thank you all so so so much for 10K reads wtf!!! thats so insane... i love yall
enjoy guys :)
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When Taylor's plane landed at the private tarmac in New York, she slipped into the back of the SUV and collapsed against Tree's shoulder.
"I'm exhausted," she sighed, closing her eyes.
"I told you to sleep on the plane," the publicist said dryly, typing on her phone. "Were you drinking?"
"I had a glass of wine to try and sleep," Taylor explained with a light shrug, finally sitting up straight as the car started moving once the luggage was loaded in the back. "Didn't work."
"Well, we can't skip this meeting," Tree told her with a hint of sympathy in her voice.
Taylor groaned, leaning her forehead against the cool window. "Do we really have to go?" She said in a soft voice.
"You mean the meeting we postponed three times and changed its location because one, you were all the way across the world petting Kangaroos and following your boyfriend around, and two, you insisted on returning directly to New York?" Tree countered, taking off her glasses and giving Taylor a pointed look. "Uh, yeah. I think we really need to go."
Taylor took in a shaky breath and closed her eyes, folding her arms over her chest in a defensive manner. "I really don't wanna face the real world yet."
Tree's hand fell over the younger girl's shoulder and gave it a comforting squeeze. "I know. But we need to discuss our next move if you do wanna continue to have a career when things die down."
Taylor clicked her tongue, her frustration only growing. "Things will die down, and I'll still be dead to everyone either way. They don't want me out there anymore," she chuckled bitterly, feeling a lump form in her throat for the billionth time that week. "Whatever else I do won't matter."
Taylor could practically hear all the words Tree wanted to say and didn't, because it all would have been false reassurance. Neither one of them knew what the future truly held for her career, but they could only hope for the best.
Well, Tree could.
All Taylor could see was her whole life slipping between her fingers, as hard as she had tried to hold on. There was no point anymore.
"Do you wanna stop by your place first and freshen up?" Tree asked as they finally left the airport and the driver pulled up on the highway. Taylor nodded dully.
"You could just say that I look like a mess," Taylor mumbled dryly which made the redhead chuckle and shake her head at the singer.
When Taylor got home, she pouted at how empty it felt with her cats still at her mother's house. As she showered, she couldn't even get herself to connect her phone to the Bluetooth speakers. Even the saddest of songs was too cheery for her current mood.
She left her hair to air-dry and slipped on a simple white blouse and a pair of dark jeans before heading back downstairs to the car, a pair of sunglasses covering her face. The paparazzi had caught on to her arrival back in New York and getting away from them was a difficult task, to say the least.
The only thing that kept her from crying in the car was the make-up she had just applied as a poor attempt at trying to look less ghostly. But when she sat at the round table in the meeting room with her managing team, only her father present with her mother still recovering from her treatments, she felt all eyes watching her with concern, and maybe even pity and she hated it. She was glaring at the glass of water someone had placed in front of her during the whole meeting, even when her father placed a gentle hand over hers, trying to comfort her. It didn't help.
She couldn't really focus on anything anyone was saying.
Plans for the next album? Probably postponed.
Any future official public appearances? All cancelled except for one particular show, which frankly she did not even fight and was glad for it. It was probably for the best, given the fact that she really had no energy to fake smiles to any of her friends, let alone the whole world.
How are we going to fight this?
"We're not going to," Taylor mumbled, having finally truly zoned in on the conversation.
Everyone looked at her like she had grown a second head. "Taylor, I understand how... disheartening this might be—"
"No, it's not disheartening, it's fucking devastating. I don't want to fight this. I don't wanna plan some big thing so that maybe a bunch of random people online might go back to thinking of me as this nice little girl from Nashville who makes country music. I don't want to have to prove myself to people. It doesn't matter anymore. And the more thought I put into this whole thing, the harder it is for me to climb out of this personal hell-hole," Taylor interrupted, her tone curt, throwing a thousand daggers at the people who really didn't deserve it.
But she was exhausted, and she was heartbroken, and she just really wanted to have a glass of whiskey and go to bed early.
"I need a break," she finally muttered, dropping her gaze back to her hands in her lap.
"We can take five—" one of the managers began when Tree cut him off.
"I think she meant from work," The redhead spoke quietly, but clearly enough that everyone heard her.
"What do you want to do, honey?" Scott asked, turning to look at his daughter with sadness in his eyes.
"I just want to disappear for a while," she chuckled dryly.
"We can do that," Scott reassured her, giving her hand a pat.
"Really?" Taylor laughed in disbelief. "You're not going to make me follow the very important, super inflexible schedule, that's been booked two years in advance?"
