I take Masons hand and step out of the vehicle. The sound of the engines fill the air. I am happy to show him my world for once. It's been a few difficult days since the final. He was so depressed that it was hard for me to make him smile. I missed his gorgeous smile. But with every hour we spend together his old him got back. He is not back completely but I don't expect that from him. It was a huge downer for him. We agreed that coming to Silverstone would be a great opportunity to finally get out again. After staying at home for so long my body screams in joy to be back. Mason didn't want to be there for the race itself because obviously press and that would be here and he wasn't ready. But he is here for Qualiday which was also very nice. And even better it was, that we are staying in a hotel quite close from which we have less of a way to the airport when we will go on holiday with his mates on Monday. We both really look forward to it. But before that it's time for the Silverstone race.
The cameras flash at us when we walk over to the gates. When we slip in Mason stops walking. He takes a good look around. "Men it's loud here"I laugh." Not as loud as in the stadium" "I doubt it" he smiles down at me. My stomach is filled with butterflies and my heart fastens up. I give him a little peck on his arm. "Should we grab something to eat or drink before we go to see Mick?" I ask while rushing through my thick hair. It was lose around my face flying in the slight wind. It's unusual warm in England but my skin welcomes every bit of sunshine it can get. "No I am alright. Do you want to see Mick now? " I nod and guide him through the paddock. I don't see anyone that I know which is strange. Normaly I would bump into at least one or two of the driver's. I give Mason a look while we walk towards Haas. His face is mostly covered with the mask and sunglasses. The last bit covers the shadow of his cap. He doesn't want to be spotted too much. It should be a retreat today and not a public appearance for him. I greet a few people at garage with a huge smile while holding on to Masons hand. He stays closely to me. "Mick" I tip on the blondes shoulder. When my best friend turns around his blue eyes sparkle as always. Since France we facetimed daily. It's just like we needed this experience of me working in his environment again so we could connect on an even deeper level. When I look at him I see my brother now. Suddenly the nervousness overcomes me. Its important these two get along well. "Hello Anna" he smiles politely and gives me a short hug before turning towards Mason. "Hey men. Cool you could make it." "Sure mate. Thanks for the invite." They shake hands. I lean against a near wall and watch them get to know each other better. My eyes lay on the two most important men in my life. They talk and talk while I look around. It's busy like always. Outside the garage I see a cameracrew with a moderator. They film right into the garage while talking. It's my old employer: Sky. I smile at the memories this experience brought with me. I didn't know a thing about cars or racing before I started the internship. But know this is so normal and part of my world. It brought so many good things with it. I would love to start actually work around formula one, but the connection with Mick would be a problem. But it's fine. He is my priority. I step behind Mason and hug him. This is not only how I block the cameras from catching him and his attention but also of getting closer to him again. The feeling I missed during the euros. My head rests on his back while his hands lay on mine on his stomach. I feel the vibration under me when he is talking. With my eyes closed I listen. "Anna?" "Hm?" I look over Masons shoulder to Mick who chuckles at me. I don't know what he is thinking but I know he is absolutely fine with whatever it's going on. "I just told Mason how we first met. But I can't remember which track it was" "Ehm.. Belgium wasn't it?" I reply. It's a special track. Not only dangerous as fuck but also the first time I did an interview on my own and the first time Mick and I connected. "Ohh yes" he remembers and laughs. An engineer comes up to him and whispers something in his ear. Mick nods and his face changes. He is in driversmode. "Sorry guys F3 is about to start soon. I need to go. Have fun. And lovely to meet you Mate" he says. I know my place for this kind of moment. Normally it would be outside somewhere till the session would start then it would be at the back of the garage watching every move Mick makes on the huge screen. But today it's different. I will not take Mason where are plenty of eyes are. "Bye dude. Good luck" Mason smiles and was ready to go. I pull Mick in a hug. "Good luck champ." I also press a kiss on his cheek. He smiles and rubes my back before he disappears in the back of the garage. With Mason close to me I walk into the facility. It's time for some food.
