He's just gonna leave you, Scarlett...
He doesn't want you anymore...
Might as well run away like the bitch you are...
And he'll never love you!
I jumped up, breathing heavily and bringing a hand to my hair, pushing it back. I frantically looked around then jumped slightly when I heard snores from below me. When I looked down, Carter's arms were securely wrapped around my waist.
I grabbed my phone and checked the time.
4:38 a.m
After placing my phone back, I ran my hands down my face and breathed out slowly. I glanced back down at Carter then carefully pushed him to the side before climbing out of bed, and going to the bathroom. The light was blinding and I was tempted to walk around with my eyes closed.
I shut the door behind me and looked in the mirror. Strands of hair were glued to my forehead and my eyes were slightly puffy. My face was beet red and overall... I looked awful. I turned on the cold water with a deep sigh and began to rinse my face off while pushing my hair out of the way in the process.
I turned off the water and grabbed a towel, patting my face down then drying my hands. I avoided looking in the mirror this time and I just shut the light off, walking out.
Thankfully, Carter was still asleep and it was obvious since you could hear his snoring. I crawled into bed beside him and hugged my pillow tightly.
"Baby... you okay?" He sleepily mumbled, rubbing my side.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"I know you're lying."
The bed shifted a bit and he turned me around, so I was now facing him.
He's so cute with bed head.
"What's got you up at four in the morning?"
"A stupid nightmare," I muttered, looking away from him.
"It's not stupid to me. Want to talk about it?"
I pursed my lips, looking at him again and slowly sitting up.
"I'm scared... you'll get tired of me, find someone better. It's just a bunch of possibilities and-"
"Nope, hush. Red, I'm not even thinking about being with another woman, why? Because I have all the woman I need right here," he told me, grinning. "And trust me, you're perfect."
"You're just saying that."
"No. I'm saying it because it's true. You're all I want."
I nodded my head then moved closer, laying on top of him. Carter brought his arms around my waist and kissed the top of my head.
"Don't ever think I just won't want you anymore. That'll never happens, Red."
"I know... and I trust you."
"And I trust you. Now get some sleep, you need it."
My eyes fluttered closed with a yawn and my arms went around his torso as I once again, fell into a deep sleep.
•••
My sleep didn't last long, but I wasn't surprised. It never lasts as long as I plan for it to, but it is what it is. I've had problems sleeping since the abuse with Liam started, and I guess I've never been able to fix it. I'm not trying to blame everything on him, but... he's done some damage.
Carter was fast asleep still, with his head resting on my stomach and his arms wrapped around my waist. I had my leg wrapped around him and I ran my fingers through his hair while he let out quiet snores. I lowered the volume on the tv, but enough where I could still hear my show playing.
I felt myself flinch slightly when his arm grazed over my thigh. All I had was leggings on, so it wasn't as thick as the sweatpants or jeans I usually wear. I sat up a bit, then slowly moved his arm back around my waist.
Carter let out a quiet groan and held my waist tighter, turning his head on my stomach. I brought my hand back to his hair, running my fingers through it and gently scratching his scalp. When he yawned, I knew he was awake and I doubted he was going back to sleep anytime soon.
"Hey, Red," he rasped, rubbing my side. "Slept
okay?"
"The best I could," I told him, looking down at him.
"I felt you move my arm... I didn't hurt you, did I?"
"N-No."
He looked up at me, pursing his lips.
"Are you sure?"
"You didn't really hurt me per say..." I trailed off.
"Then what is it?" He asked, sitting up.
"Hang on."
I climbed out of bed and went to my drawers, grabbing a pair of shorts. I didn't feel like going to the bathroom, so I changed in the closet. It saves time. Before I stepped out, I glanced down and let out a slow but deep breath.
They're just scars, they're just scars...
I stepped out of the closet and leaned against the door, playing with my fingers. When I looked up, Carter was already looking at me before his eyes scanned down to my thighs. I shifted my weight to the other leg, avoiding eye contact with him.
"Come here," he said, extending his hand out.
When I made my way to him, he grabbed my hand and gently held the side of my thigh. I watched his hand as his thumb gently grazed over them. He scooted closer to me and brought both hands up to my waist.
"You used to cut yourself," Carter whispered, looking at me.
I nodded my head, feeling my eyes begin to water.
"I managed to stop, but... i-it hurts just to look at them," I admitted, sniffling.
He hummed quietly, placing a soft kiss to my thighs. My eyes slightly widened when they made its way back to him.
"I don't see you any differently. I think
you're strong, yes, for going through all of
this by yourself. But you shouldn't have had to, baby."
"Y-You don't... you don't think I'm gross or anything?" I hesitantly asked.
"Of course not, Red. I would never think that of you. You're stronger than you think, baby, and I'm so proud of you for making it this far," Carter admitted, smiling.
I smiled back, wrapping my arms around him and hugging him tightly. His arms went around my torso, hugging me back even tighter and kissing my shoulder.
"This may not be the right time to say this, but your ass looks really good."
"Jesus, Carter," I laughed, moving my head to his shoulder.
"I'm just being honest," he laughed, smacking my butt.
"I'm putting my damn pants back on."
"No. We're gonna wrap your thighs up so they can heal properly."
"But-"
"But nothing," he interrupted.
Carter then stood up and grabbed my hand, leaning me to the bathroom and shutting on the light. He lifted me up and placed me on the counter top, then started digging in the medicine cabinet. I swung my legs and watched him, while humming to myself.
He put a bit of ointment in his hand, gently rubbing it across my left thigh then my right. I bit my lip when it started to tingle and I slightly wiggled my thighs.
"It's gonna sting a bit, but it's bearable," Carter spoke, wrapping a bandage around my left, then my right thigh.
He made sure they were fitted then lifted me off the counter and began washing his hands. I wrapped my arms around him from behind and kissed his shoulder blade then laid my head on his back. I glanced in the mirror, seeing him smile at me.
"You're so warm," I mumbled, holding him tightly.
"Get used to it," he chuckled. "We're going back to sleep, you look dead."
"Oh thanks," I chuckled.
"Look at the bright side, you're still sexy."
I squealed loudly when he scooped me up and carried me back into the room. He climbed in the bed and laid in the same position that we were in earlier. His head went to my stomach and he held me tightly, yawning.
"Night, night," he mumbled against my stomach.
I chuckled quietly then closed my eyes, letting out a yawn.