A/N in the last chapter I put Kevin O'Hare as the president of RB, but he didn't take over until later so at this time it was actually Monica Mason.
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April 21, 2007
Her hand fiddles with the scarf that dangled from the side of her collar. Behind that door sat everyone within the building that held an inkling of power. The director, Ms. Lewis and Monsieur Michael who were the company managers, Sarah Chatto the vice president and William's distant distant cousin, and a few other patrons who made up the board were sitting on the other side.
Surprisingly her hands weren't shaking, words were trapped in her head, and were struggling to come out, but her body stood rigidly still outside the office.
"You don't even know how proud of you I am..."
Her smile returns, remembering the words William said through her phone a few nights ago. The service was awful, both of their voices filling with static, and they only had a few moments before he had to return back to training, but she pressed her phone closer to her ear breathing the chilled night air outside of the theater.
He was back tonight, and she would get to see him once she was done here. Which was enough motivation to push through. They were now approaching the one month mark of not seeing each other. It ached to be alone, but she knew one day they wouldn't have to leave each other anymore.
You look amazing... She consoled her thoughts as they returned to the task at hand. Running her hands over the yellow chiffon shirt she went and bought just for today. The pants and shoes were old, the shoes specifically she had been wearing since her Upper School days, but even the comfortable wear added to the charm.
Yellow, while not her best color, made her look like the sun. Or so her grandma always said. So, she looked happy, and sophisticated with Zara's Gucci coat she was borrowing.
A click resounded in the hall, and time slowed as Jaclyn watched the knob twist and the door crack open. She took one last calming breath as the door fully opened revealing a smiling Ms. Lewis who ushered her into the conference room. Others sat evenly around the long table, most scanning her up and down with stoic faces.
It was the man who sat at the head of the table, perhaps the one person she didn't have to worry about oddly enough, that made her freeze.
Charles sent her a small encouraging smile, maintaining an air of professionalism like they both preferred. And yes, for the last week she told everyone that asked that she did not want Charles to come, but the twist in her gut unraveled as he smiled.
Even if nothing came of this, it had to be done.
"Miss Webber, you have something to discuss with us?"
Her gaze snapped to Monica Mason, the company director, as the woman carefully spoke. Based on the guarded look in her eyes, Jaclyn guessed Monica knew what this was about. That they all knew.
"I do, ma'am." Jaclyn's hand slipped into her coat pocket, feeling for the notecards she knew were there, but she had to make sure.
"Very well then." The graying woman said, flicking her hand to the other end of the table that remained empty. As Jaclyn walked to her spot she went over every little detail she wanted to remember. Every pause. Every stare. Every rise of her voice. It was choreographed like a dance in a way.
Look each of them in the eyes...
Don't forget to breathe...
She pulls out her notecards, giving each of them a polite smile before she starts. This allows her to take all of them in, Monica Mason is off to Charles' side, while Sarah Chatto is off to his other.
"A few weeks ago, I was pulled into Gillian Lynne's office," she paused briefly, taking a split second more to inhale softly as she stared all of them down. "She proceeded to tell me that dancers must be thin, that they must be underweight. In truth this is nothing but a stereotype, enforcing the negative precedent around dance."
"I know the onslaught of criticism from the american press has cast some worry onto this board, so much so we started up our weigh-ins again. Yes, there are evident flaws in the company's weight system, but I am not here to suggest you change something that is so deeply rooted in the history of dance. I have no problem with the company tracking my weight, the problem comes in when that number is used against me or my fellow dancers."
The words tumbled out with ease, like all curses, and tears, and pain throughout her career formed into effortless words. Everything she'd wanted to say came together. And it didn't matter if Director Mason was still dilling ominous holes through her, or that most of the other board members still looked unmoved.
She felt moved. She felt proud.
"It's understandable to expect us to be in shape. Strength is required to jump, an engaged core is needed to keep balance, and stamina is necessary to dance for a long time. However, I was cast as Juliet for our upcoming show over five months ago. Throughout this period I have not gained weight, nor have I lost muscle. If my appearance is a problem now then it should've been a problem then and I should not have been cast."
The more she spoke the stronger she felt. Her voice was composed never going above the careful tone she practiced in the bathroom. She didn't want to come across as an angry child throwing a fit, but she needed to be assertive so they wouldn't push her around.
"This board is allowing those you hire to bully your artists because they are privy to how much we weigh. Perhaps we should have an in-between person. A nutritionist with no connections to the company to keep out bias, and this person should be the only one responsible for guiding us with our health. I aso implore you to start teaching the children in the Royal Ballet School. Give them a program or a class that will teach them how to eat properly to fuel their bodies."