"We should go over to Mclaren shouldn't we?" Mason smiles down at me. All nerves in my body start to panic. This is a horrible idea. I didn't even liked the fact that Lando was at the Euros final and now they both would actually meet. This would be very awkward."Mase, I don't know if that is such a good idea. You know with the history of me and Lando. It could be awkward." He looks up from his phone. I can't see his expressions very well under his mask but I reckon he is a little surprised by my reaction. "Oh don't you worry it will be alright. We are adults you know and actually I would like to meet him. And Daniel also. I thought you would be pleased to see them again." "Don't get me wrong I like to see my friend again but I am still a bit concerned about Lando." Frustrated and uncomfortable about this situation I look around avoiding his eyes. The F3 was already over. And we had around an hour till preps for Quali would start. My stomach is full with the amazing Mac and cheese of the Haas cooks. I run with my hand through my hair and bite my lip under the mask. "If you don't want to say 'Hi' we won't have to. Your call Anna" He is calm and completely confident. I am glad he leaves this kind of decisions to me. It is the environment I am most comfortable in and he is just the guest. When it is a football environment obviously he is in the lead. But it would be a shame not to see Daniel and maybe Lando is busy today and I will just see him tomorrow at the raceday without Mason. "Alright then", I take his hand and guide him away from the Haas Garage towards the McLaren one. It's their homerace this weekend and they did quiet well in the free practice yesterday so the spirits are high. I can hear Daniel already laugh when we approach the garage. "It's Daniel" I whisper to Mason with a grin on my face. "He seems in a good mood." We are in front of the Mclarens now not allowed to go in further without any formel invatation. "He always is. DANIEL" I shout out. Mason next to me flinches and covers his ears fast with his hands. "Goodness me Anna.." I just laugh and take off my mask. "Shooorty" I hear the heavy Australien accent. The curly head comes our way after noticing me. And with him a camera guy. I reckon they just filming a bit for their unboxed stuff. If Mason doesn't want it he will say something. But he stays silent next to me. As soon as I saw the camera it was clear I need to step back and let Mason be in the front. But this doesn't stop me from wrapping around my arms around that dude. "Good to see you Dani" "Men I missed you. Feels like ages." "I know." I pull back from him. "Daniel this is Mason. Mason, Daniel Ricciardo." I introduce them both to each other and step back. They fistbump each other and doing a little talk. As polite as Daniel is he says his sorries about the final and that. But overall they really do have a nice conversation while I stand in the background watching them. I get more and more nervous while we are at the Orange teams home. I feel like every moment Lando could come around the corner and I am not sure I am ready. "Alright thank you guys."I hear the guy with the camera while he gives them both a fistpumb. Finally he wrapped up. But he know facing me." Sorry Anna. Is it alright for you if we use some of the footage with you? I noticed you weren't fully comfortable. " He seems really sweet and caring but the fact that he actually knows my name creeps me out a bit. "No that's alright. Ehm just make sure I look fine will you?" I mumble. He nods "Of course" "But thank you for asking" I know it's not normal but I am very happy he did. This guy does his job good and I am not gonna make it harder for him or anyone else by saying they can't use good footage. He waves a goodbye and makes his way. "What was that about?" Mason pulls me close to him while his arm is around my waist. "Nothing, he just asked if he could use the footage with me on it. And I said sure." "You did?" Daniel seems honestly surprised. "Yeah of course dude. There are so many pictures and videos where I look like a fucking idiot so I hope this will be a bit nicer." I lean my head against Masons chest and relax for a bit. This attention is still a bit too much for me but I will get used to it. With the rub of his hand against my waist its less stressful." Oh look who is there"Daniel speaks out. I can just imagine who it is and I close my eyes. Fuck." Hello mate" Daniel smiles but also gives me a nervous look that I return immediately. "Hello everyone" I hear the so familiar voice. Oh damn.. here we go.
