“Tadaima!” I call the moment I walk in, taking off my shoes in the genkan after a long day at work.
Mum’s reply comes immediately, “Okaire!” And then she’s practically running to receive me, taking my big purse with all the papers I bring from the office; mostly actors’ portfolios. “How was your day, Ann?” she asks as I put on my slippers and follow her to the kitchen. I’m starving.
“It was a long day. Meetings and more meetings but we are making progress,” I tell Mum, taking a seat in front of the plates she has set for me. “Itadakimasu!” I cry, clapping my hands once before grabbing the chopsticks and eating. Mum sits in front of me.
“Is it too hard? How are people treating you? Are you getting used to it?” she shots question after question, as usual. I know she’s worried and I know that if she weren’t worried about Father, she’d come with me to TP and help me through everything.
I heave a tired sigh before taking another bite of my meal. Once I’ve swallowed I reply, “I’m getting used to it, Teru-kun helps enormously, but I think he’s the only one that takes me seriously.”
I can see Mum’s concern reflecting in her expressions the moment I utter the words and for a second I regret ever saying them; but this is all too new to me and I need someone to rely on. I would love to talk to Father but I don’t want to disappoint him by telling him how I’m failing. The fact that the people I work with don’t respect me and resent me is just a sign that I can’t fill in Father’ shoes.
“Why do you think that?” Mum asks next and once again I sigh.
“Today I was presented the script and I honestly think it’s not… good enough. It can be better. It needs to make justice to the book. When I told Paul that, his face told me what he thought about my opinion.” I stay quiet for a few seconds before continuing. Mum doesn’t say anything; instead she just waits for me to finish. “I think he hates me for giving him orders because I’m just a kid in his eyes. I mean, I’m a kid. I’m not even eighteen and I’m giving instructions to a recognised and praised screenplay writer?” I laugh humourlessly. Mum’s hand reaches out for mine and her eyes are sympathetic.
“It surely is difficult for him. It must be a blow to his ego, Ann. You ought to understand that,” Mum reminds me and I sigh again. Can’t I do anything else tonight?
“I know, Mum. If I were in his shoes I’d be the same, but it still hurts. I don’t have ill intentions. I really want the best for this film,” I say, looking at Mum with pleading eyes as if she could give me the perfect tip to deal with this situation.
“You need to give them time to adjust to work with you instead of your father. Once they learn that you’re as professional and invested as your father, they’ll respect you, as well,” she tells me with a smile that I try to return. “And if they don’t, then you fire them,” she adds as a joke and I can’t help it, I chuckle.
“If they don’t respect me, they might as well fear me, right?” I joke along, her smile widens and her grip tightens.
“Exactly. Now finish your food before it gets cold. Then you can see your father. I’m sure he’ll like to know what happened today in the office.”
I obey her and finish my meal and once I’m done, I take a bath to relax before going to bed. But before I actually decide to rest, I go visit Father in his room. I only walk in when I’m allowed to do so.
“Good evening, Otousan,” I greet him with a quick bow.
“Hello, Ann,” he replies with a smile. “Come, tell me how was your day. Distract me! Sol has been trying to teach me Spanish the whole day but I can’t make a sound and she’s ruthless,” he adds in a light tone and even if he is complaining, I know he doesn’t really mean it. I wonder if he’s using that tone to amuse me because I look tired.
“Does she make you say rápido corren los carros del ferrocarril?” I question remembering the tongue twister she taught me to pronounce the “R” sound properly. Let me tell you, it’s really hard so I understand Father’s struggle.
“That one! You can actually say it,” he says, impressed and I smile happily, kneeling next to his bed. “What’s the secret?”
“Put the tip of your tongue on your hard palate and then make it vibrate, kind of,” I explain trying to show him.
For a few seconds we just try to make the sound and I end up laughing, making Father laugh again. I might not be the brightest daughter or the heir that he needs, but I know Father loves me and he’s always been kind to me. I just wish I could make him proud. That’s all.
“Now that you’re in a better mood, will you tell me what has you so worried, Ann?” he asks, taking my hand.
I take a deep breathe before answering. “I told Paul I didn’t like the script and I wanted him to improve it. He didn’t like my suggestions,” I tell him and Father only nods, which I take as an invitation to continue. “I even insisted that Terry McCracken had to work with him. I think that infuriated him further.”
“Paul is a prideful man, it does not surprise me,” Father says and I furrow my brow. Did he ever have a problem like this? “Did you bring the author?”
“I managed that. She’s delightful.” Father only smiles which tells me he knows and agrees. I’m not surprised, after all, he made the deal to buy the TV and Film rights.
“Don’t let other’s opinions or reactions affect you, Ann,” Father advises. “There will always be someone who disagrees with you, which only means you have to work harder to prove them you’re right. And if you’re wrong, you have to be humble enough to admit your mistakes and apologise for them.”
