Kiss My Sass [Books 1 & 2]

By Puppy1899

207K 15.5K 5.5K

Featured in YARomance's 'Love-Hate' reading list as of 01/24/2022 Featured in TeenFiction's 'Funny Bones' rea... More

[book 1] chapter one: an introduction of sorts
[book 1] chapter two: new neighbour
[book 1] chapter three: my neighbour steals my chocolate milk
[book 1] chapter four: drunken dani
[book 1] chapter five: i commit a felony
[book 1] chapter six: i commit another felony
[book 1] chapter seven: the car ride of death
[book 1] chapter eight: study buddy from hell
[book 1] chapter nine: my twin gets in a fight
[book 1] chapter ten: i bunk with a psychopath
[book 1] chapter eleven: test time
[book 1] chapter twelve: semi-finals
[book 1] chapter thirteen: my window gets smashed
[book 1] chapter fourteen: confessions & revelations
[book 1] chapter fifteen: i'm officially an idiot
[book 1] chapter sixteen: kisses & awkward situations
[book 1] chapter seventeen: the cold shoulder
[book 1] chapter eighteen: so it begins
[book 1] chapter nineteen: the real james hastings
[book 1] chapter twenty: blast from the past
[book 1] chapter twenty-one: i unload my baggage
[book 1] chapter twenty-two: the search for my father
[book 1] chapter twenty-three: the ugly truth
[book 1] chapter twenty-four: the untold story of cade
[book 1] chapter twenty-five: field trip to penbrooke
[book 1] chapter twenty-six: niko's dirty little secret
[book 1] chapter twenty-seven: the birds & the bees
[book 1] chapter twenty-eight: ignorance is bliss
[book 1] chapter twenty-nine: i'm dating a liar
[book 1] chapter thirty: the other new neighbour
[book 1] chapter thirty-one: my mom ruins my relationship
[book 1] chapter thirty-two: finals
[book 1] chapter thirty-three: i commit my third felony
[book 1] chapter thirty-four: stitches & broken hearts
[book 1] chapter thirty-five: breakups & makeups
[book 1] chapter thirty-six: election day
SEQUEL?!
[book 2] chapter one: welcome back
[book 2] chapter two: i become a convicted felon
[book 2] chapter three: ain't no party like a parker party
[book 2] chapter four: oh, niko
[book 2] chapter five: the end of the summer solstice
[book 2] chapter six: nothing rarer than a blissful dani
[book 2] chapter seven: we meet the future mrs. parker
[book 2] chapter eight: i get a mashed potato facial
[book 2] chapter nine: late-night rendezvous
[book 2] chapter ten: off to penbrooke
[book 2] chapter eleven: the curious case of leila
[book 2] chapter twelve: we meet the future mrs. parker...again
[book 2] chapter thirteen: dani parker, city councillor
[book 2] chapter fourteen: i make a fool of myself
[book 2] chapter fifteen: ring the bell, it's time for wedding planning hell
[book 2] chapter sixteen: nothing like some sisterly advice
[book 2] chapter seventeen: the boneheaded boys have a brawl
[book 2] chapter eighteen: dinner disaster
[book 2] chapter nineteen: just desserts
[book 2] chapter twenty: secrets
[book 2] chapter twenty-one: blackout
[book 2] chapter twenty-two: truth or dare
[book 2] chapter twenty-three: the aftermath
[book 2] chapter twenty-four: alex becomes a smitten kitten
[book 2] chapter twenty-five: literal heartache
[book 2] chapter twenty-six: sleepover with holden
[book 2] chapter twenty-seven: pre-rehearsal dinner mayhem
[book 2] chapter twenty-eight: the rehearsal dinner
[book 2] chapter twenty-nine: betrayal
[book 2] chapter thirty: nothing but the truth
[book 2] chapter thirty-one: the sting of a friendship breakup
[book 2] chapter thirty-two: my boyfriend meets my dad
[book 2] chapter thirty-four: i become the most hated parker
[book 2] chapter thirty-five: my tires get slashed
[book 2] chapter thirty-six: when opportunity knocks
[book 2] chapter thirty-seven: i rescue two drunkards
[book 2] chapter thirty-eight: brenton's dirty little secret
[book 2] chapter thirty-nine: holden gives relationship advice
[book 2] chapter forty: no ship like friendship
[book 2] chapter forty-one: our favourite narc pays a visit
[book 2] chapter forty-two: the bachelor(ette) party
[book 2] chapter forty-three: mistakes and regrets
[book 2] chapter forty-four: old habits
[book 2] chapter forty-five: a new proposition