When I turn to left Lando stands there with quiet a bit of distance. He seems all smiley and that but I noticed his glance at Masons hand on my body right away. I wish I would've kept the mask on to hide my emotions under it that. "Hi Lando how are you?" I finally say not really looking at him. It still feels weird. I want to move further but he wasn't ready. I respect it. But I don't know how to handle. "Yeah alright, how are you?" he responses. His voice is so plain without any emotions it's actually confusing. It makes me sad. I hoped things would be different. So I lie "Good thanks. I would like you to meet Mason. Mason this is Lando Norris my.. " I stock not knowing what to say. A little panic overcomes my body. This is fucking awkward. "Her friend from back in the days. Pleasure to meet you mate." He jumps to my rescue. Thankful I smile at him and mouth a thank you to him, which he ignores completely. While the two greet each other my eyes wander to Daniel, who is loving this situation right now and how much I struggle. He has the biggest smile ever on his face and needs to hold back his laughter. Our eyes meet and I signal him that I will kill him. This is the point where he can't hold back and laughs out loud. "So sorry guys I need to go" He winks at me and turns around. My jaw drops to the floor. No he just didn't leave me alone with these two. This is awful. The urge to run after Daniel overcomes my body but the shit thing about being an adult is to deal with stuff like this. "I heard about the incident at the final. So sorry about that. Are you alright?" This was something that laid on my chest heavily since that day. We were not in the right space for me to text him about such a sensible thing. But when I read it online and saw the statement I felt very sorry for him. He doesn't deserve this. He is too precious to get robbed. "Yeah well it wasn't nice, but I mean I wasn't harmed. It's just a watch" Lando tries to laugh it off. Him and Mason are going over to more chilled topics. They laugh a lot and joke around. Actually they really get along with each other. But I couldn't think about a person who wouldn't get along with Mason. The awkwardness slowly crawls away from the situation. But I figured it would be best to stay quiet as much as possible just to not provoke anything. Masons hand is still resting on my hip when one of the F1 Media team approaches. He takes photo of us. "Do you want that they take pictures?" I reach up to his ears to whisper in them. "No it's fine" Mason smiles back down. I nod and relax again. It's fine. When I look back at Lando he bits his lips and rushs through his curls. "Sorry I will grab some water real quick" I excuse myself and leave these two to their own. Its for the better I believe. Walking down the paddock I stop at the ferrari. "Bonjour" Charlotte spins around with her phone still on her ear, noticing my voice. A little smile is on her voice when she winks at me and keeps on saying stuff in French on the phone. I don't understand a word. It's way to fast and besides that I was crap in French back at school. She quickly raps up whatever she is doing. "Bonjour" she presses the button to hang up and closes me into a hug. "Lovely to see you again." "Likewise. How are things?" "Should we do a little walk? Charles is in a meeting anyway." "I am just on my way to grab a drink." "Oh do you want a water, I will grab one real quick from the facility?" "No thanks" I chuckle "It's more of an excuse to stay away for a bit."Her face expressions tell me she had no clue what I was talking about."Lando and Mason are talking right now and I felt weird so I needed an excuse. She nods and starts walking" Then let's have a little walk. I think the water at Redbull is the best anyway." The Bulls facility was the furthest down the paddock and this was our destination we going for. We are catching up on topics while enjoying the walk in the sun. Arriving at the garage I get greeted warmly by a few members of the team. They recognize me from the last time I was at a race and jumped in as a replacement for Max's media Manger. Speaking of the devil, Max walks out of his driver room. He looks busy but not too busy so he could say a little hello to us girls. "Are you coming here to apply full-time?" he winks. I show him my tongue and laugh. But inside of me I want to say yes. A serious yes. The French grand prix showed me that this environment in a professional way is perfect for me. I love the smell of the air, the sounds, the atmosphere. But I am not in the place to decide. And that's fine for now. First I will get my masters and then let's see. "Can I have a bottle of water please?" I ask him with puppy eyes instead. He looks at me confused. "She hides from Mason and Lando." Charlotte says. "I am not hiding. I just get out of the way when they get to know each other." Max's nods at my explanation. He grabs a bottle from a shelf and holds it in front of me. I smile at him thankfully.
