My heart starts pounding. Not here, not now. We've migrated to a more private space but people are going to notice when someone gets down on one knee. "Kevin, get up." I feel bile rising in my throat, I want to throw up all over him.
As usual, Kevin ignores what I say. Heaven forbid he should listen to what I want. "Don't let it end like this, Connie. We need each other. I need you more than you'll ever know," he implores, pulling out a red velvety box and opening it to expose one of the most expensive looking rings I've ever seen in my life. It's gotta be something of a 50-carat because holy shit.
Weeks ago, this was all I wanted. Now all I wanted was for him to fuck off.
"No, you need me so you can get ahead in the company. You seem to do a fine job of it all on your own. You think I didn't notice you sucking up to my father for the potential promotion?" I tell myself to keep my patience. I don't want to start an argument. Not that Kevin and I ever argued. We're too polite for that.
"I deserve that. You're right. I've behaved badly during our relationship and for that, I'm sorry. I'm sure you think I've-used you. I regret many of the choices I've made, Connie, but I've never regretted you. I love you, Connie Mahaswaren. I really do. You make me so happy and I can't stand being away from you. Please, can't you give me another chance? I know I messed up. I was just so angry that you were always so consumed with your work, even when I told you that I'm leaving you for the promotion in a few weeks."
I gape at him. I always made time for him. Always.
"And then you started spending time with Universe character. It threw me. I didn't know what you were up to. I got jealous." He runs a hand through his hair, then immediately pushes it back into place. "Lapis filled my head with a bunch of lies and I overreacted."
A bunch of lies? What could she have told him? "Overreacted how? By letting her put her mouth on your penis?"
He looks shocked. Good. I'm feeling a little shocked by this entire conversation, too. And for gods sake I wanted him to get up, at this point people were starting to glance over and I didn't dare look at them for fear I'd puke. "What I did with her doesn't matter. I love you. I don't want to lose you."
This is the last thing I need to deal with tonight. "It's over, Kevin. I don't know why you think otherwise or why you believe you can change my mind. No means no, Kevin. You need to get up." I tell him firmly.
"You can't just cut me off. We have a history. A shared past together. We planned on running this company someday, side by side. What about those plans?" he asks indignantly thrusting the box at me.
"They're over. You ruined them a long time ago." I start to walk away but his hand darts out, grabbing mine and stopping me.
"Don't be such a prude." He yanks me toward him so hard my arm throbs with pain. I try to pull away but he holds on tighter. I'm suddenly feeling scared, like he's going to hurt me.
"Kevin let go." He stands and I shrink away a little as he puts his face in mine. "We belong together, Connie. You know this." His tone is low and downright menacing. I can almost believe he's threatening me.
"Let her go, Johnson."
We both turn at the same time to find Steven standing there, watching us with a furious scowl marring his otherwise handsome face, his legs braced wide apart and his hands stuffed inside his trouser pockets. His posture reeks of regal dominance and I find my heart racing at seeing the fierce way he's staring down Kevin, his hair a delicious curly mess and that cold, dark stare.
"Get the fuck out of here," Kevin snarls, his teeth clenched. I gasp at his choice of words. This is a man who rarely says anything crude. "We're having a private discussion."
"Fuck you. Stop pushing her around, asshole. She's not with you anymore, or did you forget that?" The mocking tone in Steven's voice sends about a thousand different shades of red flashing across Kevin's face. He's so furious he's practically vibrating with the emotion.
"Stay out of my business," Kevin fumes just as I jerk out of his hold and go over to stand by Steven's side. I can tell the gesture alone surprises him. Hurts him. Infuriates him.
Good.
"I'm not your business any longer, Kevin," I tell him, stiffening when I feel Steven's hand rest at the small of my back. He's putting on some sort of unified front for Kevin and I'm not sure if I want him to. "There's nothing left for us to discuss."
"Connie ..."
"Not here," I say, interrupting him. "Stop. Go. Before you make a fool of yourself even more."
He glares at us both, his gaze going from me to Steven and back to me. I stiffen my shoulders and lift my chin, hoping I look strong when I feel anything but.
"We'll talk later," he mutters before he walks away, tucking the ring box back into his pocket.
"The guy can't take a hint," Steven says the moment Kevin is out of earshot, streaking his thumb across the center of my back, making me shiver.
