Diana
I yawn and move my hand around at the sound of my alarm coming from my phone. When it doesn't automatically come into reach, I open my eyes.
Shit!
I begin getting out hastily from Dante's hold and search for my phone, remembering I had to work today.
When I am finally off the bed, I try to move as quietly as possible, not wanting to wake him. I try to adjust to the weak feeling in my legs as I search for my clothes.
The first thing I spot is my bra dangling on Dante's dresser. Next is my dress and shoes thrown on a chair. I become frustrated after not finding my underwear right away.
"God damnit, where are you?" I whisper-yell and begin walking to the bathroom.
"Under the bed." I hear Dante say groggily and slightly jump.
I turn around, holding my clothes in my hand. He rubs his eyes as I laugh awkwardly, "Thanks."
I get to the floor and lift the sheets in search of my underwear. I breathe a sigh of relief when I find them.
"By the way, your ass looks absolutely beautiful." Dante compliments
He grins and sits up as I glare at him. "We're not having morning sex, Dante." I reply.
He throws his head back in frustration, "Oh come on!"
I laugh at his reaction. "I have to go to work, anyway. My boss will kill me If I'm late."
He sits back up and smiles. I become distracted by that and my eyes trail down his naked, toned chest.
How does one look that good in the morning?
He didn't even try yet he still looked amazing. His dark brown hair was thrown around messily. Grey eyes surrounded by eye boogers and sleep, but still had a spark to them. He literally did wake up like this; it was insane!
Meanwhile, it usually took me at least thirty minutes to fix my hair from the rat nest every time I woke up. And that was on a good day.
"You know you want to." He says and I begin putting my clothes on. I decided I would wear the dress to work and change into my other scrubs I had tucked in my drawer in Edward's office when I arrived.
"Besides, it was the best you've had after all."
I roll my eyes, "It was barely average."
Now if only the pain in my legs and need in my core would stop saying otherwise.
He gets up and stands behind me. He hugs me from behind and snuggles his head in the crook of my neck. I usually hated being touched and especially hugged, but this felt damn good.
"You know it was, Diana." He whispers and presses a kiss to my neck.
"Nope. I've had better."
I am cut off guard when he suddenly starts tickling me after I say this. I begin laughing and try to get away, but he grabs me and picks me up from behind.
Laughing hysterically, I start to kick my legs in the air trying to his old.
"Nope!" He laughs before slamming me on the bed.
He begins to tickle my side, which happened to be my weak spot. My laughter grows louder as he smiles and says, "Say it was the best!"
"I can't hear you, Diana." He continues after I only laugh as a response.
Feeling as if I'm about to pee myself, I scoot away. "It was the best!" I shout through laughter. I managed to get completely out of his hold and stand up. Holding my stomach, I groan, "It was the best sex I've had in my life alright. Geez, now my stomach hurts."
My stomach burns from laughter and he smiles. "Good," He replies and kisses my cheek. "It was the best for me too." He finishes before walking into the bathroom and I smile widely.
I become giddy and happy as I finish getting ready. Dante had probably slept with tons of women with far more practice and attractiveness and he said I was the best he had ever had?
Dante returns from the bathroom with black jeans and a navy blue collar shirt.
"I'll drive you to work, yeah?"
"Okay."
"Awesome. Breakfast will be ready for you when you're done. " He says before leaving the room.
I make my way to the bathroom and begin my morning routine. Some things are limited such as my normal face cleansing routine or my cheap perfumes, but I manage to make it work.
I grow frustrated, not being able to do my makeup and freak out when I realize Dante has seen me without it.
Jogging downstairs, I sit at the table. Biting my nails, I try not to make eye contact as I speak.
"So, as you can see, I am a complete catfish. So um let's not look at each other."
I glance at him and watch as he turns his head slowly from the plate he is preparing. "What?" He asks blankly.
"Well, you haven't seen me without makeup and let's be honest, it's not a pretty sight." I nudge an imaginary shoulder and laugh. "So why don't we like not look at each other, yeah? Save you the disgust and save me the embarrassment."
He doesn't respond, only stares at me with an unreadable expression.
I clap my hands together and smile, "Great! Glad we had that discussion. So did you know the Cookie Monster's real name is Sid?"
"The fuck did you just say?" He asks and begins walking towards me.
"I know it's hard to believe. Val actually had the same reac-"
"Nah, the other thing. Catfish? Not a pretty sight? Disgust? What the hell?"
