I've been trying to live like nothing between Donghyuck and I happened. A month flew by like a wind which brought me back to the stupid deal that I'd have him sexually for a month in exchange of teaching him for the science fair in which he won. It's crazy how things are like this now and… also it's crazy how I'm longing for him each and everyday.
I've been seeing him almost everyday. When he goes to school, when he reaches home and sometimes, when he buys foods or have them delivered but the thing I hate the most is that Jeno's always with him! Every single time!
I don't get to talk to Donghyuck because Jeno's there. I haven't had the chance to glance at him even because Jeno keeps him like a burrito around his jacket. Donghyuck hides inside his jacket as if he isn't wearing one and although that shit is cute, I'd rather see him inside my jacket and hide in mine, in which I wouldn't mind, and no one else's—especially Jeno's.
Jealousy… That's what they call it.
Occurs in moments like—when someone you like is happier with someone else. But I don't want to regret not winning Donghyuck back because I know that no matter how I get mad and jealous over them, I also know that Jeno's the best pick if I'd chose someone for Donghyuck.
My baby deserves the best and I'm afraid to admit that I'm not that man. I'm not everything that he wants and needs. I can't make him happy and all I do is hurt him. Looking back, I've never gave any affections to him or if I did, it's just because I'm thanking him for the good sex and for the aftercare. I even left him almost every after sex when he falls asleep. How bad does that sound?
And another thing, if ever Kang Mina has laid eyes on us which is possible when she appeared on Donghyuck's international competition which is the science fair, she will most probably make this an issue out of me again.
The thing is, she was my student, she was as young as I was eight years ago and I was a high school teacher. She liked me—no… she was so obsessed with me. She was very open about it and she always make her own way to get my attention.
That's when I started to hate the thought of students liking me. It's inconvenient and shaming. I was already 26 years old and she was fucking 19, what would I do about that? Even if she argued that age doesn't matter—well to me it does, especially that she's young, willful and impulsive.
I was not raised to be a man like that.
And then happened that one night when I went out of the school late and found out that she's been waiting for me outside. Of course that was creepy as hell, but I was also worried about her since she's a girl and others might take advantage of a girl walking at night alone, so I accompanied her.
We walked to the elevator and took the lift together, and it somehow crashed. We were inside, the lights are off, and then shit happened.
I didn't touch her but she did kiss me, saying that she's claustrophobic and she needs distraction. Hell, it was wrong but she was shaking. If I knew she'd frame me for it, I wouldn't have let her be. I wouldn't have fallen for her lies and deceiving actions. I didn't kiss her back but I also didn't took a step away from her.
Then, she started talking about it in the class, she bragged about how she was able kiss me in the elevator and said it was romantic. Of course, I was called at the guidance office and got fired but before I did finally went out I took my chance to talk to her.
I did not lock us in the staff room, I did not touch her that day, I did not scold her. I just talked to her about how the things that occurred shouldn't have fallen out from her lips.
She framed me. She cried, went to the principal's office and talked about how I touched her sexually, kissed her, had sex with her, claimed that I locked the door of the staff room so no one would bother us, and said that I threatened her not to talk about it.
Of course I was mad, enraged even. I made myself clean in their eyes and told them that I didn't do that, but no one would believe a man in the society especially if it's a rape case.
They believed Kang Mina, because she was crying, she was a girl, and she was young. And how did I prove to them that I didn't do anything wrong? I did try but I didn't succeed. They believed her and criticized me, all because of the reasons that I'm a fucking man with responsibilities, brain and a fucking dick and she's a girl, brainless and vulnerable.
Hell…
So, when my father knew that. My father got so mad at me, including all the hates from that moment when I told him that I don't want to lead his company and that my heart is in teaching. He was so mad to the point that he asked me to go out of the country and when I didn't compell, he cut off all my cards, all my connections and restrained all the school in this country to hire me.
He called Kang Mina over and asked me to marry her to atleast apologize for the thing that happened in which I didn't do. He sustained Kang Mina, probably for life, because she said I got her pregnant. A month after, my father got the news that she had a miscarriage and that made him even more apologetic to Kang Mina.
Hell, I don't even know how she did that but I just know that what she had isn't my child. I have no child and if I did have it with her, I would ask it to be aborted because I don't want to have a fucking child.
If I'd have one, then that's crazy.
