March 30, 2007
At intermission, or halftime as Chelsy and Kate reminded her, she got Up to go get a drink. In her peripheral vision she watched half the cameras swoop after her. At least they were far enough away she couldn't hear the clicking.
The best part about these fancy elitist sporting events was that there was always free refreshments, and snack spreads. Jaclyn snatched a water bottle, the battle the expensive architectural typ e, and her eyes snuck to the snack table.
Weigh in on Monday
You should only have fluids for the next twenty-four hours
As soon as the thought crossed into her mind her teeth ground together. She refused to develop an eating disorder over this, she wouldn't give that kind of power to anyone no matter what they said. The press could cause as much trouble over her appearance as they wanted, which they were so blinded by engagement rumours they probably wouldn't, but her career almost ended. People thought she was anorexic last time. There were no more chances.
In a flourish of dramatic defiance she swiped some cheese cubes, and forced them down her throat. Ignoring the sinking sickness that threatened to swell in her gut, and the ache that bubbled from her stomach. Lord, when was the last time she ate something solid? For days she moved through everything quickly barely giving herself time to register whether she was breathing, and now that she stopped... Water, smoothies, broth... All fine options, but nothing substantial.
Maybe that was why her fingers were starting to turn brittle, shaking when held in second position for too long. Maybe that was why her head was screaming at her, and her stomach wanted to cry in a whirl of cramps. Why her muscles felt like melted plastic stretching till stiff and then weighted with lead.
She grabbed a few carrots for good measure.
"Careful with that." The sweet voice was a materialization of her inner thoughts, and for a second she thought her mind manifested a human form until she turned, a total of nine baby carrots cradled in one hand, and saw Olivia.
"Excuse me?" Jaclyn asked, as poised as she could be with her heart ramming her ribs. Olivia smirked, tossing her hair and grabbing water for herself.
Jaclyn swore staring into the lime eyes of Olivia Richards that a person could look completely innocent and diabolical at the same time. "My mother's a good friend of Gillian Lynne's. I overheard her talking about your situation," she grasped Jaclyn's shoulder with a pout, "If you need anything I'm here to support you."
"Thanks, but it's not an issue anymore." Defiance flickered in Olivia's stare, she clearly wanted to push the subject, but that urge settled in her cold hands, squeezing Jaclyn's shoulder. With her pulse forced against Jaclyn's skin she could feel the redheads' heightened energy. Whether it was nerves or anger she didn't know.
Trapped in the other girls' painted claws, crucified under pouty lips, Jaclyn emitted the same intensity. She wanted to look around, to see if anyone nearby was watching behind cupped hands and side eyes. If so, what were they saying? Most likely spewing praises for the precious honorable lady who devoted her time to charities and hospices.
Maybe, Olivia was a good person, Jaclyn was just never allowed to see it
The possibility flew from her mind seconds later as Olivia's facade of burning excitement returned.
"I also overheard you talking to Kate and Chelsy-"
Jaclyn falsely giggled, trying to pull away from the girl's grasp, "do you just overhear everything?"
"Were you talking about marriage?" She mockingly giggled as well, ignoring Jaclyn's question. "I empathize with you, I truly do. Everyone is pressuring you, I'm sure it's nearly enough to make you rethink everything."
"No," Jaclyn snapped, finally drawing back from Olivia's grip, "not really."
As she turned to walk away, nails that were early sculpting her shoulder now tangled around her wrist, snapping her back so they were once again close. It was took all her self prreservation to not throw the carrots still clutched in her hand at Olivia.
"Listen here-"
"Is there a problem ladies?"
Jaclyn wasn't the girl who wanted or needed saving. Even if it meant screwing up her own life time and time again she was determined to do it on her own, but when Harry's unusually gruff voice interrupted the inevitable spat she exhaled.
His tone lacked the usual teasing, more in warning than malicious, and his glare was enough to make Olivia take a step back. "Harry," Olivia gushed, every muscle in her body clenching at the other, "it's so good to see you. You're playing great."
