"I just don't get why you were literally crying, Anna", Mason walks up and down the little space in our cabin. "Mason, calm down" I sit on the bed with my head in my hands completely overwhelmed and with a headache after I had this massive cry. Mick was completely helpless and so was I. I should be happy reliefed. Even after hanging up on Mick, after I made him clear that it's tears of joy, which I know he doesn't believe me, I watched the video literally a million times and all the messages from the driver's made sense now. I couldn't help myself but to sit there and let the tears roll down my face. Maybe it is really the relief that I don't need to feel guilty anymore, that I am happy with another guy around him. But maybe I was crying because I didn't want him to be with another girl. This last one is definitely what Mason thinks from the moment he laid eyes on me and the video. He flipped. Literally stormed into the cabin. I followed him, trying to clear the air. But I felt bad trying to convince him that I was relieved when I wasn't sure what I was feeling myself. The clearest thing in my head right now is that I am completely fucked up. "I will not calm down" he screams at me. He stopped walking and stand right infront of me. "Don't scream" I am holding myself back. The normal reaction for a person would to scream back. Say my thoughts out, but he was actually in the right so I need to try to fix it. "Don't tell me what to do."he rubs his forehead frustrated. His eyes look tired his happiness is wiped away like a wave just came and cleared his face. Being trapped in this little space doesn't help either."Please my head hurts Mase" I try to convince him to at least lower his voice. I rub my palms with my fingertips and my throat is screaming for water. All the liquid I lost because of the crying is dearly missed by my body. "Are you serious?" his voice cracks at these words. I just realized it wasn't the smartest thing to say. But before I can say anything he goes first. "You cried over a guy that you fucked, that has a girlfriend now. Who do you think I am? Do I mean something to you whatsoever?" Guilt overcomes me when I see tears in his eyes. I jump up and grab his hand. "I am trying Mason. I try so fucking hard." "That's not enough Anna. We are at the same fucking spot for a month now. You won't sleep with me. You cry over other men. You still get shy around me. What can I do to make you comfortable." He is completely clueless how things should go further, I can see it in his face. I can read it like a book." I feel comfortable around you. We have a great time together and I really like you. But I just need your time.""Anna I am falling for you. Madly. But I need something back. I feel like when we do a step forward at one point you go two backwards." I stay quiet not able to speak. He is right. It's always me who backs out. "Do you still love him?" I don't even need to ask, which person he means. The face of Lando appear right in front of my eyes. A face that hurts my heart. But there is too much pain to find any love. "No" I whisper, being pretty sure. Mason nods. "Do you love me?" "Not yet", I whisper again avoiding his eyes. "Neither do I yet, but I am falling in love with you Anna. Every second we spent together I fall deeper." My jaw drops. I didn't know he is that committed to me. My eyes find his and his whole face relaxed. He even wears a small smile now on his face. "I don't know what to say" I mumble still holding on to my hand. "You don't have to. If you could kiss me would be answer enough." he smiles down on my, his anger far gone only affection left in his heart. I get on tiptoes and press my lips on his. He deepens the kiss and let us fall on the bed. We spend the whole evening in the room, skipping the dinner. We kiss, hug, cuddle and laugh. It's the time we two need together just in our own without any interruptions, without other people. Just the two of us until we fall asleep to the slight movement of the boat caused by the waves.