"Well, you know I just want to-"
He kneels, opens my legs a little and I gasp. "I don't want to hear that kind of stuff come out of your mouth around me again. You're absolutely beautiful, Diana. Make up on or off, it doesn't matter you're insanely gorgeous. Every time you say something like that around me, I'm gonna open these pretty thighs of yours and suck on that gorgeous little pussy of yours until that beautiful mouth of yours is screaming my name. Got it?"
I bite my lip and stare at him as he waits for a response. His hand tightens on my leg. "Don't look at me like that, Diana."
I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer. Moving my lip over his before pulling him in for a kiss. He is surprised at first but kisses me back.
He pulls away, running his thumb over my bottom lip, he says, "We need to stop or you'll be late for work. And I don't need you yelling at me for that or you won't make it to work at all."
Dante stands back up and walks back to the kitchen as I fix myself up.
"Pfft, catfish. And the biggest lie award goes to Diana Ambrose." I hear him mumble and laugh.
Shortly after, he returns with two plates in his hand. He hands one to me and sits down at the table across from me. On the plates are eggs, hash browns, bacon, and a small blueberry muffin on the side with a glass of orange juice. Dante's cooking is amazing as usual and when we are finished, he grabs a few papers from his office. I grab my purse and soon we are in the car.
On the way to my job, Dante tells me Detective Daniel will come by this week for the final analysis. He suggests we pretend to live together and I panic. He notices and says it's only for that day. I decide if it is only for that day I could do it.
Dante also tells me about him wanting to start a daycare. I was more than shocked at this and when he sees my reaction he tells me he's always wanted to do it. Fifteen minutes later, I am still baffled by it.
"Really? I don't know, I'm not saying you couldn't do it. I'm just surprised you know? Dante Stone running a daycare? Imagine that."
"Obviously I would hire workers and shit like that, but yeah, I wanna do it. I don't know it sounds stupid though. You think I could do it?"
I smile, "Yeah I do," I reply softly as we reach the hospital. "I know you could. I mean, you already own a casino. Why couldn't you do the same with a daycare? You can do anything you put your mind to, Dante."
I pick up my purse as Dante unlocks the doors. He smiles and pinches my cheek.
"You going soft on me, baby?"
I grin and slap him lightly in return. "Never, and don't call me that. "
He laughs as I get out of the car and shut the door behind me.
Dante rolls his window down as I am about to walk away. He grabs my hand and interlocks it with his. "I'll pick you up after work." He says.
"I don't need your help. I can get home j-"
I am cut off when he places his index finger from his other hand over my lips. "I know you can get home just fine but I want to take you home okay, dollface?"
He just had to throw in the cute name, didn't he!
I take my hand out of his and nod. "Don't call me that." I respond and turn around to hide my smile as I begin walking to the hospital.
"I saw that!" He shouts, as I walk inside and I smile harder.
I greet the receptionist that had been filling in for me and make my way to my locker. I change into my scrubs and go to Edward's office.
"Morning, boss!" I say cheerfully as I walk inside and am surprised myself.
What the hell was that? Gross.
Edward looks up from his computer and lowers his glasses. "Pardon me, for asking, but are you alright, Diana?"
"Yeah, I don't know what that was either. I've been overly giddy this morning."
"Perhaps you've finally been around a person or something that has had this effect on you,"
I smile and shrug, "Maybe life is just finally turning around for me."
He stands up and lowers his glasses further, staring at me in shock. "Did you… did you just smile and say life in the same sentence?" His accent sharp
I laugh, "Yeah I guess I did."
He picks up the office phone and dials the receptionist. "Call everyone in my office. Now."
After he says this, my coworkers start to appear inside and I grow confused at his sudden action. When the room is full, Edward stands in front of us all.
"I've gathered you all here to deliver a short but shocking and incredible announcement."
Please let Val be pregnant, oh please let it!
"Diana is happy!" He shouts and everyone begins to cheer loudly as if it was life changing news.
Some smile and congratulate me. I wave a dismissive hand, "Oh stop."
Talking commences between everybody and Edward sits back at his desk. "Everyone back to work now!" He orders and everybody begins to leave.
Once they are all gone, I sign the sign-in sheet, "Just you wait until I tell Val about this." I say before walking away.
For the rest of the work, I am on cloud nine. All the patients seemed to be in a good mood and there weren't any big surgeries today.
