THE DAYS BLURRED by, each as miserable and uneventful as the last. I kept to myself and only left the house when I had to go to the office, otherwise, my days were spent cooped up in my bedroom. Niko and Vanessa took care of the wedding planning details without a complaint, Brenton and Alex stayed out of my hair, Amber was giving me space, and Holden...
Well, Holden wasn't really speaking to me, not that I blamed him. It was clear there were some unresolved feelings between us, and if I were in his shoes I'd be pretty pissed too if the person I liked was finally single and still wouldn't give me a chance.
It wasn't that I didn't want to be with him, although I wasn't sure if I wanted to either. With everything going on I hadn't had the opportunity to stop and think about if I wanted to be with Holden. After the way James shattered my heart and left me with the broken pieces, I wasn't sure if I'd ever want to be in a relationship again.
I was laying in my bed, cocooned in blankets, doing absolutely nothing. I had begged Mom to give me more work to do, but I guess she didn't think I could handle it given my current state, so she assigned me easy and boring tasks like triaging the emails in the inbox.
I had spent the last three days in my bed, not having showered, changed my clothes, or eaten anything more than the snacks I found inside my desk. I knew I'd have to get up and face the world eventually, but today did not feel like that day. But, as I was beginning to learn, the world often opted to do the opposite of what I wanted.
My self-pity day was rudely interrupted when someone rang the front doorbell. I assumed one of my brothers would have answered the door, but the ringing continued. After a few minutes of endless ringing, I yelled, "Somebody answer the damn door!"
The ringing immediately stopped.
This was followed by the sound of yelling downstairs, but I just tuned it out. Surprisingly, this was a common occurrence after Mom started dating Adam. Neighbours would come to our door and demand to know when Adam would be at our house. The people of Stone Creek didn't appear to love cops, and the idea of one frequenting our street quite often didn't sit well with many. Hell, I could barely digest the thought myself.
A gentle knock on my door interrupted my thoughts. My brothers knew better than to interact with me. I had a large sign taped to my door that said DO NOT ENTER in big, bold letters.
"Read the sign," I yelled, but the knocking continued.
"Can I come in?" a voice that did not belong to my brothers said.
When my doorknob turned, I wriggled out of my self-made cocoon, ready to give my lying, cheating ex a piece of my mind... and my fist. The Oscar-winning speech I had mentally prepared died in my throat when he entered my bedroom. I gasped, and it wasn't because I had forgotten just how handsome he was in person — unfortunately, that was something I could never forget. Instead, I gasped when I saw his bruised cheek and busted lip.
"I hope you're the twin who listens first and swings second," he said when he noticed me staring at his wounds. I had to suppress the smile threatening to show from the bang-up number Brenton did to him.
I don't believe in any of this twin telepathy bullshit, but Brenton if you're hearing this, I love you.
Just then my phone buzzed. I picked it up to see a message from Brenton.
You're welcome
Okay, that was just plain freaky.
Focusing back on the matter at hand, I looked up at James. "I have nothing to say to you. Get out."
"Perfect, then I hope you'll listen." He sat at the foot of my bed and when I tried to kick him off, he grabbed my ankle, prohibiting me from swinging. "Don't you think I'd be dead in your living room if your brothers didn't think I had a satisfactory explanation?"
I hated that he made a valid point. "You have two minutes."
"Dani," he breathed. God, it felt so good to hear him say my name. "I would never do anything to hurt you."
"Good job, you just wasted ten seconds, and I don't believe you."
He sighed. "After Leila's confession on the night of the rehearsal dinner, I kept my distance from her." If I thought that was shocking I wasn't ready for the rest of his story. "She got really upset and felt alone, so one night she got drunk in her apartment and swallowed a bunch of pain killers."
My eyes widened, but I didn't say anything and let him continue.
