There stood a woman with long straight black hair with blue eyes and a small tear emerging at the corners. Whatever belongings she had on her dropped to the floor upon seeing me but when she stepped closer I moved back.
Why is she here...? How is she here?! Why now of all times...why when I was finally happy again?
"...wait....Evan?!!" She called out to me but I could hear nothing but the constant ringing in my ears
My hands are trembling but still balling into fists, I want to move...I want to punch her. I want to kill her...why isn't my body responding?! I can't see anything else. All my focus is directed to her face while the rest is blurred out.
Suddenly I felt a strong grip on upper arm and soon Natsuki stepped infront of me, blocking my view of the one infront of me. She held my face, forcing me to look down at her and began speaking, whatever she said didn't faze through me but just by looking at her I could feel my heart beat slowing down until I finally take a breath or more so a gasp of air and step back.
"Shhhh, hey...calm down.."
"W-who are you?!"
Natsuki seemingly ignored her and started pushing me backwards until I tipped over and sat down onto one of the chairs.
Still panting heavily my eyes where still glued to mom who just stood there in shock until Natsuki walked back to her and spoke to her before they moved to the living room.
As they did I just stare at the knife on the floor with my teeth still grinding against each other hidden behind my lips. Keeping my eyes on the living room entrance I get up and quietly get the blade and as I picked it up the front door swung open.
"Evan?! I heard screaming! what-" Sayori stood at there door with absolute fear in her eyes as she saw me holding the blade half knelt down.
"Wh- what are you doing?!?" She rushed over to me and I got up, her hands trying to take the weapon from me but I pulled away, not resisting fully but not giving in either.
"Evan...what happened...?" Her voice went into a soft tone of worry as she placed her hands on my shoulders but before I could say anything she peaked over my shoulder and looked behind me.
Her eyes widened and she yanked her arms off of me and stepped aside to get a better view of what's there...
Natsuki and mom must have heard her shout and came to look, the knife was still in my hand as I was at the near point of turning around and make a move.
"Y-..you."
"Sayori! I um..."
Sayori saw my current state and immediately grabbed my arm, forcing it down when I was about to raise it and turn.
"Evan...don't. Please.."
I don't let go of the knife but I loosen up while I hear footsteps come up behind me.
"Stop." I say immediately.
"Evan please listen to me."
"Why...are you here?"
I don't face her at all. I'm just staring at the open door and looking outside with my back turned to her because if I look at her in this current position I will end up doing something.
"This is my home...and I came for my so-"
"You finish that fucking sentence and I'll cut your tounge out. I am not your son..."
"Evan!" Natsuki yelled as I finally turned around and face her with every ounce of agony in my body.
"You never had a son the day you walked out that door remember? You thought it was a good idea to just up and leave and never have anything to worry about ever again!"
Flipping the blade in my hand I begin stepping closer to her. Swallowing all my emotions I keep going as I block out anything the others say or do.
"You ruined everything since day 1 and when you saw there wasn't anything left to fuck up you move on! You leave me in the one place I call a nightmare because of what you did, what you did to dad, what you did to me!! And now you suddenly had the audacity to show up thinking everything is all well and Dandy?!?"
"That's not what's happening! Please just calm down...Your dad-"
"YOU'RE THE REASON HE FELT THE WAY HE DID!! YOU KILLED HIM!"
"..."
My arm was starting to hurt since I was violently clenching my fist when I shouldn't be putting this much exertion on it but my mind was so fixated on one thing, I didn't care..
"So...I'll make this very simple for you. I don't know why you're here, I don't care for how long. You get 2 options here....get the fuck out of my house...or I will.."
My grip tightens around the handle of the kitchen knife as I stare her down. Her head already dropped as her eyes stared dead at her feet.
"Because right now every fiber in my being is begging me to kill you and this feeling is all thanks to you..."
"I have no excuse for what I did Evan...I know how much you hate me and I deserve every bit of it. But please believe me when I say I've come to fix it... I came back for you because I had to. I picked the worst time to come to the realization of how wrong it was for me to do this but it's because I was scared..." Her tears began to show as the drizzle down to the wooden floor.