"Of course, we can't cancel things—"
Taylor was already rolling her eyes, knowing it was impossible anyway. Tree was already cutting off whoever that was though and Taylor wanted to squish her in a tight hug which she didn't have the energy for.
"Yes, we can. We'll cancel all unimportant events coming up unless you specifically want to go—"
"I don't," Taylor snapped. She was not going to go to the VMAs. And besides, after everything that happened, she was not going to win anything.
She didn't care anymore.
"Okay, and we don't need to start working on the new album immediately," Tree told her and Taylor smiled at her, relieved that she wasn't going to fight her on this for once.
Did she really look that on the verge of breaking down? She felt like it...
"We've never gone this long without releasing something," Frank started. "It's too risky."
"No, maybe they're right," Scott said. "It's too risky to do anything now and have it fail."
"I'm not going to write a grammy-worthy album any time soon, trust me on that," Taylor grumbled, already tired of this conversation.
Just before they parted ways, her father pressed a kiss on her forehead and made sure she was doing okay about three times before finally getting in his car, promising to bring over her children (cats) the following morning with Andrea. Taylor's driver dropped her off back at her apartment later that afternoon and she flopped down on her couch, still in her clothes, and refused to move for a good thirty minutes.
Until she couldn't make the voices in her head shut up.
She found her way over to the liquor cabinet, pulled out a new bottle of whiskey and poured some into a tumbler over a couple of ice cubes. She shuffled over to her piano in the living room and set her drink down on a coaster on the small, flat surface at the end of the upright instrument's keyboard. (She might have been depressed but she wasn't an uncivilised caveman! She wasn't about to ruin one of her most prized possessions by being too careless.)
Her fingers found their way to a familiar tune she always played as soon as she touched a piano for the first time, warming up her muscles. She played a few scales up and down the tiles, hoping some inspiration might hit, but nothing did.
So, she reverted to some old songs she knew off the top of her head. Some Paul McCartney and Beatles classics, a tune she thought might have been written by Carole King, and even one of her own older songs.
Building on the simple chords she had played so many times before, she started humming under her breath. With a little raised eyebrow, she continued humming along when she remembered an older song of hers.
As true as it was that she was nowhere near ready to put out an album or even start planning one, it didn't mean she wasn't still a musician. Frankly, it was the one thing that still made any sense to her, and it was the only thing she could still trust in this world. Her music would never betray her. It was the only thing keeping her sane this past year.
She changed up the tune just a bit, playing full chords with her left hand while she took a slow sip from her drink with her right.
"I know the bravest thing I ever did was run..."
Taylor hesitated, placing her almost empty glass back on the coaster, using both hands again.
"Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can...feel you again,
But I just— But I just miss you— Nope."
With a huff, she got up and slid the lid over the black and white tiles to avoid any temptations to get back to whatever the hell that was. That song should have stayed in 2012. She swallowed the rest of her whiskey and walked back to her couch, phone in hand.
Her finger hovered over the two last names in her recent calls.
Tom Hiddleston
iPhone 10:32 a.m.
Kibbles 💙
iPhone yesterday
Tom was probably busy anyway.
She tapped on Kaia's name and held the phone up to her ear, listening to it ring, once, twice...
She half expected Kaia to ignore the call, even though she was consistently responding this past week; though Taylor did try to call less and less. She felt a bit too much... she would not have been surprised if Kaia was annoyed every time her name appeared on the actress's phone.
"Alo?"
Taylor snickered, leaning her chin over her knees. "Alo, to you too," she responded and she knew for a fact that Kaia was rolling her eyes.
"Do not mock, blondie," Kaia muttered, her voice coming out in huffs and puffs.
"What does it even mean?" Taylor laughed amusedly.
"Just— hello, I guess?" Kaia grunted, her words curt.
Taylor scrunched her nose, ruffling her hair. Kaia didn't seem to be in the mood to talk. Or she was just really fed up with Taylor; she couldn't blame her.
"Is it French?"
"I guess so," Kaia breathed out.
"I— are you okay?" Taylor murmured, feeling her heart sink a little.
"What? Oh! Yeah, I'm running up a set of stairs and— holy fuck, is that a dead rat? God, the Tube in New York is so much worse than in London."
"Oh— Kaia, you're insane," Taylor chuckled, letting out a sigh of relief.
"Yep, insanely healthy!" She shot back, making Taylor grimace.
"That's lame," she teased.
"At least I can do a push-up," Kaia huffed, the noises around her getting farther and farther. "Are you okay? Wait, are you back in New York?"
"Yeah, I landed this afternoon," Taylor confirmed, pulling at a loose thread in the rip of her jeans at her knee.
