Story by: zarysun
Author of:
".....Breath.....",
"If you are...?",
"Coincidence"
Title of the story: "Reason"
Song: "You are the reason" by Calum Scott
WARNING!
MATURE CONTENT!
18+
There goes my heart beating
'Cause you are the reason
I'm losing my sleep
Please come back now
And there goes my mind racing
And you are the reason
That I'm still breathing
I'm hopeless now
(You are the reason - Calum Scott)
I was sitting in coffeeshop waiting for a friend. The day was cloudy and I was glad that I managed to get inside before the sudden rain soaked my clothes, i had no mood, and the sight of gray drops sliding down the glass made my melodramatic self to come out. Finally my coffee was brought in, a warm, slightly tart aroma of a hot drink enveloped my nostrils, bringing me back to those days when I was happy.
Perhaps those were the best days, days that I spent with my friend who didn't like coffee. She was a wonderful girl with short black straight hair, her face looked like fine china due to its smoothness and whiteness, she had a pair of chocolate brown eyes that were round and big like those of the dolls, and with her plump reddened lips she looked a more like a porcelain doll than a normal suburban girl, unbeknownst to her she had the ability to make everyone around her smile. It wasn't that people get bewitched by her smile but there was something about it that makes you wanna smile too. She was a happy virus. And through this things she got me, she just entrapped my heart and it has been with her ever since then.
We had a strange relationship, she didn't drink coffee but went with me to all the coffee shops because I loved it and her. Yes, we were friends, but I loved her, not as a friend should love, and therefore I tried to hide my feelings behind childishness and jokes.
Those were the best days. It was different with her.
With her, I did not feel cold on a winter night, when we stood on the roof of a skyscraper, with her I did not feel tired or bored. Now I understand how quickly time flies, I understand that I had to say more than think, I had to let her understand me.
But what to do, we were silly, no ... we were children that always fight and made fun of each other, but you know what...
I grew up as soon as I lost her. The moment she took a step back, something pounded in my heart. It was that very moment when I grew up not only physically but mentally.
I've been sitting here for a damn half hour, but Caesar was still not there, my thoughts began to overtake me and the weather outside the window was getting worse. People was trying to shelter from the rain as soon as its drops touched their clothes.
Why don't people like rain?
Is it because they are afraid to get wet? or because dark clouds cover the sun and everything around becomes gray? I remember I did not notice such changes during the rain, I did not care about the weather.
I even felt happy in the coldest winter in Beijing, when we stood on the roadside hugging each other. We were soaked to the bone and were trembling, Yue was starting to cry and I was laughing, trying to make her smile, I was also cold, but when she pressed against me I felt a warmth spreading deep inside. I felt like a man who can protect his little woman from everything... I felt strong and she was the reason of my strength.
Then there was times on summer days when the rain cooled the hot earth, turning the streets into a steam room, we were sweating even from the fact that we were just breathing, but still we didn't stop fooling around...
And that time she was the reason of my smile.
I thought succumbing to my memories and continuing to stare at the street.
I remembered the day she left.
The day when she became the reason of my regrets and despair
I probably would have continued to sink deeper into my memories and spying on the drop rolling down the glass, if not the ting of an incoming message.
"Are you still waiting ?"
It was Caesar, my dumbass friend who made me come here and wait for him for god knows how long.
He was always like that...
And I think I'm not much smarter than him, since I'm still waiting.
"Idiot, what took you so long." I messaged back , I would tell him a lot of things, but I was too lazy to write now and that saved him from my swearing
"So you are there?"
This guy...really .. he is trying to piss me off. I dialed his number, ready to explode for keeping me waiting, but before I pressed the call button, the ringing of the bells at the front door caught my attention.
A wet, clearly chilled girl went inside trying to shake off as many drops of rain as possible before walking through the hall.
She walked inside, as if apologizing for wetting the already not so dry floor in the cafe. Something about her seemed very familiar, her hair, wet and tousled, did not allow me to see her face, a wide denim jacket masked her body well, but the feeling that i know her did not leave me. She looked around the room and chose the next table, then straightened her hair, took off her wet jacket and hung it over the back of her chair.
And that's when I was paralyzed. It was her.
Her big eyes looked down, studying the menu lying on the table, thin fingers were busy with her hair trying to make them look more decent, she kept biting her lower lip, it was her habit when she doubted something. Most likely, she cannot choose what to order because there was no bubble tea here, I thought as I watched her eyelids move up and down the menu.
Finally, having decided on the order, she raised her eyes and at our gazes met. "D-Dylan...?"
Her eyes got bigger. She definitely didn't expect to meet me here, and neither did I. It was as strange as if you were dreaming, and your dreams would suddenly turn into reality.
I didn't hear her say my name, but I know for sure that she whispered it. "What will you order?"
"Just in time" I muttered to myself when the waiter came at the most inopportune moment and shielded her with his back.
For these few minutes I tried to collect my thoughts and find at least some adequate words, but apart from the word Hello, nothing came to my mind.
As soon as the waiter left I turned to her and practically shouted
"Hello!"
I think it was too loud, because a good half of the visitors turned towards my voice. "Hi."
She said with a small laugh, which immediately spread a smile on my face.
"Can I?Or...are you waiting for someone?" She asked, gesturing to the empty chair at my table.
"No... i mean, Y-yes. of course, it's empty..." What am I saying..? "You can sit here" Phew. Finally, something normal came out of my mouth.