I said nothing and just stood there, taking this entire breakdown of hers with no mental preparation.
"I failed you as a mother after he died and I was too afraid to live with that...I chose my dignity over my child and left and since that day I've hated myself for it. I knew that some day Sayori and her parents would come around and take you in but...I want to fix this..I want fix what I broke. I want my son back.."
Without wasting a second she would step forward and wrap her arms around me, sobbing into my chest as she tightens her grip but I don't return the hug.
Standing there for a few more minutes I'd throw away the knife and place my hand onto her shoulders and push her off.
"You're about ten years too late.." with that I throw my bag off and head upstairs leaving the others in the hall.
Upon entering my room I would pull out a medium sized back from my closet and quickly begin stuffing my things into it. Clothes, personal belongings like my knife and even pulled out my system.
I then stopped and stared at the lower drawer of my desk. Quickly getting up I'd take out the rope and stuff it into the bag as well and not a moment too soon.
Suddenly the door swings open and in comes Natsuki with a half worried and irritated look,
"What the- what are you doing?!"
"Leaving."
"Evan come on! You heard her and I think she's actually trying to make things better between you guys."
"A murderer will plead innocent 20 times before finally accepting what he's done. It doesn't change anything, I'm not trusting that woman.."
"But-" she sighs and places her hand on her forehead, blocking the door knowing that I'd try to slip by. "Where would you even go?"
"I can crash with one of the guys or anyone, can't stay with Sayori since she's literally next to the house."
"You can...come to my house. Papa wouldn't mind having you over since-"
"I don't want to drag you into this bullshit anymore than I already have. Don't worry about it..."
"Hey! I'm already against you trying to just leave at all when you can literally just stay here and talk with her. Either shut up and come with me or stay."
I stay there and sigh in frustration as I look down at the tiny pink headed girl stare back at me with angry eyes even though I could see her concern right through them.
"Fine..."
"Come on then."
As we exit my room and walk down the hall to the stairs I notice a few suit cases pushed up against the wall in the far end of the hall. So she really is just moving back in..
Walking down the stairs there's no sign of Sayori or mom anywhere when I look around,
"Where'd they go?"
"I think Sayori just took her to her house for the time being."
"Good riddance..."
I say as both of us walk out the door and while making our way to the street I'd keep eyeing at Sayori's window making sure they don't spot us leaving.
"But...aren't you just jumping the gun here..? It's kinda sudden for you to just get up and leave."
"It was sudden for someone who ruined my life to just appear in my house out of nowhere. I doubt you could understand that.."
"I can't but I know when something is going too far..."
"Do you now?" I say that and regret it instantly as Natsuki stayed silent after that and bit her lower lip.
I facepalm and slide my hand off my face, "Sorry...I'm just not in the right mind right now.."
I throw my right arm over her shoulder and pull into a small side hug which she doesn't let go of so I guess it wasn't small anymore.
When we reached her neighbourhood the sky got fairly orange with a light shade of pink in the clouds which I don't get to see often.
When we reached her house, Natsuki would ring the bell rather than just walk in for specific reasons while I just stand behind her like a kid hiding behind his mom, waiting for the door to open and when it did her dad was there sure enough.
"Welcome home pumpki- Oh! Hello Evan.."
"Uh hey..."
"Nice to see you in one peice~" He would say as he crossed his arms and began examining my entire figure.
"Alive and well Sir~"
I guess he noticed my bag as I see his slightly visible smile fade.
"And what brings you here today?" He would say as he stepped aside and let us in anyway.
"He's uhhhh..." Natsuki just stopped in the middle of the hall to try and think of something as I shimmy past her and turn back around.
"What? You didn't think about it when we got this far?"
"Hey why am I supposed to think of something?!" The little tsundere would squeal as I shake my head and head into the living room where her dad followed.
"Ummm..if it's not too much to ask I am in need of a place to stay."
"For how long may I ask?"
"I don't know..." He was quick to catch onto the seriousness in my voice as he stared me and I do the same.
Natsuki who entered the room after us just stood there in confusion as to what we're doing.
