Lauren's POV
Every day consists of 24 hours. There are 60 minutes within every hour. 60 seconds in minute. It’s only been 2 days, 48 hours, or 2,880 minutes since Camila called it quits. Every minute that passes gets harder and harder to bear without her, knowing she isn’t mine. I can’t hold her, kiss her and most of all tell her that I love her. I don’t know how long I could take this pain. I never felt this way before. I can’t eat, sleep, and think, I basically cannot function.
She won’t even let me explain. If she just hears me out she would understand. I did this for her. All I wanted to do is be the best girlfriend I could be and give her everything she’d been dreaming of. I saved up all my money from babysitting, allowance, and birthday money on Camila’s big party. I missed 2 days of school because I couldn’t stand to see her. I couldn’t stand to see her hurt, I would only try to make things better but clearly she doesn’t want anything to do with me.
It was now Friday afternoon, thank goodness because I’m not ready to go back to school. I don’t think I will ever be ready. I was lying in bed wrapped in all my blankets and I had all the blinds closed. I’d isolated myself from the world. I purposely turned off my phone. I haven’t spoken to anyone in 2 days. I didn’t want to speak or hear from anyone, only Camila; but I knew she wouldn’t talk to me.
My parents tried getting me to eat and talk but there’s nothing to say. I would sit at the dinner table empty, hardly touch my food and sit there without a word. I mean how am I supposed to tell my family I can’t function without the girl I’m madly in love with? Is it even possible to explain something so complicated as my situation? I’ve been using marijuana for the past 2 days to forget and be care free. But it doesn’t help. I’ve hit rock bottom.
My thoughts were interrupted when all of a sudden I see someone walk into my room and open up the certain to let the sun in. I quickly covered my face. A familiar voice started talking to me.
“Laur, this isn’t good for you. Staying in bed isn’t going to help make this any better. Why don’t we go out to eat and talk? Get some fresh air. We can go to your favorite place?” It was my best friend Alexa. She sat next to me and tried moving the blankets to see my face. But I pulled them even harder. Eventually she got me too look at her. She was worried. But I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything anymore.
“Stop. I can’t ok. I’m not hungry.” As if right on time my stomach started grueling. I tried covering my face because I didn’t want her to see me so fragile. I’m never this fragile. I used to be popular and class president. Everything went my way; there was never a sad day in my life.
“Look at you Lauren! Your eyes are so irritated and you look dehydrated from all the crying. You haven’t showered. You hardly even eat!!” She said a bit more loudly but I could see the concern in her eyes. I wanted to fight back but I couldn’t all I did was cry. I cried and cried, hysterically actually. I thought I couldn’t cry anymore but boy I was wrong.
“I’ll be right back okay I’m going to make you something to eat.” She left the room and headed down stairs.
After a while I stopped crying because I realized what I could do to numb the pain. I quickly got out of my bed and went to my bottom dresser where I have my little bag of cocaine. I lay it on the table and get my I.D card to separate how much I was going to take. I got the little tub and put it near my nose ready to inhale.
“LAUREN!!” my best friend yelled at me and took the drugs away. I didn’t get to do it so I started crying again.
“You don’t understand the pain I’m in. Everything hurts. I’m tried of feeling like this! I’ve does it before it’s not going to kill me and if it did so what there’s no point in living because Camila is my life!” she didn’t answer all she did was hug me. I lost it. I cried so much I collapsed in her arms.
I later woke up on my bed and Alexa was lying down next to me. I tried sitting up rubbing my eyes. I looked at her trying to remember what happened and I realized everything. I instantly felt ashamed screaming at my best friend when she’d been nothing but good to me.
“What time is it? Shouldn’t you be at school?” was the first thing I said when I really should be apologizing
“It’s 3 in the afternoon and you need me more so I’m here. One day won’t kill me.. Here I made you a sandwich” she handed me the food with a beverage.
“I’m sorry about earlier it’s just that I don’t know what to do. How do you move on from someone you love who doesn’t love you back?” I took the first bite of my food and reached for a napkin. It felt so good to eat.
