The night that Jarlin finally replied and we agreed on a place and time to meet, I didn't get a decent sleep. I was so freakin' nervous! I wanted to ask Zoey to come with me but she was still working on the video to be presented on the Opening Ceremonies so I didn't want to bother her.
I then asked Zach but he just laughed at me. Said he didn't want to play chaperone especially to Jarlin and me. We had already caused him a lot of trouble, he added.
So with my heart on my throat, I waited at the public basketball court near their condominium building. That was early Saturday morning.
"Sorry, I'm late," he greeted. "I overslept."
I shrugged nonchalantly, pretending that this meeting wasn't a big deal. "No probs. Nice kicks," I commented, noting his Jordan shoes and a strangely familiar blue and white jersey.
"Thanks. You look good yourself," he said while he was taking out the ball from his duffel bag.
We had agreed to play basketball. That considerably limited the choices for my attire. Even if I wanted to look good and wear a little make-up, I still had to be in my jerseys and Nikes and knee supporters.
He breathed. "So, how do you wanna do this?"
I rolled my eyes at him. He had become cocky somehow. In a good way. "If you're still waiting for me to admit it, fine. I'm still recovering from my knee injury."
He began dribbling again. "Yeah, I read in your very first post on Facebook. ACL and MCL. That's gonna be tough."
I sniffed and went for nonchalance. "Well, I'm a tough girl." He couldn't be the only one feeling cocky.
"I know," he mused with a smile. "So, one question and answer for every basket, huh?"
"Yep. And because you're considerably taller and with longer reach, I am humbly requesting for a handicap match."
Jarlin grinned. "Okay. I'll let you shoot freely. No defense."
"How considerate of you," I muttered with a scowl. "But thanks."
"You do know we can talk about this over breakfast or coffee instead," he suggested.
I made a noncommittal noise in my throat. I didn't plan anything that would resemble a date. And breakfast or coffee was very much along that line. It would be awkward and uncomfortable. So, no. Besides, he said he only wanted us to talk and gave me free reign on where, when and what we'd do other than have a conversation. I didn't want him to have any weird ideas. Hell, I didn't want to have weird ideas either.
Basketball wasn't awkward for both of us. So.
Another toss coin and this time, he had the first shot. Which he made even when I was standing right in front of him.
"What the hell?" I snapped at him because I had not assumed my defensive post yet.
He grinned. "Do you have a boyfriend?"
The question caught me off-guard. "Huh? Wha-N-No, I don't."
"Good." He went after the ball, passed it to me gently and, true to his words, stayed under the basket.
I gathered my thoughts and dribbled my way to the free-throw lane. I flicked my wrist. Swish. I wasn't able to hide my smile for that before I realized he was nodding in approval. "Have you been here since freshman college?"
"Yes." He picked up the ball and dribbled again while I tailed him around, my eyes on the ball. "Are you seeing anyone right now?"
"You haven't even made a-" as I was pointing that out, he released the ball and it went in.
"You were saying?" he smirked.
I stared at him in disbelief. "No." This time it was I who chased the ball and he stayed where he was. I contemplated on his answer. So he did lose a year for the National Team. I couldn't help but feel bad about it. Thinking of my next question, I chose the corner and released the ball, but it hit the ring. Damn it. I didn't bother going for the rebound because he was already on it.
The way he was grinning wickedly made me nervous. I didn't like it. "In your letter," he began and I groaned. "You said you didn't want to acknowledge the attraction you have for me. Do you acknowledge it now?"
"Shoot the goddamn ball first, Trance," I snarled at him and he did. It was like the thing obeyed him. I was already under the impression that he had it rigged or something. "Argh, why are you bringing that stupid letter up now? It has nothing to do with this...this talk!"
"Hey, don't break the rules that you made. The one who makes the basket asks; the other answers," he reminded me. "And just to be clear, that stupid letter has everything to do with this. Do you still acknowledge your attraction to me now? Yes or no. It's as simple as that."
"Yes! Gahd, what a conceited bastard you are," I growled and my anger kind of motivated me to make a basket even when he was just beside me. I couldn't allow him to take advantage of my discomfort. "How come your parents easily allowed you to move out of the country?"
At my question, he paused, ball in his hands. "I told them I wanted this. It was the least they could do after dragging me to San Jose. Not that I regretted moving to Sandstone. Also, I like it here. Everything's cheaper."
I got lost listening to him explain, I didn't notice his signature fadeaway shot. Or maybe I was already expecting that all his field goal attempts would be successful. So his next question stupefied me.
"Do I like you?"
All the other questions I've been formulating my head ground into a halt in an instant. "What?" Were my ears playing tricks on me?
"I got the feeling it wouldn't come up in the list that you have in your head so I'm suggesting it. The answer is: yes. I like you. A lot. Since senior high in fact. If you were paying attention to my questions, you'd notice there's a pattern," he went on to chase after the ball because I was already rooted on the spot. "The follow up question would be: Would you like to go out with me some time?"
My mouth opened and closed. I couldn't believe I was going to hear him so candidly confessing. Was this even real? I should be elated by his words because I had been secretly hoping for this. But he was choosing me at the expense of a rare opportunity. "But the National Team..."
"What about it?" he asked.