Studying the tiniest changes in someone's facial expressions is something people like Natsuki's dad can perfect easily and right now it was like our minds were doing most of the talking until he took off his glasses and spoke.
"Of course, stay as long as you need~" His faint smile returned as I smile back and walk back to Natsuki who sighed in relief but then he called out to us again.
"However there will be new ground rules. For now just now you shall be sleeping here in the spare room or in mine on the mattress, I'm aware of how you kids these days can get but no funny business under my roof."
"Papa-"
"Yes sir."
"Good. Natsuki, please show him the room and help him get settled."
And with that I motion Natsuki to lead on as she walked up the stairs and I follow suit.
When we reach the room and walk in, I'd shut it behind me and then turn to Natsuki immediately.
"You didn't tell him did you?"
"How the hell do you expect someone to tell a parent you had sex on the night of your birthday!?"
"Okay okay! SHHHHHH!!" I say waving my hands at her face trying to shut her up as I toss my bag onto the bed.
"But why say that now?"
"Cus he's already suspecting something and I don't wanna be kicked out just yet."
"Oh come on it's not like we'd do something stupid.....yet."
I froze while unziping my bag and quickly turn back around to look at her.
"What was that~?"
"Nothing, shut up! Here, you're at your room okay bye." Speeding through her words she would bolt out of the room and leave me there.
"This girl..."
She really is a feisty one when set in the mood but as entertaining as that sounds we're not going there for the time being.
Locking the door and quickly changing out of my uniform take my knife out of the bag and slip it into my pocket and as I do I spot the noose inside, I stare at it for a good few seconds before pulling it out and slipping it in between the mattress and the wood of the bed. The bed itself was quite thick so it wouldn't be a bother sleeping on it.
After a few minutes of just sitting there and gathering my thoughts I pull out my phone and send Sayori a text.
Evan: How's it going over there?
Sayo: It's...not looking good. Where are you?
Evan: Staying over at Nat's place for some time. Don't tell her where I am.
Sayo: I won't but Evan, she's been crying non stop since she came over to my house and then fell asleep in the living room right after. Are you sure you weren't too hard on her?
Evan: Sayori all I can ever think of when talking about her is letting out years worth of anger with my own hands. I'm really not mentally ready to face her right now. I just can't..
Sayo: If you say so... Just take care of yourself.
Evan: Will do Bun.
And with that I finally leave the room and head downstairs. Upon entering the living room I see Natsuki and her dad eating what I assume is Chinese food while watching TV.
I look at the nearest window and see it's pitch black outside and then reveal myself to the rest.
"Jeez how long was I up there..?"
"Oh! Finally you're back, I thought you fell asleep or something." Natsuki would say in a teasing tone.
I sit down on one of the side chairs and scratch the back of my head,
"Forgive the mess young man, we weren't exactly expecting guests today."
"It's alright, I came by unannounced..can't blame ya."
As I say that I pull off the straps to my arm rest and pull up my sleeve. I start doing small exercises like clenching my fists and a few bends.
"Ah, you seem to be healing rather quickly~" He'd say as he set down the bento box while Natsuki flipped through the channels.
"Uh huh, just a few more days and it'll be like nothing ever happened~"
For the next few minutes he would just stare at me while Natsuki and I watched TV until his watch started beeping.
"Natsuki~"
"Come on papa it's a fridayyyy~!" She would pout as she started cleaning up the coffee table.
"I just needed to speak with Evan, alone."
Oh fuck.
"Oh...okay." Natsuki gave me that look again and I just waved her off letting her know it's alright and once she left to head upstairs her dad got up from the couch and head into the kitchen.
Only a few seconds later he came back with two brown bottles..
"So that's the kind of talk you wanted..."
He would chuckle as he sat back down and popped open the caps of both and handed me one.
"I should not be encouraging this but it's safe to say you needed a drink~"
"You don't know the half off it.." I'd say as I raise the bottle in cheers as we take a sip.
"But that's what I'd like to know...what exactly happened today for you to leave home?"
I already began trying to distract myself by rotating the bottle in my hands while taking small sips occasionally.