"Oh, cool! Lovely," Kaia breathed out, her shoes scratching against the pavement audible even to Taylor as she kept running. "I'll be here until... the uhm, I think... the end of the month. How's your schedule?"
Taylor actually managed to smile as she remembered just how free her schedule was now. "Pretty empty."
"You?" Kaia chuckled in disbelief. "No way."
"Yes, way."
"So, if I were free, say, tomorrow, we could hang out?" Kaia asked, the slap of her shoes against the concrete ground slowing down.
"Yes, we can, actually. If you want to," Taylor replied, her smile widening. "Do you want to?"
"I'm having lunch with my family, but you could tag along! If you are free, that is."
"I am free! But—"
"Ah! See? There's a but," Kaia laughed, her breathing slowly becoming steadier.
"There's always a butt," Taylor deadpanned making Kaia burst out laughing.
"Mhm, yeah, I've noticed," Kaia giggled, and Taylor was glad this was just a phone call so Kaia couldn't see her blushing profusely. "What's the catch? You have meetings or something?"
"I really don't," Taylor laughed softly. "I was hoping you'd be able to pass by tonight? But I understand if you're too tired and probably wanna go home and—"
"No, I could probably pass by," Kaia mused. "I think I'm not too far, actually. You're in TriBeCa, right?"
"Yeah, but you really don't have to," Taylor insisted. She really didn't want to sound desperate and lonely. But truth be told, she was, and she really didn't want to be alone. "I'm just missing Olivia and Meredith."
"According to google maps, I'm twelve minutes away," Kaia announced. "I could be there in five, probably."
Taylor bit down on her bottom lip for a moment before grinning. "Would that make you sweatier?"
"Possibly," Kaia chuckled. "Can I use your shower?"
"You're gonna have to, sweaty," Taylor joked, getting up to pour herself a second glass of whiskey.
"Oof, I could just turn around and go back home—"
"Please don't!" Taylor interrupted her immediately, and then, in a small voice she added, "I really don't wanna be alone tonight."
Kaia was quiet for a second before responding. "Don't worry, I'm on my way. Do you need me to bring anything with me?"
Taylor shook her head until she realised the girl couldn't see her. "That's okay, just get here, okay?"
"Okay," Kaia reassured her softly.
"Just ring on the last floor on the intercom. Greg'll let you in," Taylor explained briefly.
"Gotcha! I'll be there soon, Tay," Kaia promised before hanging up.
Kaia wasn't there in about five minutes, as promised, but twenty instead. When Taylor opened the front door, she found the brunette standing there with a pink cardboard box in her hands.
She grinned cheekily at the blonde, a single dimple appearing on her left cheek.
"I told you not to get anything!" Taylor exclaimed as soon as Kaia handed her the box, wondering what was inside. It was kind of warm.
"I really wanted brownies! They're amazing," Kaia explained casually with a little laugh. Taylor smiled wider, setting the box down on the table by the door.
"Come here," Taylor said, opening her arms wide.
"Oh, no— Tay, I'm really sticky and sweaty and— you're hugging me anyway," Kaia sighed heavily, patting Taylor's back awkwardly, making the blonde laugh. "Do I smell bad?"
Taylor pulled away and wrinkled her nose playfully at Kaia. "Hm, not worse than usual," she teased. The younger girl stuck her tongue out at Taylor, pushing the door closed behind her. "I'm kidding! You actually smell like vanilla."
"The magic that is perfume!" Kaia announced with a little grin.
She kicked off her neon running shoes by the front door, revealing her Slytherin themed ankle socks. Taylor had a hard time covering up her snort with a fake cough which Kaia definitely noticed.
"At least I'm not still wearing shoes after— how long have you been home?" Kaia shot back, her eyes wandering around the large New York apartment, taking in every small detail.
"Since like six o'clock," Taylor replied, scratching the back of her head.
"It's almost ten," Kaia pointed out, walking deeper into the house. With a little cough, Taylor stepped out of her sneakers and followed Kaia into the living room that the foyer opened into.
As Kaia walked in front of her, Taylor couldn't stop her eyes from wandering from her ankles and up her long, toned legs, clad in a pair of olive coloured running shorts, matching it with a simple black t-shirt.
"Okay, I know you said I don't stink, but I actually feel icky and I'd really like to change my clothes?"
"Oh, sure! Come on, I'll show you where the bathroom is," Taylor said, leading the way up a set of stairs and down a long corridor. "I'll get you something comfortable to wear if you'd like."
"No worries, I've got an extra set of clothes with me," Kaia replied, patting her backpack twice.