[book 2] chapter thirty-three: alex and i share a secret

200 30 2
By Puppy1899

"DANI!" VANESSA GOT out of her seat and threw her arms around me when I arrived at the table. I hugged her back before sitting in the chair beside hers. It was a four-seater table and since there was an empty seat beside Vanessa and her evil stepsister, I opted to sit with the former. While Vanessa was thrilled to see me, I couldn't say the same for Leila, who rolled her eyes in annoyance.

This was our first encounter since she had me fooled that James was having an affair with her.

Vanessa eyed us both cautiously. "I'm only going to say this once, but please be civil you two."

"Fine," Leila huffed.

I nodded in agreement. "If the failed homewrecker will keep the peace, then so will I."

Leila glared at me while Vanessa gave me a warning look. "Anyway," the bride-to-be said, attempting to change the conversation. "Let's go over the final details for the wedding and how it's looking for set-up."

"Don't worry about it," I assured her. "The decorating team I hired will be in our backyard at the crack of dawn on your wedding day."

"What about my hair and makeup?" she asked.

Using the water jug on the table, I poured some into an empty glass and took a sip. "Since you and my brother are spending the night at Seychelles, your hair and makeup team will come to your room at half-past nine in the morning."

"And what about—"

"Your dress will be hand-delivered by the hotel staff to your suite at nine sharp, you and Niko will have your pre-wedding photoshoot at the beach cove in Stone Creek — yes, there's a zero percent chance of rain all day." I paused to take another sip. "You will then go back to your hotel for makeup and hair touch-ups, and then you will get picked by your chauffeur who will bring you to the house where the guests will be waiting for your big entrance. I'll be on standby in case anything goes wrong, which it won't."

"Wow," she breathed. "I, uh, wow! You've really thought of everything."

I smiled, proud of myself. "Trust me when I say you're in good hands, and all you need to worry about is what my brother does at his bachelor party."

"Don't put me in the same pile as those tools," Niko said as he joined our table. He kissed Vanessa before sitting beside Leila, the only vacant seat.

I raised my eyebrows. "You do realize our brother is one of those tools."

"I said what I said."

"And who planned your bachelor party?" I asked.

"Brent... Oh, I'm screwed, aren't I?" He paused. "So, babe, what's going on with your bachelorette party?"

"I'm planning it," Leila answered enthusiastically. I was confused by her sudden interest in talking about wedding details, but when I noticed the way she was eyeing Niko like she was a starving lion and he was an innocent gazelle, I put it together.

"Of course you are," I murmured. I was expecting Vanessa to scold me, but her attention was focused on Leila's hand, which was wrapped around Niko's arm.

"Easy, Daniella," Niko said in a chastising tone.

"Yeah, Daniella," Leila added with a smirk, tightening her grip on his arm.

"Okay, how about we keep our hands to ourselves?" Niko gently unwrapped her fingers and scooted away from her, much to his fiancée's approval. Leila folded her arms across her chest and glared at me, probably thinking this was somehow my fault. If she went after single men maybe she wouldn't keep facing rejection.

"The bachelorette party isn't going to be the night before the wedding," Vanessa suddenly said.

Both, Niko and myself, looked at her confusedly. I thought bachelor/bachelorette parties were just about the dumbest thing, but if they were going to do it then they should do it right. 

"Why not?" Niko asked.

"Leila has finals that week," she answered.

"When are you doing it?" he continued.

"The same night as you," Vanessa answered with a grin. "We've been in touch with your planner," she further explained after seeing the look on Niko's face.

"How do you know more about my bachelor party than I do?" he muttered.

Vanessa laughed as she stood up. "I have to go to the girl's room. Leila, come with me."