I step away from him, uncomfortable. "You shouldn't have butt in."
He cocks a brow. "You looked like you needed a helping hand."
"It was fine. I'm capable of having a civil conversation with my ex."
"Your ex was asking you to marry him, and you were obviously in a shady situation." He countered.
I release a shuddering breath, hating how everything tightens inside of me at the mention of the word ex. Am I regretting my decision? I just ... I don't know what I want anymore. I feel completely out of control.
And I don't like it.
"I'm. Fine."
"You might be, but I'm not so sure about Johnson." Steven takes a step toward me and I back up, feeling cornered. Feeling ... trapped.
And angry. Why do all the men in my life try to push me around? "I don't need you to come to my rescue."
He smiles, but it looks more like he's baring his teeth. "Looked like it to me."
I cross my arms in front of my chest. "I don't need you interfering in my personal business." I sound like a shrew but I really don't care. I'm mad. Mad at Kevin, mad at Steven ... I'm being completely irrational, but my life has become tumultuous at best or an absolute tornado at worst.
He takes another step toward me, his expression menacing, eyes dark as he watches me. I step back, my butt hitting the wall, and I drop my arms, bracing my hands flat. "He had his hands on you." He's now so close his leg brushes the skirt of my dress. "He was yelling at you. He was threatening you."
"He wasn't."
"Why are you defending him? He's fucking Lapis," he says harshly.
Hearing him say it like that ... sounds so sordid. And makes me feel bad because I'm doing the same exact thing with him. "And I'm fucking around with you. What's the difference?"
He raises his brows, looking almost amused at what I said. "The difference? You're not with him anymore. You're with me."
"We're not together." He touches my cheek and I lean into his touch automatically. "It happened once."
"And it was amazing."
I shrug, trying to ignore the husky reverence in his voice. It doesn't matter what he thinks. We probably shouldn't be doing this. Any of this. I think I'm in over my head. No. Not think ... I know I'm in over my head. "It shouldn't happen again," I whisper as he leans in, his nose brushing against the side of my face.
"Oh, it's going to," he whispers, his lips moving against my cheek. "You want it to. I bet if I slipped my hand beneath your dress I'd find you bare. Just like I asked."
I close my eyes, praying that no one will find us here. Yes, we've maneuvered ourselves somehow into an even darker corner of the party, but still. We're not in complete hiding.
"And I bet if I slipped my fingers between your legs, I'd find you wet," he continues, his velvety, deep voice weaving some sort of seductive spell on me. I'm almost tempted to dare him to see if I'm as wet as he imagines. "I bet I could make you come in seconds."
A huff of surprised laughter escapes me. I feel that anger over being owned rise up again "Rather confident in your abilities, aren't you?"
"Just remembering how I had you coming all over my face the last time I saw you. That gorgeous expression of ecstasy all for me..."
My entire body goes weak at his words. I open my eyes to find him tracing his finger along the plunging neckline of my dress, teasing at the sensitive skin between my breasts. "Oh God, no. N-not having this conversation here." I protest breathlessly.
He smirks and his eyes flash that unnatural color. "Let's take it elsewhere, then."
"Steven ..."
"Fuck," he groans, slipping his finger beneath the fabric and touching my breast. "Your skin is so damn soft." I can feel his cock pressing against me, hard just for me.
My eyes fall shut when he strokes my nipple. "Please. Stop," I murmur.
In an instant his hand is gone and his body heat disappears. Opening my eyes, I find he's stepped completely away from me, his hands stuffed into his pockets once more, his expression neutral. Almost as bland as Kevin's.
I hate it. Hate having him that far away from me. Hate even more the turbulent emotions swirling within me. I want him. I don't. I like him, but not really. He's so closed off most of the time. Treats life like it's one big joke.
Sexually we share a strong connection. It scares me a little. But more than that I want to explore it to the deepest parts.
But I would be stupid to even attempt it. Steven Universe can only be using me. But is it wrong that I want him to?
"Don't give me that sad little look, Connie." He reacts the opposite way of Kevin. His frustration is silent, indifferent. His eyes are dull and I feel my throat tighten with every word he says. "If you say no, I'm not about to push myself on you."
I open my mouth but suddenly he's gone, and I'm left to deal with these muddled emotions on my own.