"You're always prepared for everything," Taylor chuckled, opening a door and turning on the lights inside, revealing a large bathroom, with both a shower and a tub.
"I just came back from my parents' house actually," Kaia explained, pulling out her clothes to lay them neatly on the counter by the sink. "I was going to run my way back home but then you called, had to detour a little."
"You're insane for running this late at night, you know that?" Taylor laughed, shaking her head at Kaia. She crouched down to open the cupboard under the sink and pulled out a large, white towel and a fully equipped toiletry bag.
"I couldn't do it in the morning, I overslept!" Kaia defended herself like that changed anything.
"Postpone it for a day?" Taylor laughed, setting down the items on the counter next to Kaia's clothes.
"Nu-uh," Kaia shook her head. "You know how heavy the costumes are on a period-drama show? I need to stay in shape!"
Taylor giggled softly, stepping out into the hall and leaving Kaia some room to make herself comfortable in the guest bathroom. "I'll leave you to it, then. Do you want anything to drink or eat or something?" Taylor asked and Kaia just shook her head.
"Nah, I'm all set," she smiled, leaning against the door. "We'll have those brownies when I'm done."
"Don't drown in there!" Taylor warned in a singsong voice while walking back down the hallway and Kaia closed the door in her face.
The singer waited downstairs on the couch, playing a game of Words with Friends with a random stranger, still nursing her second glass of whiskey of the night.
About fifteen minutes later, Kaia came back downstairs with her backpack and the brownies which she set on the coffee table, now dressed in a pair of powder blue sweat-shorts and an oversized black t-shirt, the sleeves cuffed twice at the shoulders.
Taylor smiled up at her, turning her phone off as the younger girl flopped down on the couch next to her, making herself comfortable with her legs crossed under her.
"God, I really needed that," Kaia said, leaning her head against the soft pillows.
"Glad I could be of service," Taylor chuckled, imitating Kaia's pose.
Taylor watched as Kaia stared at her for a few minutes intently. "You have your tipsy look on," Kaia pointed out with a small grin.
"Pft, I'm fine," Taylor replied, waving her hand in the air to dismiss that statement. "I only had like two, watered-down drinks tonight, and I'm not even done with the second one!"
Kaia shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm just observing," she said quietly. "Have you had dinner yet?"
Taylor shook her head. "Not yet. I wasn't really hungry before. Do you wanna eat anything?"
Kaia pouted, sitting up straight this time. "Did you have a big lunch?" She asked, completely ignoring Taylor's question.
"I had some food on the plane," Taylor told her, her face still squished into the couch pillows. It was just a pack of Oreos, but they were really good!
"Tay," Kaia said, a real frown settling on her face. "When did you last have a proper meal?"
Taylor was a little embarrassed to admit that she couldn't remember.
"Right before I left Australia," she finally said. "Tom and I went out to this Italian place."
"Taylor, that was like pretty much over a day ago," Kaia remarked, a little edge in her tone. It made Taylor shift in her seat.
"I guess, I just didn't really notice, what with the time changes and the jetlag," Taylor responded dryly, looking down at her nails and picking at the red varnish on her thumb that was already chipping.
Kaia was quiet for a very long time, the air in the room shifting to a much heavier one. Eventually, the brunette got up and stood towering over Taylor, holding one hand out to her.
"What?" Taylor asked hesitantly, eyeing Kaia's hand carefully.
"Come on, I'm going to make us something to eat," she said softly, wiggling her fingers in Taylor's face. "I haven't really had dinner either," she continued. "Where's your kitchen?"
Taylor glanced at her hand again before finally lacing their fingers together and getting up, leading the way to the kitchen. She leaned against the counter, watching Kaia closely as she looked around for a moment, trying to get to know the room better.
"What are you in the mood for?" Kaia asked, opening up a pantry closet without even asking, making herself right at home. Taylor honestly didn't mind. "What do you even have in here?"
"Not much," Taylor chuckled. "I need to send someone to get me groceries."
Kaia raised her eyebrows, a bright glint in her blue eyes. "We can go grocery shopping."
"So you can turn me into an evil little healthy-eating minion of yours and convince me to buy healthy shit?" Taylor shot back, a hint of an amused smile brushing over her face. "Thanks, but I'll pass."
"Hm, it was worth a try," Kaia laughed, pulling out a packet of spaghetti noodles.
"Besides, I don't really feel like going out in public," Taylor muttered, clearing her throat, as she leaned her elbows over the kitchen island. "The paps haven't left this street, if you didn't notice."
"Yeah, that was a little too much," Kaia nodded, attempting to reach the unopened jar of tomato paste she found on the very top shelf. Kaia stood tall at a whopping 5'7, the singer still had to walk over and reach up to grab it for her.
