♡ I keep a lot to myself because, it's hard finding someone who truly understands you♡
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B L I S S
Have you ever wondered and asked yourself why you are still here? Of what purpose you are here for? what's keeping you here? and then you realize the answer is nothing and that's scares you even more because you are still here and you don't know why.
"Bliss are you even listening?" I felt someone tap me as I realize I had been carried away with my thoughts.
"Yes I am," I lied.
I looked around to find I was siting on a sofa surrounded my many people from school.
I felt trapped.
Since I got to the party different people had involved me in one discussion or the other even if I wasn't interested. Being popular was really stressful and I haven't seen Liv since we got in here but I'm sure she was somewhere with Jake.
My heart was racing really fast. It was as if it was trying to beat out of its place. I couldn't breath. I looked down as I feel my hands and body tremble. My clothes were getting drenched with the sweat on my body. It was so long I experienced this claustrophobic attack. I hated this feeling.
I really need to get out of this place'
"Please excuse me, i need to get a drink," I whispered to the person beside me as I hurriedly got out of their midst trying to control my breathing.
I began to breathe slowly and deeply while counting to three in my head with each breath like I used to do it then. It was gradually getting back to normal. No one knew of this attacks even Olivia but my mum. It had started shortly after my dad left but I was told it had nothing to do with it. I think it's genetic or something.
I went to the kitchen and got water to drink as I watched different teenagers make out. I don't blame them, it's their time plus hormones.
'Maybe I should go upstairs to get fresh air and space,' I thought.
"Well, well if this is not the one and only Bliss Mathews," I heard someone say.
I turned around to face the speaker only to find it was Ethan.
Yes I haven't seen him since I got into his house party. I had been avoiding him and Daniel because I really hated awkward conversations.
"Hi Ethan," I greeted with a voice laced with lack of enthusiasm.
"How are you doing ever since you broke my heart?"
"I told you from the start that I was not into serious relationships, just casuals and the last time I checked, you were totally fine with it," I snapped at him.
I really wasn't in the mood for petty talks.
"I know but you know you fall in love when you least expect."
"I'm sorry I broke your heart, okay? but it was for the better or would you prefer a one sided relationship?"
"It's fine though, it's all in the past now. Sorry I was immature about it."
That Goodness he knew. I didn't voice my opinion though, i only nodded in response.
"I met this girl and she's actually nice I think I might start something with her."
"That's good for you, so are we cool?"I asked wondering why he decided to tell me that.
"Yes, we are."
"Would you like to be my partner in this beer pong game they are about to play?" Ethan asked to change the topic which I was grateful for.
"Actually, i need to use the restroom," I half lied.
"You can use the one in my room. You still know where that is right?"
"Sure, why not." Why won't I remember the room I used to make out in though it still feels weird coming back into the house after breaking up with its owner. It's like I'm intruding.
'You were just mocking him about him being immature about the break up right? Pot calling kettle black' a voice in my head mocked. I quickly cleared the thought from my mind and listened to what Ethan still have to say.
"but I'm guessing it's going to be occupied. You can check the room beside it."
I replied him with an 'okay' as he rambled on. "The other rooms are locked You should know why and the other toilets would definitely be occupied by horny teens" he ended with a nervous laugh.
"I understand. Thanks, would catch you up later."
"Sure" he sighed as I watched him leave.
It was not in my intentions to break his heart. I really did not mean it but, I was and still not ready to let any one in just yet.
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True to Ethan's words, his room was occupied. The occupants did not allow me pass the door post before they yelled at me to get out. They said I was ruining their mood. Their words exactly was 'I was cock blocking them'.
Shrugs. I moved to check the next room.
I knocked the door when I got to the front of the door but when I got no response in return, i opened it. When I got in and so no one around, I breathed a sigh of relief and laid on the bed forgetting I had to use the toilet and closed my eyes as I try to recollect myself.
I was beginning to doze off when I heard the creak of a door. I jumped out of the bed and looked around to be met by a beautiful creature. His appearance would have been a total turn off to me on a normal day but not now. I found it alluring.
"Hey, i didn't mean to disturb but, i had to leave the toilet you know," he said with a small laugh.
Just imagine me going into the toilet and I meet this handsome being inside. Oh my ovaries. And that voice!! God! I cleared my throat "It's fine, i was about leaving."
He ruffled his hair like he was contemplating asking me a question but unsure what my response would be.
'How I wish it's my hands in that dark hair of his not his. They look so soft as hell ' At this point I was practically drooling.
"You can stay, i was starting to get bored here anyways," he smirked snapping me out from my shameless stare.
"What do you mean?" I questioned feeling my face redden.
