Niall's P.O.V.
I feel my eyes start to water.
"No.. Uh no we aren't... Were you expecting him?" I murmur to her.
"I just saw him, he said he'd be waiting for me when I woke up. He said he'd be here... He lied." Lana whispers back, dissapointment clear on her face.
"Lana he can't be here... " I whisper back.
Lana nods and closes her eyes, processing that her dead best friend just lied to her in a dream. Of course it's a little odd that he came to her but I'm not going to question it.
As she wakes up a little more she processes Liam and Harry. And smiles at me, pushing Aaron from her mind.
Liam steps up to her side and takes her hand. "Hey love, how are you feeling?" he asks.
"Lighter, happier, warmer.. Better. Thank you for doing this. All of you." Lana whispers.
"Anytime babe, you know you're family now." Harry says leaning across me to kiss her cheek.
Lana smiles then takes in her surroundings. Her face falls.
She turns to me. "What room is this?" She asks.
We both watch Liam go and look at the number outside the room. He comes back in slowly.
"Room 116. Why?" He asks.
"Aaron.... " Lana chokes out. "Get me out. Get me out of here. NOW!" She shouts.
I jump up and run into the hallway and grab a wheelchair then run back in. Liam gently lifts Lana from her bed and sets her into the wheelchair while me and Harry disconnect her from the wires that are connected to her. We don't really watch where we take Lana. We just walk. For a few hours, until she falls asleep again. We stop in the food court, grabbing some food and tea. Then we make our way back up to Lana's room. I gently pick her up and place her back on her bed, then I lay beside her. Harry and Liam come each come over and plant kisses on her cheek then leave to go to the hotel.
I lay awake for at least an hour just watching Lana sleep and thinking.
Where would I be right now, if Aaron hadn't died, if he hadn't bought that front row ticket at MSG? I wouldn't have this blond haired beauty sleeping next to me, and she could possibly be dead. I have saved her from herself... And she has saved me. I carefully tug on the sleeve of my Jack Wills shirt., revealing the scars on my wrists. I used to cut. The haters used to get to me a lot. The only one who knew was Liam. He would constantly watch me, to try and keep me from cutting. It never worked, I would always end up alone with a blade in my right hand. I remember 2 nights before the MSG concert Liam found me in my hotel room crying my eyes out because of the hate I was still getting from people all over the place.
-----Flashback-------
"Niall?" Liam asks as he pushes the bedroom door open.
"Liam, why do they hate me so much? What have I ever done to them? Sometimes I wonder why I'm even here, why I'm part of the band. People hate me for no reason. I've done so much to please them! I've gotten braces and I've been working out and everything! They wouldn't even care if I killed myself. I have no one to love me. I know there's a girl out there for me. But I'm tried of waiting, my heart hurts to much. I want to let go..." I whisper, sobbing, staring at my laptop screen.
"No, Niall, no. You're wrong. I can feel it too, your pain. Everyday I see you walking around with a sad look on your face. It breaks my heart. You are my best mate. I don't know what I would do without you. I don't know who I would be without you! Those haters, they're all just jealous. And I think you're soul mate is a lot closer to being found than you think. She's probably deciding what outfit to wear to MSG right now. She's going to be there. I know it Nialler. Just hang on a little bit longer. For me. For her. For the boys...." Liam whispers back, pulling me into his arms, and closing my laptop.
"But I-" I start.
"No buts. Please. Please Niall try. Just 2 more days." Liam pleads.
"Fine. Only for you." I whisper.
"Promise?" Liam asks.
"Always.... " I mumble back sniffling.
----End Flashback-----
Lana seriously changed my life. If it weren't for her I probably would have cut my arms to shreds two days after the concert. I stopped cutting the night I met her. Those first few hours that I spent with her made me realize how strong one person could be after going through such terrible things.
"Niall.... What are these?" Lana asks reaching out to take my wrist.
She runs her soft, cold fingers over my scars and blinks sleep from her eyes.
A million memories of hate, and nasty hate mail run through my head. Do I tell her? No. Not now.
"They're just.... memories, terrible memories. Things that came before you.." I whisper to her, kissing her head. "Go back to sleep Lana. El, Lou, and Zayn are going to be here tomorrow."
"Okay... Niall.. I love you." She whispers, whille yawning,
"I love you too babe." I whisper before closing my eyes and drifting off.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Liam's P.O.V.
Harry and I checked into the hotel late, and I found myself thinking of Danielle, Niall and Lana.