"Tell me about it," Taylor huffed, handing the jar over to Kaia who simply set it down next to the pasta.
"Mhm, they really can be assholes sometimes," Kaia hummed, moving over to the fridge to see what other ingredients she could grab.
"Yep," Taylor sighed, pulling her weight up and onto the counter, her feet dangling in the air.
Kaia crouched down to make sure the tomatoes were still useable. "Do you like spicy food?"
"To some extent," Taylor told her, her interest peaking. Up until that point, she just assumed Kaia was going to go with a simple marinara sauce.
"Good, this recipe would not have worked without some sort of chilli."
After gathering up all the ingredients she could make use of on the counter, Kaia rummaged through the cupboards until she found two pots. Taylor let her go around the kitchen like it was hers; it wasn't like she had made any good use of it recently. She watched as the younger girl filled one up with water and left it on the electric stove to boil before returning to the vegetables, cutting them up into small pieces.
Kaia was happy to work silently while Taylor watched her curiously, watching her every move.
"Do you like to cook, usually?" Taylor asked, walking over to the kitchen island to grab her phone and let it connect to the Bluetooth sound system in the apartment.
"I've got to eat, don't I?" Kaia chuckled, not bothering to turn around as she waited for the onions to turn translucent.
"Sure, but you seem to enjoy it," Taylor observed, going through her playlists but finally deciding on a James Taylor compilation album. She hit the shuffle button and the soft acoustic guitar of Fire and Rain started playing quietly around the house.
"I do," Kaia confirmed, adding the tomato paste to her concoction. She moved to the second pot where the salted water was finally boiling and dropped in the entire bag of spaghetti. "You don't usually cook for yourself?"
"Sometimes," Taylor said, leaning against the counter beside her. "I prefer baking though. I'm always trying out new recipes for cookies and such."
"My mum would love you," Kaia laughed, using a large wooden spoon to stir the sauce she had made as it started to boil.
Humming quietly to the tune of James Taylor's Carolina in My Mind, Kaia grabbed a tablespoon and dipped it in the sauce before bringing it up to her mouth and trying it. She brought another spoon over to Taylor, holding her hand under it to avoid spilling any of it on the floor.
"More chilli flakes?" Kaia asked as Taylor opened her mouth to taste it. It was already pretty spicy so she licked her lips and shook her head.
"Nope. Definitely not. I'd be spending the night on the toilet," Taylor laughed as Kaia rolled her eyes teasingly and returned to her cooking.
Kaia had her back turned to Taylor for the whole length of the rest of the song, and Taylor didn't mind, spending the time admiring the younger girl. But when Kaia turned around to drain the pasta in a colander, she noticed the blonde staring; she remained quiet though, leaving the noodles in the strainer to cool and pushing herself up into a sitting position on the marble counter. She motioned for Taylor to come closer, pouting at the singer who had a faraway look in her eyes.
Kaia opened her arms wide, inviting Taylor in for a hug which she couldn't refuse. She nuzzled herself into Kaia's side as she engulfed her in a warm hug, running her hand up and down Taylor's shoulders comfortingly.
It was the proper hug she had meant to go for earlier when Kaia had arrived. The one she really needed, and frankly had been craving. Immediately, she felt herself relax and let out a heavy sigh.
"What's going on in that head of yours, hmm?" Kaia murmured, leaning her cheek over Taylor's head.
Taylor shrugged, nuzzling her face deeper into Kaia's shoulder. "I'm just really tired," she mumbled, rubbing her cheek with her hand.
"Of course you're gonna be tired if you're going this long without proper meals," Kaia said, poking Taylor's side and making her squirm, but not out of the actress's embrace. Taylor needed this more than anything at that moment.
"No, it's not just physical..." She said, struggling to explain her feelings and letting out a frustrated huff. "I'm just so exhausted, mentally and emotionally and physically and I just really don't wanna have to deal with anything for a really long time."
Kaia pulled Taylor in closer, rubbing her back in slow circles. "You don't have to," she murmured softly, her mouth just above Taylor's ear. "You need to take care of yourself. Mentally and physically."
Taylor tried to hide in Kaia's shoulder, like a shy toddler. "I know," she replied, her voice muffled. "I'm taking a break from everything, anyway."
"Good." To Taylor's surprise, Kaia's lips brushed over her temple in a comforting kiss before finally pulling away to check on the sauce that had started to thicken. Taylor gave her some space to work, watching curiously and wondering what the hell that meant. Just a few weeks ago Kaia was pretty clear in that she definitely did not want any of this. It was a little bit confusing.