Fiona also called during my lunch break and told me she wanted to spend another night at Carter's mom's house. At first I was a bit sad because I had planned on watching the new episode of one our favorite shows, Flash, but I become happy again when I think about the fun she must be having.
With twenty-one minutes left until I am off, I go check on Jim. He was the only patient that I hadn't talked to today since he had been asleep. He came in a week ago, for a fractured rib and was sleeping most of the time.
"How are you feeling today, Mr. Handler?"
"Fine." He grumbles.
I nod and walk to his bed. I try to adjust it and when I feel him grip my arm, sharply, I gasp and face him.
"Look, bitch, I've had it with this. I've been sitting in this fucking hospital for over a week and if you don't give hurry up, you'll be the one in the bed."
Memories of my father rush to my head and I begin to breathe heavily. 'I've had it with this.' He'd always say every time I didn't fix what he told me to fix well enough. And that's when it'd start.
As my hand starts to sweat, I can tell it's starting to happen again.
Find 5 things I can see.
I get out of Jim's hold and rush out the room as soon as possible. I spot five things as I try to make my way to Edward's office.
3 things I can hear
Keyboards, shoes against the floor and shouting coming from a patient's room. Three things, that's good. Off to a good start.
I finally reach Edward's office and thankfully he is not there. I spot a corner next to my desk.
2 things I can smell
The blood pounds in my ears as my heart thuds in my chest. My hands shook. My feet tingled. My vision disfigured, as if I was looking through a fisheye lens as I sat down.
Knees in my chest, I rock slowly trying to smell two things. Vanilla perfume and a medi-
"I want you to contact my w-" Edward notices my behavior and rushes to me. "Diana, what's wrong?"
"Just get away from me!" I say and begin rocking faster.
"Diana, Diana, it's me. Edward. I'm not going to hurt you."
That's what they said too.
Tears begin to fall from my eyes as I rock. I just wanted to be alone. "Just get the hell away from me."
He moves closer and I back up, "Okay, you're having a panic attack, Ms. Ambrose. I'll be right back."
He runs off and I try to remove the images of my mother and father, but they don't leave, which only makes me cry harder.
He quickly returns and hands me a sandwich. There is a phone in his hand as he speaks and I bite on the sandwich. "Who do you want me to call, Diana?"
I tell him the only number that comes to mind and he dials it. He tells me he'll be here in ten minutes.
As I wait for Dante to arrive, I start to calm down. Edward helps me, talking me through it. Once Dante arrives, I am no longer filled with sadness. Only anger.
"Guess you wanted some of me a little early, huh? That's alright I was thinking the same th-" Dante says as I sit in the passenger's seat and close the door.
"I just left my jacket there. It shouldn't take long. I'll take the bus back."
He turns to me and furrows his brows. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." I mumble.
He stares at me for a moment and I turn my attention to the window. After a second, he begins driving. He turns the radio on as we sit in silence and I stare out the window, tapping my leg rapidly.
It isn't long before we reach his house. I step inside in search of my jacket and Dante starts prepping kisses on my neck. This only infuriates me even more.
"Would you stop trying to get in my pants for like five minutes!" I shout, and he backs up. "God you're so fucking lonely you need attention every goddamn minute."
His brows furrow and he looks at me surprised. "I don't know what the fuck crawled up your ass, but I don't need your fucking attention or anybody else's. I've done just fine on my own."
I throw my hands up, "Men! They think they're fucking entitled to everything! "
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I'm so tired of all of you! You guys think you are entitled to everything and when they don't want to give it to you, you just goddamn force it," I rant and begin pacing around the living room as Dante takes a seat on the bar stool.
"They manipulate, lie to you, abuse you, treat you like absolute shit and then have the audacity to complain about how their life is so hard!"
I shake my head in fury. "Audacity! That is all they have. You cocksuckers expect so much, yet give so little. "
I step closer to him. "At age twelve. Twelve years old! I was expected to have at least c cups, flat stomach, perfect hourglass body, amazing hair, amazing smell, all of that and you guys don't even know how to properly wipe your own asses!"
I throw my head back slightly and laugh as Dante continues to stay silent, "Oh and don't get me started on the, 'Right to sexualize someone because of the way they dress.' That is utter bullshit! No one should be sexualized or groped or assaulted because of the way they choose to dress. Instead, you sickos should learn how to keep it in your pants and not use clothing as an excuse to do awful things to someone! "
I step in front of him as my nostrils flare, "Well, aren't you going to say something?"