Mason didn't even noticed that I was gone fully twenty minutes just to get water. Them both were just saying their goodbyes when I arrived back. "There you are" Mason grabs my wrist and places a kiss on my lips. I am surprised but smile a little into the kiss. When he pulls away I know what he just did. Mason didn't just showed Lando that it was serious between us but also showed me that he is the guy that I choose. I don't appreciate that move and pull him away from me. When I open my eyes I can see Lando still standing there in the corner of my eyes. He seems pale and stares back at me. My heart sinks. He is so vulnerable and my present is making it worse and worse. I give Mason a slap on his chest and give him an angry look. After that my eyes wander back to Lando but he is avoiding me know. "I must go." he mumbles and walks of. "Good luck Lando" I whisper. "Really?" Mason stares down at me. "He can't hear you" I roll my eyes. "I am trying to be nice. Why did you kiss me in front of him?" "Because we kiss all the time and we are dating?" "Don't lie. You can't do that in front of his eyes, when he is clearly still.." I stop. "In love with you? Is that what you mean?" Mason is on fire. He is pissed. "No" I mumble frustrated and rush through my hair looking around to find someone who could rescue me, but there is noone but Lando, who looks at us from a safe distance. He watches us arguing, his face is like a empty wall. All of his smiles and laughter is wiped away. Our eyes lock until he turns around and disappears in the garage. "I mean I don't know." "Oh come on" he laughs out sarcasticly. "Get your shit together Anna. Let's focus on us, our happiness. We shouldn't care what others think about us." I stand still staring at the point where Lando was just a few moments ago. I made my choice. "You right" I whisper and give in. He takes my hand and places a kiss on the palm. "Us two against the world" I nod and force a smile on my face. Is this the wrong choice I made?
The next day
Freedom. It's the first thing that comes to my mind when I step into the paddock on my own on this raceday. It's a comfortable feeling. A feeling that I haven't witnessed yesterday. I was so pumped with nervousness being around Mason trying to show him everything making him like this place I didn't enjoyed my time here at all. After Quali we hang around in the paddock for a little while before he wanted to head back to the hotel. It was a early night for us and the feeling that he didn't enjoyed being here with me made me sad. But it is good to actually have time on my own here before we head in vacation somewhere hot. "Good morning Anna" Christian Horner walks past me and nods. I nod back "Morning. Good luck today" He gives me a thumbs up and goes his way. I love how everyone just has a purpose here. "Hi" Mick appears next to me. I let out a releaf sight. "Hey" I sink against his chest. He seems surprised but immediately closes his arms around me shielding myself from the surroundings. "You alright?" worry swings in his voice when he lays his chin on top of my head. "I don't know" it was honest at least. "Trouble in paradise?" "What if made the wrong decision?" I mumble. "Did he do something?" "No. It's just" I pause trying to find the right words. "We are so different. Our lifes are so different." Mick stays silence. When I lift my shoulders and look up to I see him just staring into the air. He puts a warm smile on and looks at me. "Different is sometimes good. This is how you grow." "Wise words. Good morning you two." Sebastian appears next to us. He smiles but a hinch of worry is in his eyes. "Can I speak to you, Anna?" "Sure" I nod and pull away from Mick to follow Seb to the side of the paddock where not many people can see us. "Are you OK?" he asks. "Yeah?" I am highly confused not knowing where this is going. "Okay. If not please talk to someone. I am here. Mick is. You seem to be good with Max and Daniel as well. Just please talk." "Why are you asking?" He looks at me for a moment before answering. "I haven't seen you smiling or laughing in a while. You are not as bubbly as normally. You are too young to be so serious. I am just worried." He leans against the wall with his head rested against it. His eyes are soft. He kept an eye on me the whole time. Even if I didn't know or we just have a quick shit chat he always has an eye on me just like he has an eye on Mick. He is watching out for me. A slight smile appears on my lips at the realization I just got. I am actually touched and speechless. "Thank you" is all I can say. He nods at me and gives me a second till I fought back the tears in my eyes. In silence we walk through the paddock. Past Mercedes and Lewis Hamilton who signs caps. Past Ferrari and the ongoing pitstop practice. Past Mclaren and the loud music coming out of the garage. All the way to Haas where we end up. He pulls me into a hug. "We're family, you know. German blood" I chuckle at his comment and watch him walk back to Aston Martin. It was a while since someone brought up the country of birth of my mother. I smile at the memory. In the garage were already hectic and plenty of chatting going on so I decided to grab breakfast first at the facility. On the big screen I could watch the driver's parade a little later when I just bite into the apple. After that I take my place in garage to watch the race. And what a race it was. I flinched hardly when I saw Max going into that wall. What the fuck was that. After that I couldn't stay focused I was lost in my thoughts. Max was getting checked in the hospital but I was thinking about the danger of this sport. I am just glad when Mick jumps out of the car unarmed. It's a relief to say the least.
