╮he can't be the coach╰
sloane anderson sat on the old wooden bench at the side of the frozen pond and tied her skates with a blank expression. she sat up and folded her hands over her thighs as she watched her teammates clumsily practice hockey. she pushed herself to her feet with a sigh as she shifted her pursed lips to one side. she pushed the loose ponytail holding back her dark, wavy over her shoulder and licked at her chapped lips. she grabbed her hockey stick after sliding her hockey gloves onto her hands. she picked up one of the old, paint-chipped hockey puck from the small crate by the bench and smiled as guy germaine and connie moreau skated toward her.
"want to run drills with me?" sloane asked and held up the hockey puck in her hand. she bent down to set it on the ice after they nodded and passed it to guy when she raised up.
"mom heard we've finally been assigned a new coach," connie said as she stopped the puck and passed it to sloane.
"wonder what he did to get the community service assignment," sloane commented and moved the puck from one side of her stick to the other. she passed it to guy with a sigh and pulled her loose ponytail back over her shoulder.
"petty theft or shoplifting probably," guy answered with a confident nod.
"we've already had those, guy," sloane said, looking over at the boy with her lips pressed together.
"well, there's only so many misdemeanors that warrant community service, sloane. we're bound to get the same one more than once," he answered with his arms dropped at his side.
sloane shrugged a shoulder in acceptance and hummed as she looked away from the boy. her ears perked and she turned around as charlie conway, lester averman, dave karp, and peter mark ran toward the frozen pond, breathing heavily. she, connie, and guy continued to pass the puck to each other until the four boys had their skates on and joined the scrimmage when the boys skated out.
sloane watched charlie skate toward terry hall to join him in shooting pucks at the team's goalie, greg goldberg. she hit her brakes to stop beside connie and grabbed her arm as she began to fall back. she regained her balance and stuck her hockey stick into the small group to pull out the puck. she pulled her stick back when the puck slid away and slowly began to skate after it. she looked over her shoulder and narrowed her eyes as a black limo slowly drove toward the ice.
"jesse," sloane said, hitting her brakes as she watched the limo stop at the edge of the pond. she looked over her shoulder to watch him skate over to her and she glanced around as her teammates gathered behind them. "what're we gonna do?" she asked and tilted her head toward the limo as it slowly inched its way onto the ice.
"find out who the hell this is," he said and she shrugged as they started toward the limo. she tucked the stray hairs from her ponytail behind her ears and slipped her hands into the pockets in the back of her jeans as they neared the side of the limo.
"don't know what you're doing," peter nervously mumbled from beside jesse. "i'm gonna get in big trouble."
"y'all chill, all right? i'll take care of it," jesse said as they slowed at the side of the limo.
"he's a drug runner, i just know it!" peter whispered as the back door of the limo swung outward. sloane's lips parted slightly as her head tilted in confusion as a grown man in a suit and tie stepped out of the open door. the man pushed the door shut behind him and walked beside the limo until he stood in front of jesse and sloane.
"yo, dude, you obviously in the wrong hood," jesse explained and he scrunched his nose. "this is my dominion. this is a drug-free zone, you understand? we ain't buyin' nothin'. i'm feeling generous today, so i'm gonna let you get your sorry vanilla booty outta here before we be usin' your eyeballs as hockey pucks," he finished and sloane smiled as a laugh rose in her chest. she closed her eyes as laughter broke through her closed lips before lifting her head to look at the man in front of her.
"thanks, bro," the man said and sloane watched as he slowly lifted his hand, "but i'm not going home till i take care of business."
he slowly pulled his jacket away from his chest and slipped a gloved hand in. sloane's eyes widened in panic before she forced her expression back into its normal nonchalantness. jesse pressed his arm against her stomach and pushed her back as the team hurriedly moved away from the man. she fought to keep her demeanor calm and relaxed as the man shifted his hand in his jacket.
"oh my god!" "he's got a gun!" "stand back!" the team advised as the man began to pull his hand back. sloane let out a quiet sigh as he brought his hand from his jacket and held up a folded piece of white paper.
"district five peewee hockey team," the man said and the team retook their previous positions in front of the man. "i'm gordon bombay. i'm the new coach," he introduced and sloane snickered quietly as the rest of her teammates laughed loudly.
"yeah, right!" jesse snickered and tilted his head back.
