If I Can't Love You

By hrhemmings

85.3K 2.1K 549

When Kian Lawley saved Hailey's life, she had no idea what she had just gotten herself into. She shares her p... More

Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Epilouge

Chapter 1

9.5K 125 73
By hrhemmings

Hailey's POV

I walk down the streets of L.A. My brown hair blows with the soft gusts of wind, and my eyes can't help but study the sky, the way all the blue, the pink, the orange fade together during a L.A sunset, until the sun pulls the colors down with it, into the world leaving us in a darkness that surrounds all. The palm trees are silhouetted by the diminishing light. I marvel at the beauty...I mean, how could I not?

Sure, my location is ideal;But life doesn't accommodate. I'm a servant to my parents, the parents who treat me like a piece of garbage. I only have one friend. Even in this big city I can't help but be lonely. So here I am, in a wonderful place, thinking about how awful my life is and how much better it could be. I mean, could anything get much worse?

It happens so fast. The sky vanishes as do I. A strong arm wraps around me and I'm forced into an dark alleyway. I scream, but a hand covers my mouth.

How is no one seeing this?!?! I wonder.

Once I'm all the way in the alleyway, my back is pressed up against a wall and I'm forced into a sitting position, with no chance of escaping. My eyes look up to see a man wearing a black jacket and hat. "Give me everything you have." The man whispers violently. "Now!"

I feel a tear trickle down my cheek as I take out what little money I possess and hand it to him. The tear falls onto my lips and I lick it away.

"15 dollars?! That's it?!" The man exclaims with a fury in his low, demonic voice.

"It's all I have, I promise!" I respond nervously.
The man sees my phone in my pocket and grabs it. "Nice phone." He says. "Mine now, though." He laughs, and starts to turn away, but almost right away he returns. I see his arm pull back, and he proceeds to beat me, punching me in the eye and then the gut; kicking me all over until I go limp.

The man chuckles, pulling out a gun and aiming it toward my head. How can human have the heart to do this?

I prepare myself for death.

"HEY, YOU!" I hear. The man looks behind him and is tackled by what looks to be a teenage boy. The gun falls out of the man's hand and onto the concrete and I scramble to get it, keeping it out of his possession.

A hand grabs my arm and pulls me to my feet. I run with the person out of the alleyway to find police cars surrounding the area. The person who pulled me out the alleyway looks back at me. I can barely speak because of what I see.

He has the complexion of an angel. Somewhat pale skin, beautiful, sparkling blueish eyes , a sharp jawline, semi curly brown hair swooped to the side on his forehead.

"Are you okay?"he asks,putting his arm around my shoulders. A chill runs down my spine. The angel touched me- wait what? No, he's not an actual angel. I'm gonna have to keep reminding myself that. It's an easy mistake with him.

"Um... Yeah, I'm-" My sentence is cut off by my body collapsing. My knees give out under me and I find my self weak and on the ground.

"Here, let me help." the boy says. He extends his hand and I grasp it, struggling into a standing position. The boy walks me over to a police car, opening the back door and having me sit in the seat.

"Thanks." I reply, rubbing my neck which is in pain.

"Hey,I didn't catch your name..." The boy tells me as he crouches in front of me.

"Hailey Foster." I tell him with a polite smile.

"I'm Connor Franta." He says. "It's nice to meet you, though the, uh, the circumstances obviously aren't the best."

I laugh. "Yeah, tell me about it." I see movement behind him and my eyes shift their focus. "Hey, is that your friend?" I ask, pointing toward the brown eyed, blonde/blue haired boy seemingly looking around for someone.

Connor looks behind him and smiles. "Yep!" He says, then yells at his friend, "Hey Kian! Over here!" The boy makes eye contact, runs over to us and smiles at me.

"Hey, I'm Kian." he introduces, sounding a little winded from fighting the man who attacked me. He then lowers his voice, and strikes a pose to make him seem manlier. "You may recognize me as the person who kicked some-"

I cringe. "Please don't swear!" I quickly request before he can say the word.

"Oh, sorry. Uh, the person who kicked some BUTT back there and saved your life. You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine I guess. My name's Hailey, by the way. Thanks for helping me. I don't know what I would've done without you guys."

"No problem." Kian says. "So... Wanna leave the crime scene?"

"Won't the police need us for questioning or whatever?" I ask.

Kian waves his hand as if to say 'that doesn't matter'. "I cleared it up with the police, their cool with it." Kian replies.

"I'm fine with leaving then, but you'll have to do me a favor."

"What is it?" Connor asks as he helps me up from the car and let's me use him as a human crutch.

"Y'all gotta find this girl some food because being mugged sure does work up an appetite."

Connor smiles. "Yeah, of course. We'll find someplace. McDonalds cool?"

