*10 years ago*
“Where are we going?” asked Jhope as he followed Jisoo who was walking fast. “Why are you in such hurry?”
Then Jisoo stopped.
He looked around them and realized she brought him to a chapel.
“What are we doing here? What happened? Have you changed religion?” he asked as he went to the front facing her.
And that’s when he saw she was crying.
“Why? I didn’t do anything to you Jisoo.. why are you crying? Your dad will kill me if you-..”
Jisoo wiped her tears as she walked inside the chapel.
Two days have passed since the accident happened.
Two tormenting days passed by and she hasn’t slept at all..
Her parents told her it wasn’t her fault.. that it was supposed to happen anyway even if she hadn’t been on the road that afternoon..
But everytime she closes her eyes, she can see the woman’s face.. she seemed to be asking for her help.. which unfortunately she couldn’t give..
She had gone to the hospital to ask information about them and she was told that a funeral was being held in a chapel nearby..
She thought she needed to pay respect at least..
“Jisoo.. what is it? What are we doing here inside?” asked Jhope to her whispering.
He has never entered a chapel before.. and it feels spooky to enter one when a funeral is being held!
He turned to Jisoo who was still crying silently.
What the heck has happened to her? Does she even know who died?
She has always been weird but she has never been this weird!
“Can you at least tell me what we are doing here Jisoo? It feels awkward because I don’t know anyone here..” he said in a low voice as his eyes looked at the people around them.
They don’t seem to be people he or Jisoo would know.. and if their parents knew about them then they would have come..
Just whose funeral is this?
He was still curiously looking around when an old lady came to them and offered some drinks and food.
“Thank you ahjumma..” said Jhope as he grabbed two of each for him and Jisoo.
He turned to Jisoo.
“Look here.. we got some free food.. do you want to eat it now?” he asked smiling a little.
But Jisoo didn’t answer him.
He noticed she was looking at something to the front.
No.. she was staring at it..
He followed her gaze..
It was a boy..
A boy who had bruises all over his face.. he was also wearing a bandage around his arm..
And that boy.. was staring at something in front of him..
It was a picture of a woman and a man..
Jhope stood up to see the picture better.
They must be the deceased..
There were two of them..
The woman and the man must be that boy’s parents..
“Jisoo.. do you know that boy?” asked Jhope to Jisoo as he sat back. “Is he your classmate?”
Jisoo sighed before turning to him.
“We should go home now..” she said in a trembling voice as she rose on her feet.
Jhope knit his brows.
Why does she look so sad as if she knew the deceased? What’s her relationship with them?
Then he saw Jisoo going out of the chapel.
“Wait for me!” he said taking the food that was given to him. “I haven’t even had a bite of my sandwich..”
And before he went out, he turned to see the picture again.
“I don’t know who you are but.. thank you for the food..” he said in a low voice before hurrying to follow Jisoo.
*end of flashback*
————————
“Are you cold?” asked Taehyung as he looked at Jisoo’s face.
They were on the bus after visiting his parents.
He held her hands.
“You’re shivering..” he said worriedly. “I’m sorry.. I didn’t know it’d be cold today..”
He quickly took off his jacket and put it over her shoulders.
“Cover yourself.. you can’t get sick..” he said smiling as he held her closer to him.
But Jisoo wasn’t shivering because of the cold..
Fear.. pain.. guilt.. regret..
All the emotions she felt back then are haunting her again after learning that the husband and wife who got killed in the accident she had caused back then.. turn out to be her boyfriend’s parents..
She can’t believe it.. she doesn’t want to..
What is she going to do now? How is she supposed to tell him that the girl to be blamed is her?
She took a deep breath as she kept herself from crying..
It took her years to move on from her past..
It took her efforts.. lots of them.. before she could forget all of the pain..
She developed trauma and depression 10 years ago.. and she had to get treated for them..
She would stare blankly nowhere and all of a sudden she would cry..
Because she was aware of what she did.. because she knew it was her fault that people died and a boy was left orphan..
And it became worse when her father suddenly killed himself resulting her mother to fall into coma..
All she had back then was Jhope and his parents..
They would spend all night looking after her.. afraid that she would do something to harm herself..