“She told you that?” She asked.
“She broke up with me when I asked her if she loved me” I took a sip of my drink and set it back down.
“Did she tell you explicitly tell you that she doesn’t love you?”
“Well..No.. but she-” I was cut off.
“Then she still loves you. She’s just hurt Lauren. What just happened earlier, you yelled at me because you were hurt. She said things she might have not meant but she isn’t ready. Lauren you know you were her first girlfriend; relationship.”
I took some time to think about what she said. I wanted to respond but I couldn’t. The words didn’t want to leave my mouth. Thank goodness she spoke again.
“What you going to do about the party. I know you paid in advance for most things already. Why don’t you continue your plan?” she expressed her idea.
“What’s the point? Not like she will come” I set the sandwich down after another bite. I didn’t feel like eating, like always.
“Well maybe if her best friend, what’s her name.. Dinah, asked her to come without knowing it from you until she arrives. Maybe just maybe she will take you back.” She looked to look at me. There was a small smile on my face. My eyes lit up.
“You think that would work!?” I asked hoping.
“Doesn’t hurt to try, you paid for most of it anyways right?” That’s when I knew there was hope. All I need to do is get Dinah to agree and get Camz to attend the party.
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I finally came to school Monday. All weekend I was finalizing the Birthday plans with Vero and Alexa so I can let Dinah on it later. I tried to see if things with Camila were better. They weren’t. She would just completely ignore me. I greeted her in the morning telling her to have a great day. When I saw her walking around school and she happen to walk pass me I smiled at her just to see her beautiful smile again.
The worst part is she wouldn’t even acknowledge me. She practically acted as if I didn’t exist. I should have expected this but my heart still broke even more if that was even possible.
I made plans with Dinah to meet me after school to tell her what I’ve been planning. She seemed to like the idea of it. I told her the theme, the time, who to invite, what Camila should wear. I also informed her to let Normani into the plan.
I basically told her every single detail to make sure everything goes perfect. It needs to be perfect because this is probably the only chance I will have to get Camila back. This is the love of life for crying out loud.
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Camila’s POV
Finally my Birthday came around. I thought today was finally going to be the day I could distract myself from Lauren. I just wanted to spend time with my closest friends watching Netflix and eating pizza. Unfortunately I was out shopping with Dinah at the mall early today. She kept mentioning something about a surprise and to not question her, just to do what she says. Dinah insisted on buying me a new outfit. All she told me was we were going to take professional pictures once we get to her house.
We were there for what seems like forever looking for an outfit. With every outfit that I tried on Lauren kept popping into my head. As if I was wondering if she would approve of my dress. That’s when I realized it was noon and I still haven’t received a Happy Birthday call from Lauren or a simple text. I know I shouldn’t be expecting one because I told her not to talk to me. Something inside me just wished she would wish me a Happy Birthday.
After trying on a couple more dresses my phone started ringing. I quickly went to my bag to see who was calling. It was Lauren. I was tempted to answer but I didn’t, I let it go to voice mail. Seconds later my phone indicated I had a voice mail. My heart stopped. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to hear it. What if I end up missing her more and ruin my day? What if she tells me something I don’t want to hear wishing me to go to hell because I ignore her? After gathering my thoughts I hit play to listen to it because after all I did want her to call:
“I know I’m probably the last person on this earth you want to hear right now. I have been debating whether or not to call you because you told me not to. I came to the conclusion of calling you anyway because I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to tell the love of my life Happy Birthday. You deserve everything in this world and more, especially love. That is why I will never stop trying, I will not give up Camzi.. I Love you.”
I could hear her voice cracking with every word. Her message was so sincere; I knew she wasn’t lying. She loved me. I didn’t realize tears were running down my face. I looked in the mirror to see the dress I was trying on and that’s how I knew it was the one. Lauren would have loved it.
Dinah started to rush me saying we still need to do our hair and makeup. I kept thinking about Lauren voice mail but not too long cause I didn’t want Dinah to ask if something was bothering me when something truly was on my mind. I miss her.