I really did miss Danielle, a lot. Every time we sang Little Things or Over Again my heart would just ache. The boys knew how much I missed her, and they were always watching me to make sure that I wouldn't do anything stupid or crazy. The fact is that I've been thinking of how Niall used to cut. Before Lana. I've been thinking about how he must have been feeling what I'm feeling right now. Alone, and without a cause. Without someone to care for on a level higher than anyone would think was humanly possible.
I miss Danielle, so much that I considered cutting. Every night I would pull out a blade and just stare at it. My eyes wandering to the tattoo on the outside of my wrist.
Only Time Will Tell...
Then I remember the nights I would hear Niall crying from his room in the hotel room that we shared. How even though he was feeling like a piece of gum on the bottom of everyone's shoes he would go out to every show with a smile. To show the fans that cared about him that he was strong.
Niall has kept me strong. He really is my best mate. I'm glad that I walked in on him that night a little more than a month and a half ago now. How I saved him that night. It keeps me from harming myself because I know if I leave him behind then he will crumble again.
Lana.. Oh, Lana. She's my best friend too. We've had some amazing conversations and she never brings up Danielle, she makes my pain go away. She makes me happy. In the weeks that we've gotten to know Lana we have all learned so much about each other.
I find myself dreaming of Danielle.
We are driving on this road that never seems to end, and we're laughing and she's holding my hand again, but then out of no where a car hits us. Head on. I feel myself slipping away. I hear Danielle's gentle crying as she pulls herself close to me. I feel my dream self wrap my arms around her broken frame and whisper "I love you." one last time before everything goes black and I bolt straight up in bed.
"Something wrong mate?" Harry asks from somewhere close to me.
"What? Oh.. Uh, yeah just a weird dream." I say.
I walk out into the small kitchen area and make myself some tea. Then as I start to drink it I get a text from Niall.
"-Nialler Like A Puma: Hey, they are releasing Lana tomorrow. Meet us here in 30min, with boardgames."
I smile at Niall's new name in my phone. "Harry! Get ready and grab some board games. We're going to spend the day at the hospital with Niall and Lana!" I yell to Harry in the other room.
"Alright. Give me 10 minutes!" He yells back.
I quickly finish my tea and go to get changed. Pulling on some jeans and a white shirt with the purple Jack Wills shirt that I borrowed from Zayn.
"Come on mate. Now who's the slowpoke, we're usually waiting on Zayn!" Harry yells from the door.
I meet Harry at the door and make sure to lock it behind me.
Hopefully locking my dream inside too.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lana's P.O.V.
I blink my eyes open, every second I spend in this room I can feel Aaron around me. It's driving me crazy. I let my eyes linger on Niall's sleeping face.
Oh, how lucky am I that he loves me? I remember my plan for after the concert. My terrible plan. To somehow get myself into an accident. The pain was still to real. I hated myself, and no one else would accept me. I never cut myself. I never had the pain tolerance to make myself. So I stopped eating, because the empty feeling in my stomach was better than the constant aching of my heart. But part of me knew I could never harm myself in anyway. Not when I had just been to the concert of a lifetime, with 5 brilliant young lads telling me, constantly, all night that I was in fact beautiful. That they did love me. I remember the way I felt when Moments came on. How my heart fell into my stomach. How even though the song held the worst memory for me, that something good would come out of it. How Paul brought me to Niall that night.
I just watch Niall sleeping face and I remember our first kiss, just hours after we met. I remember how easily I opened up to him backstage at the concert.
My whole life changed because of one, single, fan girl moment in the shower, in this very room. When my best friend decided that he loved me enough to send me to the concert of a lifetime, and not even worry about the ridiculous ticket price.
I was so greatful to him. Niall's eyes slowly open.
"Good morning beautiful." He whispers.
I smile as a doctor comes in and explains that they will be releasing me tomorrow, then leaves.
"What would you like to do today?" Niall asks as the doctor leaves.
"Lazy day? Call the boys and El." I say, detaching myself yet again from the wires connected to me, and from Niall's grasp.
"Right." He says pulling out his phone to text Liam. Then he calls Louis.
I don't pay any attention to him as I search for other clothes.
"Niall.... Did you bring me other clothes?" I say pouting at the hospital gown I'm wearing.
"Uh no.. You passed out in the car before we got to the airport.. and we kinda just left our suitcases there. Louis says he's bringing them though. But here, they just brought in what you had on yesterday." He says handing me the leggings, sweatshirt, tank top, and bra I had on yesterday.
"Oh thank god. I hate this thing." I say as I take them from him.