Those happened six months ago and I'm out here, trying to survive life, hiding from my father who just knew that Kang Mina lied in front of his face, deceived him, and now seeking me to get me back and apologize, probably.
I don't want to come back of course, especially after all the names that he called me, after all the harsh words, and especially the way he shut doors at me and never gave me the chance to work in a school and live comfortably without them.
Everyday feels like it's choking me, until, Donghyuck happened.
Donghyuck, the epitome of my happiness, happened in my life and the only thing that made me forget the hatred of having a student like me. He, was the reason why I compelled to his requests. Not because he's a pretty boy, not because I'm a man with needs, and not because I need something in return but because of him and him alone.
If I had him now then I'd probably run us away and hide from Kang Mina and my father. I'd keep him with me, safe and sound. I'd like him, love him, and be with him.
Although that bullshit sounds so impossible now.
📚
I had to buy groceries since I'm out of stock so I went out, hoping I'd bump into Donghyuck but I didn't. I even attempted to knock on it but I failed. I'm not sure if it's because I'm so nervous that my hands are shaking, or I really don't want to bother that baby anymore.
In the end, I just went to the grocery store nearby, immediately grabbed a cart and seek for things that I need. It's just food and things for grooming anyway so it's not that much.
I was placing them carefully in order not to spill anything out from their jars when I saw someone from the isle, picking junk foods.
"Renjun?"
I'm right. It was him and he was shocked to see me here as well. I grabbed this chance to talk to him so I walked forward and smile.
"How have you been?"
"I'm fine, hyung. The new tutor's good."
"What's his name again?"
"Yangyang." He smiled. "He's kind and he's so much more better than you."
I laugh. "Yeah, he probaby is."
"How have you been, sir?" He asks and smiles. "It's been a while."
"I'm good, really." I'm not, actually. "Hey… About that day… I'm really sorry…"
"That kiss?"
"Yes." I bit my lips. "I know I shouldn't have did that. I was a jerk for hurting you and… Donghyuck. I know it shouldn't have happened."
"It's fine. I'm way past that."
"And also, for not liking you back."
It's not my fault that I liked Donghyuck and not him but still I'm apologizing because he cried multiple times because of me.
"I'm okay now, hyung…" He smiled and tapped my back. "You're not responsible for my feelings and so am I. We can't force anyone to like us back."
That includes the fact that I can't make Donghyuck like me again, anymore.
"I'm curious about one thing, though…" He giggled. "Do you like Donghyuck?"
"Huh?" I fucking shit myself. "Oh god… Why are you asking me that?"
"I mean… it was obvious when you grabbed him, went away from us, and you look so worried when Donghyuck saw us kissing."
"I was?" I shyly rub my nape and snicker. "I must've been obvious. Yeah, I like him."
It's so easy to say it to someone else but it's so hard to confess right in his face! Shit… How could I even try, especially these days, when he's with Jeno all the time?
"Speaking of…" Renjun laughed and his lips pouted, pointing behind me. "He's here."
"He's what?" I gasp and look back. There he is, picking ketchups and giggling to himself. And he's alone, not with Jeno!
"Should I leave now?"
"Wait…" I hold him. "I'm really sorry, and thank you."
"No problem!" He says and waved his way out from my sight.
This time, my focus is on Donghyuck and the way he smiled to himself when he finally got the ketchup in his cart. I gathered myself and walked forward to him, attempting to catch his attention.
"Hey…" I cough and look at him. "Hi, Donghyuck."
He flinched and looked at me. He shoot the things into his cart and furrowed his eyebrows. "What are you doing here?"
I move my cart a bit and shrug. "Buying groceries."
"Oh…"
"Are you alone?"
"Do I look like I have someone with me?" He scoffed and rolled his eyes at me. "Of course, I'm alone."
I laugh in awkwardness and cleared my throat after.
"What are you here for?"
"Groceries." He replies.
"At home?" I walk with him.
"Apartment."
"Anything else you need?"
He lift the pickles up and gave me a bored look. "Last one."
"Oh…"
I really don't want to lose him this time.
"Donghyuck?" I held him back along with his cart. "Let's go get some ice cream?"
"Ice cream?" He tilted his head, his eyes glimmered and his mouth fell open. "I want ice cream!"
He's so adorable.
"Come with me, then."
"Oh… O-Okay!"