Yue took her jacket and tossed it over the chair opposite." Thanks. Glad to meet you here, I didn't want to be alone.."
Her smile hasn't changed a bit. She became prettier, became more feminine, her dark hair grew, she was dressed differently But her smile was the same.
"Yeah.Im... I'm glad too." I caught myself staring at her and quickly looked down into my cup Several times I looked up did not dare to say something and I think she didn't notice it because she was busy with her phone.
She frowned, then raised her eyebrows up as if was surprised, all this time I secretly watched her along the way, thinking about what to say and how to start a conversation.
"Sorry, this is JiaQi. We were supposed to meet today, but I think something come up. She won't be able to come." She said putting her phone aside.
After her words,I started to suspect something.
"I..I was also waiting for a friend, and it seems he also won't come" "Let me guess... it's Caesar? Have you been waiting for Caesar?"
She suspects the same
"Yeah." I nodded, already sure that she also had certain thoughts about what was happening.
"Well... since we are here together, abandoned by friends.... " She smiled as she said that
"Let's chat and wait until the rain stops. Unless of course you have other plans, because I have none." And again this smile, the same smile that made my heart skip so many bites
"No ...no no no.. I have no plans." I nodded so many times that people would think my neck
was jammed, I think she thought it was funny because I saw her purse her lips so as not to laugh at my behavior. I knew that I was being too obvious, but I couldn't help myself, suddenly for me this gloomy and rainy today turned into a hope for a sunny tomorrow.
Maybe this is a chance, a chance to tell her everything and explain what happened that evening.
"How did you do, how long we didn't seen...?"She thought for a second, trying to remember how long we had not heard of each other. "Year?"
"A year and three months, to be precise." I smiled. I could tell her the number of days and hours, but I didn't want to look like a little lost puppy that was waiting for its owner.
"Yes ... a year and three months." She nodded as if confirming something to herself. "So what did you do?"
Her question made me rethink my words, I wanted to tell her about everything at once, but this would take more than a couple of hours.
"I work with Caesar in his father's company, do you remember we wanted to start our own business?"
"Mhm." she took a sip of just served coffee and grimaced, it seems she still doesn't like its bitterness.
"So it didn't work out for us and we ... well, you know, after that, Caesar's dad offered us to work with him to gain experience, I like it, so we have less risk of losing everything again." I smiled, but felt awkward. I know usually people talk about their achievements and I started with failures, but it was the safest way to start a conversation. I spoke and she listened to everything I told her with curiosity
"How...? How have you been?" My question made her look at me
"I'm... well, fine... yeah fine." she pursed her lips as if she doubted whether to speak or not. "Nothing special"
" You moved to Shanghai. JiaQi talked a little."
I didn't ask, I just wanted to know how she lives there.
"Yes. A year and three months ago" She smiled and I understood why she nodded when I said it before.
I felt sadness remembering that day, after all I was the reason why the things ended up this way.
"I work where I always wanted, I do what I love.. and... and so on." "I know. You became an animator, I'm happy for you."
"Yes. And you know ... I ..." her eyes, those big, chocolate eyes lingered on my face, then she turned them away as if refusing to tell me more
"There are reasons for everything that happens in life."
"I don't think so" i created these stupid reasons.
"You don't know anything ... you didn't give me a chance to explain and ..." "Wang HeDi ..."
it hurt my heart, she smiled, but my name from her lips, it did not sound like before, she was so close yet so far from me. Have we become completely strangers?
"Wang He ..."
"You left. And changed your phone number. I couldn't reach you anywhere and you never messaged me back" All that was in my mind I expressed at the first opportunity, I was angry with her and therefore stopped calling and messaging her
"I didn't want to. I was going to tell you but couldn't." She looked down trying to hide her eyes from me.
"I was afraid. I didn't want to spoil the moment, but I couldn't be happy for you either, so I decided to leave."
"Spoil what? You didn't let me explain." "let's not return to the past, life goes on."
"Not everyone can forget so easily, not everyone's life going on Yue..."
I know I was pressing on her conscience but it was true
"What do you want to say?" Her chocolate eyes became serious and now was looking right into mine
"After all, I did what you asked for, I fulfilled the arrangement and you should be happy ..." her voice trembled and for a minute I wanted to finish this topic, but if I don't continue then I will not be able to tell her how it really was.
"Sorry. This is my fault from the very beginning. I should have explained it to you right away, but I was a coward."
I laughed and she too, although she shook her head. No
"That evening, I wanted to explain everything to you. It was all a stupid game to make you jealous. I wanted to know about your feelings. I told her about the kiss and was sure that she understood everything, but"
"What are you talking about? What game? She told me that you two became a couple, her feelings were real and that day, she even thanked me for helping you."
"No...Yue it was a game"
"But you kissed her!" She almost shouted and quickly looked around if anyone heard her It still hurt her.
I didn't know she saw that damn kiss.
Flashback. Two years ago.
We sat on a bench in the park waiting for friends. Darren had a birthday a couple of days ago, but we couldn't celebrate it because of preparation for the test, so we agreed to meet on the weekend and go to the amusement park. The girls were late and we had time to discuss our plans. With Caesar, it was clear for a long time, JiaQi was pretty quick-witted to understand the secret glances and attention of a guy, they had enough to sit on the adjacent seats in the cinema to get out of there as a couple, of course I was happy for Caesar, but the girl I liked was the absolute opposite of my friend's girl.
She was stubborn to the bone, and dense that at times it seemed to me, if I told her everything in her face, she would take it as a joke.