"afraid so, dude. got the roster right here," bombay said as he unfolded the squared piece of paper in his hands. "anderson, sloane. averman, dave. conway, charlie. hall, terry."
"geez, he is the coach!" guy scoffed and sloane pulled her hands from her back pockets to fold them over her chest.
"this dude can't be the coach," sloane nonchalantly commented with a small shrug.
"now, here's the long and short of it. i hate hockey and i don't like kids," bombay explained and sighed as he looked away.
"what, supposed to be a pep talk?" peter sarcastically asked. sloane crossed her legs and placed her hands on her lower back as she shifted her hips slightly to the left.
"look, i'm sure this will be a real bonding experience," bombay explained condescendingly and sloane narrowed her eyes as she pressed her lips into a thin line. "maybe one day, one of you will even write about it in jail."
"funny," peter scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"is there a goalie?" bombay asked as he glanced across the team.
"uh, only for a little while. i'm, uh, moving back to philly," goldberg answered from the back of the small group.
"thank you for sharing that," bombay replied with a small, sarcastic nod.
"no problem!" goldberg responded and sloane rolled her eyes up to the top of her eyelid. she sighed as she pressed them together and slowly opened them.
"alright. get out on the ice. let me see what you can do," bombay said and watched the team turn around to skate out.
"uh, just so you know," averman started as he skated over to the coach, "we really suck."
"hey, i'll decide who sucks around here," bombay said as he stared pointedly at averman.
"this should be fun," sloane commented and let her arms swing at her sides as she skated toward the center of the pond.
she stopped beside guy to act as left-wing as a puck was dropped between him and peter. she pushed her hockey stick between peter and guy and grunted when she was pulled forward. she tensed when connie fell on her back before jesse spun in a small circle and landed on top of connie. she clenched her jaw as the rest of her teammates slowly fell on top of her. she squirmed until she was out from under the pile-up and she propped herself on her forearms to look at her teammates. she breathed heavily as she pushed herself to her knees and watched averman skate to the side.
"the pete-meister! mister rabble-rouser! passing the puck over to jesse-roonie, the enforcer!" averman commentated. sloane sighed heavily before blowing air upward and quickly rolled her eyes. she ran her tongue across her lips quickly as she hurried to get to her feet. "ouch! that hurt!" he added as peter tripped and fell in front of him.
"oh, it's the connie-meister!" he started as connie skated toward him. sloane snickered softy and ducked her head when she hit him in the shoulder, causing him to fall on his back. "the velvet hammer."
sloane gripped her hockey stick as she skated toward connie. she slowed down as she caught up to her and gently nudged her elbow. she smiled when connie nudged her back and the two continued toward their new coach. she let out a long breath as they slowed to a stop in front of bombay.
"hi, coach. i'm connie," she introduced and looked at sloane.
"i'm sloane," she said and crossed her knees. she jutted her hip to the side as she pulled her hockey stick to her chest. "do you, um," she started and looked to the side to tuck her hair behind her ear, "do you play?" she finished while tilting her head to the left.
"no," bombay answered quickly. sloane and connie cut their eyes at each other in suspicion and quickly looked back up at their coach. "so, what's our record, anyway?"
"oh-and-nine," connie responded and sloane pressed her lips together. "one was pretty close, though we only lost by five. and we almost scored a goal, too."
"so what do we do now, coach?" jesse asked as he and the rest of the team stopped beside them.
"what did your old coach have you do?" bombay asked and squinted his eyes against the glaring sun.
"he just yelled a lot," charlie answered and sloane nodded with her eyes slightly widened in agreement.
"yeah, that's how he hurt his arm," terry added.
"his arm?" bombay asked. sloane bit the inside of her bottom lip to hide her smile as she looked over at guy.
"yeah, one minute, he's yelling at us, 'you little bastards! where'd you learn to play? oh, you suck! skate, you little bas-'" peter said before sharply cutting himself off. he grabbed his chest and began to gasp as he fell over.
"heart attack. great," bombay mumbled, glancing away from the team. "all right, look, i gotta make a phone call," he said as he turned his attention back to the team. "keep scrimmaging. you, you, you, you and you-" he pointed at sloane, guy, jesse, connie, and charlie, "-against you five," he finished as he motioned briefly toward the rest of the team.