"Luke, ethan's brother is my best friend and you can as well refer to him as my best friend since childhood. We were on break so I decided to come visit him since we were both attending different universities. Unfortunately for me, they were having a house party and me being someone who hates parties, as to be stuck here till the party ends" He explained.
"Oh, quite the opposite for me. I'm just not into this one that's the reason I came up here".
"My feet hurts badly. You don't mind me sitting right?"
A small smile played on my lips as I nodded my head in response. I don't know why I find it funny though.
"So.." he began as an awkward silence settles in. I used the period to check him out again and I must double admit, he's extremely handsome.
He was not the typical bad boy or the usual nerd guy everyone knows of. One glance at him and a normal person would call him 'weird'. He has this kind of aura around him that I find fascinating because if it were not, I would have given him an excuse to leave the room. Light facial hairs scattered on his chin like he just began growing one. His lower lips were full and plump. He was wearing an all black clothe and looked like he was in his early twenties or late teens. He smelt strong, warm and with a faint hint of smoke. He really smelt good and that piercing hazel colored eye. God!! Words alone can't just describe how attractive he was.
"What do you major in at the university?" I decided to break the silence and so he won't catch me checking him out again.
He made it so hard not to stare at him. I wonder if he has a girlfriend. Is that even supposed to be up for a question. How can a guy cute as this not have one. Groans
"A pre-med course, Chemistry. My dream job is actually medicine." he clarified with a smile.
Beauty plus brain, check.
"You will definitely make a hot doctor," I blurted out.
"Well, thank you," he chuckled. I'm sure by now my face would already be competing colors with a tomato.
"Don't be annoyed but, you seriously don't look like someone who is...you know, smart."
"Offense not taken. I get that a lot and I understand what you mean," he replied as it went silent again.
I could feel his stare on me like an object in front of a mirror. He wasn't even discreet about it even when I was sure he knew I felt his stare. I raised my head unintentionally and was met by his intense eyes. I averted my eyes quickly and rubbed my sweaty palms on my skirt. I was used to guys staring at me and I was usually unconcerned about it. Why was I then getting nervous? Why this one then?
"You know, you are lucky. I haven't really thought of what to study," I said trying to bring up something to ease the tension.
"Why?" he finally responded after some seconds passed.
"I don't know. I have always thought when I get to that bridge I will cross it. I mean when I start my college application I would figure out what to study."
"That's not really good. I have always knew what I wanted to be right from high school. Just find out what you really have passion for and go for it," I could finally feel the tension slowly dispersing. I breathed a sigh of relief.
"I'm going to think about it but definitely not any course that involves chemistry. I hate that subject not to offend you or something," I coughed out, laughing.
"You hurt my heart," he declared holding his heart jokingly.
"Seriously, that subject is not for me. I have never understood it from the very beginning. I generally just do feel sleepy at the class."
"That has always been my favorite subject. maybe we should have a study session together one day and make you fall in love with it."
"I appreciate but, nah genius"
"What grade are you at?" he asked.
"Final year," I bragged. The text tone of my phone indicating I had a new message stopped Liam from whatever he was about to say to me.
I checked my phone to see it was a text from Liv informing me we were getting close to our curfew and needed to get home. I really thought she would have been drunk by now. I'm guessing she stayed sober so she won't receive lecture from my mum or so she won't be hungover tomorrow, either of those two.
I really was not into drinking of all the things I considered fun because I hated the aftermath and I knew better than to get home drunk.
"My best friend just texted me. I really lost track of time and we need to get home now so I won't get grounded," I smiled apologetically at him.
"I understand. It was really nice talking to you even if it was for a short period of time. You seem like a nice person."
"Thank you and you weren't bad yourself" I complimented him honestly. Aside from Liv, he was the only person I have felt completely comfortable taking to like this in a very long time even if there was some tension in between. There was just something about him I just haven't figured out.
My phone began to ring out Olivia's ringtone. I knew by now she was getting worried.
"I need to get going, bye" I hurriedly said to him as I got out of the room.
I went straight to where I remembered Jake parked his car to see both him and Liv waiting outside for me. Liv ran towards my direction when she saw me and enveloped me in a hug.
"I was getting worried when I didn't see you. Where were you and what took you so long?" she asked me in a tone I quite didn't like.
"No need to worry, I'm fine. So much for being a good friend after abandoning me all through the party," I replied curtly.
"I'm sorry, really. I thought you were going to be fine on your own and I was away because I was trying to build Jake's and I relationship. I really need you to understand."
"It's fine, i understand. Let's just go home," I held her hand as we head towards the car. I knew Liv wasn't satisfied on how we ended the conversation but right now I couldn't careless because something heavy was on my mind that I couldn't pinpoint.
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I hope you liked this chapter.
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