Things are about to pick up... are you ready?
Also, sensitive topics in this chapter.
Keeley's POV
How long had I been here? Weeks? Months? I didn't know. What I did know, was pain.
I was losing this fight. I no longer could stand well on my own nor could I lift my arms above my shoulders. Breathing, to me, was like inhaling thousands of bees that stung my lungs, and each breath came harder than the last. Any muscle I had was gone. My bones were beginning to poke out at odd angles, whether that was because they were broken or because I was malnourished, I didn't know.
I had become immune to the smell that rolled off me like waves. My blood was painted across my limbs, the floors, and the walls. Combined with the lack of food, I had no idea how I was still alive at this point.
I had told myself I would keep fighting, to not let Adrik win, but as time drug on, I had a harder time remembering the promise I had made however long ago.
The searing pain of my face was lessening as I laid my head against the cool concrete, but the relief was short-lived as the door to my cell swung open. The fluorescent lights from the hallway spilled into the room and burned my eyes.
"Let me tell you something, Keeley," his bitter voice began. I used to love it when he said my name, when it would roll so effortlessly off his tongue and fill me with warmth and comfort. Though, he no longer had that effect on me. Fear. Fear was all I felt when I heard his sour voice or the loud thumping of his shoes.
"I'm done trying to play nice. I'm tired of not getting the answers I need. We're going to try something new."
I had become accustomed to the different tones of his voice. I could tell when he was blinded by anger, when he was undoubtedly hurt, and when he simply just didn't know what to do. But this, his tone managed to send chills down my already frigid body. It was laced with his frustration, but also with a sense of contentment. Almost as if he was enjoying what was about to happen.
A group of six men came in carrying a large tub. I kept my eyes on them as Adrik hauled my body up from the floor and drug me over to what I now saw was a basin filled with water. It splashed over the sides as the men sat it down, and I could feel my body tensing up on its own accord.
Adrik held me with one arm across my chest, tugging me to him, and the other around the front of my waist. I could do nothing as I stared at the dark pool. He wouldn't... would he?
His nose ran down the side of my face and back up till his lips stopped at my ear.
"You've always proven to be a smart little girl, Kitten. You know where this is going. Tell me what I want to know and I'll save you."
His harsh whisper did nothing but send fear wracking its way through my body. I shook at the thought of all the air leaving my lungs and feeling myself lose the battle.
I would never get to see Brady laughing again as we snuck into the kitchen and made sundaes at one AM. I'd never see Dylan overcome his addiction and be happy. I would never get the chance to reconcile with my shit family. But mostly, I would never get to experience the wind in my hair or the sand in between my toes again. I would never experience watching the leaves change colors in the fall or the flowers bloom in spring. I would never get to see the sunset one last time.
Tears have not come easily to me in, what I think has been, a few weeks. My body has built a tolerance to the pain, but the thought of never getting to experience living life again? It fucking broke me.
"Please, Adrik, don't do this," I began to cry. I had never begged Adrik for a damn thing. I've asked for absolutely nothing. He's told me my life has been in his hands. I've never allowed myself to believe that, but as he began to yank me towards the basin and I struggled to get out, I realized he had been right all along.
I screamed as loud as my lungs would allow me, using the burning of my throat to fuel my protests. I clawed at his arms and used whatever strength I had left to try and break free, but it wasn't working. I kicked and kicked as he pulled me up and dropped me in the tub.
My head sunk below the water and I immediately pushed my way up. I gasped for air as I broke the surface. I coughed to get the water out of my lungs and did my best to brush my matted hair away from my face.
Adrik's shadow cast over me in the water that was now stained red from my blood. I looked up at him and gripped the sides of the basin tightly with my hands.
"What's it going to be, Kitten? Is it finally time to tell the truth?"
I couldn't speak as I broke into a coughing fit. My lungs were set ablaze with every breath I tried to take.
I wanted to live. I wanted to see the light of day again and watch the clouds move across the sky and feel the wind in my hair as I drove down some country road. I wanted to feel the warmth of the sun on my face as I lay outside in the green, green grass. I needed to tell him what was going on, but I couldn't.