Darren as the most thoughtful and as I thought, smartest of us offered me a plan (how to make her fall for me)
"You have been friends for a hundred years, but no matter how you treat her, she does not notice you. It's time for you to give up and accept your fate" It was easy for Caesar because he got what he wanted, but it was not for me to forget about my feelings, and I couldn't imagine that one day she could come with some guy from her university, and there were many handsome by the way. I know I've seen them.
"You can try to make her jealous? Then she will surely pay attention to you not just as a friend, maybe she will see a guy in you?"
Darren's idea wasn't so bad since I always wanted to understand how she felt about me. So after a couple of days I started to act.
On our course there was a pretty but completely uncommunicative girl, I would say she was very harsh with the boys and not a single guy has ever received her attention.
She was my goal.
The whole day I deliberately behaved quietly and thoughtfully, and of course Yue noticed my mood and began to ask me about the reason. I played a little more and surrendering to her onslaught, told her that I liked the girl from my course.
Said I don't know how to talk to her and all that. I carefully watched the emotions on Yue's face, expecting that she would be upset or angry, but to my surprise and of course regret received an offer of help.
She wanted to help me. And what else I could do, I agreed, but with only one condition that she would always be with me and would prompt me and give advice.
She, as a true friend, accepted either the conditions ..
Then in the evening, lying in my bed, I realized how idiotic this plan was, I wanted to bury myself in the pillow and howl from my own stupidity.
Every day Yue asked how things were with that girl, and every day I lied to her with a sad face about not being able to get the girl's attention still hoping to see her emotions. She gave
me new advice, which I certainly did not use. Several weeks passed, then a month and two, and I hoped that Yue had completely forgotten about our stupid agreement, but one day I saw her at the entrance to my university building.
"Yue ?! What are you doing here?" I was extremely surprised to see her because she never missed her classes, which always ended later than mine.
"I'm sorry, what?" She sad with faked resentment "I came to meet XiaoQi."
Her gaze was fixed on the crowd of girls standing nearby. "Which one?" She winked at me
"Yue, are your classes over? Why so early?" I tried to distract her from the thoughts of acquaintance, but everything was in vain, she was too stubborn, she had no idea that I had not applied any of her advice to meet Xiao.
"That one." I nodded towards a tall girl with dark hair and a white backpack.
"Mmhhm ... you have great taste." In an expert voice, she said as she kept looking at the girls while I was hoping someone would take her out of here.
"Can we eat something? are you hungry?" I asked, hoping that food talk would overshadow whatever plans were ripening in her head.
"I am very hungry."
"Darren." My savior. I mumbled grateful for his appearance.
The guy grabbed Yue's arm and literally dragged her towards the cafeteria.
So I was able to forget about my game for a couple of days, until one day XiaoQi came to our gathering with friends in the park, and who do you think bring her? Of course it was stubborn Yue.
I was shocked, but I was not alone.
Darren shoved me in the ribs as if I didn't see what just happened.
That evening, Xiao and I met, and I could not wait for the next day to explain everything to her when we met at the university. Yue made me pay attention to Xiao all the time.
"Don't sit like a scared puppy, smile." "Ask her something."
"Didi, come on."
Like a child, she taught me, forcing me to do something for the girl with whom I had not even greeted before. I opened a can of coke for her, gave her my jacket and tried to make some conversation because Yue was staring at me like a snake at a rabbit.
The next weekend, we all spent together again, but Yue was no longer interested in my relationship with XiaoQi.
Maybe because we weren't as awkward as before. A couple of times we walked to the bus stop together, and I noticed that XiaoQi became more friendly with me.
I told her everything, apologized for having tied her into this game and thought that she would be angry, but to my surprise Xiao was not opposed to helping me.
In the meantime, Yue was more and more distant from me, we began to spend less time together, and this is not because I spent it with Xiao, no, we did not communicate outside the university, the fact is that Yue had a lot of things to do and was busy all the time. She talked little about her problems, and this began to worry me more and more.
One day I just visited her home, I was sure that her studies were over, but she was not there. I talked with her father and trudged back wondering where she could be, it was getting dark and cold outside. Kicking the leaves under my feet, I did not notice how I reached the park.
"Didi ..... Dylan ..."
I heard my name being called from afar and then I saw Yue running towards me. "What are you doing here?"
"Where have you been?"
Our questions were asked at the same time and we laughed at the unison of our voices.
"I went to you, but you were not at home, where were you?" She said pouting cutely, her nose was red and hands were cold, I took them in mine to warm up and she smiled.
"I was at your place. Why didn't you pick up the phone? I've called you a hundred times. And I meet your dad, I think I could have made him worry. We need to warn him that you're okay."
"Alright"
"And wait, why did you come to me? Did something happen?"
"I needed to tell you something. Just do not be angry" She smiled so sweetly that I didn't have the chance to be angry with her.
"OK." I nodded, promising not to be angry. "Just let's eat first, I'm cold and really hungry. Do you have any idea how long I was searching for you?"
Now it was my turn to pour like a little baby. Yeah, I know that my face looked silly, but I loved listening to her laughter.
We went to the nearest traditional restaurant and ordered a hotpot to keep warm. "I wish all the guys were here." She said looking at me
"Mhm..." I confirmed, but in my heart I was glad that we were here alone. "I have to tell you something, but you shouldn't be mad at me either. Okay?"
