I am stressing.
What do people even wear to hang out at a friend's house? I clearly have very little experience with this.
When Blake called to invite me, I was very close to declining all together. I didn't want to leave mom with the boys after a long day, but she was persistent on me going.
Her words exactly were, "It's about time you had a social life."
Now I am sitting on my bed, staring at my closet. Is the dress code like comfy?
Decision made, I will text Fallon and Aaliyah. We have a little group chat which I used to rarely respond to, but they were adamant on me texting back.
Me: Anything specific I should wear tonight?
Fallon: OMG! You decided to come?
Me: Felt bad for not going bowling earlier.
Aaliyah: Mhm, or you just want to see Blake.
Fallon: I knew you two had a thing for each other!!!
Does everyone on planet Earth assume me and Blake are together?
Me: We don't have a thing for each other. Now can you please answer my question?
Fallon: We're all dressing pretty casual and comfy.
Aaliyah: I'm literally wearing pajamas.
That makes me smile. Aaliyah seems to always not give a fuck about anything, and I admire that.
Me: Ok, see you soon.
Digging through what little clothes I have, I find some simple gray sweatpants. God I love being comfy. I pair it with a navy blue tee that has some white lettering embedded on it. No clue where this is from, but it'll work.
I throw my curls into a simple messy bun and put on a couple coats of mascara, throwing on a simple clear gloss.
Now that I'm ready, I have about 20 more minutes before mom gets here. No clue when Blake will be here to pick me up.
That only leaves me with one thing to do. Taylor Swift.
I put on Speak Now, my personal favorite album, and jam the hell out. My bedroom is my safe space to dance and sing my heart out.
While I'm doing probably some awkward dance move, there's a knock on my bedroom door.
When I turn, there's Blake and Emerson standing there.
Emerson is staring at me trying to contain his laughter very badly. I want to hit him in the head right then and there.
Blake is a whole different story. He's standing there with the biggest smirk on his face I think I've ever seen.
He's eyeing me up and down, making my face heat up.
"Sorry, he was knocking so I let him in." Emerson finally says. I go to press pause on the music.
"Couldn't have just told me to get the door?" I roll my eyes.
"No, because then we wouldn't have gotten to see you doing whatever it was you were doing." He sticks his tongue out at me.
Pushing him back to the garage, AKA his room, I turn back to Blake.
"My mom's not home yet." I can feel the blush rushing to my cheeks. He just witnessed my jam sesh.
Blake, still with a smirk, says "I don't mind waiting. And by all means keep dancing."
I give him a slight push on the shoulder. What do I do now? Bring him to the living room? Offer him a drink? This is a small house, my options are limited.
"Sorry I'm not the best at having people over. Do you want some like, water?"
He laughs. "I'm ok. And what is that supposed to mean?"
"What is what supposed to mean?"
"You not being the best at having people over?" He narrows his eyes.
"It's kind of embarrassing." I state. "More embarrassing than your dance party?"
"Good point. I just haven't hung out with anyone since middle school." I respond truthfully.
Blake's mouth drops a little, leaving me regretting everything I just said. "Forget I told you that."
"No way. Now I have to make sure that this is a good hang out."
God, this man has a way with words.
Just when I'm about to respond, I hear mom's voice calling out from the front door. "Home!" She yells out.
Woah woah woah. Do I like sneak Blake out? Walk out with him? There should be lessons for this.
"Is that your mom?" He asks. With a nod of my head, I guide us out to the living room.
Mom is standing over the kitchen table digging through her purse. Once she finds what she needs, she turns back to me. And Blake.
She looks at me with a raised eyebrow. Maybe I should've just snuck him out.
"Hi Ms.Martinez, I'm Blake." He sticks out a hand for her to shake. Mom's eyes go wide at his apparent manners.
"Nice to meet you, and please call me Andrea. Are you a friend of Dahlia?" She smiles.
They seem to be getting along. "Yes, I'm taking her to Fallon's house if that's okay." He nods.
Mom looks at me and gives a timid thumbs up for only me to see. "We're gonna go. Did you need help with anything?" I say.
"No, you go enjoy a night out. I'll leave a key under the mat." She responds.
Pulling Blake's arm, I go to the front door. "Text you when I'm on my way back." I remind.
"Nice to meet you Andrea!" Blake gives his usual charming tone. Mom is totally swooning over it.
I open the door and push Blake out. "Your mom seems nice." He turns to me.
"Let's just go."
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Sitting in the car, I play the playlist I made of Taylor Swift for Dahlia. She's a little flushed from earlier, but I find it cute.
Walking in on her totally in her element sent me into fucking heaven. I want to see that smile on her face daily. I want to make her smile like that.