"Well...apparently my mother is back.."
"And? Shouldn't that be great news?"
"I haven't told you the full story about what's happened but just know that she wasn't the best parent either and left me to myself when I was still a kid."
"And that alone made you dislike her?"
"An understatement...I despise her because I blame her for everything, dad's death, my mental state...hell even the crash. It's all happened because of the impact she left me with and now she just decides to come back into my life because she NOW realizes her mistakes?"
There was a few minutes of silence and occasional gulping as he just sat there and rubbed his chin.
"Natsuki was like you a long time ago.." He would say as he pushed up his glasses and stared at the static on the screen.
"When her mother died she believed it was my fault. Granted, your case may be different but your reactions are similar, what I've come to learn from that is a child can never truly hate their parents...nor the other way around in most cases."
"That doesn't exactly work when it's been pretty much half your life time with them. Ever since we moved here it was a regular thing for them to fight and get violent and I was only 5."
"This is all too sudden for you, you're not thinking straight and you have the right to be in such panic but that doesn't mean you keep this one sided. Did she say something to you when you met her?"
"..." I look away and chug the last bits of beer left in the bottle. This tactic of his to get me to spill it is....working...wait what? fuck..
"She...said that she's here to fix everything.."
"And do you believe her?"
"God no.."
"And why is that?"
"What?"
"What makes you think so if you haven't even considered what she may be feeling?"
"..." I'm clenching the bottle for dear life as I try to keep myself calm.
"Like I said, this is something too sudden..it will take time but you cannot just keep away from her. If she's showing regret then the least least you can do is try to listen and understand."
I almost hiccup as I strap my arm rest back on and slowly get up from my seat, taking the empty bottle with me to throw away,
"Whatever you say old man..."
"Pardon me?" His voice got more stern as I walk away and chuckle to myself.
"Must be the beer talking..." I say to myself under my breath as I throw away the bottle and then head upstairs. After brushing my teeth and making my way to my own room I walk past Natsuki's which I see has her door wide open enough for me to take a glance. All I see is her half passed out on her bed outside her covers, her mouth open in a loud snore.
When was she ever this tired to go to sleep in a snap? Oh yeah, every day in the club.
I found myself creepily standing outside her room smiling as I shake my head and enter, slightly nudging her I'd get half the covers from underneath her enough to pull out and throw over her and as I do she suddenly wakes up.
"Hey dummyyyyyyy..." the half asleep girl gave me a goofy smile as I smirk and kneel down beside her, holding her hand.
"Hey princess~"
I keep my voice to a soft whisper as she took a very long and wide yawn before rubbing her eye and stretching inside the covers,
"What...did papa say..?"
"Eh, just some guy to guy stuff."
"Grooossss.."
"Not that kind of stuff..."
"Ehehe~" Through her sleepy laughs I'd get back up before brushing her hair aside to kiss her forehead.
"Get some sleep princess.."
"Mhm...love you.."
Her barely audible voice made me stop in place as I was reaching for the light switch to turn it off before looking back at her.
"Love you too Natsuki..~"
I switch off the light and exit her room, closing the door behind me as I then make my way to my own room. Thank God I brushed before going there otherwise I'd reek of alcohol.
I enter my room and as I close it behind me I slam my back against the door and slide down onto the floor and sigh.
I'm left there clenching a tuff of my hair and staring down at the floor from between my legs as end up breaking down again.
I always end up like this...a pathetic crying mess at the end of the day. In my panic to just leave home I left my medications there so there's that problem...
I'll probably get Sayori to bring them over since it'll be a Saturday. For now I just need to get some sleep and pretend all of this is some bullshit nightmare and that I'll wake up happy again.
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Author's Note:
Ok first of all..WHAT THE HELL?!
1K reads on my first ever fanfic in just a month?! Yall are crazy but I love you.
Now we're at the point in the story where alot can go down in an instant or nothing can happen at all~ What would be the end for Evan's story? He's already achieved one side of his happiness but is that it?
We'll find out next time in what may be the final few chapters of this great adventure~ Stick around and find out~
Peace out!
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