The sun shines obnoxiously through the netted curtains of my bedroom. I know I need to get up but I'm quite happy to just lay here for a couple extra minutes.
Today feels different. I don't know how to explain it but the world around me feels as though it's shifted by the slightest degree. Last night Seven touched me. And I touched him. Things spoken and unspoken were shared between us last night and now we can't go back.
However I've recognised a pattern that happens between us whenever we have moments of closeness. It's always one step forward and three steps back with him. He lets himself get close to me and then regrets it pretty much right after it happens and becomes distant. I've noticed his jealousy is what drives him back to me in those moments of detachment and I don't know how to feel about that. The whole "I don't want you but no one else can have you," kind of thing seems to match a lot to his behaviour.
I'm honestly terrified after last night that he's going to be distant from me again. I don't know how I'll deal with it if he does, the guy saw me topless for gods sake.
I know he's not use to something like this, he doesn't seem to care much for the people around him - for anyone really, not even his uncle Victor - so I can understand if he's maybe struggling to understand his own feelings and the situation. And I know what we're doing is against the rules for him which also might be causing him to second guess things.
I don't even know what I want out of this situation with him. It's not like we can be together even if we wanted to. I work at the club and it's not allowed for us to be together but also Seven's requirements for his position within their organisation prohibits him from even getting close to someone.
The stupid, naive part of me is hopeful though. She daydreams about kissing Seven, going on dates with him, holding his hand. While the other, more logical and instinctively protective part of me has every alarm in the building going off. Seven and his situation alone are a big red flag that I should be staying clear of. I still don't understand enough about the work he does with his uncle, I don't know much about Seven's life outside of the club at all. I don't really even know Seven.
"Ugh." I grab my pillow and throw it over my head. I wish shit wasn't so complicated. I wish I met Seven under more amicable circumstances. Bumping into him in a coffee shop, or having a class together at university. Things would be much easier and less complicated. I could get to know him as the person he is and I wouldn't be second guessing if my interest in him was solely based on fleeting attraction.
A banging on my apartment door has me springing up out of bed in one swift movement. Who the fuck is banging on my door at ten in the morning on a Friday? There's another loud banging on my door and it makes me jump. It sounds more as if someone is kicking at my door and my heart rate spikes slightly. I walk cautiously to the door, waiting for another round of loud knocks. It's times like this I wish I had a peep hole, instead I press my ear to the door to see if I can hear anything on the other side that might give me some clue as to who is trying to kick in my door and why.
My head is against the door when the next round of loud bangs crash against it. It's definitely someone kicking my door.
"Who is it?" I call out from the door.
"It's me bitch hurry up and open the door!" Mesha's voice speaks from the other side and I suspire in relief and unlock the door.
"Oh my god you scared the shit out of me." I tell her as she carries in two large take away coffees in her hands. Now I understand why she was kicking the door instead of knocking.
"Sorry I knew you'd still be asleep so I wanted to be loud." Mesha gives me an apologetic bright smile showing her teeth and hands me one of the large hot drinks.
"I didn't know you were back I thought you were staying the whole week with your grandparents." I take the coffee from her and give Mesha a hug in greeting.
"I was meant to but then I got a call for a job tomorrow night so I came back last night. Honestly I'm glad to be out of there, I'm so glad I left that small town - my god." She huffs and smooths the curly hair at her temple that's jelled in a tight ponytail.
"You came all the way back here for a job?" I ask her sipping my coffee. Oh my god it's so good. Mesha always picks the best coffee places.
Mesha smirks at me, her eyes dancing with clear excitement and I take the bait.
"What?" I ask her.
"It's not just any job. Remember that banker guy I told you about when we first met?" She asks and I think for a moment before I click.
"Oh my god it's a job with the guy you slept with?!" I ask her as we settle on my small sofa to talk.
"Mmhmm!" Mesha beams.