When I wake up it's still early in the morning. Enough of this cabin I get out of bad and quickly change from my sleepwear to a bit more suitable outfit. With my phone in the hand I leave the room with Mason behind and make my way to the top Dec desprate for fresh air. On my way up there I meet one of Stewardess of the boat. She just layers the table for the breakfast. "Good morning. Did you sleep well?" she greets me with a smile. I couldn't believe the standard of this boat. A private chef and staff looking after us like we are royals. It's absolutely mental. "Good morning. Not that well but enough. How are you?" I smile back at her. I don't want to talk to anyone right now but it's polite and she just does her job. "I am good thank you. Can I get you anything?" She continues to fold napkins. "A glass of sparkling water would be lovely, but I can get it myself don't worry." "No it's fine I will get it for you. Are you going up the sundeck, there you can see the rest of the sunrise." I nod at her "Thank you" and make my way. My head feels heavy and a little dizzy at the lack of sleep. I hate fighting with Mason, but more I hate the fact I lied to him. I did cry because Lando was with another girl, but it was because of relief. It hurt. But what I hate the most is myself at that point. I thought with my decision in Monaco everything is clear and could go further but from there it got so messed up and twisted. I legit have no idea anymore what I think and what I feel or what I want. I just let my body sink on a daybed and watch the sunrise. It's pretty much silence just the waves and the birds in the sky that make any noises. The stewardess comes up with a ice-cold glass of water with a slice of lime in it. Under her arm is a blanket. "It's a bit chilly still so I thought its good to make you a bit more cozy." She explains. "And also her is a little snack before breakfast. It's the selfmate granola bites with all kinds of nuts and a bowl of fruit. If you like something else just ask. Enjoy." She smiles at me. I am amazed by what my eyes see on the little tray. "Thank you so much" I say to her. "Pleasure. Can I ask what would you like for breakfast?" "Just scrambled eggs on toast is fine for me. But I will eat with the others" She nods and makes her way down to leave me alone. I grab one of the granola bites and place it in my mouth. It's fucking delicious. So I immediately take another one. Just a few minutes later the bowl is empty. I wrap the blanket around my bare shoulders I was a little too optimistic with the temperature in the morning I was wearing a cropped top and shorts. The blanket warms me up a bit. With the sunrise nearly over I grab my phone and see that I have a new email.
Dear Miss Winter,
it's our honor to send you the message that you have been accepted to the University of Monaco.
The semester will start at the 1st of September. All Infos you will find in the attached documents.
We welcome you to the class of 2022!
Kind regards
The University of Monaco
My jaw lays somewhere on the ground. I couldn't comprehend what I just read so I read it again. The adrenaline rushes trough my body. This could be a chance. A huge one. I dial Micks number in the need of his advice. "Hello?" in my rush I forgot that it's awfully early for someone who is enjoying his free time. Micks voice is still sleepy and raspy since he just woke up. "Sorry Mick, I just need to tell you something real quick" "What is it?" "I got accepted in Monaco" "No way! Congrats." he shouts out in surprise. "Anna got accepted into Monaco" he whispers to a person who was with him. I figured it would be Justine. "Congrats Anna" I hear her say into the phone. I smile "Thank you" "Are you going?" Mick hits the nail on the head. "I don't know. I really want to, but I can't make this decision without Mason no?" Mick laughs "Of course you can. It's your own decision. He should accept it one way or another." "I don't know. I have to think it through. What's your opinion?" I mumble. A sight on the other side let my eyebrow jump up. "I will not make the decision for you darling but if you ask me you should go. It's an amazing opportunity and only a year. A fresh country away from home will be good for you."
It will be good for me is all I can think about while I place a big bite of the scrambled egg in my mouth. I had a long talk with Mick about the whole thing and the decision is pretty clear. I will move to Monaco. My eyes lay on the one person that gives me a stomachache. He takes a sip from his juice and winks at me which makes me smirk. Would it be the end of us when I tell him? And would that be so bad? I like Mason a lot and I think we might work it through but when I think back to the weeks of the Euros and how difficult it was, it worries me. I will talk to him later about it.