He doesn't say anything.
"Say something!"
He still doesn't say anything and I get closer, tears streaming down my face as I hit him. "Say something, dammit, say something! Tell me I'm wrong, yell at me, hit me back, fucking say something, Dante!" I sob
I step back, falling to the ground. "Say something." I whisper. "Like I should've."
Dante gets on the ground next to me and wraps his arms around me. "What's wrong, Diana?"
"I need to go home." I start to get up, but Dante sits me back down gently.
"Diana, tell me. What happened? What's wrong, baby? Tell me Diana, please.
"I'm tired. I'm just tired, Dante."
"You can lay d-"
"No, not like that. Mentally, I'm just exhausted. I don't have a clue what I'm doing with Fiona, I'm turning into my parents, and it's just like every time things get better, they get worse. One step forward, three steps back."
His hold tightens, and he lays me on his shoulder. "Tell me, baby."
I sigh. I didn't care anymore. I was tired of holding it in anyway.
"I'm going to give you the short version because a fully detailed one will give me triggers and you'll look at me differently and it'll just be awful."
I sat up slightly. "From age five to twelve, my parents abused me. It started off mentally and emotionally, then my dad came home drunk, mom made him mad and he took it out on me. First, the beatings were periodically. Then it became whenever I didn't do my chores well enough to every time he got angry. She never hit me, only watched and laughed. I used to go to school, but when the scars started becoming too visible, they took me out. That's when 'school' turned into a shed. They left nasty creatures and things in there until I was done. Luckily, they were nice enough to leave the gates closed, making only the small ones come out. "
His grip tightens on me and I wipe my eyes. "One night, he said, If I was extra good that night, he would give me a surprise. After dinner, he took me in my room to give me my 'surprise.' Then he raped me. That same night, I hear him and her having sex. A few months later, they found out she was pregnant and he didn't like that. That was one of the worst ones. I had turned twelve that year and he decided I was old enough to take it like a woman now. Some time later, they brought my sister home. When I saw her pretty little face and innocent body, I knew I couldn't let her go through the same thing. I set up the plan for months and when the day finally arrived it was go time. I waited until they had both drunk so much they were passed out, backed a bag and I grabbed my sister. He woke up, but I was already in too deep. The only thing around was a steak knife, so I stabbed him. And then again. Until I couldn't stop. I wanted my revenge. Mom woke up and looked at me in horror. She ran to me at full speed and I stabbed her. I grabbed my sister, the bag and ran. And ran. And I kept on running until I just couldn't no more. "
I wipe my tears and shake my head. "I was a kid. Shocked, scared, numb. So I did what I could think of. I went to the police and they sent me to foster care. They were going to take her away from me. I couldn't do that. So I told them I was her mom, and the system wasn't that good, so they didn't run any checks. Years later, I was on my feet finally. I moved out of Lily's apartment and got a place. Me and Fiona have been there since. "
It was all out now. Telling that story, I was most affected by Fiona. It was the best decision I had ever made.
Dante kisses my forehead multiple times and rubs my back for a long time before he stands up.
"Fuck." He mumbles
I raise an eyebrow. "What? What did I do?"
"You did nothing Diana. God, what happened to you is sick. It's me. I could have been gentle with you."
"What are you talking about?"
"I could have been gentle with you when we had sex I was so rough. I treated you the same way he did. "
I stand up, realizing what he is implying. "No! Don't you dare compare what my father did to me to you and I! I didn't want him to, I didn't like it and I never gave him consent. I wanted you to, and I loved every fucking minute of it, Dante!"
He shakes his head, a tear falling as he walks towards me. "You don't get it. You just don't get it baby."
Dante gets on his knees and wraps his arms around my waist. "I should have taken my time. I should have been gentle with such a delicate body. "
"Lay down," he says. "I want to see your scars."
"Why?"
"So I can see all the times I wasn't there to protect you."
I lay on my back on the cold floor and shiver. After lifting my shirt, he slowly kisses my biggest scar on my stomach and I feel a tear fall on it. And I watch as he kisses every single one of them. A tear falling on each one as he does so.
•••
Hey book lovers!
Sorry for the length of this chapter and previous ones. I'm trying my best to lower the word count don't worry!
Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter and if you did please, vote, comment and share!