Taylor blamed it on the whiskey and her vulnerable state.
"Did you like it?" Kaia asked, hovering over the pot. "Does it need anything? Maybe salt."
"I thought it tasted great," Taylor told her but Kaia went to add some salt anyway. "Do you just eyeball everything?"
"Only way to get things right," Kaia turned to grin at her sheepishly before turning the stove off. "Dinner is ready!"
Taylor helped her get some bowls for them and scoop in some spaghetti, some sauce, and grated parmesan cheese on top. They went back to the living room where they sat on the sofa side by side and munched on their late dinner.
"This really tastes amazing," Taylor complimented Kaia's cooking with a mouthful, "I'm gonna need the recipe."
"Never! It's mum's secret recipe!" Kaia shook her head, twirling some noodles onto her fork.
"Then you'll just have to come over and make this for me more often," Taylor decided, looking down at her food. She was aware of Kaia turning around to look at her but didn't dare look up and meet her gaze.
"I guess I'll just have to," she mumbled back.
"Do you wanna watch something?" Taylor asked in between bites, to which Kaia shrugged, slurped some more noodles, and got some sauce all over her chin.
Taylor let out a small laugh, reaching over to the coffee table to grab a tissue paper and dab it over Kaia's face. "You eat like a three-year-old."
"If it wasn't so unsanitary, I'd use my hands," Kaia said jokingly, grinning crookedly at the older girl.
"I don't doubt that," Taylor laughed some more, smiling fondly at the brunette and grabbing the remote from the table. "Anything, in particular, you'd like to watch?"
Kaia shrugged once again. "Anything you want, I'm not picky." Taylor just nodded, switching to her Netflix account. She was about to type in Friends when Kaia stopped her, placing her hand over Taylor's arm. "Oh! New Girl!"
"You wanna watch New Girl?" Taylor asked with a raised eyebrow, moving the cursor to the TV show in question that had been suggested by Netflix.
When Kaia smirked at Taylor over a forkful of spaghetti, the blonde knew exactly what she was going to ask, dreading the question before having even heard it.
"Can we, pretty please, watch the episode you were in?" Kaia gave Taylor her brightest smile and softest eyes and it was really, really hard trying to say no to that face, especially when those damn dimples were staring her right in the face.
"No," Taylor said, no real firmness in her voice. In fact, she sounded a little hesitant. Kaia knew exactly what she was doing with those eyes of hers and it seemed to be working.
"Please!" Kaia's eyes somehow turned even rounder. "It's a funny episode!"
"How about we watch an episode of The Lady in Waiting instead?" Taylor shot back, smirking at Kaia whose eyes slowly started to narrow threateningly.
"No, you can see my arse on full display in the first episode," Kaia grumbled, shoving a forkful of spaghetti in her mouth.
Taylor's smirk widened, her gaze turning to her own bowl as she twirled around some noodles with her fork. "I know," she mumbled, admitting to having watched it already. In fact, she had watched the entire first season in one sitting, the same week she had coincidentally met Kaia. She definitely did not stalk Kaia on social media and checked out her entire filmography. Definitely not.
Taylor could feel her cheeks turning red, but she didn't have enough time to feel too embarrassed when Kaia started choking on her food next to her.
"Oh, fuck, are you okay?" Taylor cried out, setting her bowl on the coffee table before standing up to check on Kaia who fell onto a coughing fit.
Kaia nodded, throwing up her thumb, and attempted to respond but no words came out. Her nod instantly turned into a shake of her head as Taylor gave her back a few pats on the back.
"I'm— fine," Kaia croaked out, slamming her first against her chest.
"I'm gonna get you some water," Taylor told her, running to the kitchen and filling a glass up as fast as her feet allowed her before sliding back to the living room in a panic.
Kaia's coughing had stopped, but her eyes were brimmed red and she was still trying to clear her throat.
"Thanks," Kaia managed to breathe out, taking a small and careful sip of the water.
"Don't die on me just yet," Taylor offered a small smile, sitting back down on the couch with her legs tucked under her. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Kaia chuckled, setting the empty cup on the table. "Like you said, I eat like a three-year-old."
Taylor laughed softly, grabbing her food once again. "I'll tell you what. We're not gonna watch the episode I'm in but we can watch the Gave me cookie, got you cookie, episode!"
Kaia chuckled, turning to give Taylor a half-smile. "And you know what? If we end up binging the whole season, we'll get to the episode you're in."
"Or, we can simply just turn the TV off," Taylor huffed and pointed the remote at the television.
"No— hey, you just almost killed me! You owe me this much," Kaia fought back, her voice still a little scratchy from her earlier choking.