"I felt terrible, so after the hospital pumped her stomach and discharged her, I let her stay the night at my place so I could keep an eye on her. If she hurt herself because of me..." He shook his head at the thought. "So she spent the night in my bed while I slept on the couch." He paused to see my reaction. "Yes, we both took showers the next day, but you have to believe me when I tell you nothing happened. She finished hers long before I went to the bathroom, and I guess she was sitting around in her towel, I don't know. Maybe she saw your text that you were coming and wanted to make you jealous, but I swear nothing happened."
I closed my eyes to keep my tears at bay as relief washed all over me. He didn't cheat. His whore of a best friend just led me to believe it.
"What happens now?" I asked, still not pleased. All of this could have been avoided if he didn't give Leila the benefit of the doubt.
"I told her she couldn't stay with me anymore, and we need to set boundaries in our friendship." James grabbed my hand, a shocked look on his face to see the promise ring still on my finger. I had wanted to take it off and flush it down the toilet, but I couldn't bear the idea of parting with it. "I swear to you I won't let anyone come between us," he said solemnly. "If you want me to cut her out of my life I will."
I retracted my hand. "It shouldn't have to come to this for you to realize someone is trying to ruin our relationship. You dismissed my concerns every single time and look what happened."
"I'm so, so sorry, Dani. I would never do anything to hurt you, I swear."
I looked up and his grey eyes bore into mine. I found myself cupping his cheek and gently running my thumb over his bruise. "Wow, my brother did a number on you."
"If you're going to hit me too, please avoid the face."
I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going to hit you, James."
His eyes lit up with hopefulness. "Do you forgive me?"
"Look," I sighed, really not wanting to say this but knowing I had to. "I can't tell you who you can and can't be friends with."
He eyed me strangely. "You're okay with me being friends with Leila?"
"She can't sleep at your place anymore."
"It won't happen, I promise," he assured me.
"I'm serious."
"Dani, you're crazy if you think I'm going to let anything or anyone come in between us."
"Good." I paused. "When I saw you guys, I... it was the worst feeling in the world. I felt..." I took in a deep breath to keep my emotions under control as I mentally relived that moment.
James wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tightly. I dug my face into the crook of his neck and breathed in his scent. I really missed his scent. "That's never going to happen again, I swear."
When we pulled apart, I let out a yelp when I saw Niko standing in the doorway. "I don't hear any yelling so that must be a good sign."
"How long have you been standing there?" I demanded.
He shrugged his shoulders. "Long enough. I'm surprised you believed him."
I looked between both boys confusedly. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Oh, nothing, I just thought he'd have to use the backup."
I eyed James. "Backup?"
He sheepishly scratched the back of his neck. "Uh, yeah, after my neighbours had a break-in a few weeks ago I got security cameras installed."
I gaped at him. "You're telling me you could have prevented all of this by showing me the footage of you and Leila entering and leaving the bathroom at different times?"
"It didn't cross my mind at the moment," he defended.
"I can't believe you!"
"I'm going to go," Niko said awkwardly.
"Get me some ice at least," James said. "Brenton sure can punch."
On cue, my twin popped his head into my room. "Thank you!"
~*~
James called in sick the next day, and we had spent it all together. Nothing good lasted forever, and halfway through our day, he had to go back to retrieve his laptop to make up for taking a day off. James offered not to go but I couldn't let him jeopardize his job. He had promised to be back as soon as possible, and during that time I decided to catch up with my dad.
I had told my dad about everything that had happened recently, and most importantly, how much I wished he were more present in my life.
"I wish I could have been there for you," he said with a frown.
I smiled at him. "You're here now."
"It's not fair to you. You shouldn't have to see your father in secret or feel like you have to pick between both parents."
"Baby steps," I told him. "You know, Alex comes to my room at night to ask about you."
He beamed at me. "Really?"
I nodded. "He wants to meet you. If I can get one more brother on board I think it could happen."
"Who's it going to be?" my dad asked.
I sighed as he pulled into my street. "Definitely not Brenton. He has so much anger and I don't know why. Every time I mention you he gets upset."
"Everyone copes differently," my dad explained.
"I guess, but it's not fair to you."