And god, hearing she hasn't hung out with people since middle school? That's 4 whole years.
But that also must mean no boyfriends. Does this make me feel ecstatic? Yes.
I'm making this the greatest day for her. I turn up the volume to the song that's playing. Dahlia is humming, but facing the window.
I start singing the song completely wrong, screaming at the top of my lungs. This gets her to turn to me.
"There's a haze mysterious ways! Dear I've Known you 20 years or 20 seconds!" I sing song.
She's clearly fighting back a laugh. I see that smile creeping up.
"Can I blow, where you go!" I continue. "Let's always stay close!"
She finally lets out a laugh, clutching onto her stomach. "That was terrible!" She yells over the music.
I widen my eyes in fake shock. "I thought I did pretty well if I do say so myself."
She's still laughing, occasionally taking deep breaths for air.
Now we're singing together. I'm still totally off on the lyrics, but it's a good moment just the two of us.
Dahlia from day one has had this aura about her that drew me in immediately. The first class we had together is one I will forever remember, because it gave me the chance to know her. Day by day she is slowly allowing me to know her, compliment her, and give her all the attention she deserves. Sure, she's still reserved, but baby steps right? All I care about is the acceptance she has towards letting me in, and I've gotten this far, right?
When I pull into Fallon's house, Dahlia almost looks astonished. Her eyes are wide, breath catches, and her laughs have stopped. "Are you ok?" I ask.
She comes out of whatever daze she was in. "She has a really nice house."
Understandable. Elijah, Logan, Aaliyah, Fallon and I have lived in this neighborhood for a long time, it's how we became friends. The houses here are totally huge and mansiony.
I'll admit, when I first dropped Dahlia off, I had never been in her neighborhood. But I don't think it was anything to be ashamed of. The houses were small and comforting and homey. In no way should she feel bad about where she lives.
Brushing some hair away from her face to give me a better view, I lean in just an inch or two away from her face.
"You're perfect you know?"
She turns to me clearly surprised. Her face does its normal blush. "We should go inside." She says.
So close, yet so far.
I open my door and run to the other side to open hers. I help her out of the car before shutting the door and locking it.
Have I mentioned how much I love comfy on Dahlia? She is absolutely mesmerizing no matter what. That is what I have come to realize.
I'm carrying the grocery bags of snacks in my hands, preparing to be ambushed for them as soon as the door opens.
Dahlia rings the doorbell, and we hear the instrumental sound from inside.
"I've always wanted to hear one of those!" She beams. Dahlia also has an enjoyment for little things, something I love about her.
A few seconds later, Fallon is opening the door. "I'm so happy you came!" She pulls Dahlia into a big hug. Logan comes following Fallon and snatches the bags from my hand, running off.
I give him a glare, but Fallon motions for us to come in before I can do anything. We both take off our shoes, leaving them at the front.
"Welcome to my house! That was for Dahlia, not you Blake." She clarifies. Dahlia gives a little laugh, and we walk to the movie room where Aaliyah, Elijah, and Logan are already sitting eating the snacks.
Logan and Aaliyah are cuddled up on one of the sofas, and Elijah, from the looks of it, is waiting for Fallon to come sit next to him.
I pull Dahlia with me to one of the empty couches towards the left of the room. She's gotten used to me pulling her wherever I go at this point.
Once we're sitting, I press the button to recline the seats. I put my arms under my head in a very beach style way, making Dahlia laugh.
"Pass the popcorn please." I graciously ask. Logan hands me the bowl, and I take a big handful. Tilting the bowl towards Dahl I ask her if she wants any.
She eyes the bowl for a hot second. I'm becoming suspicious of this. Every moment we're eating, she's in some battle. Always staring at it like it's the hardest decision.
"No thank you." She answers. And it's always no. The answer is most always no. I don't like it.
When I'm about to say something, Fallon interrupts to say she's starting the movie. We decided earlier on Sinister. Well, I decided.
And yes, this was all in hopes Dahlia would come and she would react with jumping into my arms to shield herself.
A cliche, but hopeful plan.
When the movie starts, Dahlia takes notice of the scary vibe. "I'm not cuddling you every time something scary happens if that's what you were hoping for." She whispers.
I sigh. Maybe I'll just have to jump into her arms at this point.
Around 30 minutes into the movie, candy is being passed around. No sign of a scared Dahlia yet. Meanwhile Aaliyah is totally on Logan, and even Fallon is somewhat hiding into Elijah.
In case you were wondering, we convinced her to turn down that date. Imagine how happy Elijah was.
A bag of sour patch is passed to us, and I take yet another handful. I hand the bag to Dahlia, hoping she accepts this.
She eyes the bag with wide eyes. Don't confirm my suspicions Dahlia.