"What? I didn't do— oh..."
Taylor cut herself off, finally realising that it was actually her comment that had turned Kaia into the mess she was in a moment ago. Kaia's cheeks were still very red and now so were Taylor's.
Taylor played the New Girl episode she was in.
A few minutes into the episode, she glanced at Kaia to find her smiling amusedly at the screen, almost done with her plate.
Taylor twirled her fork around in her food and as much as she truly did want to finish her bowl, she couldn't get herself to. She had eaten most of it, and it was probably the best plate of homemade spaghetti she had ever had. But another bite and she felt like she would explode — or possibly have to run off to the bathroom.
Just the thought of consuming so many carbs made her feel queasy.
When she did finally appear on the large plasma screen, despite the fact that the short cameo wasn't too embarrassing, Taylor still got up, grabbing the dirty dishes to place them in the kitchen. Kaia did look up and almost offered to help but Taylor just shook her head and mentioned that she had it.
She returned when she heard the ending of the episode and flopped on the couch with her head on Kaia's shoulder. Kaia leaned her own head over Taylor's, watching as the next episode started.
"Were you serious about inviting me over to have lunch with your family tomorrow?" Taylor asked out of the blue, her eyes trained on her knee, brushing against Kaia's bare one.
"Mhm, if you're actually free, yeah. Mum loves having people over," Kaia replied softly, her fingers tapping over her thigh.
"I am," Taylor hummed. "I'm actually going to be free for the next... I don't know how long. For a while, I guess."
Kaia sat up, turning around to look at Taylor, one leg tucked under her and the other dangling off the edge of the couch. "You weren't kidding?"
Taylor shook her head. "Nope. Like I said, I don't think I could handle dealing with people for a while. I kind of just want to disappear."
"Well, as long as you don't disappear on me," Kaia murmured, returning to her previous position with her head against Taylor's.
"I won't," Taylor promised, grabbing Kaia's hand to give it a small squeeze. Kaia didn't let go.
"Do you actually want to come tomorrow?"
"If you'll have me, sure," Taylor replied softly.
She really didn't want to spend her days alone, and maybe having a normal afternoon with Kaia might help her feel normal for once.
"Mum will be making Lebanese food," Kaia mentioned, an eyebrow raised.
"I love Hummus," Taylor mentioned which made Kaia burst out laughing. "Why are you mocking? I really do!"
"You're a woman of taste, my friend," Kaia simply replied, smiling amusedly at the blonde.
"Why, thank you! Have you seen this very tasteful portrait of Meredith?" Taylor replied, grinning while pointing at a painting of her cat dressed in a fancy Victorian dress.
"Yeah... I'm a little creeped out, just didn't want to say anything and sound rude," Kaia replied, sucking in her teeth. Taylor scrunched her nose in response and shoved Kaia's shoulder before resting her head on it.
"That was rude," Taylor huffed playfully.
"Sorry," Kaia whispered unapologetically.
They sat on the couch, nuzzled into each other's sides for a while, Taylor couldn't really remember how many episodes they had watched but she knew that she had never felt so comfortable doing absolutely nothing with someone else. She sat there, snorting at dumb jokes, and being herself unapologetically so, and she didn't need to feel bad about it. Kaia never made her feel weird about it.
It also might have been the fact that Kaia had fallen asleep at some point and Taylor hadn't noticed when.
"Isn't Winston the best character?" Taylor had asked and when she didn't receive a response from Kaia she glanced over only to find her fast asleep with her head against Taylor's shoulder, her chest falling and rising at a steady rhythm. "Oh..."
With a small smile on her face, Taylor watched her sleep for a few moments, the rest of the episode playing softly in the background but she couldn't focus on it. Eventually, she turned the TV off and sat there for another few moments, not wanting to disturb Kaia.
But her arm was falling asleep and she really needed to pee and Kaia wasn't going to be waking up any time soon.
And even then, she was content to sit there for another few minutes, watching Kaia sleep, until Greg popped his head in just after midnight and glanced at his boss.
"You need anything else for the night, Miss Swift?" He asked, keeping his voice quiet when he noticed the younger girl sleeping. Unfortunately for him, Kaia stirred anyway, softly blinking her eyes open.
Taylor was only slightly relieved. She really needed to pee.
"All good, Greg. Thank you," she murmured back as the man saluted her tiredly.
"Alright, I'll be in my room. Robin is on the night shift tonight if you need anything," he informed her before disappearing back into the security quarters, in the apartments a floor below.
"What time is it?" Kaia mumbled, rubbing her eyes tiredly and fighting back a yawn in vain.