"hey, we got names, you know," goldberg said and narrowed his eyes at the coach.
"i'm sure you do. and i bet they're very nice names," bombay demeaningly said as he condescendingly leaned toward him. "i might even learn 'em. for now, i'll be in my office," he said and walked down the limo toward the door he exited from. he paused with his hand on the door handle and turned back to the team. "oh, and if you need anything? fax me," he added and laughed as he stepped into the backseat of the limo. sloane dramatically rolled her eyes as she turned around to skate toward the middle of the ice.
"where do they find these coaches, anyway?" averman asked as he skated between sloane and connie. "i mean, we're impressionable young kids, right? shouldn't we check his qualifications or something?"
"where would we find his qualifications?" sloane asked, staring at him with her lips slightly parted and her eyebrows lifted. he opened his mouth to answer before pausing, closing his mouth, and shrugging. sloane sighed through her nose and narrowed her eyes as her teammates rushed toward them.
"c'mon, we're jumping this loser's car," jesse said as he hooked her arm around sloane's and pulled her toward the limo.
"on three! one! two! three!" peter counted and the team began to rock the limo when he finished.
sloane rammed her shoulder into the door before pulling back with a smile. she watched as her teammates continued rocking the limo. she laughed quietly as she shoved her hand in and pulled open the door of the limo. she slipped in and kneeled on the floor, ducking her head as her teammates rushed in behind her. she looked up as the limo stilled and frowned when she noticed every seat was taken. she shrugged and settled into the floorboard, smiling at charlie as he sat beside her. sloane reached around charlie to pull the door shut and admired the interior of the limo.
"hey, we want a ride! we want a ride, hey! we want a ride, hey!" connie chanted and sloane nodded along as the rest of the team joined the chant.
"i could kill one of them just to set an example, sir!" the driver exclaimed as he turned around to look at bombay over the front row of seats. charlie and sloane slowly looked at each other with their eyes wide in worry.
"no, i can handle it, lewis. take 'em for a spin, anything!" Bombay relented exasperatedly as he waved his hands in front of his face. sloane whooped and pumped her right hand over her head as the limo lurched forward before smoothing out and continuing forward. she raised her hand, extended it to guy, and quickly dropped her hand after he high-fived her.
"wow! i feel like madonna!" connie said as she slowly looked around the limo.
"wonder if this is what stevie nicks feels like," sloane commented, pulling her knees to her chest.
"you guys wish!" karp scoffed and rolled his eyes.
"shut up, karp!" connie sharply responded as she briefly glared at him. "hey, pass me one of those glasses," she said and pointed at the short row of glasses hanging across the side of the limo.
sloane stretched to the side and passed the glasses behind her until there weren't any left. she pushed herself back into a sitting position and tucked her hands into the crease of her knees. she smiled as she watched her teammates admire their glasses and chuckled softly. her smile gradually fell as her nose crinkled and burned at the smell that slowly filled the limo.
"goldberg!" the team chorused as they glared at him.
"it wasn't me, alright?" he answered offendedly.
"young man, what did you eat?" bombay asked as he glared down at the goalie beside him.
"nothing! it wasn't me!" goldberg emphasized defensively. sloane silently gagged and pulled her shirt up to cover her nose.
"open a window!" connie said as she waved her hands in front of her face. sloane rapidly blinked her eyes shut when they began to water and clamped down on her nose to begin breathing through her mouth. she opened them and cut her eyes to the side when charlie used her shoulder to push himself to his knees.
"oh, man, it's my mom! she looks pissed!" charlie said before being roughly shoved back into the floorboard by bombay. sloane propelled herself to her knees to watch casey conway angrily stomp toward the slowing limo. she let out the quiet sound that rose in her throat as she sat back in her calves.
"i think this is the quickest we've ever lost a coach," sloane said as she craned her neck to watch casey walk down the side of the stopped limo.
"all right, out! everybody out of the car right now!" casey demanded as she yanked the limo door open and stepped aside. sloane rolled her eyes as her shoulders deflated. she slowly slid from the limo after charlie and bowed her head as she passed casey. she glanced over her shoulder and bit her bottom lip when casey grabbed bombay's jacket collar and pulled him to the side.
"are you out of your mind? what were you thinking putting that car out on the ice?" she asked as her face flushed. sloane gripped her hands behind her back as she crossed her left leg over her right. "my son was in that car!"