He took my struggle as defiance. I didn't recognize what was happening till he was leaning over me with his hands pressing at my neck. My head swirled beneath the water as I thrashed around. I tried gripping the sides of the tub to pull me back up, but my strength was nowhere to be found.
I managed to get my head above water again when the pressure lessened. I shot up and grabbed onto his white button-down shirt, grasping onto whatever I could.
"Please, I'll tell you. Just please, don't kill me. I don't want to die, Adrik, please," I begged and screamed. I took in all of his features and the way they flowed together. From the sharp angle of his jaw to his dark, chestnut eyes. I took in the way his normally perfect hair was splayed in every direction, and I took in the way one of his hands pushed at my chest while the other was knotted in my hair.
I could learn to love him again, I thought to myself. We could move past this. All he had to do was let me live and I'd love him. Just let me live.
Just let me live.
His eyes stared back at me in contemplation, questioning me as to if I was actually telling the truth or not. I conveyed all the sincerity I had in me into my face, silently pleading him to believe me.
I watched as his chest rose and fell a final time before his grip in my hair tightened. I knew it was over.
"You lie."
I screamed and thrashed but it was to no avail. I was submerged in the water yet again, and this time, there was no getting out. I fought it, I did my best, but as air ran out and my body began to tire, I knew it was over.
I told myself if I somehow came out of this alive, that I promised to live. I promised to get out of here, no matter what it takes, and be better and do better for myself. Just so I could live again.
So as time stopped and my vision began to darken, I held onto that promise and took it with me to my grave.
***
"Keeley!"
A terrified wail broke through my lips as I shot up. Sweat flowed down into my eyes and my body trembled with fear. I registered Luca reaching towards me and I flinched away from him. I could tell it bothered him, but he stayed calm and didn't move closer.
"It's just a dream, baby. It's just a dream," he tried to comfort me.
But the thing was, it wasn't a dream. It was my life, and ironically, my death too. My life changed in a multitude of ways after that. I was dead, I was dead for three minutes. Adrik, whom I had loved at one point, took my life. That might have been the last day of physical torture, but the mental torture was just beginning. After they brought me back, he had placed me in a room upstairs to heal. But that, that's another story for another day when I'm not feeling as uneasy as I am right now.
"I'm going to get you some water-"
"No!" I shouted at him. His face recoiled in hurt at my sudden outburst. It was all too much right now. I looked around, trying to find something to ground myself with. I looked around at the pictures on the wall and took in the comfort of the blue comforter below me. I was in Luca's room.
"No," I said more softly this time. I shook as I stood up, nearly falling once I was upright. I caught myself on the bedframe before I could fall.
"I would like to go outside, okay?" I told him. He nodded slowly as he pulled a sweatshirt off the floor and handed it to me before grabbing one for himself. I tugged it over my head and waited for him to come out of his closet.
Luca didn't speak to me as we walked through the darkness of the house and out the back door.
"Keeley, you need shoes!" he called out to me, but I was already moving into the snow-covered lawn. The cold air filled my lungs in shock as I was suddenly knee-deep in the snow. I didn't stop.
I kept walking till I physically couldn't and I collapsed onto the ground.
"Keeley! Get a grip and come inside. You're going to get sick! Let's talk, okay?" he argued with me. Luca's voice had a slight edge to it: he was irritated and starting to lose patience.
"I don't want to. I want to sit in the snow," I told him, turning my attention from him to the snow surrounding me. I stuck my hands in it and cringed. The cold bit at my hands and caused them to sting, but I kept pushing them further. I needed to get that dream out of my head. I needed to focus on something else, I needed to be grounded.
I heard him let out a sound of frustration, but I ignored him. I took in the blackness of the sky and the stars that cluttered it. The wind whipped around me and caused me to shiver, but the air was so clear. I took in many deep breaths and basked in the freshness of it.
But then it was gone. Luca pulled me out of my little world and threw me over his shoulder. I pounded on his back and struggled as he brought us back into the warmth of the house.
"What the fuck, Luca?" I yelled at him as soon as he let me down. He turned to face me, and I had to do a double-take at the look that had appeared on his face. If looks could kill, I'd be dead.
