geemajorseven mentioned before that Kimo and Connor reminded him of the song Endlessly by The Cab, and I really think this song captures the essence of Kimo and Connor's relationship so far! You can find the lyrics video of the song above if you want to listen to it!
Connor's POV
Numb. From my muddled thoughts to my lifeless legs; everything was numb. I felt like a fractured rock drifting through space and time; broken, useless and all alone. I was stranded in a sea of darkness with no lifeline.
I laid there, unmoving. Not that I could move even if I wanted to. My body was no longer mine. I could no longer control it. I couldn't walk. I couldn't run. I couldn't move.
The doctor had said that it could have been worse and that it had been nothing short of a miracle that I survived, so why did it feel like a curse or a bad joke told at my expense? Why did it feel like no matter how hard I tried, I would never be able to get back the life I once had?
I would never be able to run with Kimo in my arms or slide under a car to inspect it or dance with Kimo at our wedding. My mind reeled from thinking of all the things that had been ripped from my grasp. A bright future full of hope and possibilities had dissolved into despair, sadness and nothingness.
"We're discharging you to a rehabilitation centre where you'll stay for at least a month. You'll need to..." Dr. Park had been droning on about medication, physical therapy and my psychological health for a while now.
All I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep. I scoffed, earning a mild look of annoyance from Dr. Park. Could I even curl up in a ball?
I had come out of my coma a few days ago, and thankfully the pain had now dwindled to a dull ache. Since I'd woken up, there had been test after test, talks of the future and discussions of changes that had to be made to my daily routine. It had all been very disheartening, so I'd ignored most of what the doctors said.
"Connor, this is all very important information," Dr. Park said, seeming to realise that I hadn't been paying attention to her.
"It's okay, I'm taking notes," Kimo said from the chair next to me.
Kimo, my hope and the only light in my dark, bleak world. He had been by my side whenever he could. I was certain that he ached to know what was going on in my mind, but he had been patient like he promised he would, offering me quiet support and comfort.
I turned to face him, finding my Curly Fry jotting down notes in a little, red and white polkadot notebook. When he felt my gaze on him, he smiled and blew me a kiss.
His smile was like my personal sun. It warmed me and filled me with love and happiness, but there were still some corners that the sun couldn't reach, and my caves of despair were such places.
"Connor, did you choose which rehabilitation facility you would like to go to?" Dr. Park asked.
I nodded even though I had no idea which one it was. Kimo had asked me, and I'd told him to choose. It didn't matter which one he went with. They were all going to be equally terrible; all with staff poking and prodding at me under the guise of helping me. I shuddered at the very thought.
"Great, we'll go over the paperwork and have you discharged to the facility tomorrow." With that, Dr. Park left and so did a long breath I didn't know I was holding.
My eyes sought out Kimo's face, and he smiled and pulled his chair even closer to my bed.
Lines of exhaustion now defined his face, and I felt a pang of guilt for being difficult and wallowing in my sadness while leaving Kimo to deal with everything. Usually I was the one who took care of the finances and ensured that things ran smoothly, but Kimo had been thrust into that role.
"Is there anything else you need from home to take with you?" he asked.
That was another reason why I was certain I would hate the rehabilitation centre; Kimo couldn't come with me. None of the rehabilitation centres were close to our apartment or Kimo's workplace, so the commute to and from work would be too tiring and difficult. As much as I wanted him to stay at the centre with me, it just wasn't practical.
"Whatever you packed is fine." I ran my hand through his luscious curls. "I'm sorry I didn't help you choose a rehab or-"
"It's okay. I really don't mind, and I know you've been consumed with your thoughts." He smiled and kissed my hand which had come to a rest just under his cheek.
I didn't deserve him. It had only been a few days ago when I'd promised him I would fight for us, but all I'd done was fight the demons within, and even that fight I was losing. While he worked at the restaurant, took care of me and focused on his acting career, I couldn't even manage to keep myself from falling apart.
A gentle touch on my hand drew my attention, and I looked towards Kimo as he removed my hand from his face and intertwined our fingers. "I'm happy to take care of you. I don't want you to worry about anything." He released a tiny huff and pouted. "I'm a big boy, I can handle everything."
A small crack appeared in my caves of despair and the smallest of light shone through. It wasn't much, but it was enough to make me smile, enough to make me want to try a bit harder. "I know, but you shouldn't have to do everything alone. Want to tell me about the rehab centre?"
Kimo grinned and nodded, reaching into his bag and pulling out his polka-dot book and a pamphlet before telling me all about the sessions the centre offered. We also talked about finances and applied for another grant together. The more Kimo's shared, the lighter his mood became, and that ended up lifting my spirits.
When we were finished chatting, I realised that I had been the centre of our discussion for over an hour, and I hadn't even asked about him. "You haven't mentioned acting in a long time. How did the audition go? Is Margot still booking you new auditions?"
Kimo released a nervous laugh and refused to meet my gaze. "But we still haven't talked about your-"
"Curly Fry, what aren't you telling me?" I cupped his face and raised his chin causing him to very slowly lift his gaze to meet mine.
He took a deep breath and blurted out, "I got an email about a callback audition the day before you came out of the coma, but I never replied, and I cancelled all my auditions."
My eyes widened and my face broke into a huge grin. "You got a callback, that's great! I'm so happy for you! How could you keep such exciting news from me!" My face quickly fell as my eyebrows furrowed. "What do you mean you cancelled all your auditions!"
"I wanted to focus on your recovery, so I cancelled them."
My heart clenched as I fully understood how much he was giving up to stay by my side. "As touched as I am by that, you have to keep going to your auditions, and find out if you can still go to the callback audition. For the next month, I'll be at the rehab centre, so you won't need to worry about me at all. Then by the time I come home, I should be better equipped to deal with things on my own."
I wasn't sure about me being better equipped, but I was certain that I wanted Kimo to pursue his dreams. There was no point in both of us being miserable, and figuring out how to deal with all the changes heading my way was more of a me problem. No matter what was going on in my head, I would always cheer him on and support him.
Kimo peered into my eyes. "Do you really think I should? You're more important than any of that."
I smiled and smoothed his furrowed brows. "Yes, I really think you should."
A smile spread across Kimo's face, and he released a tiny squeal before jumping up from his seat and crashing his lips into mine. My hand tangled in his soft curls as his hands drifted upwards to caress my ears. I welcomed the familiar feel of soft, warm lips against mine and the delicate dance that they were luring me into. We melted against each other, both needing to feel the other close.
When we finally pulled away, Kimo's face was shining brighter than a full moon. "I'll continue with my acting, but I promise I'll always make time for you."
His excitement seemed to have rejuvenated me, and I smiled and pecked his lips. He giggled and leaned against my chest as my arms enclosed around him.
In that moment, I realised that in order for me to be happy, I needed my personal sun to be happy and shine as brightly as possible. It was the only way his light could reach the deep despair in my soul.
A/N
Thank you for reading! ❤
What did you think of the chapter? Do you think Connor should have encouraged Kimo to continue acting?
Announcement: Unfortunately, I don't have as much time to write as I did before, so I might no longer be able to update this book every week, but I will try. I am in the process of switching jobs and I'm also trying to figure out some details for the programme I'll be starting to study in January, so lately I've been a lot busier than I expected. I haven't had time to write any chapters in a little over three weeks, and this is the last of my reserve chapters, so it's very likely that there won't be a chapter next week. I'm really really sorry, and even though the updates might be slower, I would never abandon this book. I love it too much! I'll always update on Saturdays, just maybe not every Saturday.
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