"Do I have to?" her stepsister answered in a bored tone. Vanessa gave her a dirty look and she begrudgingly stood up. "Fine, I'm coming."

Once the stepsisters were out of sight, Niko let out a sigh. "Leila's an interesting character."

I refilled my glass of water. "Now you know why I try to keep James as far away from her as possible."

~*~

"Want to come in?" I offered Niko as he pulled into the driveway.

"Is Mom home?"

"She will be soon."

"Then hell no."

I unbuckled my seatbelt and turned to him. "I overheard your phone call with her."

Niko sighed. "I don't get why she won't let me do what I want. My whole life I've done exactly what she wanted, and she's still treating me like a baby who doesn't know anything."

I tried to meddle and dictate my big brother's life earlier this summer when he announced his marriage plans, and I had learned it wasn't my place to interfere. "I can try talking to her."

His lips curved up into a half-smile. "I doubt it'll help much but I love you for offering."

"She'll come around," I promised him.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Just trust me."

Niko was, by far, our mom's favourite and I knew there was no chance in hell she'd risk ruining their relationship. Yes, she was pissed right now, but when she eventually cooled down, she would support his school decision.

"I don't remember you being this wise, Little D."

I rolled my eyes at his nickname. "You stopped calling me that after I got my first period."

He reached over and ruffled my hair affectionately. "Stop growing up so fast, I can't keep up."

"Coming from you," I retorted. "I wouldn't be surprised if you have a bunch of mini versions of you in a few years."

He shuddered at the thought. "I'm in no rush to have kids."

"Tell that to your thirty-year-old wife."

He punched my arm, making me wince in response. "Don't be ageist, Little D."

I got out of the car before he could hurt me more. "Bye, Germaine."

I wasn't expecting anyone to be inside when I got home, so I was surprised to see Alex standing behind the front door, waiting for me.

"Who were you out with?"

"Hello to you too."

"I know you've been sneaking out."

I almost dropped my bag which I was setting down on the table near the front door. "What are you talking about?"

"I know you've been seeing someone in secret."

I forced a laugh. "No more ice cream before bed for you." I headed for the stairs and my annoying little brother followed me up to my room.

"Is it a boy?"

I didn't answer.

"Are you cheating on James?"

No response.

"It's Holden, isn't it?"

That was enough to have me turn around and flick his forehead. "Don't ever say that again, you little troll."

"If you don't tell me I'm going to tell James."

I found myself smirking at his threat. "Go for it. In fact, use this." I handed him my cell phone.

Alex eyed me strangely as he powered on my phone and searched for James' number. His finger hovered over the call button as he observed me, trying to see if I would react. When he saw my blank face, he pressed the call button. Tentatively, he raised the phone to his ear, waiting to see if I'd stop him, but I didn't.

"Hello?"

I could hear James from the other end.

"Sorry, butt dial!" Alex quickly hung up the call.

I couldn't contain my laughter as I took my phone from him. "You're so annoying." I was just about to enter my bedroom when he said the words that actually got me nervous.

"I'll just ask Brent then."

I opened my bedroom door and dragged Alex inside before slamming the door shut. A victorious grin appeared on his face when he realized he had me.

"If you tell Brent I will rip off your braces in your sleep and shove them up your—"

"I won't," he interrupted before I could finish my threat. Alex let out a sigh and sat on my desk chair. "I know you've been seeing our dad."

I let out a gasp and my voice got stuck in my throat. How could he have even known?

"I heard James asking you if he could meet him," my little brother said, answering my question.

"And you want to meet him?" I asked.

He nodded his head repeatedly. "After everything you've told me I want to get to know him better. I'm the only person in my grade who doesn't have a dad."

At this moment I didn't see a bratty thirteen-year-old. All I saw was a broken little boy who had missed out on having a father figure in his life.

"I'll take you to see him."

He smiled up at me, the metal in his mouth glistening. "Promise?"

I nodded. "I promise."

~*~

At the time I thought it was a good idea, a great one even, but now I was nervous. I parked my jeep and we went up to his apartment. Alex didn't say an entire word during the drive here and I was wondering if he was also regretting this decision. I knocked on the door and within a few seconds, it opened. Dad was standing on the other end, a hesitant smile forming on his face when he saw Alex.