"ady, lady, relax!" bombay started and sloane made a disapproving noise. he grew visibly annoyed as casey continued talking over him.
"one crack in the ice, that's all it would take. one crack!" casey explained as she repeatedly pointed toward the limo with a raised voice.
"the ice is not gonna break!" bombay irritatedly interrupted, briefly looking away before returning his gaze to casey.
"who the hell do you think you are?" casey asked as her voice dropped to its regular volume.
"i'm gordon bombay, the new hockey coach," he answered agitatedly.
"the new coach? they send you over here to coach the team and you endanger their lives!" casey scoffed as her eyes fell wide.
"what danger? look, i grew up on the ice. i know when it's safe to drive on it," bombay explained in exasperation.
"how do you know?" casey asked as she shifted from one leg to the other and tilted her head.
"i just know, all right?" bombay snapped. sloane's eyes widened and she and guy slowly looked at each other before pivoting to continue watching the conversation unfold.
"well, listen, mister zen master, you may be in tune with the ice universe but when it comes to my kids, 'i just know' doesn't cut it!" casey seethed and looked at the huddled team. "charlie, let's go."
"mom..." charlie started before trailing off sadly as she ignored him and continued to walk away.
"well, i guess practice is over," bombay said as he turned to stare at the team.
"sorry my mom ruined it guys," charlie apologized as he hung his head. "coach, you gonna be at the game tomorrow?" he asked as he swiveled to look at his coach.
"by order of the state of minnesota, yeah," bombay said with a sigh. sloane took a deep breath to keep from rolling her eyes as she slowly skated toward her hockey bag.
"do you think you could get me out of trouble tonight?" charlie whispered to sloane as he quickly followed her.
"i've got karate practice tonight. sorry," sloane explained apologetically.
"it's fine," charlie dejectedly replied and sat beside her on the small bench to change his shoes.
✩
sloane tiredly watched her mother unlock the door to their apartment. she sighed and adjusted her hockey and karate bags, both of which sat on her left shoulder. she slipped through the door after her mother, let both bags slid down her arm, and watched them hit the floor with a quiet thud. she kicked off her shoes, watched her mom make her way toward the kitchen, and shuffled across the living room where she dropped onto the couch beside her father.
"have a good hockey practice?" clint asked as he gazed down at his youngest daughter.
"yeah," she answered, nodding slightly. "met our new coach," she added and cut her eyes upward to look at him.
"really? what's he like?" he asked before yawning.
"t-total a-hole," she answered and cast her eyes to her lap.
"did you at least have a good time at karate?" he asked her.
"yeah. same old, same old," she answered, lifting her legs to cross them on the coffee table. "do you think mom will let me start taking judo now?"
"can't hurt to ask," he said and shrugged. she sighed, pushed herself off the coach, and slowly entered the kitchen.
"sloane, baby, you're face is so red," brynn said, crossing the kitchen to press the back of her hand to her sisters forehead before cupping her cheeks.
"it's a side-affect," sloane said and watched confusion cross brynn's expression. "you know, from the diabetes," she added, laughing along with her sister.
"mom," she said as she moved to the opposite side of the kitchen. she pulled a chair from the table, turned it sideways, and sat down to watch her mother make dinner. "can i finally start taking judo? please?"
"judo? baby, with school, hockey, jujitsu, and karate, you've got a full plate as it is," rebecca responded, briefly looking up from dinner to glance back at her daughter.
"i know but i just got my black belt in jujitsu. and i'm still making straight a's without any problem," sloane said and leaned back into the chair.
"she does get really good grades, mom. they haven't slipped this year," brynn defended from the other side of the kitchen table.
"see! i've been able to keep them up all year!" sloane said, smiling at brynn. "please, i've wanted to take it since forever," she pleaded as she laced her fingers together in her lap.
"fine, fine. you can take it," rebecca relented, smiling when sloane excitedly jumped from her chair and hugged her tightly from behind. "but, if you're grades fall any, even one percent you've got to drop something," she added and turned around to push sloane's hair out of her face.
"i'm okay with that," sloane said and nodded excitedly. "thank you!" she said and hugged her for a second time.
"now, go take a shower before dinner," rebecca said as she ushered sloane out of the kitchen.