Jhope was always with her whenever she had to see the psychologist.. he never left her side.. and that’s why he’s the only one who knows everything about her..
She used to have nightmares about the accident.. every night it would be the same dream.. every night.. she would see that woman and her husband..
And that’s when the psychologist advised her to do the “Cognitive behavioral therapy” in which she was able to re-experience the accident..
Only after being through the therapy, she was able to change her mindset.. she didn’t blame herself anymore.. although she knew exactly what had happened and how it did..
And the most important thing was..
she was able to forget and forgive herself..
She blamed herself for causing the accident and blamed herself even more for making his father kill himself out of guilt..
As she moved on from all of the pain and sorrow she experienced, her memories about the accident faded little by little..
She couldn’t remember the faces of the husband and wife anymore.. and neither their son’s..
But after hearing the story from Taehyung again.. the memories.. the emotions.. the faces from the past came back to her again..
Jisoo looked up at Taehyung.
“Why?” asked Taehyung smiling wide.
Now that he has noticed it, she looks pale.
Is she feeling sick? Maybe because of the bus? Does she have motionsickness?
“Are you okay?” he asked holding her face with two hands. “Are you feeling dizzy? Wait for a few minutes and we’ll be home..”
Jisoo held his hands tight.
Can she continue holding these hands? Is it possible to keep him close to her?
Once he learns the truth, he’s going to hate her.. he’s going to leave her.. he will never forgive the girl who killed his parents..
Taehyung looked around them before kissing her on her lips quickly.
Then he hugged her tight making her lean her head against his chest.
“I’ll get a driver’s license one of these days so I can drive you next time..” he said softly. “I had a really bad trauma getting into a car back then.. I couldn’t breathe even if I was just sitting at the back seat..”
He smiled as he patted Jisoo’s head.
“It took me a lot of years before I could ride a car.. and up until now, I didn’t have any courage to drive one.. but I think I have to get my license if I don’t want you to feel sick..”
Jisoo choked back a sob as she listened to him.
He wouldn’t say this to her if he knew the truth..
What should she do now? What would happen to them?
———————-
Jisoo has been calling Jhope since last night but she hasn’t received even a message from him yet.
She wanted to ask him if he knew about Taehyung’s parents..
She wanted to ask for his opinion.. that maybe.. her intuition was wrong.. maybe their stories were just really similar..
She couldn’t ask Taehyung for more details because she was afraid of him finding out about it..
Because if he were about to discover she had something to do with his parents’ death, he might leave her..
She held her phone tightly in her hands as she took a deep breath.
She looked around her.
The peace and the silence that she once liked.. why do they make her tremble in fear now?
She can’t sit still like this and wait for another day to pass while thinking of the past..
Every minute is precious to her.. she cannot go on like this without telling Taehyung what she knows..
She went through her contacts again and was about to dial Jhope’s number for the umpteenth time when she remembered having RM’s number as well..
Should she try calling him instead?
RM oppa has been with Taehyung since they were kids..
But RM oppa must still be mad at her because of what happened a week ago..
He must not want to see her..
She sighed as she put her phone back inside her pocket.
She doesn’t know what to do.. she feels uneasy.. sitting here like this makes her nervous but doing something makes her scared..
She was still sighing to herself when she felt a pair of hands on her shoulders..
“I knew I’d find you here..”
Jisoo held her breath for a moment.
It was Taehyung..
“How long have you been here? Somi said you skipped literature class today..” he said as he sat beside her.
Jisoo turned to him.
Taehyung noticed she still looks pale..
“Are you sick? What happened?” he asked touching her forehead.
Jisoo pushed his hand away.
“The other students might see us..” she said lowering her gaze.
Taehyung sighed a little.
He hates being in the university for this reason..
He wants to keep touching her yet he can’t do that here..
“I’m sorry..” he said as he distanced himself a little from her.
He took something out of his pocket and gave it to her.
“I bought these at the canteen while looking for you.. I know you like eating sweets..” he continued as he reached for her hand to give her some baci chocolates.
Jisoo stared at their hands.
“Thank you..” she said smiling a little. “You always.. think of me..”
Taehyung chuckled as he entwined his fingers with hers.
“I can’t help but think of you..” he said turning his head to her. “I get reminded of you whatever I do..”