I decided to tell her that this whole story with XiaoQi was fake, I no longer wanted to continue it, because in the end I could lose Yue as a friend.
"Yes I promise. But first listen to me." "What is it?"
"I saw Xiao today." She smiled strangely and I felt that something went wrong. "W ... where?" I even started to stutter, I hope Xiao didn't tell her anything.
"Not on purpose, I just met her in a cafe near my university and we talked a little about you.You know, she's a very...sweet girl. And she really likes you Dylan."
"No no. This is not true...she didn't.."
"Yeees. This is exactly how it is. She admitted that she has feelings. I probably shouldn't tell you this, but she loves you. And ... you know I ..." she looked down at her hands
"What? What are you?"
I thought I heard regret in her voice. "I think you look great... together"
And again this smile, I know that it is faked. It hurt me a lot, until the last moment I waited for her to tell me something that would give me hope. I wanted her to tell me that I should not be distracted from my studies, to say that I don't know how to treat girls, she could say that she was jealous, even if it was a joke, anything but not that.
I was glad that the steam from the hot pot helped me hide my red face and watery eyes. For the next few minutes, we just ate in silence. The lump in my throat prevented me from saying anything else.
Returning home, I told Caesar everything that had happened, and after listening he decided to help me, he offered to talk to Jia and then I realized that there was still hope for me.
"She definitely likes you, I just don't understand why she pushes you away." These were her words, and of course I wanted to believe in them.
Caesar and I invested in the development of a tourism company and became co-owners of it along with two other partners. Our company was very small, but our plans were Napoleonic. And in honor of this on the weekend we threw a little party at Caesar's.
Yue was surprised that I didn't call XiaoQi but quickly forgot about her when we remembered how we had fun before.
The evening was wonderful, we were very relaxed. Darren introduced us to a girl from his class, Annie. The girls quickly accepted her into their company and Darren was glad about it. Later we decided to watch a movie and everyone sat comfortably on the floor, because Caesar's sofa was too small to fit us all.
The movie turned out to be boring for me, a person who loves action and fights, it wore me out and my eyes slowly closed from the long and boring conversations of the main characters. Through my sleep, i realized that movie was probably over because the room became too quiet, I opened my eyes, confident that everyone fell asleep just like me, but was extremely surprised that Yue was looking straight into my face. To put it more precisely, she looked at my lips and her face was inches from mine.
She froze, confused, trying to find an excuse, but I could not pass up this chance.
With a quick movement, I pulled her closer and clung to her lips, she did not move away, on the contrary, her eyes closed and her lips relaxed allowing me to continue kissing her. It was the best moment in my life. I enjoyed every moment, I could taste her lips and couldn't believe that I was really kissing this girl.
The lack of air made me stop, but I was in no hurry to move away from her, continuing to hold her by the back of her head, I moved my eyes from her lips up to her big warm eyes that was looking at me tenderly.
Now I was sure. She has feelings for me.
That night I couldn't sleep, closing my eyes I remembered the kiss and felt the corners of my lips crawled up. I was too happy and couldn't wait to see her.
In the morning, I saw a message from Yue, she wanted to talk to me after class, and I was determined to confess my feelings to her today.
I called XiaoQi and said that I'm going to tell Yue that everything was fake, I asked her to confirm my words and that she told her was a lie, but XiaoQi refused. She kept assuring me that we needed to continue playing this useless game. I didn't know how to convince her and confessed that I kissed Yue, hoping that now she would understand that I was serious.
In the evening I was waiting for Yue in a cafe, I was very excited. I prepared flowers and ordered her favorite bubble tea. Everything was ready.
"Dylan?"
"What are you doing here?"
XiaoQi's voice made me turn around, I wasn't ready to see her here.
"I think we need to talk. I understand that for you it was a game, but for me it was not. I really love you Dylan." She came closer and smiled at the flowers.
"They are not for me of course, but let me tell you, as long as you run after Shen Yue, you don't notice those who really loves you. I can forget about the kiss, but she won't forgive that. Trust me..."
"XiaoQi we should stop it. I love HER and this game is not helping me to get her attention" Here it is the very moment when wrongly committed acts catch up with you and give a kick in the ass when you don't expect it.
"XiaoQi let's talk tomorrow." I got up and pointed to the door, hoping that she would leave, but she threw herself on my neck. I was dumbfounded by her act, but what happened after completely knocked me out.
She kissed me, her cold lips stuck into mine for a second and this second was enough to understand what was happening.
"Yue ... !!!!" I screamed as i watched her walk away. "Shen Yue !!!!"
I rushed to the exit but saw only the lights of the leaving cab. I went back and threw a contemptuous glance at the girl with flowers, grabbed my phone and left the cafe.
Several days have passed since that evening. Every day I watched her at the gates of the university, waited for her at the house and called, but she seemed to sink into the ground. Caesar knew something but was silent, Darren was fascinated by traveling to exhibitions with Annie. I didn't know what to do. By the end of the week, we met with friends as usual and I really hoped that Yue would come to the meeting, but it turned out that she had left. Yes. As simple as that. She left without giving me an explanation.
End of flashback
I told her what I hadn't been able to say before. She was silent, from time to time nodding to my words, but not such a reaction I expected. She could be offended or happy, she could scold me or be embarrassed when she heard about my feelings, but she was too calm. Yes, I saw a certain sadness, but no other feelings that would give me hope.