He chuckles. "I'm going to get us some food. I'll be back in five minutes okay?" Niall asks coming over to where I have successfully pulled on my leggings without falling over.
"Yes. Hurry though I'm starving!" I say.
Niall pulls me into his arms for a famous Horan Hug. I smile as I remember the first one I got.
"You got it babe." Niall says. Kissing my cheek as he leaves the room.
I smile.
I'd probably be dead without him. Lack of nourishment no doubt. Now, I eat just like he does.
I go to pull on my tank top over my bra but my hand brushes the two places on my abdomen that are covered in ugly stitches. I stare at them for a while before realizing they will scar up eventually. Just another constant reminder of my battle with the universe.
Niall comes back in carrying food, but he sets it down on the bed as he sees my facial expression.
"What's wrong?" He asks, panicking a little.
"I'm not in any pain it's just.. my stitches...." I sigh still feeling the bumpiness of them before pulling my tank top down.
"Lana. You are beautiful. It doesn't matter what other people think of your scars. Scars are what make us who we are. Besides I'll know where they came from, and so will the boys and El. Don't worry." Niall says leaning down to place a gentle kiss the the skin above my stitches.
Then he stands up and kisses my lips. "It doesn't matter what people will think, because I will always love you."
I smile and the boys and El burst through the door. I plant a quick kiss on Niall's lips before stepping away from him to catch Eleanor as she runs at me.
"Don't you ever scare me like that again!! I was so worried!" She shouts at me.
I give a small laugh. "El, I love you. Don't worry I'm not leaving anytime soon."
"I love you too. Awww. Your flawless skin.." She whispers seeing the ugly blackness of the stitches that are bound to give scars poke through my tank top.
I glance at Niall, remembering what he just said. "It's okay. I don't need to have flawless skin all the time... According to someone we both know." I whisper into El's ear pulling on Niall's sweatshirt to hide my new deformity from everyone's view.
El gives a cute little squeal and jumps as Zayn makes his way over to me.
"You are not allowed to ever. Ever. Be sick again. You scared me to death." Zayn says hugging me tightly. "Love you babe." He whispers.
"I feel so loved today." I laugh.
"We love you Lana!!!!" Everyone shouts all at once.
I smile to myself as Niall hugs me again. Then Liam pulls out Apples-to-Apples, and we all settle down to play.
We move my hospital bed so we all can sit in a big circle on the floor. Niall sits on my right, and Liam on my left, with Zayn on the other side of him. I did save Zayn. I know I did, he quit smoking. As if reading my mind, Liam turns to me.
"Lana. You saved me. You changed my life. Without you.. Well.. Just know that I love you. And you're now officially my best friend. More than Niall is." Liam says kissing my cheek.
I saved Liam too? From what? Now's not the time to find out. But as I turn to Niall again I see the same scars that I saw last night. "Memories. Terrible Memories.." he had said. I reach out a place my fingers on his wrist again. Feeling the roughness of the scars that were so obviously caused by self harm.
"Niall..." I whisper.
All eyes turn to us, as Niall himself turns to face me.
"It's a story for another day love. All you need to know for now is that you stopped them. You saved me." He whispers.
I hear Eleanor gush.
"It's funny..." I say turning to look at Liam too, and Zayn.
"You guys all saved me. All 5 of you. You don't want to know where I would be without you. I guess I have a lot more to be grateful for than I thought. And you El. Of course. Where would I be without you." I say smiling slightly.
"Look at us. We're some crazy family. Five guys in a world famous boyband, a beautiful fan, and a gorgeous model. What have we done to deserve this?" Louis asks to no one.
"Who cares? We all saved each other. We all have each other that's all that matters." Harry says.
I smile.
"Okay, I don't know about you guys, but I'm really freaking good at this game. So I'm prepared to win. Oh, and I love you all." I say smiling.
Liam and Niall kiss both of my cheeks at the exact same time, and somehow El gets a picture.
"Twitter!!!" She yells, and then posts it.
"Oh Elly... You tweet the greatest things. Will you go on tour with me?" Louis asks out of the blue.
"W-What? Uh. YES! Who do you think I am Louis William Tomlinson?" She asks.
"My beautiful girlfriend obviously." He fires back.
We all laugh and start our game. Spending the rest of the day surrounded with the love of our crazy family.
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woohoo! another chapter down. i broke 50 reads this week! Also i realized that i need to put more of the characters thoughts into the story so yay. hope you guys enjoyed this chapter,sorry the ending isn't the best, though the next one chapter will be better!
thank you my Lovelies<3
-HayLoHoran-