Jisoo lifted her gaze to see him in the eye.
She was just looking at him without saying anything..
And then Taehyung’s phone rang..
“Jungkook is calling me.. I’m sorry.. I’ll see you later after my classes..” he said pulling his hand from hers and going away immediately.
Jisoo closed her hand into a fist.
The way he let go of her hand so easily just now..
He will not do it once he learns the truth, right?
———————-
It was past lunchtime when Jisoo arrived at a coffeeshop near the university.
She skipped all of her classes today for the first time in her life.
She couldn’t focus at all.. she can’t help thinking about the same thing..
And that’s why she has decided to meet with RM..
She sent him a message that morning..
She told him she’d wait for him at the coffeeshop today..
Although she didn’t get a reply from him, she came..
Several minutes passed by and still.. RM hasn’t appeared yet..
She checked on her phone.
He hasn’t answered either..
Is she just waiting in vain or what?
What should she do?
The waiter came to her and asked if she needed anything..
She ordered a cup of tea.. she has sent him away for a couple of times already..
The tea was brought..
She took a deep breath as she held the cup in her hands.
It seems like.. RM oppa won’t come..
She was still in deep thoughts when someone put a slice of cake on the table before sitting down across her.
“Taehyung always talks about how you love eating desserts..”
It was RM.
He came at last.
Jisoo was startled by him.
“I’m glad.. you came..” she said softly. “Thank you..”
RM nodded his head shyly.
He saw her message right away but he didn’t know if meeting her like this was the right thing after what had happened at the beach..
“I came late.. I’m sorry..” he said lowering his gaze to the table.
Jisoo smiled a little.
“It’s fine.. I’m just glad you came even though it was sudden..” she said.
RM looked at her.
“No.. I’m saying I’m sorry because of what I said to you a week ago..”
Jisoo raised her brows together.
Ohh.. about that.. she completely forgot it.. she didn’t even think of it anymore.
“I said those words without thinking.. I hope you can forgive me..” RM continued.
There was just silence.
Jisoo wasn’t saying anything to him.
RM glanced at her quickly.
She must still be mad at him.
Then why did she ask him to meet her?
This is just awkward.. the two of them meeting alone is awkward itself..
“May I.. ask you something?” asked Jisoo as she held her hands together.
RM noticed her hands were trembling.
What does she want to ask that makes her hands shake like this?
He nodded his head.
“About.. Taehyung’s parents..” said Jisoo sighing. “I was-..”
“Taehyung doesn’t like talking about his parents.. and I don’t want to say it myself to you..” said RM interrupting her. “I think you should ask him yourself if you want to-..”
“I think the girl who was riding the bike in the middle of the road was me..” said Jisoo quickly. “It was.. me.. the girl who caused the accident..”
RM’s throat moved fast.
What did she just say?
Of course he knows the story very well.. he knew exactly what happened..
He even saw the CCTV together with his parents while investigating on the case..
But they couldn’t file a case against a minor who was just riding her bike thoughtlessly although it was partially her fault..
And specially.. when his family found out what happened to her own family..
“You mean.. the girl.. I mean.. you think.. it was you?” he asked stuttering as he isn’t able to understand yet the situation.
He took his phone out and checked his emails.
He looked over the file that was sent to him about Jisoo’s profile.
He didn’t check all of her details.. he just wanted to know how she met Taehyung and if she was a good person for him..
He skipped about her family’s history thinking it was not his place to look onto it anymore.
His mouth fell open.
Her father was indeed called as a witness to the accident but he disappeared all of a sudden and they belatedly knew that he committed suicide because his family friend had scammed him.
“Does Taehyung know about this?” he asked heaving a sigh. “Did you tell him anything yet?”
Jisoo shook her head as tears fell down from her face.
“It must be true then..” she said in a trembling voice. “I was hoping I was mistaken..”
RM turned his head away.
Taehyung would be hurt if he were to know this..
He closed himself from everyone for a long time and now that he has started to love someone, she turns out to be the reason behind his family’s tragedy.
“Don’t tell him yet..” said RM. “Taehyung.. that guy.. loves you.. but I don’t think he can forgive you easily..”
