Why Your Story SUCKS | Writer...

By Xaprith

31.9K 3.1K 3.4K

A rant book of things that Wattpad writers do that I find annoying and pointless. Plus topics that need to be... More

DISCLAIMER
Chapter one, part 1
Alpha Daddy's Virgin
Pack houses don't make any logical sense
Stolen Ideas and Copyright
Rape is just a sob story
Umm you're a new student so I have to bully you for no reason
Self voting
(Unedited)
Fat characters? YAS QUEEN SLAY
Pls read and vote on my story, thanks.
i'M BlAcK aNd tHaT's aLl ThAt mAtTeRs
Comas are not a long sleep
"Well, it's just a story" - Wattpad's biggest issue
No, you will not be the next Anna Todd
Earn coins they said
Fanfiction is gross and cringy
Wattpad's hacking + words from ex employees
"I smiled" isn't a dialogue tag
Sociopaths are hot uwu
The Grossest Wattpad Community
why your book cover sucks
Stop describing the ocean's smell
Wattpad's weird BHM art and pushing political messages
Skin tones are not desserts
Wattpad Petitions Are Dumb
Eating Disorders Don't Work Like This + Thinspo Content
Autistic People Are Babies
The actual reason Wattpad shut down its forums
Boys Can't Be Sexually Assaulted Apparently
why your smut sucks
why your hook sucks
Please Read Books Are Dumb
Trigger warnings are getting excessive
Reversing gender roles and "strong" female characters
Wattpad Is Censoring Other Platforms
why your mafia story sucks
Wattpad's 10 dollar scam
Wattpad Is Broken
Mutism is quirky I guess
Let authors doubt themselves
Silent readers
Gaining reads and R4Rs/F4Fs
Why your cast/descriptions sucks
The misconceptions of NovelHD & Teenfic.net (stop acting like Karens)
An Update
Why your badass character sucks
Why your blurb sucks
Writing contract offers aka scams
Should Authors Use The N-Word In Their Stories?
The Worst, Most Harmful Book I've Ever Read - An extensive break-down
Editing books after completion
Trolls/Haters
Authors aren't AI
The breakup
Book titles
Author's Notes
Why Your Review Shop Sucks
Why your prologue sucks
Wattpad Underpays Their Designers
Why your AI cover sucks

Barbie Bitches

329 40 32
By Xaprith

Blonde girls, you either love them or hate them in books, usually hate.

Blondes in books are always portrayed as the perfect girl and maybe that was the stereotype in the early 2000s but why is it still the stereotype today? Always bitchy barbies picking on the MC or stealing the love interest. What is it with having yellow hair and being mean?

Oh right right, because you're afraid to be original and reuse old cliches cause you're lazy.

Anytime I see a book and the "antagonist" is a blonde white girl with blue/green eyes, the perfect body, boys after her, always touching up her makeup/lip gloss in class, has two minions by her side, etc, I instantly lose interest. This is another reason I stay the hell away from teen fiction. I'm sorry but teen fic is often the worst offender next to YA and other romance. High schoolers cannot write high schoolers and it baffles me. 

I've seen readers even expect the blonde girl to be a bitch or some sort of backstabber if she's nice. Bleaching the shit out of your hair routinely damages your hair, not your personality and attitude. Stop thinking because a girl has blonde hair she MUST be a "barbie bitch".

A lot of times when the MC is either insulting the barbie in narrative or actually does stand up to the barbie, 9 times of 10 she says a dumb blonde joke or something about how all the hair bleach must be getting to her brain, and everyone around them, even readers too, act like it was such a severe burn. Ya'll can't even think of actually funny, creative roasts.

Similar to what I said in my rant about bullying, this early 2000s cliche of high school being written in modern, present settings makes no fucking sense. Society has changed so much since then.

Do better. Hey y'know maybe if you put as much work into your writing as your blonde girl does into getting ready in the morning before she arrives at school to bully the quirky MC for wearing glasses, you'd have a more interesting, intense, villain and story.


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