I've heard of McDonalds, but, unlike all of the human population I'm sure, because my parents hardly feed me, I've never actually eaten there.

Despite that, I just answer, "Sounds good to me." Kian and Connor smile and me and we start walking away. As we begin to turn a corner, I look behind me to see the man who tried to kill me struggling to get out of the policemen's hold, and then being shoved into a squad car.

I can't help but feel sorry for him, no matter what he tried to do to me.

Kian and Connor continue walking, so I have no choice but to keep walking, too.

///---\\\

I lean my head back and relax as best I can while we're in Connor's car driving to McDonalds.

"I'll buy you a new phone." Kian offers. "I've got the money."

"Thank you," I reply. " That's really nice of you to do something like that for a stranger."

Kian turns around and looks at me from the passenger seat. "I have a feeling you won't be a stranger for long." He winks at me, and I can feel my face turn bright red.

We arrive at the McDonald's drive through a few seconds later and Connor starts to order us all a cheeseburger meal. We drive up, and get our food. The smell immediately enters my nose and I inhale all I can. I can only imagine what other delicious foods they must be cooking up in there to make such a good scent.

I nibble on the fries on our way to what I assume is either Kian or Connor's house, mainly to make sure they don't engage me in conversation. I don't really want to talk all that much after that.

A little while later, Connor pulls up into a driveway with a large house in front of it.

"Get out."Kian rudely says to me as he opens the car door and hops out, slamming the door behind him .

I sit in the car, not sure how to respond to the rudeness.

Kian turns around and sticks his head in the car through the rolled down window. "I'm kidding." He says with a smile. "Come on," he says. Kian opens the door for me and I get out. I limp across the driveway as best as I can, but when I walk through the door, I feel as though my body might give out from underneath me, so I grab onto Kian's shoulder for support.

Kian and I walk through the house and he helps me sit down on the couch in the living room. "Why is it so quiet-" I begin to ask, but before I can finish , Kian yells, "DUDE WE'RE HOME!" I hear several footsteps from throughout the house and 5 guys enter the living room from various doors and hallways leading to the living room. I only recognize one of them, that person being Connor who comes in from the door leading to the driveway.

"Hey, did you pick up the-" one of them starts to say but his eyes shift to me. I realize then they are all looking at me and I begin to be self conscious, but I don't know why. "Who's this?" One of them asks, the one with a hat on and long, curly brown hair sticking out the front. He gives Kian a look only guys give their friends when they bring girls.

"Seriously , JC. Gross." Kian replies with a disgusted look on his face. "Just because I bring a girl home doesn't mean anythings going on."

"Right," JC responds sarcastically. "Because whenever you bring a girl home, nothing EVER happens."

I'm not gonna lie, that last part disappointed me a little. So nothing will EVER happen then? I guess I shouldn't be too sad. Why would I even think anything would? We just met less than an hour ago.

Kian quick looks over at me and winks while who I now know is JC looks away, taking to the other guys in the house. That's reassuring, knowing now it was just an empty statement. But actually, as I think about how JC was just talking, maybe I should keep my space for a little bit.

"What's your name?" JC asks me. He sits down on the couch next to me.

"I'm Hailey Foster." I say and smile , trying my best to make a good first impression.

"I'm JC." He replies with a smile that gives my stomach butterflies.

"What happened to your face?!" I hear. I look over at the group of guys.

"Trevor!" Kian exclaims. "What the heck!? You don't ask a girl that! Actually, no- YOU DON'T ASK ANYONE THAT."

The guy with a long face and short hair shrugs. "Sorry..." He replies to Kian, the looks at me and says with an awkward wave. "I'm Trevor Moran. Sorry about that by the way..."

I smile at Trevor. "Don't worry about it." I tell him. "It's nice to meet you."

Kian explains to the guys for me what happened. "Girl they slayed that dude for you YAS KIAN!" The guy with the long blue quiff says. I laugh at him because the way he says it sounds completely ridiculous but hilarious at the same time.
He looks over at me and smiles. "I'm Ricky Dillon."

"I'm Sam." The boy next to him says, the one who kinda has a baby face.

Immediately my mind goes, woah he's adorable, but my mouth just says "Hey." And I smile. That's the only conversation I have with them the whole day.

Kian and I end up going to his room because I complain of not feeling good. Kian carries me up baby style, me in his arms, walks into his room, and gently places me on his bed. I'm already half asleep by the time he does that. Kian reaches to the end of the bed and pulls the covers over me. His bed is incredibly comfortable and warm.

Kian kneels down by the bed in front of where my face is. "You doin okay?" He asks.

I simply smile and nod.

"Good," he replies. "Is there anything you need?" He asks.

