Here I was...
I've pushed this to the thing I wanted to do last but here I was standing in rainy New York by myself in the cemetery.
'Carson Lee Rose'
"Loving Dad, Grandfather, and a Brother to many'
My grandfather. One of my best friends.
There I stood in my hooded black leather jacket with the hood up so the water couldn't reach my face. Though the tears sure did.
"Hi Grandpa," I said, kneeling down in the wet, muddy grass. As I rubbed my fingers across his name engraved into the stone, I softly smiled, remembering all the memories.
"I miss you, but I'm doing something I've always dreamed of. As you always said, 'chase your dreams.'" I paused. "And god, I'm gonna do exactly what i dreamed of. I'm going to travel everywhere and I'm going to make you proud by doing what I'm happy doing." I said as tears started running down my face.
"You're my first stop, always my first stop." I whispered the last part. A large lump in my throat appeared as I was trying to hold back my tears. So I just let it out.
"I think I'm gonna be really happy doing this. I just really wish you were here! I- I would send you postcards from everywhere I'm going!" I exclaimed, starting to scream and letting my emotions get the best of me.
"I'm also using my dream to travel as a distraction." I spoke after I wiped my nose.
"I miss him, but I'm not going to let that affect how I take on the world." I said as I took a breath before talking again.
"And! And i didnt want to leave Techno but this is something that i had to do! And he knew that and he let me go. He understood, which in my life not many people could understand me!" I screamed the last part.
"If he wasn't fucking scared of planes I would've taken him with me!" I said laughing at the beginning.
"No matter what, I'll always be your little girl, since princess park" I said reminiscing on the moments in that park he used to take me too when i was younger.
"I'm going to miss you, but my journey starts now..." I spoke as a soft smile came on my face. "I love you, I'll come back when i'm finished."
I stood up and dusted off my black jeans which had mud on them that I knew wasn't going to come off easily. I started my trek to my car which was about a block down because his grave was in the middle of the field.I got into my car, which was a rental, and started off to the hotel I was staying at.
Mascara ran down my face as I pulled into the parking lot and I couldn't help but feel a weight lift off of my shoulders. I got out of the car and ran into the hotel as it started to pour down harder.
"Miss, are you alright?" Somebody said to me as they saw my face. I softly smiled at them and nodded.
"Yeah I'm alright, Thank you for asking" I responded back to the older woman who smiled as I started my walk to the elevator. Once I got there I pressed 7, to which the elevator took me up.
"Number 11, Number 11, Number 11!" I spoke in a whisper as I looked for my room. Once I unlocked the door, I locked it again and cleaned up my makeup, taking off my shoes off to clean.
I cleaned off my shoes and took my jeans off and put on a different pair then my black doc Martin boots back on once they dried. I scrubbed my jeans that were covered in mud the best I could before putting them in a plastic bag and into my suitcase.
My suitcases rolled down the hallway after me as I pulled them into the elevator. I readjusted my backpack as I pulled my hoodie up and stood in line.
"Miss! How can I help you today?" The same older woman as before, said to me.
"I'm checking out. Floor Seven, Room 11." I said as I placed the card down to which she took, I nodded and slowly walked away.
"Have a nice day ma'am!" The man at the door said as he opened it.
"You as well" I responded as I got into the car and drove it to the airport car rental place. Once I gave the car in, I took a taxi to the airport.
"27 dollars and 50 cents" The driver said, as i opened my wallet and handed him 30.
"Keep the change" I said smiling and getting out of the car. I put my headphones back on and my hood back up as I threw my backpack on my back and grabbed my suitcases from the trunk and started in.
As soon as I got into the airport I walked towards my gate after getting all of my security shit done.
"Tommy, get back here!" I heard a woman yell, to which I speedily turned around and looked for the blonde brit, only to find him not there.
"There you are!" The mother said to her son who was about 3. I quickly turned back around and tried to shake him from my thoughts as my gate number was called.
"Flight Number 31250, At Gate E To Orlando, Florida is Now boarding." I heard through the loud speaker as I started walking to the gate.
Both my bags were already put on the plane and I was bringing my backpack as a carry on so I was ready, but I still felt like I was forgetting something, well someone actually.
As I walked up to the gate and handed the woman my ticket to which she scanned it, I headed on to the plane. Before entering I stuck my hand on the outer edge as nobody was behind me and I took a second and breathed.
"New York, Down" I said smiling as I entered the plane and got in my seat.