"Is there anything you want to tell me?" Unable to bear her silence, I asked and she nodded. "Mhmm. I have something to tell you and glad that now I can do it. I know that I should've done it before and maybe you wouldn't use such strange methods, but................................................................................................................. it seems that it was
destined to be so."
I don't know what she's talking about, but her every word told me to not expect anything good.
"I.... I did stupid things too, and most of this is my fault. I'm sorry, I know that probably I'm
late with an apology and a confession, but I was too insecure about myself..... and about you.
I couldn't tell you about my feelings. I had a reason for this, I was just afraid to lose a friend."
She was? But now she's not afraid of it anymore? Well, though..... it's probably difficult to call
us friends after a year of silence
"I'm guessing what you're thinking. But you know, we became distant and probably this is good. I liked you. Although no, not that I was in love with you for god knows how many
years." she laughed, but it was not funny, I was surprised, upset, disappointed.. If I knew, then we would spend this year together and not like that...
Flashback Pov Yue.
Every single day was starting from thoughts of him.Seems like my brain had set some kind of program, and all my thoughts and actions revolved around him. This freaky, funny, sometimes stupid but very kind guy, Dylan.
My friend. He was the most energetic and loud person in my life.
I don't even remember how long we have known each other. And how long I had feelings for him. When he entered the Civil Aviation University, I was happy for him, it was his dream, but when I saw the girls students, I became insecure. He was tall and handsome,and in this aviation form he looked like a greek god, I was very jealous of letting him go, but I couldn't do anything. Weeks passed, I got busy with my studies and tried to not to think about him that much. We met on weekends when everyone was free,ate delicious food and went to coffee shops that I didn't like but went to spend more time with him. One of those days I overheard him talking with Caesar, after which I decided to set boundaries for myself in relationships with him.
"Do you think that you can be friends with her if you break up?" He asked, to which Caesar shook his head. No
"For me, the choice between a long friendship or a romantic relationship is obvious."
At that moment, I understood his thoughts and accepted them. I felt his interest, but I never showed it, because I knew that if we became a couple, we could no longer be friends. It was all complicated.
I was tormented from the inside, representing him with one of those girls from his university. It was hard for me to imagine him dating. And as if he knew, he never dated anyone. He spent all his free time with me, with us, until one moment, that day I realized that I could never be someone more than a friend for him.
Swallowing pain and pride, I offered him help, and agreed to his terms.Call me a masochist, but I wanted to spend more time with him to understand his feelings even if it was killing me.
So months passed.
I was eager to see her, the one to whom he gave his heart, and we met. She was a very beautiful, tall and sweet girl. I involuntarily compared myself to her and realized that I was losing to her in everything, my self-confidence ruined.
Some time later, I began to notice that Dylan didn't take the initiative and decided to help him, he did not know how to draw the girl's attention.I invited her to our circle of friends. XiaoQi was grateful to me, she admitted that she had a crush on Dylan for a long time, but he never noticed her. It was funny and sad at the same time.Both were sure that one would not notice the other, some kind of paradox, isn't it? Their relationship grew warmer and I became more and more gloomy. I often spent my weekends locked up in a room, deliberately watching tearful melodramas in order to have an excuse for my tears.
I didn't want to show my feelings and started seeing Didi less.
Soon I received a job offer from Shanghai, it was a great opportunity, I could study, work and distract myself from feelings.
I thought for a long time how to tell the guys and him about it.
But that day, at the party ... I can't explain what happened to me. Was it JiaQi's words, she accused me of cowardice, or did that champagne shut my mind off, I don't know. Maybe it was my decision to move to Shanghai, but I suddenly grew bolder.
I thought that once in my life I should show him my feelings and just see what happens. I bent over to him, peering into his calm face in the twilight, he was asleep and I couldn't take my eyes off him.
This guy was so dear to me, I have known him for a long time, I loved him god knows how long, so why can't I give myself a chance to confess. Why should I regret that I did not take this step, I don't want to fly away and be tormented by thoughts of what could happen if I confess to him. While I was thinking his eyelids opened and this gentle look that he gave me made goosebumps run on my skin. I had to say something, but I could not, his lips pressed against mine and a warm large palm fit on the back of my head, pulling me closer to him.
He slowly, as if stretching pleasure, moved his lips, and I felt his choppy breathing, I felt warmth in my whole body my heart was ready to jump out.
This kiss was the most beautiful thing that happened to me. It was our first kiss and we both did not want to stop, it was dangerous and exciting at the same time. I think the presence of the others, even though they were asleep, stopped us from insanity.
All night I was thinking about what to do. I was not sure if the kiss would change something, so I couldn't dismiss the job offer, because in the end, Shanghai could become a place for my escape.
Gathering courage, I sent him a message. Let's meet after classes. At the usual place.
Every minute seemed like an eternity while i was waiting for the end of classes. I called a taxi, and tormented by thoughts of what would happen, went to meet him. I was almost there when this message caught my eye.
It took me a few minutes to understand the situation.
Shen Yue, hello. I wanted to say thank you for everything. Dylan and I are together now and it's all thanks to you. ♥
She put a heart ...
that broke mine into pieces.
They stood hugging at a table in our cafe, on the table were flowers and two cups of coffee, I stood in front of the window and looked at them as if it were a movie, a movie like one of those that I watched to cry. I quickly got back into the taxi and drove away. I couldn't look at them longer.
It was too much.
I thought I was going to cry, but I didn't shed a single tear, maybe I already spent them all.. On the next day I packed my things and said goodbye to Beijing.
