SIENNA
I don't actually have to work today, but I don't want to spar with Roman even if it would be a really good learning experience.
The only reason dad taught me how to fight was to be able to defend myself. I thought it was fun, so I continued. I know that I'm good, but it doesn't matter. I can't defend myself anyway if it's the wrong person who attacks me. Even if I would train with Roman, I still could never take someone like him...someone like Josh.
I go to my room to shower and change. I always make sure to lock the door to both my room and bathroom. I even check them twice. I've become paranoid even when we don't have guests.
When I'm done, I walk down to the kitchen to make a smoothie. It's still early, so no one else has eaten breakfast yet. I'm always up before everyone else.
I mix the ingredients and pour it up in a big glass, and just then, dad, Zayden and Mikhail come down the stairs and into the kitchen. They say good morning and dad kisses my head. Zayden takes the glass from my hands and takes a gulp from the smoothie.
"Hey! Make your own," I scold him and grab the glass back.
"You could make some for me too."
"I didn't know that you were awake. It's better when it's freshly made."
"Your smoothie would be good even after an hour," he says just as Roman walks in all sweaty in just a pair of shorts. The tattoo on his right arm goes up over his shoulder and over his right pec. It looks really good, but I don't want to stare too much and give him a reason to think that I'm interested.
Walls up.
I turn to Zayden again. "Did you just give me a compliment?"
"I gave your smoothie a compliment. It's the best," he says, smirking, and I roll my eyes.
Dad and Mikhail chuckles.
"There's some left in the blender. Help yourself."
He pours the rest up in two glasses and gives one to Roman. "Taste this. You will never want another smoothie again."
"What's in it?" he asks me.
"It's my secret recipe, but don't worry, it's all healthy," I say, giving him a small smile, then walk up to my office.
I don't drink coffee and have never been able to eat a lot in the mornings, so I invented the perfect healthy smoothie. It took me some time and a lot of testing to get it perfect, so I'm not going to share it. If they want one, I will make it so they don't mess it up, and I only keep the recipe in my head.
"This is really good," I hear Roman say, and Zayden agrees.
I smile while walking up the stairs.
It's Sunday today, which means that we're having family dinner with all of our family and closest men. Grandpa and grandma always held it at their house when I was younger, but they are old now, so we're holding it at our house now so they don't have to bother with it.
Grandpa has retired from the family business. He was the one who started it when he lived in Italy and then moved here. He had a hard time giving it up completely even if he knew that dad and his men would run it just like he did without problems, but he realized that he needed to start taking it easy. Being Raffaele Amoretto will always make him have the same respect from people even when he's retired.
He and grandma are still as much in love, just like mom and dad are. They are so sweet toward each other, and I envy them. I was always positive that I could find that too, but now, not so much. Now, I only feel sad and nauseous thinking about it⸺being with someone⸺but it's only been 2 months, so I hope that will change. That I can heal.
It will be a full house today since the Zhakarov's are here too. I'm glad that Nat will be here so we can sneak off after dinner. We usually do that and watch a movie or just talk in my bedroom. We get tired of hearing the conversations about work and fighting. Even if Zayden, Adam, Rico and Damien don't compete, they train in the MMA gym several times a week. They usually talk about upcoming fights and the fighters at our gym. Josh for example. He's the star.
As you might understand, I don't want to hear about it.
I stay in my office all day until Nat comes over. She lives on the estate too, just like all of our family and men do. She still lives with her parents, like me. It's easier that way when we're all involved in the family businesses, and it feels safer here than getting a condo in town. Not that I think dad would let me.
Nat works at our realtor company and handles the finances there along with a few other employees. I'm glad that she stayed here too after college. Aunt Sofia has a daughter, and so does Lily. She's got two, but one is a little younger, and the older one went off to a different college, so she's not at home a lot. Nat is the closest friend I've got. My only friend.
There's a knock on my door and Nat walks into my office. "Are you still working?"
"Yeah," I say and look up from the computer.
Not that I've been doing a lot of work since I work so much that I don't have anything to do right now, but I've been binge watching Netflix series on the computer just to avoid the others.
"I saw Roman downstairs. Oh my God!" she says, fanning her face. "When you told me that they were coming here, I had to google him to see a more recent picture. I found a video on his latest fight, and fucking shitballs, I almost wet my panties. Seeing him live here in the house and hearing his voice with that accent..." she whistles out a breath.
I chuckle at her and shake my head. She's a little shy around guys when she first meets them, but she sure can talk about them when it's just us.
She lost her virginity a year ago to a really nice guy. She had a better first experience than I did, that's for sure, but since we have the dads, brothers, cousins, guards⸺the whole Amoretto family⸺that we do, it didn't last between them. He got sick of sneaking around and she wasn't ready to tell her parents about him.
When everyone has arrived, we go down for dinner. I hug grandpa and grandma that I haven't seen for 2 weeks. They have been to our house in Italy.
Grandpa still looks as much as a mafia boss as he ever has even if he's 81 and retired. He still wears suits, and now he walks with a cane that just adds to his superior demeanor.
Everyone still knows who Raffaele Amoretto is, and fears him...but to me, he's just grandpa. A grandpa who cares and protects his family.
The only ones that don't have a partner and kids are uncle Isaac and Aiden. They are free spirits, they say, but I know what that means. They are just not capable of having a relationship other than a sexual one. I love them anyway. They are the goofy uncles, but they are serious when it comes to business.
When I'm with my family, I can forget and almost be like my old self again for a while. I'm talking and laughing. It's all good. I think that's why no one has noticed the change so much.
They notice, but they have accepted my reason for it even if they give me worried looks sometimes and ask me if I'm okay. I'm just growing up and taking more responsibility, and like the rest of my family, I'm serious when it comes to business. A little too serious and working too much right now. Both mom and dad are nagging me a little about it and says that I can take it a little easier. I don't have to work so hard. We will manage anyway since everyone helps out and is involved.
Having Roman here makes me a little jumpier. I have to be on guard. Deep inside, I know that he probably wouldn't do anything to me, but I never thought that about Josh either, and like I said, I don't know Roman that much, only his parents.
After dinner, Nat and I walk up to my bedroom. We all have huge bedrooms with a walk-in closet and a bathroom each. I have a couch at the window, and my own TV. We sit down on the couch and talk.
"Roman looked at you quite a lot during dinner," Nat says while trying to find a movie we can watch.
"Don't say that," I say, letting out a breath and leaning my head against the backrest.
Nat looks at me worriedly. "I think you should talk to someone. You know, other than me. Someone that can help you move on."
"You know that I can't do that. Even if I went to a therapist, Dante would know and tell dad. Even if he doesn't know why, mom and dad would want to know. If something's bothering me that much that I have to talk to a therapist about it, they would drag it out of me. We talk to each other in this family and help each other out. We always have...but I can't tell them this," I say and feel the lump in my throat.
"I know," she says, sighing and hugs me.
I wipe away the tear that escaped my eye and we find a movie to watch.