And after a good 30 seconds, she takes a couple out of the bag and eats them. I'm not totally convinced yet, but I'm happy she ate some.
We've been watching this movie for what feels like ages now. I'm losing all hope of any contact with her.
"C'mon, at least pretend to be scared and jump into my arms." I whisper in her ear. In response, she slaps my arm. But she does respect my wishes, and leans her head onto my shoulder.
I think she is meant to be there.
There's only 15 minutes left of this. Pretty sure I could fall asleep with how good she feels next to me.
When one of the final jump scares happens, Dahlia jumps and covers her eyes. Can I mention that she also is on my chest? Cliche plans always work.
I lock her there with my arms, savoring this moment as best I can. She clearly notices her mistake, and tries squirming out of my arms. "Not cool!" She whispers against me.
"I did not sit through 2 hours of this for you to not jump into my arms. Stay put for 10 more minutes, yeah?" I respond.
She merely looks up from where her head was on my chest, our faces are so close.
It's too early to kiss her. It's too early to kiss her.
"LOVE BIRDS!" The other 4 say synchronously. "Can't disagree." I shrug.
Dahlia uses this moment to get out of my arms and roll her eyes. We're all laughing, as she is clearly the only one who disagrees with that statement.
The credits start rolling, leaving all of us to talk.
I'm still recovering from having Dahlia laid against me. I need a minute to process.
We go from talking about topics such as grades, to dates, to favorite movies, and lastly, to personal lives.
There's this game we like to play, where we all ask each other questions and you have to answer. Like truth or truth, except not if that makes sense.
It's not really a game, just a way we all got to know each other. I'm excited to use this to my advantage.
"Something Aaliyah does you don't like Logan." Elijah starts. Aaliyah gives him a death glare. "That. That glare right there." We all laugh and move from question to question.
"Feelings towards Southview so far?" Fallon asks Dahlia. She shrugs. "It's fine. I'm glad I've met you all."
We all awe at her response, and she pushes us to move on. "If you could kiss anyone in here, who would it be?" I ask Fallon.
This is for you Elijah. He smiles at me, a small nod along with it. "Uh, pass?"
"NOPE! No passes." I say. She bites her lip, looking everywhere but at us. "You two are in a relationship," she points to Aaliyah and Logan, "you two are practically in love," she looks at Dahlia and I, "So Elijah."
We could've gotten there a whole lot faster, but I appreciate the comment about Dahlia and I.
Elijah and Fallon look at each other. C'mon, don't let my plan go to waste.
"Feel the same way." He finally responds. The rest of us 'oo' and 'ah' for the new feelings being admitted. I look over at Dahlia, who is just smiling.
"What's on your mind." I ask her. "I'm happy for them." She replies.
"We're next." I want to say, but hold back.
"Dahlia, what do your parents do for work?" Elijah asks. He's always asked the simple questions.
"My mom just works in an office." She fidgets with her fingers. "And your dad?" He continues.
She almost winces, and I immediately want to hug her. "Wouldn't know." She simply says.
"Like, he hasn't told you?" I ask. She takes a deep breath. "Don't have a dad."
So not a simple question.
"Did he pass?" Aaliyah asks carefully. I give her a look, because it's rule number one in the rules of life not to overstep boundaries. "No, he left when I was 8." She looks down at her criss crossed feet.
We're all silent for a bit. I don't know what to do. How could anyone leave such a perfect person. I couldn't imagine it. And it makes sense now. Why she's always so busy. The cars that are never in the driveway. Always offering help. Because she is basically a parent. She watches her brothers every moment she needs to. Cooks for them, helps them with homework, she's grown up faster than the rest of us have.
The math she's always doing, it's bills or payments, it has to be. There are dollar signs everyone on those pages, labels with grocery, house, electricity, etc.
Dahlia is a hell of a lot stronger than all of us combined. And I can't put into words how that makes me feel.
"Don't make it awkward." She tries to laugh. "Right. Um, Logan, favorite school memory?" Aaliyah breaks the silence.
And just like that, we're back to the truth game. I don't let Dahlia's confession slip my mind. She's quiet the rest of the night, only talking when someone asks her a question.
I tried to ask her how she felt toward me. She said in a one word response, "Fine."
I let it pass this one time, but I'm not done breaking down the walls she's built up.
I'm only just starting.
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An extremely long chapter! It was interesting to write this, I won't lie. Missing father figures can be sensitive to many, so don't worry this topic is not done being discussed!
If you have been abandoned by a parental figure, I understand. I'm still not over the missing father figure in my life, so please reach out if you need to talk.
Hope all is well!
(Also any Taylor fans out there. Please tell me.)