I shot up in my bed, panting. My shirt was sticking to my chest and I could feel the sheets were damp beneath my legs. I sat upright and pulled my hair up with a tie to keep it from sticking to my face. My eyes were drawn to the dim light coming from my bracelet. I turned my wrist over, staring at the rock as it glowed.
Paul was thinking of me. But why would he be thinking of me at this odd hour of the night? He should have been asleep. It wasn't odd though, I told myself. Paul was always thinking of me.
I looked down at my stomach and tried to process what I just saw. How would that even be possible? I took my hormone regulators just like every other person in this palace. Our healers made no mistakes, I knew it was not possible for their prescribed medication to fail me. Then how?
I glanced over at my side to see Feyd, still fast asleep. A sense of disgust and shame washed over me. How could I be sleeping in another man's bed, my husband-to-be, while there is a chance I am pregnant with another man's child?
No, I told myself quickly. There is no chance. Not at all. It would be impossible for this to happen, at least not under the guidance of Dr. Yueh. I trusted that the healer for House Harkonnen was just as skilled. There was no chance of me being pregnant. Dreams are dreams, nothing more and nothing less.
I looked down to see my bracelet pulsing again. Paul was clearly trying to make himself known. Could he know? No, he would have said something yesterday.
I laid back down on my wet and sweaty side of the bed. My eyes traced the patterns on the ceiling, trying to keep myself calm. Okay. I had a dream that I was pregnant. So what? It was a dream.
But what if it was real?
No, it's not. A dream doesn't mean anything. I probably was thinking of Paul because I got to see him all yesterday. Yeah, that's why.
The night went by slowly. I tried to go back to bed but sleep didn't come. Instead, I faked being asleep when I felt Feyd wake up in the morning. I could hear him moving around while he got ready, trying not to wake me. I remained still when he leaned over to kiss me on the cheek.
"I'll make things right for us." He whispered, almost inaudibly. I wasn't sure what that meant, but I heard his footsteps exiting the room. I almost wondered if he knew I was awake.
My day passed as normal, but it certainly didn't feel it. I didn't dare to go read in his waiting room, I wouldn't allow myself to use or touch his things. I didn't deserve that.
I told Yuma I was sick so she wouldn't worry about me being alone in my room all day. It felt as though I'd been awake for two days straight, but my body wouldn't let me sleep. I felt exhausted and wanted to rest my body but my mind was having a field day. Paul. Feyd. Marriage. Possibly pregnant.
So what if I was pregnant? I wondered. How would I even explain that to Feyd? To Paul? Would Feyd still agree to marry me if I was pregnant with an Atreides heir?
I'm not pregnant though, I convinced myself. If I was pregnant then surely one of our doctors would know by now. I would know by now, I'd see the signs and symptoms and right now there were none.
I pushed the thoughts aside. For now I needed sleep. What was the point of worrying over something that was neither true or within my control?
I looked out the window, surprised by the darkness. I hadn't realized that time flew by so quickly it was now nighttime. Where was Feyd? By now he usually would be reading with me in his waiting chamber. He was likely somewhere in the palace, maybe even looking for me in all of the usual spots.
I inhaled a deep breath and told myself to sleep. I needed it. Whatever was meant to happen will happen and I had to let things run their course. I thought back to the many breathing exercises Lady Jessica would have Paul and I practice growing up. I imagined her voice telling me to collect my running thoughts and place them in a box. Paul. Feyd. Baby. I envisioned myself placing them all inside this cardboard box and closing it.
My box of thoughts dissolved into my body, starting from my chest and all the way down to my finger tips and toes. With every exhale I released my anxieties and sunk deeper into my inner peace-
"Ophelia!"
My eyes shot open a the sound of Yuma's hushed voice. She came through my door and closed it behind her. I sat up straight in my bed.
She was breathing heavily, panting and rested her back against the door. "I-I am so sorry to wake you like this, I mean no disrespect-"
"Yuma." I sent her a pointed look. "What happened?"
She shook her head and he expression crumbled as if it were in pain. "It's... They are planning to attack Arrakeen and overthrow the Duke Leto."
It took me a moment to process her words. "Arrakeen... Where did you hear this?