"I've seen him two other times after we got together that once and he always requests to see me whenever he's in the city for work. I'm actually so excited. Last time he took me shopping literally all day, and then we went out on this massive yacht for dinner and just talked for hours. So I'm really excited to see what this time round brings." Mesha fizzes in her seat on the sofa.
"Oh wow that sounds amazing! Do you think you'll sleep with him again?" I ask her. I always find Mesha's work stories riveting. Especially when we end up googling some of them and find out their crazy business profiles and net worths.
"No." Mesha answers quickly.
"Well maybe." She back tracks straight after and we both laugh.
"So when do you see him? Has he told you what you're going to do this time?" I ask her.
"I meet him tomorrow night at Belleknowes Hotel." She smiles and my mouth drops.
"Belleknowes? That's a fucking crazy expensive hotel." I hush and she nods.
"He's booked a suite there." Mesha humbly brags.
"Fuck so he's like rich rich." I smile and she nods.
"Anyway, what about you? How've things been at the club?" Mesha changes the subject.
Where the fuck do I even start.
"Good." I say simply and nod.
"Just good?" Mesha questions suspiciously.
"Yeah I mean, I'm getting along a lot better with the other girls. Except one, her names Destiny and she likes to act like she's better than everyone because she gives Seven lap dances." I roll my eyes.
"Ugh, she's probably fucking him." Mesha says disgustedly. Her comment stings in my chest immediately. Oh god, I hadn't even thought about that. Maybe they are? Is that why he's so comfortable to openly get dances from her? See this is exactly what I mean when I say I don't know Seven. He could already be fucking Destiny for all I know.
"You okay?" Mesha asks looking at me and I relax my face. I hadn't even realised it was twisted in repugnance at the thought of Seven and Destiny.
"Yeah, I'm good." I assure her. A part of me wants to tell Mesha about what happened between Seven and I last night but I feel like I can't explain one part without explaining all the parts.
"You working tonight?" Mesha asks and I nod and sip my coffee.
Mesha takes me out for brunch after I shower and get dressed for the day. We drive around in her Mini Cooper and she puts the roof down since it's a nice day. She turns the music in the car up louder and we yell the lyrics to songs out into the air as we drive. I'm slightly conscious of a black sedan that seems to be traveling the exact same route as us a couple cars down. I don't think too much of it till I see another black sedan parked over the road outside the restaurant when we're eating. Damn they seem to be popular or I'm just going slightly crazy. I'm not sure if it's the same car that I noticed following behind us so I don't mention it to Mesha in case I'm just being weird.
Mesha hangs with me for the rest of the day, she flips through the magazines at the liquor store while I work my afternoon shift there. And tells me I need to stop working there just off the bases that the uniform is a crime against the colour green, to which I laughed heavily. It is a pretty awful green apron. Mesha gossips to me about the people back in her home town she bumped into while visiting her grandparents and before I know it Jeremy arrives to take over from my shift. One of Mesha's many talents is making my boring shifts here pass in record timing.
I touch up my make up in the liquor store bathrooms and double check that I've brought along an outfit to change into once I'm at the club. I've packed a black lace corset and matching thong. It's not a full on g-string but it shows a lot more of my bum than normal nickers.
I get a ride to Club Venus with Mesha, she drops me round the back of the club and tells me to text her when I need a ride home. I breathe out the slight hysteria flipping my stomach when I see the large SUV parked to the side of the building, and make my way inside.
"Hey! You ready for your first busy night as a server?" Kitty smiles at me as I enter the dressing room.
"As ready as I'll ever be I guess." I shrug and dig into my bag.
"Here, I brought back your things. I already washed them at home." I tell her and hand back her underwear and bra I borrowed last night.
"Oh thanks!" Kitty grabs the clothes and shoves them into her locker.
"There's a free locker just down there if ya wanna use it." Kitty points to an empty open locker across from hers.
"Cool." I put my belongings in it before grabbing out my outfit for tonight.
I glance around at the other girls in here who are changing and fixing their make up before their shifts. I guess I just strip down here? I pull my jeans down my legs and quickly change the underwear I'm wearing for the thong.
