Serenity POV
Ms.Porter: Hey! We still having tea later tonight at my house?
Me: Yes ma'am 💙
Me and Ms.Porter hang out from time to time, I really enjoy getting her insight since she's been in this world longer than me. So tonight I agreed to meet with her after I'm done with all of my errands.
After I sent that text, I got out the car, looking at all the graves at this cemetery. Decided to pay him a visit today.
"Hey.. Brought you some roses.." I said as I squatted down, looking down at Ja'Von's gravestone.
Ever since I broke up with Roddy... I guess for good this time, I've been in a rut.
Emotionally unstable, unavailable, whatever you wanna call it. I'm just not the same.
I feel like I'm back to square one, before I met him.
I sat the roses on Ja'Von's grave and just sighed. I sat down on the grass and wrapped my arms around my legs, rocking back and forth. A tear fell out of my face, just thinking about everything I've been going through.
"My emotions been off the wall lately for months... I've been trying to be private but now since I'm a public figure it's kind of hard. But I know you would've told me to keep my head up through these bad times, and to never let anyone get the best of me." I said, then I just looked down at the grave and shook my head.
"Sometimes I still can't believe you're not here. It's just not real to me. I can't wrap my head around it, even still. But I can never question God, and I won't." I said.
"I really feel like I've reach a point of loneliness.. Just hopeless." I mumbled wiping my tears, and I took a deep breath.
"Serenity?" I heard someone say, I turned around and seen King, Ja'Von's best friend.
"King." I said rolling my eyes, he sighed.
"Can we not act like this in front of his grave?" He asked me.
"Act like what?" I asked.
"Like this.. Like we mad at each other" King said.
"Well I think he'd be very disappointed if he knew how you've been treating me lately, and disrespecting me over the internet." I said.
"Don't you think he'd be disappointed if he knew you moved on?" He asked.
"No, because he kept saying to go on with my life if anything happened to him and to be happy. You must not know your best friend like you think you do. Ja'Von was the most loving, selfless human being I ever met. He was never selfish. And he would never want me to be depressed for the rest of my life." I said.
He looked down at Ja'Von's headstone, then he looked around and I scrunched my eyebrows.
"Ummm?" I said.
"What?" King replied.
"Why you looking around like you're searching for someone?" I asked him.
"I'm not.." He said.
"Then what are you doing?" I asked scanning the whole cemetery on the low, I have sunglasses on so he doesn't even realize. But I was definitely curious now.
"I was just looking Serenity, calm down" King said.
"Mm." I said, then I thought about when I visited me and Ja'Von's old house, and how Jacob told me that King took over the place when he died.
"Uh King" I said.
"Hmm?" He asked.
"You never told me you took over me and Ja'Von's old spot when he died, and when I moved out of there." I said, his eyes widened.
"How'd you know?" King asked.
"I just know. Why you didn't say anything?" I asked. And I could tell he got uncomfortable by me asking that, kinda like he was hiding something. I wasn't sure.
"I just didn't. I figured it didn't really matter" King said.
"Why did you take over the house if-"
"Ah shit, I- The time. It's getting late, I gotta go" King said.
I scrunched my eyebrows and said "It's 12 PM"
"I gotta go Serenity, I forgot I had a very important errand to run" He said as he quickly walked away from me, and towards his car.
There's definitely something he's hiding.
I looked down at Ja'Von's grave and said "Yeah he been trippin since you've been gone. I wonder what he's hiding.."
Then I just shook my head and said "I love you Ja'Von, keep resting okay?" I bent down and kissed my hand, then touched the gravestone.
I stood back up and sighed a little, before folding my arms and walking back to my car.
-
Roddy POV
"What happened now" Mahki asked me as we were playing cards at my house, and I confided in him about me and Serenity breaking up... Possibly for good this time.
"I don't even know where to begin. We were tryna have a conversation to fix our problem, but it just turned into us arguing again." I said.
"About the same thing?" He asked.
"Yeah. She feels one way, I feel another way. We not on the same page. And I ain't gone lie, a nigga lowkey got scared she was gone leave and she knew it. So I made her think I didn't care, when I do" I said sighing.
"Now why would you do that?" Mahki asked me.
"Because I got my pride. Ain't no woman finna think I'm scared of losing them" I said.
"Mannnnn fuck that pride shit. When you love somebody, you put all that pride to the side of you wanna keep them around." Mahki said.
"Man.. I ain't gone lie cuh. I miss her ass like crazy.. She really my backbone." I said tossing the cards on the table and I tilted my head back, rubbing my face.
"Then go fix it" Mahki said.
"I feel like it might be too late." I said.
"You needa check your temper Roddy, real shit. When you mad, you get real disrespectful and that ain't coo." He said.
One thing about Mahki, he gone keep it real with me whether I like it or not, and whether I wanna hear it or not.
"But-"
"I'm serious Roddy, you do. That typa shit gone push people away. You in yo feelings, and yo feelings just as valid as her's BUT you need to learn how to talk to people. She can't hear YOU, she only hears the disrespect." Mahki said, I rose my eyebrows.
"When did you get all... Smart?" I asked him and we both laughed.
"Shut up. I just met a lil mama that changed my perspective on a lot, I ain't taking the risk of losing that. And since you found something and someone real as well, you needa hold onto it. And not front on her, and give up when shit gets a bit tough." Mahki said, I sighed.