"Twelve-twenty," Taylor replied, taking a quick glance at the digital watch around her wrist.
"Ah, merde," Kaia murmured halfway through a yawn, finally sitting up straight, only for her head to fall back against the pillow. "Sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on you."
"It's okay," Taylor chuckled softly, brushing Kaia's hair off her forehead gently. "You can stay over if you want. It's pretty late."
Kaia looked like she was about to argue with Taylor but another yawn escaped her and she flopped back against the singer. "You're very warm," Kaia mumbled, her arm falling heavily around Taylor's torso.
She could smell her own shampoo on Kaia with her head laying on her chest and it made her smile softly.
"Is your cat going to be fine on her own?" Taylor asked, suddenly concerned. She didn't want Kaia to leave, but there was a whole feline life on the line here!
"Mhm," Kaia mumbled, using her other hand to rub her eyes. "She's been staying with mum and dad lately. I think she brings mum a bit of comfort when we can't be around."
"Oh," Taylor murmured, her fingers still running through Kaia's short locks. "Yeah, my mom got an entire human-sized puppy."
Kaia laughed sleepily, already starting to doze off again.
Taylor's smile widened, her arms snaking around Kaia's waist to help her sit back up. "Come on, sleepyhead. My couch is not as comfortable as yours. We're going to get you into an actual bed."
"M'okay," Kaia slurred, somehow making the word sound a lot more French than it should have. With a little amused grin, Taylor helped Kaia up to her feet and held her hand while leading her up the stairs.
"The guest bedroom is right through there—"
"No," Kaia mumbled, shaking her head lightly. Taylor turned around, her confusion only growing when she realised Kaia's eyes were closed.
"You don't want to sleep in a bed?" Taylor chuckled, pulling Kaia toward her so she wouldn't fall and hurt herself in her very sleepy state.
"mhm my p'low," the brunette sighed into Taylor's chest.
"Kibbles, I honestly can't understand a word you're saying," Taylor laughed softly, dragging Kaia down the hallway.
Kaia held her ground though and opened her eyes to glare at Taylor in frustration. "You're my pillow!" She grumbled, making sure her words were much more coherent now.
"I— you wanna use me as your pillow?" Taylor stopped and asked in disbelief. Kaia seemed satisfied with that answer, offering Taylor a lazy and sleepy smile.
"Mhm-hm, you're very warm," she said once again.
A little hesitant, Taylor turned to walk in the other direction instead, opening the door to her bedroom. Kaia walked right behind her and when the blonde stopped by the door, she continued straight toward the bed, collapsing over the mattress, duvet and all.
Taylor let out a chuckle, still in shock at Kaia's sleepy attitude. With a small shake of her head, Taylor headed to her dresser and picked out a pair of pyjamas before heading into the en suite bathroom to freshen up and change her clothes, taking her time to do her nightly routine. It was oddly still much faster than usual without Meredith trying to get her paws in her jar of lotion.
She turned off the lights behind her and padded back inside her room to find Kaia cuddling up to a pillow under the bedsheets. With a little smile, Taylor started toward the door. She didn't want to make things any weirder or make Kaia uncomfortable even if she had just asked her to be her pillow in her sleep.
"Where are you going?" Kaia surprised Taylor, turning around to lay on her back and glance at the blonde.
"Oh, uh, the guest room—"
"Noooo, you're my pillow tonight!" Kaia insisted, pulling out her bottom lip in an irresistible pout.
With a small sigh, Taylor walked back over to the bed and sat tentatively on the other side, which did incidentally happen to be the side she always slept on. "I didn't think you were serious," Taylor mentioned, slipping under the bedsheets and keeping a good distance between them.
"I never joke about my pillows," Kaia replied with a little playful smile, rolling over to scoot closer to Taylor.
"Go to sleep, Kibbles," Taylor told her, fighting back a smile. God, she was so cute.
"M'yeah," Kaia breathed out, closing her eyes, still facing Taylor. "Bonne nuit."
Taylor watched her for a few moments, fighting back the urge to play with Kaia's hair. Taylor wasn't sure how long had passed before Kaia spoke again, her voice barely audible in the stillness of the night.
"I like it when you call me Kibbles," she admitted, placing her hands under her head.
"I like calling you Kibbles," Taylor smiled widely this time, brushing her thumb lightly over Kaia's cheek.
Kaia didn't react though, somehow already having fallen asleep.
With a little yawn, Taylor stretched her arm and turned off the bedside lamp, the room turning completely dark. But she could still feel Kaia's warmth against her side, and when she finally closed her eyes, Taylor welcomed sleep with open arms. And for the first time in a while, she slept in just a few moments, soundly and dreamless.