"Lando", I do a little sprint to catch up with him and Charlotte. They are walking down the pit lane in a fast motion back to the garage after the interviews. He looks at me from the side with his straw in his mouth. "Whats up?" I see a little sparkle in his eyes and a small tired smile. He was a beast out there today and he definitely did an amazing job. "Congrats, what a great race!" I smile out while walking beside him. This felt very natural. And I get a tiny glimpse of what could've been. "Thanks, did you enjoyed it?" He is as polite as ever. I can't figure out if he really wants to talk to me or just wants me to fuck off and leave him alone. But I am not that kind of a woman. I will not leave bad things bad, I am here to fix them. "I wander if you have time for a little chat?" I say out confidently with my heartbeat fastening up. There is no answer of him while we walk further. I already expect a negative answer when Charlotte is tired of the silence and tension and starts talking. "Sorry Anna, we have a few more press things to handle and we need to go to the fanstage as well. So right now is not a good time." "If you wait at the exit in 2 hours I could come there." "More like in 3", Charlotte smiles at me with whispering a 'sorry'. We arrive at the garage. "I will be there" I give him the promise. I smile at the back of him disappeating inside the garage without another smile, look or word. I just think he is as nervous as I am.
It's getting cold at Silverstone and my mood for the hot sun in Greece even bigger. I can't wait to board this flight tomorrow and spend beautiful 10 days with Mason and his mates. But before that I need to survive this conversation with Lando. I tighten the jacket around my body a bit more to keep the warmth. It actually got cold without the sun even if it's in the middle of the English summer. "Sorry for keeping you wait" A look at my clock tells me it's a quarter to midnight. Lando runs with his hands through his hair he looks rushed. "There was some stuff to do and fans and I went to the wrong exit and there were some fans again." I smile at his explanation. He looks cute. "No worries. Made some fans happy?" He nods and shows me his tiny teeth in a smile "Yeah, actually one gave me a painting. Look at that." He unfolds a paper in his hands. It is a drawing of himself in his racesuit holding up a trophy with a slogan "World Champion 2022". I can see the pride in his eyes when he looks at the picture. "It's gorgeous." I whisper. "Yeah.. I hope I will not disappoint that girl." His smiles changes worry overcomes his face now. "You will not." my hand now lays on his. Quickly I pull it back, this was not right. Lando clears his throat and folds the picture again. "Should we have a little walk?" he ignores my touch and heads towards the car park. His car is probably there but I need to take a cab later on to head to the hotel close to the airport, where I stayed with Mason. I nod an walk aside him. The tension is definitely there."Mason seems nice" he says. "About that Lando.. I am sorry. I hoped you wouldn't bumped into each other." He chuckles "Why that?" "Because it's a weird situation no?" my eyebrow is raised while walking further. "So that's what you wanted to say and for that you waited that long?" he stops walking. We are standing next to a McLaren, I reckon its his. I nod confused "It seemed right. I shouldn't put you in this situation and.." " Stop talking", he interupts. Lando's eyes are filled with anger. I step back at that sight. What did I do to upset him that much? "I am sorry for", I try again. "Stop talking", he says again, this time with a louder voice. I listen and stay quiet busy enough to not start crying. This went horribly wrong and I feel hopeless. There is no way to fix it. He throws his stuff in the trunk of the car and comes back to face me. "You have no fucking idea what's going on do you Anna? Not Mason is the bloody problem. He is actually really nice and I don't care what you two doing infront of my bloody eyes. It's you. And only you who is the God damn problem. I don't want to see you or speak to you. I am tired of you trying to be that perfect little girl which I hoped that could be mine one day but actually you just playing. You giving me signs while having a men on your side who is bloody nice. He doesn't deserve you, I don't deserve you. Nobody does actually. I wish we never ever met.",he spits out. With every word my heart breaks apart more. I feel numb, not able to answer to that. Just silent tears are running down my cheeks. I stare at him in disbelief. And his beautiful eyes stare back at me in anger. This is so unlike him. I really hurt him that deeply. Without any more words he gets in