"Me? I think it should be what the fuck, Keeley? Are you trying to get sick? Look at you!" he screamed while motioning his hands to me. "You're absolutely soaked and look at your skin! No shoes, no gloves! Are you trying to hurt yourself?"
"I'm. Fine," I snapped at him. We stared at each other for a long time. His sweatshirt was damp from hauling me back into the house and his hair seemed darker than normal in the dim light of the living room. His boots were creating a small pool of water below him.
I was freezing. My hands and bare feet stung as the warm air hit the redness of my skin. I was soaking wet from throwing myself into the snow, which now that I think about it, was more ice than I thought.
"Tell me what happened," he demanded softly. Luca stepped towards me, but I didn't move. His eyes flickered back and forth between mine, yearning to find the answers we both know he wouldn't get.
"You said it yourself, Luca: it was just a dream." Hurt flashed across his face, yet it was masked in an instant. I don't know why I was being so short with him. He didn't do anything wrong, but I needed space and he wouldn't give it to me.
"Don't act like that, Keeley. I'm trying to help," he spit out through gritted teeth. I watched his hands push further down into the pockets of his sweatpants, but otherwise, he stayed deathly still.
"I don't want your help right now, Luca. So leave me the hell alone," I fired back. He was doing his best to not snap, but I could see he was fighting an already lost battle.
I was hurting. The snow had seared my skin and my chest hurt from my nightmare. I was tired of being the only one hurting, and for some fucked-up reason, I wanted him to hurt too.
"Don't be like that, Keeley," he spoke a bit louder this time. His frustration was almost at its max, all I had to do was push a little more.
"Be like what, Luca? I didn't ask you to help me. So whatever part of the hero you're trying to play, it's not going to work."
"Why are you pushing me away, Keeley? I want to help you and all you're doing is berating me!"
"You don't get it, Luca! You live in your own little perfect world while some of us have to deal with real-life shit! I don't want to talk about, and I want you to leave me the fuck alone!"
I sighed heavily and looked back at him. He was biting his lip and his eyes focused anywhere but mine. Luca's dark ocean blues were glassy as he swallowed.
"Luca? Keeley? What's going on?" I looked around Luca to see my father standing there in his pajamas while rubbing his eyes.
The look on Luca's face hurt me more than I thought. I had wanted him to hurt with me, but all it did was make me feel more like a piece of shit.
"Nothing," Luca whispered, his voice sounding like it was breaking. He turned to face my father. "Absolutely nothing."
My father and I watched as Luca picked his keys up off the hook in the entryway and left. He slammed the door behind him.
My father and I looked at each other and I could tell he was trying to think of the right thing to say.
"I know I'm still sort of new at this whole girl-dad thing, but is this when I'm supposed to ask you about your boy troubles?'
"Dad," I groaned as I walked over to the couch and sat down. I curled my legs up under me and held my head in my hands. What the fuck had I just done?
I felt the couch shift as my father sat beside me. He didn't say anything, but rather he waited for me to speak.
"I had a nightmare," I began. "I woke up screaming and Luca was there. I wouldn't let him comfort me and instead, I told him I wanted to go outside. I ran out into the snow without shoes or gloves, and when he picked me up and brought me inside, I was upset. I wanted him to hurt like I was and I was a complete bitch to him."
I risked a look at my father. His hair was sticking up and his gaze was set in front of him, his head nodding ever so slightly. He waited for a moment before turning to me.
"Luca loves you, Keeley, and I know you love him. And when you love people, you can't do what you just did-"
"Wow, great advice, Dad, really. Glad we could have this-"
"Would you shut up?" he interrupted after I interrupted him. I let out a breath and looked down.
"Sorry," I mumbled while curling myself up into a tighter ball.
"As I was saying, relationships are about balance and love and being there for each other. You wanted him to hurt so it would make you hurt a little less. That's not the answer, Keeley. If you want it to hurt less, then you should have told him about what happened. He would understand and hurt with you rather than because of you. Nobody likes it when they're hurting alone, I get that. But you don't get to take it out like that.