Jisoo tried to hold the cup of tea with her trembling hands but ended up spilling it on her hands instead.
RM quickly stood up and grabbed some tissues to wipe her hands.
“Sometimes.. pretending not to know is necessary..” he said softly.
———————-
Jisoo was on her way to the convenience store for her part time job.
It was past 5 pm already.. she’s late.. she has never been late to any of her work before..
But she couldn’t help it.. she was feeling dizzy since this afternoon.. probably because she hasn’t had anything since breakfast?
Oh wait.. she didn’t even have breakfast today.. and she couldn’t take a sip of her tea either..
She was almost there when she saw Taehyung standing in front of the convenience store.
He waved his hand before running towards her.
“I have been waiting for you for a while.. why weren’t you answering your phone?” he asked holding her by her arms.
Jisoo took her phone out of her pocket.
“I’m sorry.. I didn’t know I turned the sound off..” she said lowering her gaze as she turned it on again.
Taehyung smiled.
“You’re late for work today.. where are you coming from?” he asked holding her chin up.
And he noticed her looking as pale as ever.
She doesn’t look good.. is she really sick?
“How about you skip work tonight? I think you’re sick-..”
“No.. I’m fine.. I’m just a little tired today but I can work..” she said quickly. “You should go home now and rest..”
Taehyung held her face with his hands.
“I don’t think I should leave you like this Jisoo.. we should go home together now.. let me talk with your manager and-..”
Jisoo held his hands and put them down.
“No.. don’t worry about me.. I’m really okay..” she said smiling as she tried to convince him.
Taehyung squeezed her hands tight as he looked into her eyes.
“Alright.. go to work if that’s what you want.. I’ll wait for you here outside then let’s go home together..” he said letting go of her.
Jisoo nodded.
She turned her back against him as she walked towards the store.
Is not saying anything to him and pretending not to know the right thing to do just like what RM said?
Can she just keep her mouth shut for now?
Will it be better to just stay silent about it?
She stopped on her feet.
No.. she cannot do that.. she needs to tell him the truth now..
Taehyung trusted her and opened up to her.. she cannot pretend like she doesn’t know anything..
She turned to him and found him still looking at her with a smile.
This might be the last time she’s going to see that smile in those lovely lips..
She knows what she’s about to do will change his way of seeing her.. she’s aware that he might hate her..
She ran to him hugging him tight.
Taehyung chuckled as he also wrapped his arms around her.
“Did you miss me already?” he asked patting her back. “Not even a minute has passed and-..”
He felt her trembling.
He pulled himself away from her and looked at her face.
Jisoo was sobbing.
“What happened Jisoo? Why are you crying? What is it?” he asked as he held her face with his hands. “Are you hurt anywhere? Let me see-..”
“I have something to tell you..” said Jisoo shedding tears. “I.. I need to confess something.. I have to-..”
Taehyung was extremely worried seeing her crying like that.. she looked very frail that he was afraid he’d faint from crying too much..
“You can tell me later Jisoo.. I won’t go anywhere.. please calm yourself down first..” he said wiping her tears which didn’t seem to stop.
“Oppa.. your parents.. about them-..” said Jisoo as her voice trembled.
Taehyung’s brows furrowed.
What about his parents? What does she want to say about them?
“It was me who-..” Jisoo choked back a sob.
She has to tell him now.. delaying it will be more difficult for her..
But then her phone rang at that moment..
She sighed as she took it out of her pocket.
She thought it was her manager who had also called her earlier but she got surprised as soon as she saw the number..
“Who is it?” asked Taehyung worriedly seeing her turn even paler.
Jisoo took a deep breath as she answered the call.
Taehyung was holding her by her arms.
Who could it be? What could have happened? Why is Jisoo crying? What makes her this sad? And what did she want to say about his parents?
“I’ll be there right away..” said Jisoo hanging up as she shed tears.
And then she hung up.
“I need to go..” she said taking a deep breath. “The doctor just called me..”
Taehyung’s throat moved fast.
It can’t be.. it shouldn’t be..
“My mom.. has passed away..” Jisoo continued as she held onto him. “Taehyung oppa.. my mom.. is gone..”
Then Taehyung saw her eyes closing slowly and a second later, she fell into his arms.