The following week was mentally hard for me.
I had to FaceTime with my therapist for an emergency session. She talked me through the attack and reminded me of the helpful tricks to use when confronted with triggers.
It helped talking to her because I could be brutally honest with her. I was always careful with my words around my family because I didn't want to upset them.
So I felt better after talking to her. I finally stepped out of my parents' bedroom. Mostly because Matteo wasn't here anymore.
Okay, that sounded like he was dead.
He wasn't.
He was just sent to live with a relative until our stay was over.
I don't know what happened to him but Amelia told me that he nearly died. Dad and my brothers were hardly able to control themselves. Nonno had to call in a few of his men to come rescue Matteo who was nearly beaten to death.
It was fucking intense.
And Silas wasn't even here.
They were coming tomorrow. I was very relieved that I get to see them again. I missed them, especially Theo.
But I came downstairs for the first time since my breakdown. I walked into the living room only to see nonno playing chess by himself. He noticed me, gave me a quick look before focusing on his game again.
"Sit and play." He ordered me.
Always so caring.
I had nothing better to do despite the amazing weather. I walked over to him and sat down. He set up the game and gave me the honour of starting.
Chess wasn't so hard.
"Do you want to know why she is alive?" He asked after we were playing for a while.
He was a very good opponent.
I lifted up a pawn but froze at his question. Not because I felt another panic attack come up, I just don't expect him to ask.
I wanted to know but no one talked about it to not trigger me.
"She made our family suffer for fifteen years. She took you away from us. Death would be the easy way out."
That was blunt.
"Even a prolonged death is not enough when I look at what she's done to you. No suffering that she goes through, will ever make up for the suffering you went through... and are still going through."
He sounded angry. I looked at him while he placed down another pawn. He sighed before looking at me with those dark eyes that reminded me of my dad and Silas.
"Nonna tells me that I'm too mean to you, but I believe it builds character."
That made me chuckle.
"You're my nipotina. I love you just as much as my other grandchildren."
I smiled and picked up another pawn.
"Checkmate." I grinned.
He stared in shock at our game. I was good at mind games, but he was a very good opponent. Just not good enough to beat me.
"I think I love you the most." He muttered.
I laughed and for the first time in a week, a warm feeling filled my chest.
I may still suffer but on the contrary to Diana, my life was only going to get better.
I won't let the pain and suffering drag me down.
///////////////////
They had arrived. I literally bolted out of my room, jumped down the stairs and pushed past the twins in the foyer. My parents were standing on the stairs outside while greeting Silas. I ran past them and jumped on top of Theo who just stepped out of the car.
He swiftly caught me and hugged me tightly. I buried my head in his neck and smiled so hard that I felt like my mouth was going to rip.
Oh, how much I missed Theo.
"Tesoro, did you miss me?" He chuckled.
"So much!" I confessed.
"I missed you too." He kissed my cheek.
I didn't want to let go of him but Amelia was getting impatient. She kept tugging my dress and whining to Theo to also hug her. We really acted like children around Theo.
"Where's my hug, brat?" Silas asked me when Theo put me down.
"Nowhere." I smirked.
Hector got out of the car as last and I gave him a hug. He patted my head softly and then looked down at me.
"You're okay?" His voice was soft.
"I'm good."
And I meant it.
He wanted to ask more questions but nonna came over and demanded him to bow down so she could kiss his cheek. It was funny to see a six foot five man bow down to a five foot one woman.
Silas picked me up from behind and then carried me inside like I was a sack of potatoes. Even though I was protesting and whining, I felt really happy to see him again.
My older brothers gave me a sense of safety that I needed now more than ever.
Later that day we sat around the dining table. Nonna had prepared a feast because she knew how much my brothers ate. I sat next to Theo, of course, and told him all about my stories.
"I'm never swimming with here again. She keeps trying to kill me!" Nicolas protested.
"I was only playfully drowning him." I grinned.
"There's no such thing!" Nicolas protested.
"There is!" I debated.
I did it to him three times already.
"Tesoro, you need to play carefully with Nico. He's sensitive." Theo winked at me.
Nicolas scoffed offended but just continued to eat.
"I'll playfully drown you tomorrow, brat. You didn't even say that you missed me." Silas grumbled from his seat in front of me.
"You too, princess." He pointed at Amelia who sat on Theo's other side.
She was eating contently and it brought a smile to my face. She was still in recovery but it was going so well. She was glowing and was gaining more confidence.
"I can't. We're going to the vineyard with Giovanni." She told him.
With we she meant Giana and I.
"Ew." I protested.
She knew how much I despised creepy Giovanni.
"Good girl. Boys are ew." Silas nodded in agreement.
"Giovanni isn't ew. He's handsome!" Amelia told me sternly.
"He isn't! I'm still upset that you hyped him up for nothing. I was expecting a hot Italian boy and instead got fucking Giovanni." I grumbled.