"I've got some shots if ya want one?" Kitty calls over to me.
"It's always helpful to start the big nights a little more relaxed and loose." She laughs and I nod in agreement.
"Sure just one, let me get changed first." I get into the corset top, and instantly regret choosing this one. It practically pushes my cleavage up to my neck and I don't remember the bust being so small. Maybe my boobs have grown since I last wore it.
"Sheesh, I like your top. Very nice!" Kitty complements when I turn around, causing my cheeks to blush.
"Looking very nice Miss Cashmere." I turn to see Penny walking past us as she heads out to start her shift and I smile at her.
"Cashmere?" Kitty questions me, handing me a pre packed shot and I peel the foil off the top of it.
"Penny helped me come up with a work name last night." I shrug before tipping my head back to down the shot. The liquor burns my throat and I grunt to try ease the scorching in my belly.
"Mm I like it. Cashmere." Kitty nods approvingly.
"It sounds fancy, like you." She concludes before downing her own shot.
"Ugh." Kitty's nose scrunches at the burn.
"I wish that got easier but it doesn't." She shakes her head and I laugh.
When we get out on to the floor the club is packed as it's a Friday night. I grab my tray from the bar with Kitty. One of the guys who usually stands guard about the place has taken up residence as the new bartender since Victor promoted me.
I get to work making my way around the tables, taking down drink orders and making mindless small talk with half drunk men. They only really talk about a few things, themselves or my body. That seems to be the standard conversational exchange that happens between me and customers. I'll ask them what they want to drink, but they'll proceed to tell me about the hard day they just had at work, or about how I remind them of someone, or they just straight up ask for a lap dance. To which I've come to learn to deflect expertly and turn their attention to whoever is on the stage. That usually tends to work for me getting out of the dance requests. I stay polite, even though sometimes I just want to deck some of them for the degrading way they speak to me and the other girls. But biting my tongue and smiling sweetly collects the higher tips and I graciously take their money while imagining myself punching their face in.
I haven't seen Seven around yet. I saw Curby near the basement entrance before so I assume Seven must be down there again. That or he's off fucking Destiny somewhere, my conscious throws in to be a bitch.
Seven's been down in the basement a lot the last few days, I wonder if that man I saw is still down there. Surely not though, it's been a week. Maybe someone else is down there now? Maybe there isn't even anyone down there and he's just using that space for other related reasons for his work. I hope he's not down there beating another person up.
As if the universe wanted to answer for me, my eyes catch a movement at the basement door. The door opens and Seven steps through into the club, a white tea towel in his hands as he wipes it over his knuckles. A large suited man walks next to him, handing him his rings and I get a sense of déjà vu.
Seven places his rings back on his fingers and makes his way over to the private area, throwing the towel at the muscled man before he sits down. His face is set in a hard frown and I can feel the anger rolling off of him from here. I glance around at the other servers, none of them have serviced anyone in the private area yet. I make a bold decision as I let my feet walk me over to the area.
I go to one of the other tables first, asking the two men there if they'd like a drink and they decline before I walk over to Seven sitting at a table with the large man he walked out the basement with as well as two others. One of them is the man with the large scar on his face who walked me to my car once.
"Can I get you guys anything to drink?" I ask, feeling Seven's gaze on me but I keep my focus on the other men for now.
"A round of beers for us please sweet thing." The man with the scar smiles, he still scares me.
"Sure." I return his smile politely. Before turning to Seven.
"Would you like a water?" I ask him and his lip twitches up ever so slightly, I doubt anyone else noticed it.
"I'll grab a Jameson. No ice. Please." He says, his eye contact is very dominant and I force my eyes to glance at the floor to break it.
"Shit must be serious if you're drinking." One of the men tries to joke and Seven shoots him a glare to silence him.
"It's just the one drink. Like I said I've got this under control." Seven grunts back at him.
I don't understand anything they're talking about and decide it's probably my cue to leave them be.
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