He's right but damn.
"I don't know man, our last conversation was bad.." I said.
"You don't think you can fix it?" Mahki asked.
"I'm not sure. But... Serenity is worth the try, I just hope we can work through this shit" I said.
"Go get yo girl and stop trippin on her everytime it gets hard" Mahki said and I smacked my lips.
"You right, but shut up" I said and we both laughed, and then he shrugged.
-
Serenity POV
"Where is it..." I mumbled to myself looking through my bathroom cabinet, then I seen a bottle of Benadryl's.
I definitely needed to take one so I could sleep tonight after I'm done taking a bath.
I grabbed my little medicine cup and filled it with water, then put the pill in my mouth, swallowing it down with water.
I ran my bath water, and while I was waiting for it to fill up, I walked to my kitchen and grabbed a champagne glass.
I definitely needed a drink or two, I just haven't been feeling like myself lately. And I needed to unwind.
I pulled out my red wine from the fridge and poured it into my cup. As I opened my fridge again to put it back, I grabbed my Hennessy bottle.
I walked over to my cabinet, opening it and grabbing my shot glass.
Fuck it, I need a shot first before I drink this wine.
I poured the henny inside of the shot glass, and without thinking I just chugged it down, making a face.
I placed my hands on the kitchen counter looking down at it, blinking my eyes a few times from the feeling. It was already hitting me.
I then grabbed my glass of wine and started drinking it, without stopping. And once my glass was empty, I sat it down and took a deep breath.
I rubbed my face as my eyes got a bit low, and I walked slowly to the bathroom to take my bath.
-
Roddy POV
9:30 PM
As I laid in my bed looking up at the ceiling, my mind was racing.
All I could think about was Serenity, how much I missed her. Shit I wish I could take back.
I sighed and sat up a bit, leaning against the headboard. My phone started ringing, and I grabbed it from the nightstand.
Ms.Porter is calling
"Oh-"
I answered the phone and said "Hello?"
"Um, hi Roddy. I apologize for calling late and-"
"Oh you're good Ms.Porter. Are you okay?" I asked her.
"I'm fine, I just... Have you heard from Serenity at all? She was supposed to meet with me tonight for tea over an hour ago, I called her several times and she hasn't answered." She said and I scrunched my eyebrows.
"Are you serious?" I asked as I quickly got out the bed.
"Yeah, and it really worries me because it seems like she's been very depressed and unsure about a lot lately. I don't know what's going on" Ms.Porter said.
"Okay I'm gonna go make sure everything is okay, thank you for calling me" I said putting my shoes on and I threw my shirt on quickly.
"No problem! Please update me and let me know how shes doing, please.." She said.
"Of course" I said.
"Alright be safe" Ms.Porter said.
"I will, thank you" I said before we hung up the phone.
"Shit shit shit" I mumbled. Serenity not answering the phone or not showing up to something isn't normal.
I dug in my dresser pulling out the spare key she gave me to her house, I'm surprised she never asked for it back. Maybe she forgot about it.
I didn't even need my car keys since she lives right down the block, I'm just gone run over there.
-
Once I got to Serenity's house, I was breathing heavy from running and I quickly stuck the key in the keyhole, turning it until it unlocked.
"Serenity!" I yelled shutting her front door and locking it. I looked around seeing the kitchen lights were on. I ran into the kitchen, seeing a empty wine glass and an empty shot glass.
I seen she drank a full cup and took a shot of whatever, and my jaw dropped.
"The fuck?" I mumbled looking around.
"Serenity!" I yelled again as I ran up the stairs and into her bedroom. I seen the bathroom door was open and the lights were on.
I ran into the bathroom and seen she was sleep in the bathtub, and her head was hanging over it, my eyes widened.
And a nigga heart started beating fast, I'm not even gone lie.
"Serenity baby" I said getting on my knees as I got to the tub, and I lifted her head up and she opened her eyes blinking fast.
"Baby... Whats going on?" I asked. "Hmm?" I said, she tilted her head back and I held her head.
"Are you okay? Baby answer me please" I said lowkey panicking.
"Y-yeah" She somewhat slurred and her eyes lowered as she tilted her head down.
"This couldn't have just been the alcohol I seen, did you take something? Hmm? What'd you take?" I asked her.
"O-oveeer there" She said, I looked over at the bathroom sink seeing a bottle of Benadryl's, I sighed.
"Serenity baby.. Why did you.. Mix pills with- Baby" I mumbled, I don't know why but my eyes started watering up and a nigga don't even get emotional like that.
"I just want sleep" Serenity mumbled, she was definitely out of it.
I kissed her forehead and said "Baby I'm so sorry.. We can fix this okay? We gone fix it" then I felt a tear roll down my face. It just hurt a nigga heart seeing her like this.
"Sleep" Was all she said, and she slowly closed her eyes.
"Okay- Come on baby, lift up, we gone go to sleep okay? I'm gonna spend the night" I said lifting her up slowly, then I reached under her body and picked her up bridal style.
She slightly opened her eyes and groaned. "Am I hurting you?" I asked.
"Noooo" She slurred, I carried her to her bed and gently laid her on it. Then I walked to her dresser, where I know she keeps her night clothes.
I pulled out a pair of her shorts and a big t-shirt, along with some panties, preparing myself to put the clothes on her and help her go to sleep.
-
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