His mouth quirked in a grin, spite still locked in his glare, "Liv, always a pleasure." The red head turned towards Jaclyn, silently asking her if she was okay. All she could do was shrug.
Olivia gasped, "Oh, Oliver's calling for me. It was lovely catching up Jackie," she wiggled her fingers at Harry, and pranced off.
"Can't stand that woman," Harry said once she was out of earshot, both of them watching her until she sat down.
"She seems like a really nice person to everyone else," Jaclyn tried to reason.
Harry snorted, "she's fake."
"You're playing well," Jaclyn said, punching his shoulder playful right in the spot where a grass stain disrupted the crisp polo he wore, a reminder of how he fell earlier.
Rolling his eyes Harry shoved her back, some cheek poking through. "Nice try avoiding the topic."
"Thanks I thought that was pretty good," she flipped her sunglasses down her nose, almost losing them in the process "Ya know, since the only thing that can distract you is talking about you."
He clutched at his heart gasping, earning a few incredulous stares from the people trying to creep by them. "You wound me Jaclyn Webber."
"I try my best."
Ratty converse scuffing at the grass, Jaclyn started nibbling on the carrots she almost forgot about, looking around as Harry settled down from his jokester high. Intermission would be coming to an end soon, the other guys were starting to huddle back up on the field, and the man tasked with watching Harry's horse was looking around anxiously for the prince.
"I'm glad you came today," Harry said. Caught off guard Jaclyn spun to face him, her last carrot balanced between her teeth. She quickly finished her snack levelling him with an unimpressed stare. "Your girlfriend already gave me the I'm proud of you talk."
The air around the two of them was sucked away, Harry darkening and losing himself in the sporadic forest off in the distance. His fingers dug into his pants, and Jaclyn took a hesitant step back. He didn't notice. His lost expression mirrored that of Chelsy's when Kate mentioned marriage.
Jaclyn wrung her hands together, asking, "Is everything okay between you two?"
"You've got enough going on-"
"Doesn't mean I can't be here for your guys," she stopped him, trying to move around him to find his eyes. Even as she stood right in front of him he looked beyond her.
"We're just fighting," he finally mumbled out, "I know you and Prince Charming don't, but most couples do." The bitterness attached to his words made her flinch, like he was jealous of what William and her had, as if he thought it were too easy for them...
"That's not fair. Will and I have plenty of fights," she tried to remind him, voice gentle and soft in an attempt to allure him back.
Harry didn't budge. Because no matter what Jaclyn and William went through the universe would align for them in the end. They had the strength to endure the pressures of being in the spotlight, to handle the scrutinization. They even had the backing of his family. It was clear, no matter the headaches Jaclyn caused his father and grandmother, they both liked her work ethic and how that would translate to royal life. He and Chelsy were no William and Jackie, and for the firm that wouldn't do.
Harry shook his head, "They're calling me, I'll see you after."
-----
April 2, 2007
"Was there anything you learned after this weekend?"
Jaclyn gulped, her body wanting to lean away from the countess, but also afraid to do so. "Don't we have a lesson-"
"This is the lesson today Jaclyn," she tossed the tabloid down on the table, "The press, and how to avoid it. You have the grace and intelligence for this job, but you still make small mistakes like this."
"I'm still not entirely sure, I know what I did wrong-"
"Look at the cover."
Without even thinking her eyes turned down to the big blown up picture. Chelsy, Kate, and her were all sitting down, knees pulled up to their chests. Chelsy's smile was directed towards the match going on in the background, but her gaze was lingering over to her. Kate was on her other side sitting tall, and managing to look like a class act even as she giggled.
Jaclyn forced herself to stare down herself where she sat front and center, wavy tangles brushed over the top of her head all to one side, sunglasses hiding her squinted eyes, and smile wider than she'd seen it in awhile.