"Tell me the truth, Trance," I asked, my heart banging around my chest either from this light workout or from his admission of his own attraction to me. A few days ago I was so jealous of Athena because they looked perfect together, and now he was telling me these things that made my heart swell! "Did you follow me here just to ask me out?"
He bobbed his head casually. "And put a fence around you, yeah...you could say that."
"Oh god," I mumbled in sheer shock and rubbed my palms on my face. "I couldn't believe you chose me over the National Team! You threw your chance to be with..." I gripped my head, my brain unable to wrap around the idea that I could have been the one responsible for him losing that rare offer.
"Relax, Justine. We can work this out," he said as if to comfort me.
"I can't possibly relax! I mean...it's...it's nice that this," I motioned to the space between us, "is mutual. It really feels nice. But you have to go back to California and probably grovel with the scout or something to get your offer back. Then we could take it from there," I blabbed on not really feeling and understanding it just yet as it was all happening too fast. But we could talk about that later. "You have to leave soon while the school year hasn't started yet, Jarlin."
He was silent, as if weighing my words. Why he was so casual about this, I had no idea. "You want me to leave. For California. So I could be part of the National Team," he repeated and I nodded eagerly. "Justine," he breathed. "Do you not like the idea of dating me? At all?"
Oh my god. Why did he keep on bringing that up? It was like we're talking about two entirely different things! "This between us could wait. National Team, can't," I insisted, trying to knock sense into him.
"I've waited long enough, Justine-"
"Okay. Let's have it this way," I suggested and he straightened up. "Race to fifteen. I win, you get on a plane right away and do whatever you can to talk to whoever to get your offer back. You win and..."
"I get to date you," he supplied and I blushed. "Deal."
Jarlin was hell-bent on beating the shit out of me. I wanted to feel flattered that it meant he wanted to go out with me that bad. But the constant nagging of his wasted opportunity was overpowering.
The first set ended. Despite losing, I was feeling proud of myself because in spite of my recovering knees, the score was eleven to fifteen. But I demanded for a second set, then another... And my score did not get better. If anything, it worsened.
"Justine..." he whispered, coaxing me to give it up. That or because I was making a hideous face just so I wouldn't bawl like a child. The score was five to fifteen. "Enough already. I don't want you to strain your knees unnecessarily. You have competitions coming up."
At a time like this, he could still think of me rather than his future. It was really annoying. "How could you say that?" I sniffled and wipes my eyes with the back of my hand fearing that because I was really frustrated, a tear might have leaked out without me noticing. "Compared to a possible stint in the NBA, I am poor choice. I could never live with that, Trance."
He gave me that face again like he couldn't get what I was saying. "What exactly did you hear from the twins?"
A tear threatened to slip but brushed it away harshly. I puffed my cheeks and let my breath escape from my lips in a shudder. "That you were being scouted for the National Team. But here you are, losing a year, asking me out on a date," I said in a sob. I wasn't being emotional and dramatic. I was frustrated.
"Alright. Did they tell you which National Team I was being scouted for?" he said slowly, enunciating every word.
"It's..." My face crumpled in confusion. I was pretty sure it formed a big question mark. "Wasn't it for the US...?" I searched his face and he was smiling widely.
"Did it not occur to you that I could be playing for the Philippines since I am technically, a Filipino?"
"You were?" I did not know that.
He nodded slowly. "I was born here. I was five when we migrated to the US. So do you get it now? It wasn't a US scout who approached me at all."
I stared blankly at his smiling hazel eyes as I tried to absorb his words. "Wha-?"
"It wasn't a guarantee. That I will be drafted for the Philippine National Team, that is," he shared. "But I did my research. The university that offered me a scholarship was known for producing basketball players who got drafted for the professional leagues. So far, they got around ten or more playing for the Philippine Team. So yeah, I'm staying and taking my chances."
The tears receded as well as the frustration. But I continued stupidly gaping at him.
Jarlin snapped his fingers in front of me to pull me out of the haze. "Earth to Justine. Hey..."
I blinked, feeling like an idiot for a spectacle that I just showed him. "Why didn't you tell me sooner?"
"Because you were so enthusiastic about wanting me to leave. You didn't give me a chance to explain. I gotta say, that was funny," he chuckled.
I buried my face in my hands again, now feeling embarrassed for an entirely different reason. "And you thoroughly enjoyed beating me four times, didn't you?" I grumbled on.
"No. I always looked forward to playing with you. It doesn't matter who wins or loses. I just wanted to spend time with you. It's as plain and simple as that."
I averted his gaze not because I knew I was beet red. But because he was right. I was so hung up on thinking that everything was a competition I had to win. I was so focused on being victorious that I completely missed the opportunity to learn and just enjoy the moment. Which was actually the point.
Maybe my losing streak that Jarlin had started was necessary because I was too stubborn to admit defeat. But now that I was more open to that thought, I kind of understood that losing a match didn't mean I was the lesser person.
"Okay," I exhaled, regaining composure. "Let's have that breakfast. Winners get to treat losers right?" I smiled.
"I don't like being referred to as the winner especially when you're the other person involved," he corrected me as he grabbed his stuff and led me to the parking lot. "What about referring to me as your boyfriend instead?"
"Hold that thought. We have a lot of catching up to do," I said trying to be casual about it even though I knew I was blushing an even deeper shade of red and we both know what that meant.
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Posted on 5 April 2015, Sunday