Scout
Sniper: Holy shit, she's actually real. Damn, I swear I thought he was lying to try to get over Miss Pauling. Good for Jeremy, (Y/N) looks like a lovely person.
Spy: It's about fucking time Jeremy got a girlfriend. I was scared he'd be a disappointment that makes out with his pillow for the rest of his life. Emily will be so happy our son found a girlfriend.
Medic: Jacques said Jeremy hit zhis pretty woman vith a baseball? Oh god, (Y/N) must have head trauma, because zhere is no vay she vould be vith Jeremy if she didn't.
Pyro: Awww (Y/N) is beautiful! And she makes Jeremy so happy!
Engineer: What a lovely woman, I really hope Jeremy doesn't break her heart...
Soldier: Jeremy better not get distracted by this girlfriend, I'll make him run laps if he does!
Demo: Wait you're telling me this is Jeremy's girlfriend?! I'm not drunk enough to believe this...
Heavy: ... Well, at least he'll leave Miss Pauling alone...
Pyro
Scout: How the hell did Phoenix score this beautiful woman!?! Maybe the dating advice I gave him worked...
Sniper: Awww well Phoenix and (Y/N) look like such a lovely couple, I'm happy for them.
Spy: I want to be mad that (Y/N)'s not with me... but I guess I should be happy for Phoenix to find someone who loves him no matter how he looks...
Medic: Vhat a cute, veird couple...
Engineer: I'm just so happy for Phoenix! (Y/N) is such a nice and beautiful woman, I'm glad she sees Phoenix for the amazing person he is!
Soldier: She seems like a strong woman maybe she can turn Phoenix into a strong person too!
Demo: This is perfect! I can't wait to laugh in Jeremy's face about how Phoenix can get a great girlfriend and he can't!
Heavy: I don't know know if I should be happy for her or scared for her...
Medic
Scout: This is Ludwig's girlfriend??? But she looks so... normal... oh god, I'm scared she could be just as crazy as Ludwig!!!!
Sniper: Well she makes Ludwig happy... Maybe he'll stop experimenting on us to pay attention to her.
Spy: I'm... you know what I'm not surprised, Ludwig is a handsome man, I shouldn't be surprised such a beautiful woman is with him.
Pyro: She seems too nice for such a scary person, I hope he doesn't hurt her...
Engineer: Well (Y/N) makes Ludwig happy so that is all that matters.
Soldier: This woman is crazy, dating the enemy of America!
Demo: She better be a strong woman to have to deal with Ludwig...
Heavy: I'm happy for doctor, she makes him so happy, therefore I like this leetle lady.
Sniper
Scout: I don't know if I'm jealous or happy that Mundy is with (Y/N)... he's my friend so I should probably be happy for him.
Spy: Ridiculous, I don't know what such a perfect woman sees in this smelly bushman.
Medic: I'm happy for Mundy, he deserves someone to make him happy.
Pyro: Awww, (Y/N) is so pretty. Mundy is really lucky.
Engineer: Well I'm happy for Mundy. It's nice to see him with someone who helps him out of his shell and causes him to talk more.
Soldier: I can't see what (Y/N) sees in that kangaroo!
Demo: How the hell does this girl like Mundy? He spends most of his time pissing in a jar...
Heavy: Mundy is a lucky man, (Y/N) seems like a great person.
Spy
Scout: Of course, of course, here comes Jacques with a new beautiful girlfriend, he better not break her heart...
Sniper: This nice Sheila deserves better than this backstabbing French womanizer...
Medic: I should probably tell (Y/N) to make sure Jacques is using protection, ve don't need another Jeremy...
Pyro: (Y/N) is so sweet, I'm surprised she's with such a guy like Jacques, but I guess I'm happy for them.
Engineer: That backstabbing snake better not hurt (Y/N), she is such a nice person.
Soldier: The French are cowards, I don't know what she sees in Jacques!
Demo: (Y/N) doesn't deserve to be with a disgusting crab!
Heavy: Jacques better not make another Jeremy and leave her...
Soldier
Scout: WHAT THE FUCK THIS IS BULLSHIT!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BEAUTIFUL WOMAN DOING WITH JANE!!!!! THIS ISN'T FAIR!!!
Sniper: .... How...
Spy:... I have no comment...
Medic: I don't understand how Jane got this beautiful woman to be with him... Life is so unfair...
Pyro: Well... I don't understand how their relationship started, but I'm happy for Jane! (Y/N) seem really nice.
Engineer: I'm surprised that this nice woman wants to be with Jane but they're happy together, so I'm happy for them!
Demo: I'm proud of Jane! I knew he was good with the ladies!
Heavy: ...
Engineer
Scout: (Y/N) is so hot! What does Dell have that I don't?!
Sniper: (Y/N) seems so nice, I'm happy for Dell!
Spy: It's about time Dell got a girlfriend that isn't a robot...
Medic: Vell I'm happy for my hard hat friend, (Y/N) is such a lovely woman.
Pyro: I'm so happy for Dell! He and (Y/N) are so cute together and (Y/N) makes Dell so happy. I hope they stay together forever!
Soldier: Dell should be focusing on battle and not a woman!
Demo: (Y/N) and Dell seem so happy together, I'm happy for them!
Heavy: Lettle Lady is perfect for Dell.