"Daniel" my voice is quiet, it's more like a whisper. I sit on the edge of the boat and my feet are in the warm water of Greece. The sun is shining beautifully like always and works wonders slowly on the color of my skin. I protected myself right after breakfast with a thick layer of sunscreen and the sunglasses I wouldn't dare to forget. Its quite a surprise I didn't get a sunburn from this mornings sunbath on the roofdeck. "Shorty?" I hear his accent. When I close my eyes I can see him smiling with his phone in his hand. "Do you have a moment?" "Always. What's up? Are you alright?" he sounds a bit more far away from the phone then when he picked up. "Where are you?" I ask, hoping he is not driving or something. "At home hanging up my wash, why?" "You can actually do that?" I joke. "Ehm yeah?! I am a grown fucking men Anna." he chuckles. My eyes are fixed on the sparkling water around my feet. I laugh at his comment. "So? Tell me what's going on." I hold my phone closer to my mouth. "I got into Monaco University" "WHAAT" I hear him scream then there is some sounds that sound like something fell over but he is way closer to the phone when he speaks again "Oh my fucking God. Congratulations shorty!" He screams. I laugh at his reaction. It's just like I imagined it. He is just a sweet guy. "Thank you Dani" the smile on my face is huge. "Wait.. Hoooold on.. Please tell me you will ask me if you.." "Stay with you?" I interrupt him. "Yes mate I will definitely ask you because I literally need to be there at the first of September the latest for my first lecture. So I don't have that much time to find a place for me own." "Are you joking?" he sounds actually offended. "Anna you can stay as long as you like. I have way to many rooms anyway. It will be lovely to have you around and have someone who takes care of the house itself. And we will be roomies. This is sick. I literally wanted a roomie for so long but I thought I would be to old for that. We will have movie nights with popcorn. We throw partys together. This will be insane" He talks and talks I can't help myself but to smile. Its exciting how excited Daniel is. It will be a great time at Monaco. Leaving the UK at this point just feels right even if it's meant to leave Mason behind. But it's only an hour flight or so. "Oh and Max can come over and Charles together with Charlotte and we could do a game night. We can do some baking and if you could cook I could do the laundry." He goes on. Overwhelmed by his happiness all I can say is "Sure." "Do you want to bring your stuff like furniture or how are we gonna do that?" "Actually I haven't thought that through yet. I just got the acceptance mail this morning and then I needed a few hours to think this through but I think it's a good idea." "Yeah well off course it is Anna. You will love it here. And I will ensure you, there will always be enough sunscreen for you." "Arse" I laugh. We talk more about the whole moving topic and figured it would be best if we do it simple and just take my clothings and the dearest things to my heart with me to Monaco and leave furniture and stuff behind. I am not sentimental at all with these anyway. All I need should be able to be transported easily. The date we also already set. I would sent down a few boxes with stuff a week early and would pick up the last stuff my own on the Monday after the Race in Belgium and fly down with it the same day sometime in the night to Nizza where Daniel would pick me up. I had a day to settle in before the Uni life would start. Sounds perfect but there is one big thing that still annoys me. The fact that Mason doesn't have a clue yet. So I hang up on Daniel after a hour of talking, planing and laughing.
The sun is now shining down on me brutally. It's better to go and put another layer of sunscreen on. When I arrive at the living room or whatever it is called I see Laurie snoozing on a sofa, the boys are nowhere to be seen. I slip into our cabin to grab the suncream but see Mason just walking out of the bathroom. He is top less like the whole time in the boat and shows me his tiny teeth. The footballer is in a way better mood then yesterday but that would probably change in just a moment. "Hey there you are" he gives me a little kiss. "Where have you been for so long?" "Just cought up with Daniel. Do you have a minute?" "Sure" he smiles and rubs in the suncream over his arm. "I will move to Monaco" I just spit out without talking around the fact. He stops in his motion and his smile drops. "What?" his eyes find mine. He is not amused. "You joking?" "No. I got accepted at the University and I will move there for a year." "I mean.. I didnt even knew you applied." he mumbles, not sure what to say. "I didn't thought I would get accepted tho." "For a year yeah?" I nod. "Okay. That's cool. We can deal with it no?" he starts again slowly to rub in the white protection stuff. I am surprised by his reaction. "Of course we can" I say with a huge smile happy about his positive reaction. "And where are you gonna live? Where do you get money for food?" he is sceptic. "I will live with Daniel." "So that was what took you so long" I nod again "Yeah I will move there on the 30th of August " "That's very soon." "A month and one day to be precise" I smile at him in a cheeky way. "Anna, I am not completely happy about that not gonna lie. Especially after our conversation yesterday, but I respect your decision and am happy for you. This is a great opportunity and we will make it work" he smiles at me, it's not a very big one but it's enough for me. I jump into his arms, my heart filled with joy. "Thank you Mason" I whisper in his ear and then take his head into my hands. "Honesty. Thank you so much" and I place a kiss on his lips.
***
There is part two for today! I hope you like it. I would like to hear your thoughts about it as well. And once again: Merry Christmas!!