June 20, 2011
"He-He's what?" I stuttered.
"He died, Adette! Get over here!"
"Where are you?" I rushed upstairs and shook Angie awake. "Angie, wake up!"
"No, don't wake up Angie-FUCK!"
"Text me the address, Bam."
"K," He hung up.
"Angie!" I shook her violently. "Come on!"
"What happened?" She asked.
"Get dressed-we need to go. Something happened with Ryan."
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I drove to the address and saw police cars, but I could spot Bam from a mile away. Angie and I walked up to him and he saw me, then hugged me while crying.
"He's gone!" He sobbed.
"What are you talking about?" Angie asked.
"You didn't tell her?" Bam asked.
"I don't even know what fucking happened, Bam!" I shouted.
"He was in a car accident," Bam sobbed.
"Who?" Angie asked.
"Ryan. He was driving and crashed and it killed him."
I just stood there staring at the road. My eyes started burning and I could feel tears coming. I couldn't believe that he was gone.
Angie clutched onto me and started sobbing. I held her tightly and shut my eyes, then softly cried. A reporter got in Bam's face and started asking questions, but I just continued to cry.
A car accident? He's dead? I needed to know the full fucking story because all I knew was that my best friend was dead. He wasn't with me anymore-I couldn't be there with him anymore. I wasn't going to be able to see him ever again. I wouldn't be able to hear his voice ever again.
Then, I got an idea. I grabbed my phone out and called Ryan.
"What are you-" Angie asked but I shushed her.
Ryan's voice came on over the voicemail. I sobbed harder and so did Angie. I shoved my phone back in my pocket and thought about Ryan's face-his smile, his laugh, his hugs, just everything. He was so happy-he didn't deserve to die. If anything, I should've died. Ryan never caused anyone any pain.
"I need to go," Angie sat in the passenger seat of the car.
I understood that she needed some time to herself. I saw Bam still talking, but I didn't care. I hugged him once more and cried. He was super close to Ryan, too.
"And how did you find out about his death?" A reporter asked.
I couldn't handle it. How the fuck could they ask a question like that-especially after they lost someone really close to them? I didn't look up. I just simply flipped them off and held Bam tighter.
Bam and I never really got close. But, these are what friends are for. We were there for each other.
I let go of Bam and just wiped my eyes.
"I don't know what to do," I continued to sob.
"There's nothing to do," Bam added.
"'See you soon'-those were the last words he said to me."
There was silence. There was no seeing him soon. I would never see him ever again. I would never be able to hug him again, cry with him, have a meal with him, tell him about by problems, or anything. Too much shit was happening. First I lost Paul, then I got a divorce, and now I had lost my best friend.
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Angie and I just picked up the house.
"What do we do?" I asked Angie.
"I don't know."
"I need to call umm...Neil and Corey, then."
"Why?"
"To tell them to keep the kids longer. I can't take care of anyone right now."
"Okay, I'll be in here."
I walked into the bedroom I was staying in and called Neil.
"Hello?" He answered.
"I need you to keep Ashton for a while longer."
"Why?"
"Because Ryan died," I sobbed.
"He what?"
"Ryan's dead."
"Oh my God, really?"
"Yes."
"I'm sorry."
"It's fine."
"Yeah, I'll keep him."
"Thanks, bye."
"Oh, bye."
I hung up and called Corey.
"Hello?" He sounded very annoyed.
"I need you to keep Everleigh for a little while longer."
"What? Why?"
"I can't take her."
"But why?"
"Because Ryan fucking died, okay?!"
There was silence.
"I'm sorry, Adette."
"Yeah, sure. Fine, I'll just drop her off at my mom's house."
"No, I can do it."
"Thanks, Corey."
"Sure. I'm sorry."
"It's fine. Bye."
"Bye."
I laid down on my bed and thought about what had just happened.
And then it hit.
My best friend was dead.