Giana laughed loudly.
"You have high standards."
"I'm not the only one who thinks he's not handsome! Nonno thinks the same."
Nonno sat at the end of the table close to Hector. They were discussing business despite nonna's disapproval. Nonno obviously liked Hector a lot, he had that constant proud look in his eyes around him.
When he noticed that I mentioned him, he simply nodded.
"Nonno is an old man. He doesn't know anything about beauty of younger men." Giana argued.
"I agree with Elena." All my brothers said.
Even Hector.
I grinned widely while Giana just shook her head with a soft smile.
"You're staying here tomorrow, princess." Silas told Amelia sternly.
She sighed while Giana shrugged her shoulders.
"I don't mind going to him alone."
Nicolas acted like he was throwing up. Giana just rolled her eyes but I was starting to wonder if she truly meant that she didn't have any feelings for him. They spent a lot of time together.
She had that wide-eyes gaze every time she looked at him.
Maybe she didn't realise it herself, but she was down deep.
///////////////////
Playfully drowning Silas was fun!
I succeeded in doing it five times. Even more than Nicolas because now I had protection, aka Theo who wouldn't let Silas get back at me even though I deserved it.
"Stop protecting that little shit!" Silas yelled at him.
"She's a baby, leave her alone." Theo snapped at him.
I was hanging on his back in the pool. My arms were wrapped around his shoulders and I grinned from behind him at Silas.
Silas came closer and my grip on Theo tightened. In one swift moment he lifted me up from Theo's back. He raised me high in the air and I squealed loudly. My hands grabbed his hair tightly as I panicked.
"Watch it, Silas!" Dad called out.
"You're lucky that you're the baby, brat." Silas told me.
He got out of the pool with me thrown over his shoulder. All I could see was naked back muscle. Silas was made out of muscle which really made him uncomfortable. I just felt pure muscle dug into my stomach.
"Put your sister down, caro. She'll get dizzy." Nonna told Silas.
He listened to her and put me down. I took a towel and wrapped myself with it. The same sleepy feeling overwhelmed me and I sat down on the first sun chair that I spotted.
It was a big one that had place for at least four people. It was already occupied by Hector. He was dressed in a pair of swimming trunks and a t-shirt. Earlier, nonna took his phone away and he fell asleep on the sun chair.
He looked peaceful and I could tell that this was probably the first time in a long while that he could sleep so steadily without any worry. I didn't want to wake him up so I carefully climbed on top. Once I laid down, I fell asleep.
It was so intense how easily I fell asleep. And the naps were always bomb as fuck.
I woke up and almost laughed out loud. During my sleep, I'd moved against Hector's side and cuddled right up there. My left arm was thrown over his stomach and my left leg over his left leg. But on the other side was Nicolas who was in the exact same position.
We were basically caging Hector in.
He was awake but didn't move. I gazed up at him and gave him a grin. He sighed and shook his head before sitting up. Nicolas who was still asleep fell on his face while I got to sit up.
"Stop touching me." Hector told Nicolas who was awfully needy when he was asleep or waking up.
He whined but then opened one of his eyes. When he looked at Hector, he stopped whining immediately and just grabbed the second best thing.
Me.
"Let go of the marmocchia. She and I have business to do." Nonno poked Nicolas with his walking stick.
The business was chess. Ever since I beat him, he kept challenging me. I didn't mind to repeatedly beat his ass. It was funny to see him all worked up and I like winning.
Plus plus for me.
I crawled off the sun chair and grabbed my pair of shorts before following him inside. Zia Angela and mom were sitting in the living room talking. They smiled at us as we settled behind the chessboard.
"This time, I'm going to win." He announced.
"Keep telling yourself that, nonno." I rolled my eyes.
I was simply undefeated.
We started the game and I could tell that he was more prepared this time. He seemed to have done more research which made the game more intense.
"Hector and you are the same." He suddenly commented.
I was too focussed on working out a plan in my head that it took me a while to respond.
"Heard that before." I muttered.
"You both get sleepy at the pool. Nonna always forces him to go to the pool when he visits, because it knocks him out completely."
I smirked a little. Nonna was a very petite woman but she had all the men of our family wrapped around her finger. She could make them do everything because no one wants to upset her.
I've only seen her upset one time and that was after my panic attack. She came into my parents room with some food and I could see the pain in her eyes.
"Hector is my favourite." He confessed.
"Not surprised about that."
He rolled his eyes and made his next move.
"He's an amazing Don, even better than his father and me."
I didn't expect that. Nonno always spoke highly about himself. I didn't think anybody could be better than him according to himself.
"But he works too much. I want him to settle, find a wife, and have children."
Hector with a whole family of his own? I couldn't imagine it. He worked so hard and much, besides he was technically raising us.
"I don't think that'll happen any time soon." I commented.
He shrugged but then his face dropped.
Checkmate.
Again.
"Marmocchia." He cursed under his breath.