his car and drives off into the night leaving me behind. My eyes follow the lights from the car in the distance until it is completely gone. I don't know how long I stand there in the cold darkness when a figure approaches me. "Anna?" it's a slightly annoyed voice. When I turn around I see the Williams driver and actually the only person that I don't want to have here right now. When he sees the state of me his eyes widen and a soft look appears on his face. "What happened to you?" He comes closer and tries to get a better look. I think he is checking if I am hurt in any way but the kind of wound and bruises I got are invisible for his eyes. "Lando", I whisper out. "Shit" he says more to himself then towards me. "Please George can you leave me alone for now?" I swipe across my tired eyes trying to get my shit back together. "Forget it I will not leave you alone in the dark in a carpark in the middle of nowhere. Come here" And then he puts his armes around me. Who would've thought back at Monaco that he would be the one comforting me. I sob into his shirt while he rubs my back. "It's alright. It's gonna be fine" he softly whispers while his hands sliding up and down my back warming me. "I didn't want this to end like this?" I sob into his shirt. "It's not the end Anna. Not if you don't want to." George says. "He made his point pretty clear." Through the tears I look at him. His normally cold eyes are filled with warmth. He really feels for me. "You both deserve better then that" I place my head back on his chest, too tired to argue. I don't know how long we stand like this but I start to shiver. "I will give you a lift. Where do you need to go?" George says noticing my weakness. "It's alright I will get a cab you did more then enough for me." I pull out the hug and want to turn away when he grabs my hand. "Get into my car Anna. I will not leave you here." "Why?" "Because I care about you." "You don't hate me?" He chuckles "How could I? I don't like the fact how you two are handling this whole chaos, but I definitely not hate you. Get in my car now." I follow his command and give him the address of the hotel. He nods and starts the engine. Of we drive into the night. The whole time Landos angry face is present in my head. I hurt him so much that it wiped his smile of his face."Why are you staying at the hotel?" George interrupte the silence. "We are going on holiday tomorrow." "You and Mason? " I nod. He doesn't seem surprised. "Where to?" "Somewhere warm, on a yacht with his friends" For a moment his eyes lay on me and not the street. "Sounds fun" "Yeah" I mumble und lock out of the window. "Can you check on him later and let me know?" I whisper. "I will" "Thank you" I smile at him with a tired smile. The rest of the ride we stay in silence. I am lost in my thoughts and he is focused in the road. When we slow down and finally stop infront of the hotel George speaks up again:"I know its not my place to say. But was Mason the right choice when you are so effected by Landos actions?" I am tired of that thought. But he has a point. "I guess it's too late anyway now" I smile at him sadly. "Thank you for everything George. See you around" I get out of the car without any time for him to answer. Quickly I walk inside to grab my key card and drive upstairs. When I open the door the room is pitch-black. Mason already under the bedsheets. Absolutely reasonable when acknowledging the fact that we need to get up in four hours time. I quickly make my way to the bathroom. Seeing state of me is disgusting. I look like a crackhead. Quickly I remove all that smired makeup,braid my hair and slip into a shirt of Mase. Then I tiptoe back to the bed, connect my phone to the charger. "He is fine" I read the text of George. I try to close my eyes to get some sleep but my mind is somewhere else. Still shocked about the complete different side of him a few tears run down my face again. I feel shit because I cry about a guy and the most amazing guy sleeps peacefully next to me. I hang on to my thoughts until the alarm went off. It's 5 in the morning and I hadn't had a minute of sleep. The sheets next to me shuffle. "Good morning Anna. Ready for the heath ?" His voice is still raspy from just getting woken up. I turn around and put a fake smile on. I feel destroyed in every sense possible. "I am" His lips land on mine to sweeten up my morning but my heart is stone cold not able to feel a thing.
***
Hey Guys, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Since it's Christmas Eve today I thought it's a good idea to give you a long one. Have a Merry Christmas and enjoy the time with friends and family, but don't forget not the ones who are not that fortunate!! Stay safe and healthy!!