"I heard the fight between you two, I was in my office. Though you both lost your tempers, it's not fair what you did to him. You told him he gets to live in his own little perfect world. Have you ever stopped to ask him about what keeps him up at night? You've been together for a while now, but do you really know anything about him, Keeley?"
My father paused, waiting for my answer, but the truth was, I didn't have one. I racked my brain over the past few months searching for anything, yet I came up short. Have I really been that selfish where I couldn't even ask my own boyfriend about his life?
My father spoke much quieter this time. "Let him have his space, just like you asked for yours. Think about what happened and what needs to happen. You need to apologize, and maybe you should be the one to start asking questions, Keeley. He shouldn't have to do it all."
He pushed himself off the couch, leaning down to kiss my head goodnight before walking back to his office.
What had I done?
***
Luca's POV
"Can I just get coffee, please?" I asked the waitress from my spot at the counter. She nodded her head before turning around and going to get the pot.
After mine and Keeley's fight, I drove to Blue's because what else is open at two in the morning? I needed space and time to clear my head.
If I'm being honest, I have no idea what just happened. All I wanted to do was help, but it was like she was on a mission to hurt herself and anyone who was around her. Well, mission accomplished because I feel like shit.
She basically had told me that I'd never be her hero and that my life is all rainbows and shit. She doesn't want my help: fine. What she doesn't get to do though, is assume my life is so much better. She's never asked about my past and I've never told her. I guess I'm part to blame on that one, but does she forget I kill people for a living?
The waitress came back with the coffee pot and filled my mug. The bell rang overhead as she walked away and I lifted the cup to my lips. I glanced over to see a guy probably about my age enter through the door. He looked around, and when his gaze met mine, he gave a tight-lipped smile and walked over.
"Mind if I sit here?" he asked with an accent I couldn't quite place.
"Not at all. You just move here?" I asked as he picked up the menu.
"No, I'm just passing through. I was relieved to see someplace open this early or late, depending on how you look at it."
I let out a small chuckle at the stranger. He was probably about 5'9" or 5'10", I couldn't tell. He was on the leaner side, but it didn't make him seem weak at all. In fact, even with the small smile on his face, he was increasingly intimidating.
His posture was stiff, but it didn't seem like he was uncomfortable. His brown hair was cropped short on the sides and stayed longer on top. It was gelled perfectly, and his clothes didn't have a single wrinkle. Three rings decorated each of his hands, and his face was chiseled and had no facial hair. His nose was crooked like it had been broken multiple times before.
There were two things that caught my attention though: one, the color of his eyes, and two, the scar that ran down the side of his face, almost nicking his eye.
His eyes were the deepest shade of brown I'd ever seen, and whenever he looked at me, I couldn't help but feel like he was analyzing everything I did. And that scar, whatever had gotten him did it well because it was dark and stretched from the top of his left eyebrow down to his chin.
"So, we know why I'm here, why are you here?" he asked me while setting down the menu. "You look like something's on your mind."
"Well," I sighed while turning my attention to the stranger, "I got into a pretty bad fight with my girlfriend."
I thought I saw something flash across his face, but I must have imagined it because it was gone as soon as it appeared.
"What about?" he asked as the waitress set down a glass of water in front of him. She disappeared back to the kitchen.
I thought about what to say as I didn't want to share Keeley's business, but honestly, I didn't know what to do so I told him anyway.
"She gets these nightmares sometimes. When she wakes up, she sometimes just needs to be held and sometimes she needs to calm down so I help her into the shower. She passed out once, but tonight was different. She woke up with a blood-curdling scream and refused to be touched. She ran outside without gloves or shoes, and when I brought her back inside, she flipped. She insulted me and told me that my help would never be needed."
He nodded his head as he sipped from his water glass, taking a moment to wipe his mouth with a napkin before responding.
"Do you know what causes these nightmares?" he asked strangely intrigued.
"No, I don't, and that's what fucking sucks. The only person who can ever help her is her best friend Brady. He knows more than I do. But what really gets me going," I spoke, finally able to get all of this off my chest.