The older faces that looked down on her slowly started to crack with apprehension. As if they realised all the dangers that could come if she truly unleashed her full power on them. Jaclyn switched her eyes never lingering on someone too long. Her hands moved with her words, and she had to fight to keep the prideful smile off her face.
"I know we all idolize the idea of being thin and delicate, even I have dreamed of that look for myself, but a number on a scale is no reflection of talent, and these methods used are not helpful. They're mental abuse. When someone thinks of a dancer your first image is skinny, frail, and graceful. However the realistic dancer is strong, poised, and powerful. "
She paused briefly, a sudden statement coming to mind. One she heard years ago that changed her life.
"So, I'd like you to remember there is more grace in strength than you know."
She took three breaths, standing still at the front of the room with all eyes on her, before the silece finally broke. "Thank you for your insight, Miss Webber," Director Mason nodded and gestured that she could leave.
She went to exit, but Ms. Lewis cleared her throat bringing Jaclyn's attention back to the table. "I would just like to say I was very moved by your speech Miss Webber, and that the role of Juliet is yours no matter what "
For a moment she was stunned. She lingered, basking in the fact that she truly did that. Soaking up the moment when Charles allowed his stoicism to fall briefly, letting her see that he was proud, and when she felt satisfied Jaclyn gave the room of board members her biggest smile beofre gliding out.
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Before she could even take off her coat, William had her swept up in his arms. It being her first time seeing, feeling him, air surged back through her lungs like her life was starting up all over again. "You did it," he cheered, twirling her around, hands clasped around her waist as she dug her fingers into his shoulders.
"You don't even know how I did," Jaclyn giggled once they stopped, and her hands relaxed, going to cup his cheek. Out of habit her feet, that were still floating above the floor, fell into a pointed sous-sus position.
"But I know you were brilliant because you're brilliant."
Her heart lurched, feet finding the floor, but she hugged him again. "The role is mine. They're not going to take it away from me."
His hands slid down her waist, fingers hooking in the loops of her pants as he pulled her upwards so their foreheads rested together. Heat, even after all these years, burned across her cheeks, and her hands instinctively clutched at the front of his shirt for stability.
"Like I said," he mused, his words tickling her ears as he leaned down more, "You're brilliant."
Without thinking she pushed farther up on her toes, leaning heavily on his chest to pull him down, and kissed him. It wasn't a heavy kiss, more like she missed being with him and was trying to make up for lost time.
One hand stayed at her waist, wrapping farther to counterbalance her jump at him, and his other traced up her side until it rested right at the bottom of her head.
It was William who pulled her lower lip between his teeth eliciting a gasp from her, but before they could do anything else there was an aggressive shout from behind both of them separating.
"Will! You have to share her!"
"Zara!" Jaclyn gasped, her old worn flats slid across the newly polished tile of Clarence House as she rushed to wrap up the taller blonde in her arms. They hadn't seen each other since December with Zara's competitions and Mike's matches. It seemed more than half the time they were traveling somewhere.
"How've you been?" Jaclyn pulled back, looking Zara up and down.
Zara sagged, "Ready for a break."
"Not too much, I hope." Will stepped between the two girls taking advantage of the space to grab Jaclyn's hand. Her eyes rolled playfully, but she sighed dreamily as he did it.
"The European championships aren't until september." Jaclyn laughed at Zara's deadpan expression. They all knew a few weeks into the "season" Zara would be begging to go back to competing. The events could be fun, but neither of the Phillips siblings were fond of public attention.
"I'd be more concerned for Toytown than for her."
"How is he?" Will asked.
"We're ready to take the gold if that's what you're asking."
"Well focus on the championship now, the Olympics aren't for another year," Jaclyn reassured her oblivious to William's cringe from behind her.
"It's still gold... no matter what..."
"Oh..." her eyes danced between the two cousins, and William melted seeing that adorable lost look cloud her eyes. "Well I don't know sports."
"That's true she still calls halftime, intermission."
Zara laughed, and Jaclyn felt her heart exhale. That was a sound she missed, the excitement and wit that just followed her friend. "C'mon if we don't pick the movie soon, Peter and Harry will pick
"Well we can't have that."
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After finishing Love Actually Harry and Peter jumped at the chance to put in their movie. Jaclyn could lean back and watch as Eugenie and Bea tried to wrestle their larger cousins to the ground to only end up sitting back where they started. Only looking a little more dishevelled.
The group of them had taken over the large but dainty looking living room. Harry and Chelsy were sprawled out on the floor with blankets and pillows, Beatrice and Eugenie were on the baby blue love seat off to the side with Zara and Mike opposite of them, and Peter and Autumn were sharing a plush chair.