End of flashback
Confessing my feelings to him, I felt relief, the understatement tormented me for a long time, and now I regretted that I had not confessed earlier, and that I had not given him a chance.
Pov HeDi
I didn't think twice after hearing about her feelings. "Let's try this?"
She was surprised, I understood that from her look. "What?"
"Let's do what we should have done a year ago?" I was too excited to control myself
"I never stopped loving. I mean if your feelings are still here, you should give me a chance." Did she laugh? "Hey! Why are you laughing, I'm not kidding." I was hurt but realized that my words sounded strange.
"Sorry..." she mumbled, maybe I put a lot of pressure on her, of course she did not expect this, but I wanted to use this chance
"What? Why are you sorry? Do you have someone?"
......
"I..I have to go... I'm sorry"
This few seconds of silence made me nervous, I don't know what made her worried, but she suddenly began to get ready. I was afraid to think that she might date someone, that would be the worst outcome for me.
"It's raining outside, where will you go? you won't find a taxi now"
I was hoping that she would stop, but she didn't. She tried to look away from me, and I began to panic not knowing how to make her stay with me. "Wait." at the last second I grabbed her hand and realized that this was our first touch for all this time, I no longer wanted to let her go. "I'll take you home, just stay here, I'll drive the car to the entrance." She looked outside for a second and then nodded, I wasn't sure if I should leave her here, but the choice was limited.
I went outside and briskly walked to the parking lot where I left the car, it was not far to go, but the heavy rain soaked all my clothes in a minute.
Pov Yue
When he told me that he Loves me, I wanted to cry. I was happy and hopeless. I didn't know how to tell him that I agreed to date with my colleague. I knew I shouldn't have accepted Jasper's feelings. But I was selfish, I accepted them, I felt loved and thought that someday I could love him in return. I looked through the glass at the raindrops gleaming from the light of the lanterns and thought about what to do. He will appear here any minute and I was more and more convinced that I wanted to be with him.
I felt ashamed, but feelings for him drowned out my conscience.
"JiaQi I don't know what to do." These were my first words as soon as she answered my call.
"I know Yue, which is why I wanted you two to meet. You cannot date with such doubts, this relationships won't end well." She was right
"So what now? I agreed to date him a few days ago, how can I say that I changed my mind? Jia, you know he asked me many times I can't do that to Jasper."
Have I already said that I feel hopelessness? His mere appearance turned everything upside down.
"But can you date him and be with an unloved person? Yue, this is selfish towards him, he must feel loved too. Admit your feelings, surrender to them and then you will understand what you need. For the first time in your life, do what your heart asks, not your mind." "But..."
"No but's Shen Yue" "Fine."
"And besides I'm with Caesar and I think he is talking with Di, just relax and let things go with the flow."
I turned off the phone when I saw the car parked.
Pov author
She quickly got into the car hoping not to get wet. Didi noticed that her mood had changed, she was more relaxed but still thinking about something. "Where are you staying? I heard your parents rented out your house."
"Yes.They are always on business trips,the house had to be looked after, so... I will stay at the hotel."
"I thought you would stay with JiaQi."
"No, i guess you know why" she said smirking
"You can stay in my apartments as we used before." offering this, he was not sure that she would come, and was surprised that she agreed.
"Sure."
he smiled, it was too obvious that he was glad and of course she could not ignore it
"You smile too much." His chuckle reminded her of the old days when they joked around and laughed a lot.
The trip was not long and it was reassuring because the atmosphere in the car was getting tense. He wanted to ask her a question that was spinning in his head, but he didn't dare "We are here." His words tore her gaze from the wet glass and she smiled slightly, for some reason it seemed strange to her to stay with him in the same house, although they used to sleep on the same sofa in Caesar's apartment.
She looked around, everything was the same, but that was what made her heart beat faster. Does she expect something from this meeting? she herself did not know, even if she knew she couldn't believe in her thoughts.
Dylan, on the other hand, was so glad of her presence that he did not notice her tension at all.
"This isn't your first time here, so ... make yourself at home. I need to take off my wet clothes."
Yue nodded, trying not to look at him, mischievous thoughts already haunted her and seeing him in a wet shirt sticking to his body would only feed her imagination.
"Are you feeling bad?" Dylan put a back of his hand on her forehead, noticing her flushed cheeks.
"N-No. It's o-okay, just go already." she pushed him forward to make him hide from her sight. Dylan wasn't a fool and realizing why she was looking away, decided to tease her a little.
"It seems that something is wrong with you, your cheeks are reddened and your lips ..." He lifted her chin and peered into the lips of the bewildered girl.
"Your lips, they are swollen and also became red, did you bite them?"
"W-what?" she did not expect such behavior, abruptly brushing his hand away from her face she swallowed hard.
Dylan grinned, her height prevented her from seeing his foxy face. It seems this cloudy day turned into a nice evening. To embarrass the girl even more, he began to unfasten the buttons of his shirt with an imperturbable face in front of her.
"I'll drink some water."
he could hardly restrain a laugh when she, after these words, quickly disappeared into the kitchen.
He showered and dressed, but the smile never left his lips. He felt the attraction between them and was one hundred percent sure that it was mutual.
Take advantage of opportunity the moment it comes. He confessed to her his feelings, she did too, there was a spark between them and now he needed a plan on how to turn it into an unquenchable flame. This time he won't let her go.
