A/N: I understand that it's a bit difficult to understand the Nigerian Pidgin being used in the characters conversations which is why I've taken out the time to translate them. If you get confused about anything you can scroll down and check the meaning. If you're not clear on the meaning, you can always ask me. Writing a story about Nigerian characters isn't complete without Pidgin because virtually everyone in the country speaks it.
"I'm sorry!" Patricia shook her friend's hands with pleading eyes. The girl was sitting on her bed in her self contained room, grudgingly licking the ice cream and cake she bought for her as an apology. Yet, she was giving her the cold shoulder. It had been a week since the "life threathening incident" as Flora liked to call it. Her friend deliberately avoided her during the past week. She didn't even bother to speak to her as she usually would after service on Sunday. Today was Wednesday and luckily a free day for them. Now she had the time to talk to the girl properly and beg for her forgiveness.
Honestly, Patricia knew that if the girl was truly angry with her, she wouldn't have let her into her room. The fact she was eating what she bought was another indicator that she was just milking her apologetic mood. "Babe na. Nor vex."
"I dey vex o. How you go kiss me in front of everyone in the hospital?"
"Jesus! Flora!"
"What?"
Patricia tried not to laugh at the girl's suppressed laughter. She could hear the amusement in the girl's voice. She knew what she was doing. Kissed her in front of everyone in the- damn what an exaggeration! "Oya, don't be offended. What can I do to make it up to you?"
"Buy me one carton of Springles and sharwama. Then take me to Mat Ice, buy me sausage roll and order Coldstone from Jumia for me."
"Would you like me to bring the cloud to the earth also for you, my Lady?"
Flora almost choked on her last spoon of ice cream.
"Amen," Patricia chorused immediately the girl started coughing, signifying that she wanted her to choke.
"If I slap you, Patty!" The light skinned girl heaved, hand on her chest, eyes teary from coughing violently. "Shey you want me to choke bayi?"
"Yes."
"Jesus."
"Do you know how long I've been sitting here begging you? Be there pretending as if you are angry after you have finished my ice cream and cake. Now you want to bill me like this? How will you not choke? How will my God not choke you?"
Flora laughed. "You are mad."
"I learnt from the best." She knelt down and bowed for her friend. "I hail you, craze woman."
"Shey pastor preached on the power of the tongue on Sunday this girl? Season your tongue with salt and watch what you say, boss. I will report you to pastor Seyi."
Patricia hissed. "You know how many people you don curse since Sunday morning? That girl you exchanged words with before we entered into your room today unkor? Shift joor."
"No, you nor suppose add Benedicta matter. That girl dey mad. She's a fool I swear-"
"Season your tongue with salt, sister Flora," Patricia teased.
Flora glared at her friend, tongue tied. Nothing stung more than a person using your own words against you. "Okay na. 1 - 0."
"Actually, it's 2 - 0. My ice cream and cake."
Silence.
"Oya, Patricia, dey go house." Flora stood up, clapping her hands together with urgency. "Oya, oya, oya. Get up and start going."
Patricia laughed when the girl started pulling at her hand. She leaned backwards as if she wanted to lay down until her back actually touched the ground. She quickly relaxed her body to increase her weight.
"Jesus Christ. Patty, you heavy o."
"I'm not heavy please. I have weight."
Flora snickered. They had been taught since their second year that human beings or living things could only be heavy when they no longer had life in them. "Heavy mama." She jiggled the girl's boobs, knowing she hated that.
Patricia immediately slapped the girl's hand and stood up with the speed of lightning to run after the girl that had left her room screaming loudly.
Flora wasn't a good runner so she was soon caught. She screamed when her friend slapped her bum a number of times and held her in a headlock. "Rape! Rape o!"
"Shut up there, idiot! After you don look for trouble."
Patricia could recognize the voice of the Gorvo (governor or overseer) of Captain Hostel. The guy was just entering into the compound, his car keys swinging slightly on his index finger as he locked the gate behind him. "Welcome, sir." She smiled while she slapped her friend's back so she would stop moving so much.
The older male smiled and shook his head. "Ah, Patty. Suffry beat this girl. I know sey she is very naughty. But na my pikin o. Nor go kill am for me abeg."
"Leave them. If Patty kill her, she go resurrect am. Fire mama, I greet you." A girl coming out from the room beside Flora's room with jean knickers, pam slippers, a big black polo shirt and facecap bowed jokingly. She was referring to the girl's anointing. It wasn't a secret that last year the girl actually raised a girl who was confirmed to be dead after drinking Sniper because her boyfriend broke up with her. The girl was her roommate. Personally, she was a Muslim, but after that ordeal, she had started attending Patricia's church.
"Aminatu, how fa na?"
Flora sighed and sat down on the ground when Patricia released her to do a bro shake with her neighbour. "Wahala be like Patricia o."
"Hey, hey, sister Flora. This is my mentor right here." Aminatu pointed at Patricia who stood beside her snickering silently. "Wahala be like friend wey nor dey celebrate grace o."
The Gorvo and Patricia burst into laughter at how much Flora's face changed dangerously in a second.
"Sha let me be going before somebody wound me this morning."
The Gorvo also excused himself and left the two friends to sort themselves out.
Flora was still glaring at the gate Aminatu had just passed through. "Shey na this hostel she go still enter?"
"Unforgiving spirit, sister Flora." Patricia laughed and dodged the slippers the girl threw at her and ran into her room before quickly locking it behind her.
"Ey God o. Patty, you locked me out of my own room?"
"Who sent you to throw slippers at me? My dear, you are sleeping outside today." Patricia expected to girl go throw a tantrum or at least beg after a while but when she heard nothing, she became cautious. "Flora?" She thought it was a trick so she waited for a whole fifteen minutes. When she didn't hear anything, she got worried. Where did this girl go?
With questions on her mind and her friend's name on her lips, Patricia opened the door, only to stumble when she saw someone she least expected standing by her door. She was ready to wedge herself on the ground. This would always be that one scene in movies where the boy would catch the girl and stare into her eyes with romantic music playing from absolutely no where...but then, this is reality so Patricia was sat on the floor, glaring up at a familiar idiot who had an annoying smirk on his face.
"Hello, my love."
A/N:
Pidgin terms used
Nor vex - don't be angry
Oya - depends on the context it's being used. In this context, "oya, don't be offended" means "okay, don't be offended"
Shey you want me to choke bayi? - so you want me to choke right?
Unkor - it's a bit difficult to translate this to English, but in the context it was used "...before we entered into your room unkor", it's like asking the question "what about the girl you insulted before we entered into your room?"
Joor - please
Oya, oya, oya - in this context, oya means "quickly" or "fast"
Suffry - gently or be careful
Pikin - child
Wahala - trouble