"Is that last week she had one of these after a song came on. I've never seen her so broken and it killed me. I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Her golden eyes that had been happy only moments before were suddenly filled with fear. Keeley couldn't get away quick enough. I didn't see her till later that night when she came to me and told me what happened."
"So what did happen?" he asked. It was almost like we were old friends catching up. He seemed to be genuinely interested and it was kind of nice that someone was listening to me for once.
"Apparently, that song had a lot to do with her past. She said it had some good in it and some bad, but more than anything, it was just overwhelming. We made up, but I don't know how many more freak-outs I can do without knowing what happened. She's incredibly strong and hard-headed, and she doesn't want anyone's help. But I love Keeley, and the last thing I want to do is push her away, so I'm at a loss"
He nods his head in understanding before speaking.
"I had a girl like your Keeley, once. God, she was beautiful and her laugh was the most melodious type of sound, but she too didn't want to let people in. My girl believed that she could take on this world without any help. What helped her open up, though, was opening up myself. Have you told her anything about you?"
"No," I spoke quietly, suddenly more interested in my coffee cup than anything else. "I haven't."
"Well, I hate to sound harsh, but you can't expect her to open up if you're not willing to either. Think of it like this: if she lays out her past, then it's all on the table. It's just her out in the open, waiting for your judgment. If you were, perhaps, more open with her, she might feel more inclined or more secure to share her story with you."
I thought about what the stranger said, and if I'm being honest, I've never thought about it like that. How was she supposed to lay it all out on the line if I wasn't willing to reciprocate?
"Yeah, you're right. I think I'll try that," I told him with a small smile. He returned the gesture and slapped a hand on my shoulder as he stood up.
"I'm glad I could be of help, but I do think I must be going. The main thing to remember, though, is to love her. You never know in this crazy world when time will be cut short. Cherish every moment and treat her like the queen she is."
He turned around and began walking towards the door. I called out to him when his hand began to push on the handle.
"Hey, what ever happened to your girl?"
Something made me uneasy as his head turned over his shoulder and he looked at me with a wicked smile. The glint in his eyes made me remember the gun in my waistband.
"She got away, but I'm not worried. She'll be mine soon enough."
He opened the door and stepped outside, turning to face me one last time.
"Goodnight, Luca."
I watched as he walked out of sight and into the snow. He had honestly helped me a lot in sorting things out in my head. I did need to open up to Keeley more, and maybe we just needed some time together. I was grateful for the man's help, but there was one thing that I couldn't stop thinking about:
How the hell did he know my name?
***
Adrik's POV
I laughed to myself quietly as I unlocked my car and slid in a few blocks away from the lousy diner.
I had every intention of killing Luca Moretti tonight. In fact, I was quite looking forward to it. When my patrol had notified me that they saw his car sitting in the parking lot, I was fully prepared to watch my Kitten's world start crumbling around her as I beat her beloved to death. But then I got in there.
Luca Moretti was not the same man I had seen in the video. That man was strong and dominating, not afraid to get his hands dirty if need be. No, the man at the counter was a lovesick puppy crying over his mistakes. He was weak, killing him then would have been too easy.
And even though I did find him to be quite dreadful, I did rather enjoy our conversation. Keeley still dreamt of me, which was nice. She even remembered our song. Keeley couldn't even be fully Luca's because her mind still thought of me.
I would give them time together. I would let their relationship strengthen before I destroyed it. And because messing with Luca Moretti pleased me more than I thought it would, maybe it would be more entertaining to drag this out a little bit.
I had gone without Keeley for two years now, and what drove me crazy, was not knowing where she was or if she still thought of me. Knowing the answers to both of those questions, I could go a little while longer without having my kitten in my hands again. Plus, I learned something very valuable tonight that I had forgotten all about.
I picked up my cell phone and dialed my right-hand man's number. As it rang, I gazed in the mirror and traced the scar going down my cheek with my eyes.
When he picked up the phone, I was already excited about what was to come. "Nixon, there has been a change of plans."
Let the games begin, Kitten. Your time is up.
________________________________________________________________________________
Can you believe it? Two chapters in a week! Ah, I loved this chapter!
As always, please tell me what you think, and Happy Reading!
Final Word Count: 4867