The next couple of hours were pretty uneventful. Normani met Dinah and I at the mall to finish getting ready. We got our nails, hair and makeup done. I was assuming whatever Dinah was planning was going to be big. It actually felt kind of nice to have all those things done, we had girl bonding time. Finally we were ready and headed to Dinah’s house to meet the photographers.
As soon as I walk in her house I see flowers and candles everywhere. At the corner of the house there was a chocolate fountain with a fruit stand. There were also a couple of tables with food especially Pizza; my favorite. Everything was incredibly beautiful. “Wow, Dinah you did all this for me? This is perfect.” I had a huge smile on my face. I probably looked like an idiot.
I walked further into the house and once we reached the back yard music started playing. It sounded different from that a Dj usually plays.. It was… A concert!? “Is that DEMI!?” my smile grew wider if that was even possible. I saw Dinah nod with a smile. “Thank you! You are the greatest, best friend I could ever ask for! This feels like a dream!”
“Mila, don’t thank me, thank Lauren, she’s been planning this for over a month” she said to me.
Lauren? But we aren’t even together anymore. Is this was she meant in her voice mail when she.. My thoughts were cut off before I could respond to my best friend because I heard Demi stop singing.
“I want to wish Camila Cabello a Happy Birthday! Everyone give it up for the Birthday Girl!” a bunch of people started screaming of joy and happiness. “Come up here Camila!” Demi gestured to come up on stage with her. As I slowly made my way to the stage she spoke again. “Help me sing guys” The next thing you know she was singing me happy birthday.
When I finally reached the stage Demi gave me a hug and sang the rest of the song to me in front of a couple of my friends and other people who attended the party. It was taking me a long time to process what was happening. It was the greatest feeling ever having to see Demi, my idol, at MY birthday party. But I couldn’t stop thinking about what Dinah said about Lauren, did she really do all of this?
“I want to thank Lauren Jauregui having me come out tonight and celebrate Camila.. Now who’s ready for another song? Let’s get this night started” she started singing. So it’s true, it was Lauren who did this. I made my way down the stage, that’s where I saw Lauren holding single rose with a small smile. She looked incredible I don’t think I will ever get over how beautiful she is.
“Happy Birthday Camz” She handed me the rose and gave me a soft kiss on the cheek.
“Thank you” I said and she gave a small smile which I reciprocated. We locked eyes but didn’t say a word. She was about to turn and walk away but I stopped her. “Why?.. Why did you do through this whole trouble, we aren’t even together anymore. Do you think one concert will make me forgive you?” I shouldn’t have said it as cold as it sounded but I felt like I needed to let her know what I was thinking.
“No, not entirely. I just love seeing you happy. Demi makes you happy; it’s my birthday present to you Camz. That smile is all that matters to me. I’m sorry again for what you think I did. I do truly love you. I told you to tell me if don’t love me I would leave you alone. You never told me you didn’t love me, so like I said in the voicemail I left you, if you heard it, I will never stop trying unless you tell me you don’t love me anymore.” She said looking directly into my eyes, there is truth to her story, and her beautiful green eyes say it all.
What Lauren doesn’t know is that I’ve already forgiven her. Dinah explain to me what happened, I started asking around and it so happen to be true, Lauren was always faithful. The bad part is I didn’t find out until only a couple days ago. But since I thought Lauren stop trying I thought it was completely over.
Without giving it a second thought I instantly connected my lips with hers. She was in shock but it didn’t take her too long before she kissed back. We both had our eyes closed enjoying the kiss which reunited and connected us emotionally when words cant. The kiss was soft and full of passionate mixed with so much other emotions. I could feel her tears falling down her face and onto my cheeks.
The kiss slowly got more heated as she tightens her grip around my waist pulling me closer. I wrap my arms around her neck to deepen the kiss. We kissed until air was needed. It’s as if we kissed to make up for all those days we spent apart. She rested her head against mine. When I opened my eyes she was wearing the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. “I love you too, Lo” was all that I could managed to say.
“Camz does this mean..”
I nodded and responded “I’ve always been yours, and I still am.”