Yue drank a glass of water and tried to calm her thoughts. She turned on the TV to distract herself, it was too early to sleep, she had to do something to shorten the time alone with him, otherwise she could surrender to her thoughts and feelings.
Could it be because she hadn't seen him for a long time, her feelings sharpened when they meet, if everything was fine in the cafe because there were many other people, then now being alone with him somehow suffocated her.
She must avoid unnecessary mistakes. "Did you miss me?"
She turned sharply, not yet accustomed to hearing his voice. "Am watching TV." She said showing him remote control
"You can take a shower if you want, I left clothes for you on my bed." she looked at his wet hair and manly hands, since when did he have muscles?
"Yue?"
"Oh! Yes, I'll probably take a shower." She walked in front of him looking straight.
He chuckled once again at her silly behavior and went to the kitchen "Don't be late, I'll make something for dinner."
She got out of the shower and was immediately greeted by the aroma of food spreading throughout the apartment, her stomach rumbled in anticipation of food.
She glanced down at her reflection once more and pulling Dylan's already not so short T-shirt down walked into the kitchen.
"The food is ready." he said putting the noodles on the plates, he had not yet seen her but already felt that she was near.
"Mmm ... smells delicious, you've always cooked great." She smiled and sat back, watching him cook. She always liked to watch him, but now she noticed not only his skill, but also his excellent physique, this year he has matured greatly, under the thin fabric of the T-shirt, the back muscles were clearly visible and his every movement it caused a strange, fluttering feeling down her stomach.
"If you're done checking me out, can we start eating?" Dylan chuckled again and she blushed like a ripe tomato, because she did not notice when he appeared right in front of her. "I-i didn't. I was just thinking." Yue glared at him trying to get away with it, but apparently in vain because she stuttered and Dylan didn't remove that sly smile from his face.
"Ok.. fine. I noticed that you have got muscles, that's all." She said, making face as if wanted to say 'are you satisfied?'
"What? I've always had muscles." Dylan played the insulted one and snorted
She let out a light chuckle and began to eat, ignoring his offended muzzle.
"I go to the gym." After a couple of minutes of soundly sucking the noodles into his mouth, he admitted.
"I see" she swallowed the food in her mouth and looked at him.
HeDi laughed at her wiping the corner of her lips. She was embarrassed to be caught staring at him.
"You are really a dummy Yue. I told you I love you, you can look at me whenever you want" She coughed, choking on food remained in her mouth, he poured her glass of water and patted her back. When she swallowed and accepted the cup stopping choking she glared at him once more.
"It's not funny Di"
"So...You still didn't believe that I liked you and not XiaoQi?"
"Because you like her and the chance of you liking me more as a friend.."
Dylan moved his plate away and
grabbed her hand to make her look at him, he cupped her face and stopped an inch away from her lips. She gulped. His eyes were dark as he looked down at her lips and then into her eyes.
"Do you remember that night in Cesar's?"
She nodded, the event from that night flashed in her mind again.
"I don't kiss friends as I kissed you Yue. Actually I don't kiss any of my friends on the lips" He said brushing his thumbs across her cheek.
Her heart starts to beat loudly and she didn't know what to do with her hands, she wanted to know where they stood before he would kiss her.
"Dylan"
He hummed, his gaze were so tender, she was starting to melt. "Then what are we?"
"Whatever you want us to be" "But what if I want to be friends?"
He looked down for a moment and was going to move back in his seat. "Then we'll be friends I guess"
He was hurt but still agreed to everything she wanted "What if I want to to be more than friends?"
"Then we will be more than friends" He smiled right away.
She moved closer to him "What if.." she gulped down "what if I want you to kiss me?" "Then you just say.." he whispered leaning in.
"Dylan..." "Hmmm?" "Kiss me..."
He did. He captured her lips in a tender and longing kiss. She blinked, her heart fluttered as she fell into the gentle kiss and kissed him back. She happily surrendered to the feelings but then her mind reminded her of one problem. Jasper, his name popped up into her head and she pulled back. Dylan was left wanting more, with his lips still puckering and eyes closed. "You're cruel" he mumbled looking at her with wounded look as he leaked his lips
She covered his mouth. Just looking at him made her want to kiss him again. "I.. I can't"
She released how it must have sounded, because Dylan with sigh stand up and ruffled his hair.
"Do you have someone?"
He breathed out, hissing and grimacing as if he was in pain.
"No.. I mean...I agreed to his date. He asked me before I come in Beijing"
"Damn, Yue... Who is he?" she let him cup her face once again, his eyes shifting all over her face waiting for answers
"My coworker" she almost whispered as if wanted him not to hear her " I love you so damn much, it hurts Yue"
He was so serious that she almost forgot how to breathe, but still a smile broke out on her lips.
"What's so fun?"
He stomped his foot down like a baby and then made a move to leave but she grabbed his arm.
"Where are you?"
She let out a soft giggle looking at his childishness
"To plunge into the abyss of despair, or just drink. My heart aches." "Stay" she laughed again
"If I stay, i may kiss you again." He quirked a brow
"Oh!" the only thing that came out of her mouth before he crushed his lips onto hers. She responded him right away and that's how she ended up being lifted up, and carried to his room. Everything was too spontaneous, she didn't know whether she was ready for such a turn of events. He laid her on squishy bed and hovered over her petite body. His look was tender and still somehow dangerous. Every time her brain tried to function correctly, her feelings turned it down.
He placed his large hands on her waist squeezing it a bit and sending shivers to her body, his lips slid from her neck to her collarbones, leaving little wet path of a kisses there. She couldn't believe how beautiful the kisses of a beloved man can be.