I hesitate to ask this, but I do anyway."If it's not too weird, a hug?" Despite the company recently, I don't usually get any attention or care or concern like this, I suppose I should take advantage of it while it lasts.

Kian smiles. "Yeah, of course." He leans over and wraps his arms around me, squeezing me tightly. So this is what a hug is like... My parents haven't ever hugged me before, so I wouldn't know. "I'll make sure you stay safe." He says to me. I feel warm and fuzzy inside when I hear those words. So this is what it's like to feel cared about. My parents have never cared about me before, so a I wouldn't know that either. "I promise." But it's only distant, because I fall asleep while he holds me in his arms, and as far as I'm concerned, that's the perfect place to be.

///||\\\

"Hey... Hailey?" I hear a quiet voice say. I open my eyes to see Kian, with messy blonde hair and sleepy eyes, in front of me. I realize he's actually laying beside me, and that sure wakes me up.

"uh what time is it?" I ask Kian worriedly.

"it's like 9:00 in the morning." Kian says.

Crud. I can't be here.

"I came to check on you in the middle of the night, and you were acting in your sleep like you eye was hurting you, so I brought you and ice pack. That's why I'm sitting in bed, I was getting you things if you need them, aside from the fact that it is MY bed." He adds with a wink.

I lightly laugh. "Ya, Ya. Thank you." I slowly sit up and rub my eyes, quickly pulling my hands away though because, sure enough, they're in pain.

I push the covers off and stand up. I reach down to pull my socks up, and look down to see that I'm not wearing my own clothes, but rather a large gray shirt and black sweatpants. I stop what I'm doing to try and comprehend the situation. "Where's... What..." I look up at Kian, and don't say anything else, I just look at him, waiting for an answer to a question I'm sure he knows I'm gonna ask.

He cringes. "Um... Ya... Well the thing is you were kinda feeling sick to your stomach at like 3 AM, and you kind of, blew chunks all over your clothes."

I mentally face palming myself right now. You idiot, Hailey.

"So I wasn't gonna have you sleeping in vomit clothes, so I put some of my clothes on you and put yours in the wash. I hope that's okay?..."

I run my fingers through my hair. "Ya that's totally fine... Um, is there any chance I could have them back?"

Kian nods and leaves the room to get them from the wash.

Did I literally stay here overnight? Gosh, this is gonna be so bad when I get home. My dad's gonna beat me harder than he did when I forgot to by him more liquor. I need to get out of here and back home ASAP.

Kian walks back in and throws my clothes to me. "Here."

I smile at him politely."thanks." I say.

Kian leaves to give me some privacy.

I quickly change. Just as I'm putting my purple tank top back on, Kian's voice enters my ears. "Done?"

I pull my shirt all the way on and turn around. Kian is leaning on the doorway looking at me. "KIAN!" I shout. My face turns really red and it starts to get really hot.

Kian starts cracking up. "Stop flipping out! I didn't see anything " He says. Kian throws something else at me and I catch it in my hands. I look down to see that it's a phone.

"On another note, I told you I'd get you a new phone." He says. "And there it is."

"Thanks, Kian." I say smiling. I walk through the doorway, squeezing my way through the opening in the door and rush to the living room. Kian follows me.

"Listen, Kian," I say. "As much as I appreciate everything you've done for me, I really should be-" I stop talking as I reach the kitchen and see a plate of pancakes.

Kian comes up behind me. "Those are for you." He tells me. " I thought you might be hungry after almost being killed, and then barfing, all that normal stuff."

A smile appears on my face as I walk over to them. I've heard about pancakes, and I've smelled them when my parents make them, but I've never had them before. "That's so nice, Kian!"I say.

I pick up the fork next to the plate and cut the pancake and putting it in my mouth. I have never tasted anything so amazing. This is like a little piece of heaven. I shovel the rest of it down, though as "lady like" as possible because I don't want to seem like a pig in front of other people.

I finish the pancakes as fast as I can, and head for the door.

"Woah, woah, why are you leaving so fast?" Kian asks, rushing after me.

"I don't want to leave, Kian, I really don't, but I really have to go or else-"

Kian grabs my shoulder and stops me, making me face him. "Or else what?"

I open my mouth to say what or else is but I can't. "You said you promised to keep me safe yesterday? If you want to keep that promise you have to let me leave right now."

Kian looks me in the eye. I can't wait any longer, I have to leave now or it will be too late. It probably is too late already. I quickly hug him and run.

"WAIT, HAILEY! COME BACK!" I hear him shout. My head looks back to see him running after me, but he's slowing to a stop. I keep running as if my life depended on it. Which it might.

<===========>
That's the end of that chapter. Sorry it was so long, they won't be as long as this from now on:) Thanks for reading, more will be comin soon!! :P

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