"Guards." She replied. "Several of them, all speaking together. They're headed to Arrakis for war."
"Arrakis?" I repeated and shook my head. "N-no, that can't be right. Feyd promised me-"
She shook her head and let out a piercing wail. "I don't know what the Na-Baron promised you, but they have soldiers on their way to Arrakis as we speak. I am certain. I had to be sure of it before I let you know. My people, Miss-"
I was out of bed before Yuma could finish speaking. I was half dressed, not in any state to walk through the halls of the palace but I didn't care. I had to find Feyd. He was the only one that could stop it.
I turned corners, hearing Yuma's rushed strides as she followed closely behind me. I spotted one of the many guards that armed the palace. "You!"
He turned his head and I could tell he was trying to hide his surprise at my appearance. "Miss Ophelia-"
"Where is Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen?" I demanded.
He straightened. "I cannot share that information with you, Miss."
"You're going to tell me where Feyd-Rautha is, right now!" I raised my voice. I could feel my palms shaking in both fear and adrenaline. What did this mean for my family? For Paul? Would they be safe? Are they safe right now?
He shook his head and I could see his expression hardening. "I've already told you, Miss. I cannot-"
"Where is Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen!" I screamed at him, but my voice took on a tone I had never heard from myself before. It took me only a moment to recover from my odd shift of voice, I expected the guard to respond with just as much strength but to my surprise he didn't.
"The Na-Baron is in on the tarmac preparing to depart for Arrakis." The guard answered in compliance, his previous tone shifting to one without emotion.
I exchanged looks with Yuma before darting in the direction of the aircrafts, not bothering to haar what the guard had to say next.
I was surprised by the alarming number of soldiers that filled the runway. My heart race picked up as I realized all of the men were dressed the same. How would I find Feyd like this?
But then I saw him just as quick as the thought came. I noticed him at the same time he noticed me and I could see the hard and stern expression he held just moments before melt into one of both warmth and conflict.
I watched him compose himself from afar before marching in my direction. He didn't have to, though, because I found myself sprinting toward him.
"Feyd!" I yelled at him in a panic. He held his arms out to catch me and I could feel my emotions resurfacing at his touch.
"What's going on?" I asked frantically as I looked around to see the hundreds of soldiers boarding different aircrafts.
He shushed me, rubbing my arm in comfort at the sight of my fear. "Ophelia, it's okay. I'm here."
I tried to focus on my breathing and forced myself to relax. "Feyd, please, what is going on here? Why are you going to Arrakis?"
His worried expression sunk into what I would almost describe as maybe shame? He looked away, not answering.
"Feyd," I repeated, my concern growing again. "Why are you going to Arrakis?"
He pursed his lips and turned his head back to meet my eyes. "Ophelia, I can't live in a world where you'd pick him over me."
My heart sank. What was he saying? That he had something to do with this? That he would put my family, the people I love, in the face of death?
I shook my head, unbelieving. "Wait- you told them to start a war with House Atreides?"
His eyes met the floor. "I didn't tell them anything. I simply stopped advising against the inter-house conflict."
I pulled away from him and stared at him. I shook my head. "I... How could you?" I could feel the tears slip down my cheeks. His expression sank at the sight. "I trusted you, Feyd. I promised you marriage in exchange for the safety of my family."
He paused, his expression in conflict. "No, you promised me marriage, period. Why you did doesn't matter. My political views are subject to change, and your promise to marry me means you will support me."
"Who the fuck cares what I said?" I cried. "I don't care what I promised you! That's my family!"
He looked back at me and shot me a look of betrayal. "And I'm your family now, Ophelia."
I shook my head. "No you're not, Feyd!" I cried. "Any chance you had at being my family is gone. You're going to make this right," I pointed my finger at him. "You're going to fix this, You're going to stop this war."
He shook his head sadly. "I can't, Ophelia. But I will fight for you. I promise you that."
And he walked away, leaving me on the runway.
***
thank you all soooo much for your patience! hopefully you enjoyed this chapter :)
also i watched beautiful boy last night and holy crap i cried so much it was so good. would recommend
so where do we think this is gonna go? how do we feel about things so far?
with love,
via <3