"Alex, meet our father," I told him.

I watched keenly to see what his reaction would be. Alex's face was blank and I was expecting him to be awkward, skeptical, or even lost for words. What I wasn't expecting was for him to take a cautious step towards our dad, eye him up and down, and narrow his eyes.

"Are you really my dad?"

Dad looked at me and I simply shrugged my shoulders. He then looked down at Alex and nodded his head. "I am."

Alex then surprised the two of us by throwing his arms around our dad and hugging him tightly. I saw tears well up in his eyes as he hugged Alex back, just as tight. I smiled at the sight before me, trying hard to not join the tear-fest going on. When they pulled apart, Dad wiped a stray tear from his eye and placed his hand on Alex's shoulder.

"I hear you're into baseball," he said. "Want to see some of my souvenirs from when I played college ball?"

"Okay!" Alex exclaimed, following Dad to see his stash of old baseball memories. 

I had a really good feeling about tonight.

~*~

"I don't want to go!" Alex cried.

I tapped my foot on the ground impatiently. "We have to go before Mom gets home."

"Ten more minutes," he begged.

Dad chuckled. "Listen to your sister, kiddo."

Alex looked up at him with his big brown eyes. "Will I see you again?"

Dad mussed his hair. "Of course you will. Want to catch a baseball game together?"

Alex beamed at him before looking at me for permission. "Only if I come with," I said.

Dad smiled. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He hugged us both before waving goodbye. He had escorted us to the parking lot, so we hopped in my car and drove off.

The entire drive home Alex would not shut up about our Dad, and while I usually would have found it annoying, it was endearing. I was glad that he finally had the choice to foster a relationship with his father. Despite what had happened between our parents, Alex deserved the chance to get to know both of our parents.

"Dad said we can go camping next summer!" Alex said excitedly, practically bouncing in his seat.

"That's great," I told him. "But hey, you can't tell anyone about this, okay?"

He stopped bouncing. "Why not?"

"Just trust me," I pleaded. "I need to warm everyone else up to Dad first."

"Uh, okay."

"I'm serious, please."

When I parked the car on the side of the road Alex gave me a skeptical look. "Don't think I noticed you driving without a licence."

"Shut up."

We exited the car and walked up to the porch where Holden was sitting. It looked like he was back from his lacrosse camp. Had it really been a week already?

"I knew I should've waited in my car," he murmured.

"Um, hi," I awkwardly greeted.

Alex snorted. "Bye." He went inside, presumably to avoid this awkward conversation.

"I'll just wait in my car for Brent." Holden was about to stand up but I stopped him.

"We don't have to make this weird."

He rolled his eyes. "It's a little too late for that."

"How was your camp?" I asked, attempting to keep the atmosphere lighthearted.

"The same as always."

"Holden, please."

He stood up. "If you see Brent, tell him to hurry up."

He retreated back to his car so I went inside the house, slamming the door shut behind me.

"Trouble in paradise?" Alex teased.

I scowled at him. "I will turn around right now and tell him about your secret girlfriend."

"She's not my girlfriend!" he testified, although his bright pink cheeks told a separate story.

I went upstairs to my bedroom, ready to call it a night. I had just changed into my pyjamas and was on my computer when there was a knock on the door.

"I'm busy," I replied.

Instead of listening, the door opened and the culprit came inside. "Hey, is your mom home?" It was Adam.

"She's never home this early on a weekday. Goodbye."

"Got any plans for the evening?" he asked in an attempt to make conversation.

"Nope."

"What are you working on?"

"Nothing."

"Any plans for the weekend?"

"None."

He sighed. "Did I do something to upset you?"

I shut my computer and looked at him. "Aside from date my mom and arrest me, no, none I can think of."

He leaned against my doorframe. "What can I do to help you warm up to me?"

I tapped my chin as I pretended to think of an answer. "Maybe stop trying to be my dad. I don't know if you know but I already have one."

His eyebrows rose in surprise. "Huh, I thought you kids didn't speak to him."

"No, officer. My mother doesn't speak to him. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm busy." I didn't bother to look up as he exited my bedroom.

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