That's where she saw the problem. The girl on the cover looked kind, approachable. She looked like your everyday normal woman relaxing with her friends rocking Star Wars shirts and converse. The firm wanted a polished young woman. Someone pretty, polite, but distant. They wanted a woman who everyone could put on a pedestal, who resembled old grace and beauty. They wanted her to look like the unattainable.
"I'm sorry," Jaclyn sighed, dropping her gaze from the magazine to her lap where she sat stiffly in a pale pink skirt.
"After your trip to France I was impressed," Lady Mountbatten sighed, pressing her fingers to her temple, "I thought we moved on from this."
"This," her fingers twitched as she pressed them to the papered surface, "Is who I am. How am I just supposed to forget that?"
Lady Mountbatten pulled the magazine back, sitting down across from Jaclyn with the classic aristocratic blank gaze. "I can't tell you how, you must figure that out, but it is essential you do."
Jaclyn slumped back in her chair. How could she go from feeling like she could actually pull it all off weeks ago, to feeling like a failure now? She did good, and then it was all forgotten. She wasn't a model like Chelsy, effortlessly graceful like Kate, or infinitely charming like Olivia. In all honesty she was decent looking at best. Her face that used to be pleasant and youthful smudged with bags and leftover makeup from shows. Her grace was her strongest attribute, but even then she slipped up. Bending over too far to laugh, walking awkwardly turned out, or just flat out tripping in heels. Not to mention the only people she could charm were the ones under ten.
"I can't do this,"she croaked.
Lady Mountbatten turned white, eyes widening as her hand clutched at her chest. "I beg your pardon?"
Jaclyn looked up, vision blurring as her nerves reared through her. Her boyfriend was being deployed, and she couldn't tell anyone. She had to choke on lies to her parents, force smiles in class, and keep everything buried in. Her choreographer was trying to force her to lose weight for an aesthetic, and on top of it all she was losing the one part of herself she loved more than anything. Maybe it wasn't classy to wear oversized graphic t-shirts, but she loved them, and maybe it was unseemly to leave her hair ragged but it reminded her of her grandma Janet, the woman she inherited the waves from. She would do it, give up these small unimportant parts of herself, but she would miss them.
"Jaclyn look at me."
Her watering eyes snapped up with a head still swimming, and she almost cowered under the older woman's reprimanding stare.
"I don't want to hear anymore of this self depreciation," Lady Mountbatten drilled out, not upset, but forceful. "Do you see Chelsy Davy here?"
Jaclyn shook her head.
"Do you see Catherine Middleton or Olivia Richards here?"
Again she shook her head.
"You, Jaclyn Webber, work everyday of the week for hours a day. You care for your friends, for your family, you care for people you should not care about. You have press that hound your apartment, and the theatre, and yet I've never once heard of you missing work because of it. I know you speak to each member of the staff that you run into at Clarence House, no matter how late it will make you. I know even after you dance all day you volunteer at the local children's hospital because you feel bad for not being there for your brother, so you're there for everyone else. I know you could use this as a charity ploy to pull good press, but you do it in secret to keep paparazzi from bothering the families."
Lady Mountbatten, though her expression was still quite scary, reached across the table. "You are far from perfect, but I've seen you rise to the challenge like you did at his graduation back in december. There are moments and pictures I see, and I know you'll make a wonderful duchess," she stopped to squeeze Jaclyn's hand hard. "But you must believe it. The Queen does not allow things like this to happen, but His Royal Highness was willing to tear the country apart for you."
Jaclyn gulped understanding, there was no option, but to succeed.
-----
Kind of a filler chapter, but also not really. I'm really excited for what's to come because Jaclyn finally starts to consistently stand up for herself to everyone. Like she finally starts to grasp her worth, and I just love her with my whole heart. Also only 9 chapters left until Part 3 (which is possibly one of my favorite parts because of *Spoilers*) I know we're still a ways away from Duchess Jac, but boy is she going to be amazing. The cultural impact this girl will have on the fictional world is amazing lol.
Anyways let me know what you guys think!