Dylan was as if in a dream, he had imagined this picture so many times, he was so many times ashamed that waking up next to her he dreamed of seeing her naked in his arms. Now it was happening and he tried to memorize every second to be sure that this was not just a dream. He slowly lifted up T-shirt he had lent her, kissing every piece of her smooth bare skin, and before she realized this, she was left in front of him in her baby blue underwear. She gasped when he closed their distance, pressing his body against her. Her hand instantly landed on his firm chest , giving her space to take a breath. He pulled away for a minute, afraid that she could reject him, but then he saw her cloudy eyes and quickly got rid of his shirt so that she could see his achievements in the gym.
He wasn't the most muscular but something about his soft skin made her run her hand up and down his chest before she tugged to waistband of his trousers. He stood up to remove them fully. Now they were both in their underwear. She moved back when he hovered over her but didn't get far when he pulled her legs to be under him. His a predatory smile turned her on, she anticipated his next move.
"As I expected" he said pressing his lips into the valley of her breast and placing there a million butterfly kisses. She let out a moan as he softly squeezed her clothed breasts, her eyes were closed but she was sure that smug smile were spreading across his face.
"As beautiful as you look in this, I want you out of it" he said into her ear as he removed the lingerie from her body, she didn't fight him, his admiring look at her was all she wanted. She was bad bare to him.
Without leaving the eyes contact with her he palmed her breasts, bending over to one by one suck the erect nipples into his mouth. He did it a couple of times before one of his hards traveled down her chest and stomach, spreading her legs and cupping her here to rub his thumbs over her pearl. She whimpered at his touch, it was new feelings for her and she couldn't control her body from moving.
"You're so wet Yue, can't wait to make you undone"
His dirty talk seemed to her very sexy, she never thought that would be able to hear something like that in her way.
Yes, she was aroused, wet and impatient. All her thoughts about Jasper flew out the window the moment he placed his lips onto hers, she even managed to come up with excuses that she tell him later.
He noticed that she relaxed and decided to play with her a bit, without warning he captured one of her nipples onto his mouth and at the some time slowly inserted his fingers inside of her. She almost choked her own saliva from the sudden sensation that he sent to her body, she buried her hands in his hairs , tugging every so often. It was hard for her to focus on, what his mouth was doing or his fingers, to her. She could feel her lower abdomen building at his frictions, it ripped a scream from her. "Fvck Dylan!!" she trew her head back when he started to pump his fingers faster then before. The noises that come out of her mouth were not her own, she barely could recognize them. She heard his chuckle as he took his fingers out. She watched him getting rid of his boxers but wasn't prepared to see him naked. It wasn't that Dylan she knew for so long, he was completely different person, with dark lust filled eyes and dangerous smile. He was hard and standing upright, she looked up to him as he reached out for the side table and took out a condom that he pulled on right away. He positioned himself between her legs almost rolling his eyes from the excitement.
"You have no idea how many times I've dreamed this."
"Pervert." She gave out a small laugh, knowing that she herself was not pure thoughts when it comes to him.
His movements were slow and smooth, and soon they both were groaning mess. He was enjoying her reaction, kissing her lips now and then to prevent her from biting them too hard. Her orgasm ripped through her in a high pitched scream, she opened her eyes still seeing white dots. He growled a few minutes after her, panting and shivering. "You are the best thing that happened to me Yue" he breathed out rolling next to her and enveloping her in his arms. She still were out of breath and he was running his hand up and down her back, helping her to come down from her high.
"I love..you" she said into his ear making him smile like a fool.
In the morning, before even opening his eyes, he was already smiling. All this was not a dream, and a girl sleeping loudly beside him reminded of this. He went took a shower still not fully believing in everything that was happening. Now they definitely won't be able to be friends, he thought with a chuckle. He never intended to be one anyway. Throwing a towel over his head after showering, he went out to check if Yue was still sleeping, but her buzzing phone attracted his attention, it seems that someone called her non-stop.
He was not going to take it, but seeing the name Jasper on the display, his hand by herself reached out to it.
"Hello, are you still sleeping?It's already ten in the morning, you'll completely get out of the habit of going to work on time." A voice from the other side of the phone answered.
"She's still asleep." He knew he shouldn't have answered the call, but even the guy's voice annoyed him.
"Oh ..." it was Jasper who didn't seem to expect to hear someone else. "Who are you?" " I'm Dylan, if that's important." "Dylan?" his voice became sad when he heard the Name. "So she's..."
"She's asleep." He became impatient, but he was actually talking to his opponent. "Sorry for telling you this. But I've waited for her for too long and I'm not giving up"
"I hoped that her feelings were gone, but I was wrong. You don't have to say anything else, I understand that."
he hung up the phone, surprising Dylan with his intelligence, he even felt sorry for the guy, but only for a minute.
Yue spent the whole day with Dylan watching movies and reminiscing about the past. Everything was exactly as she dreamed, the guy whom she loved was now there and her feelings were mutual. Both had a little regret for the lost year, but in the end all the words were spoken and they finally could show their feelings without doubts.
～～～～～～～～～～～～～～
Author's Note
Hello friends. I want to apologize in advance for mistakes and too long story. I haven't written about Diyue for a long time and the person who brought us all together is Lu. I want to thank her for inviting me to join this project along with other wonderful authors. I don't write short stories well, so maybe I'll write another part in the future.