White light illuminated the dark room from the large TV, and as the previews started Jaclyn tilted her head to look up at William. He had snagged her favorite spot to watch movies. The new recliner Charles added as an attempt to start modernizing some of the rooms a little. It was large enough he could stretch out, and she was small enough to curl into a ball in his lap.
His gaze was still on the TV settled just above her head, so where her cheek rested on his chest she could admire him without him noticing. She liked him best like this, although she liked him all the time. There was just something about watching him do nothing. It was relaxing for her to see the ease in his breaths, or the tightness from his plastered smile for the press fade away.
"Jackie," Autumn whispered from the chair, "Can you come help me refill the snacks?"
With a quick pat to William's shoulder, signalling she was standing, Jaclyn stood and helped Autumn gather the quickly emptied snack bowls.
On the way to the kitchen they were stopped twice by kind staff members offering to help. Both times they declined swearing they needed to do it since they were the ones that decided to have a movie party.
"That still feels weird," Jaclyn mumbled as they entered the deserted kitchen.
"What does?"
She shrugged, taking down a bag of chips, or crisps as she was trying to remember, from the top shelf. "The staff. I know it's their job, and I appreciate their work, but..."
"It's hard letting people wait on you hand and foot?"
"Yes!" Jaclyn collapsed against the counter going to fill another bowl. "I feel like I'm starting to grasp everything and then I come here, and I feel out of place again. Everyone that works here is nice about it, but William told me everyone at Balmoral is more traditional and will expect different things from me."
There was so much chaos within the last few months she forgot she was going to Balmoral in July. Now thinking about it, and the fact that she was still grappling at who she would be as one of them was nerve wracking.
"I get it, and he's not wrong. My first trip I got a nice scolding from the head housemaid because I made my own bed." It was only when Autumn turned to her fully that it all clicked. In a lot of ways they were in this together, Autumn being Canadian. The two of them were going through the same things.
Autumn also had four more years on her being twenty-eight, and everyone knew she handled press attention with grace and kindness.
"How do you handle it?" Jaclyn found herself blurting out, but quickly added, "Like... adapt, but not lose yourself?" Her hands braced the counter, double jointed elbows turning the wrong way as she slumped forward.
"By doing things like this." She said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Hold onto the small things that no one will notice, but are important to you. Get things for yourself when you can, dress how you want when you know it won't be a big deal. I won't lie though it's going to be harder for you."
Her hands shuffled the bowls around on the counter looking at the cupboards with their glass coverings almost warily. But... she could do it.She could still tend to the gardens in private, dork out about Star Wars with William, and do what she wanted. This life wasn't a cage. She could have kids, and choose the books they read, have impromptu baking sessions, and allow them to mess around like her parents did. It wouldn't be the same, but it could work.
"Besides, you don't have to do it alone."
"What-" The question stopped as she spun around to see a silver ring with three diamonds was now occupying a spot on Autumn's left hand. Jaclyn's jaw hit the floor as she ran forward closely inspecting the beautiful ring.
"You're engaged?"
"That I am."
Jaclyn glared at the other blonde for her stifled laughter. "Does anyone else know?"
"His parents and grandparents, we're going to tell everyone else tonight, but I figured since I got you alone why not." Their arms now stacked full with snacks they started to make their return. The trip was spent with Autumn trying to shush Jaclyn as she spilled shocked words.
Walking back into the living area was sobering.
Their laughter stalled once they stepped into bright light, their smiling faces falling on the others who all appeared nervous. She almost didn't want to look at William, but she did. The moment she saw how crestfallen he was, she all but threw the bowls and knelt in front of the recliner.
"What's wrong?" Her hands locked with his removing them from his hair, and forcing him to look up. He looked solely at her, like it was impossible to do anything else, and in that moment something softened.
"The news leaked, so Harry and I aren't deploying anymore, and I won't be deploying at all." Her fingers gripped at his, the muscles in her face steeling over to hide her relief.
His voice teetered on powerless, and she felt bad for her relief. Especially since she knew first hand what it was like for someone to rip your dream away.
William felt powerless, useless even. He was determined to go to Afghanistan, to be normal for once in his life. How was he supposed to one day be the leader of the entire military if he never saw service? People will think he's a coward, undeserving-
"Will," Jaclyn's voice pulled him out of his inner rant. He focused on her gentle smile, and her hands that held to his like a lifeline. "I'm still proud of you, and everyone else is too." They were the same words he told her.
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Hey guys! I know this could have been better, but I'm still proud of it. Only seven chapters left I believe of part II now.
Also I made a Snapchat account for this account where I'll be posting updates and maybe a few cute videos if I ever get around to making them. Of you want see it go add Antoinette_II on snap!
Let me know what you all think, love you all!!!