, diligently writing notes on her notebook.
Deja vu all over again.
I don't know why but, somehow it suddenly made me think...
I wonder what are my feelings towards Karina? I'm still quite confused, unsure.
No matter the formula I use I don't get it.
Although, I knew for sure... I love her— but what exactly is it?
Even when I found that out I couldn't figure out, what kind of "love" is the one I feel?
As a friend?
Admiration?
Or something else?
My head's gone in circles since then and I wasn't able to move forward, a bunch of empty things happened the past month. Things I wouldn't have probably understood.
Today's lesson certainly slapped a lot of sense into me, how troublesome.
In the end, my mind had just been full of Karina; during class and even in the next one which was PE, nothing else entered my mind.
I was told to go home early since a spiked ball hit my face making my nose swell and even bleed. Of course, I didn't show anyone the bleeding part.
I deceived my classmates and teachers by saying "I was spacing out due to the heat", but my mind was truthfully just full of Karina.
Strange, this is the first.
Fortunately, Karina was absent due to some family matter when I got hurt earlier... that would've been so problematic for me since I don't think she'd believe my reason.
"Should we go to the hospital?!" my brother half-yelled whilst gripping onto the steering wheel firmly.
"Doyoungie, I'm fine... I was spacing out."
"That's rare of you, your focus is top tier."
"It was hot."
"Minjeong, it's autumn."
I shrugged, "It was hot."
"I think we should go and visit Mr. Han for the first time in a while..."
"I'm aware, but I'm not going crazy."
"Are you?"
"I'm stable, please piss off."
Doyoung laughed as he pinched my cheek softly before stepping on the pedal to drive off, "It was a joke, I know you wouldn't berserk like that anymore."
"I'm taking my pills again, the stings are not happening since then."
"You've been more expressionless lately, so I hope that's right."
I chuckled, "You're such a worrywart."