“Did you ever make a mistake?” I ask but I realise how silly is to ask that, of course he’s never made a mistake. He’s—
“Of course,” he replies instead, surprising me. “We all make mistakes. And I’ve always apologised after realising my mistake and done even more to make amends. That also helped me to earn people’s respect.” He smiles at me kindly and with his other hand he pats the back of the one he’s holding. “Respect is not something you’re granted, Ann. It’s something you earn. If Paul doesn’t respect you yet, or someone else, then you have to work hard to show them you are a hard working person.”
I don’t know what to say, so I just look down, trying to give my brain some time to process the advice and think of a reply.
“Calling for Terry was wise, Ann. She’ll give the input necessary to make a good script. If this satisfies her, then it’ll satisfy the readers. Don’t feel bad about what you did or said today based on how others reacted. Be assured you did well.”
Those words mean the world to me, they are all the assurance I need right now and my smile is immediate when I hear them.
“Arigatou, Otousan,” I thank him and he smiles back at me.
“You keep working hard, Ann. That’s all you have to do. But don’t go overboard. Take care of yourself and be strong. And no matter what happens with the film at the end, you’ll always have us.”
I know he’s trying to comfort me, to reassure me once again, but this time his words don’t work. The fact that he mentions that part at the end, that possibility of me ruining the film, tells me he also fears I’ll make more than one mistake; maybe way too many and even if that happens, I’ll still be his daughter. I’ll still have them, even if I destroy this project. Father believes that might happen; a part of him thinks that could happen and the reality of that strikes me hard.
I can only bow my head in gratitude for his gesture, but I can’t utter words.
“Now, why don’t you go to sleep? You look tired and tomorrow you have more meetings, right?” he asks and I nod again. “Do you have something else to report?”
“Just that we finally settled for Glencoe for the location. The set designers are already working. Casting is next week and we’ve sent the first script to some selected actors that we’re trying to attract for the roles.”
“Excellent. You’ll be shooting in no time,” he says and I smile, although I still have that bitter taste in my tongue. “Then I guess you should really go to sleep. Goodnight, Ann. Have sweet dreams.”
“You too, Otousan. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I bid him, standing up and then bowing to him before leaving his room.
I head to my room and I literally throw myself to the mattress of my bed. I’m exhausted and I want to just sleep, but I haven’t finished Wildfire and I’m dying to know what happens next in the story. I also have to feed Mu Xu. He’s in his glass home, sleeping. But I still wake him up, taking him in my hands and carrying him with me to my bed.
“Mu Xu, do you think father is scared I might ruin everything?” I ask my lizard pet. He doesn’t verbally respond, but I still keep talking, imagining him saying what I think he would say. Yes, but not with ill intentions. It’s just a probability. I sigh. “I know, I just wish I could reassure him that I can do this. I wish he didn’t have that fear.”
It’s your first production. It’s impossible he could just fully trust you without harbouring any doubt.
“Yeah, I know, but I still wish it weren’t like that. I guess it’s impossible. Not even I can fully trust myself. I’m pretty sure I’ll screw something up. I just hope it won’t be that big of a problem and that I’ll be able to fix it.”
And if you can’t, then you run away after bringing dishonour to your whole family. I’ll go with you, though.
“And dishonour to my cow, right? You’re really like Mu Xu, uh?” I say again, laughing at my own silliness. “Thank you for offering to run away with me if I ruin everything and make my father disown me.”
That’s what friends are for.
I smile and pet my lizard for a little longer before I return him to his house and feed him. Instead of going to sleep, I go through the portfolios, seeing a bit of every project the potential leads have been in, trying to picture them in the world described in the Element Bound Series.
It’s past midnight when I fall asleep over the papers without even covering myself. However, when I wake up I’m between the sheets, all the folders neatly stocked on my nightstand. I think Mum came to see me at some point in the night and tugged me under the covers. She knows I can fall asleep anywhere when I’m too tired, even on top of my textbooks and work. She developed the habit to check on me in the middle of the night, making sure I was properly in bed and not in an awkward position that would have me wearing pain reliever patches the next day.
I smile at the visual image before taking a deep breath and getting ready for a new day. Like that I start a new day in my new routine, hoping things will go well today and that I won’t make a fatal mistake before the shooting begins or even before we have the actors casted.
If I had known how things were going to turn out this year I would’ve prayed for some help for new years at the shrine. I should’ve prayed for Father’s health instead of a successful academic year.
But oh well, there’s nothing to do now. I just have to work hard and do my best not to ruin everything. I need to woman up and do my job.
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Hello! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It was more family orientated. A change in the series as there's always a parent dead in the previous books, right? Let me hear your thoughts!
Multimdia, Ann's mum.
Shout out to best previous comment: @Pebblesz05
Bel, xx