"Things will work out when the timing is right."
I didn't believe that but I supposed it didn't hurt to be optimistic for a change. I waved goodbye as I stepped out of his car, and returned to my house where James was waiting with a movie night prepared.
"Hey!" I greeted him with a kiss. I plopped down on the couch and grabbed the bowl of popcorn he heated up.
James sat beside me and set up the movie. "So where were you?"
I threw a handful of popcorn in my mouth. "I just stepped out for a bit. When did you get back?"
"I came back an hour ago and your brothers said you were out." He eyed me observantly as he spoke. "I saw you outside in a black Mercedes."
Well, someone was too aware of their surroundings for their own good.
"Oh, right. I went out with an old friend," I lied through my teeth.
"Which friend?" James asked casually, his gaze shifting to the opening credits of the movie.
"You wouldn't know her." Another lie. "She's from summer camp." Once the lies started, they wouldn't stop.
"What's her name?" he prodded.
"What does it matter?" I snapped, fed up with this game he was playing. "If you have something to ask, then ask it."
"I've seen you in that car before and I know you were with a guy," he said bluntly. "Is that more direct for you?"
"It's not what you think it is," I promised.
James grabbed the remote and flicked the TV off. "Leila told me she saw you in a black car with a man too."
I gaped at him. "And you believed her?"
He shook his head and took my hands in his. "I made the mistake before of not giving you the benefit of the doubt, and I'm not doing it again. So just tell me who you were with."
I looked down at the couch. "I can't."
James let go of my hands, and I felt my heart drop. "Why can't you be honest with me?"
I chomped on the inside of my cheek to stop any tears from flowing. "I just can't."
He ran a hand through his hair. "Dani, I'm telling you I will believe whatever you say. Did you start seeing someone after we separated? You could lie to me and I'll still believe you, so why won't you answer my question?"
"Because I don't want to disappoint you!" I said exasperatedly.
James' eyes widened in the slightest, but it was enough for me to notice. "What's his name?"
My eyes were burning and I felt the tears threatening to slip. "I can't, I'm sorry."
He clenched his jaw and tore his eyes away from me. "You don't even care enough about this relationship to deny what I'm thinking? After everything we've been through the last few days, you still can't be honest with me?"
"James, please, just trust me on this." My voice was starting to get heavy.
"I need to leave." He stood up and started his way to the door.
I couldn't tell anyone, but I also couldn't risk losing the love of my life over a secret. My vision blurred just a bit as I watched his retreating figure.
"My dad," I choked out.
James froze, not turning around.
"The man I've been sneaking off with is my dad," I continued. "I was feeling so alone and wanted someone to talk to so I drove to his house one day and we talked. It started off as an awkward conversation over coffee months ago and it was just supposed to be a one-time thing, but before I knew it we had more coffee dates. We started going on hikes, to the movies, baseball games, just making up for the lost time." I paused. "Having him around made me feel less alone."
I was expecting James to start yelling at me, telling me how I was making the biggest mistake. What I didn't expect was for him to turn around and pull me into a hug. He had one arm wrapped around my shoulders while his other hand stroked the back of my head.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he said softly into my hair.
"I thought you'd be mad at me." Saying it out loud sounded pretty stupid now that I thought about it.
"I am mad."
I froze.
"I'm mad at myself."
I pulled away and looked up at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
He cupped my cheek as he stared down at me. "I got so busy focusing on myself that I lost sight of the most important person in my life. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you more."
I shook my head and pushed him off. This was total bullshit. "You have no reason blaming yourself, James. I can't blame you for being busy with your own life. It just felt like all of you guys were moving forward while I was still stuck as who I was three years ago." God, I sounded like a loser, but it was the truth.
James held my hand, rubbing his thumb over the silver ring. "Do you remember what I said when I gave this to you?"
I nodded my head, admiring the ring. "You said you got it for a steal." When I saw the dry look on his face, I smiled sheepishly. Tough crowd. "You said this ring signified a promise between us."
"Exactly," he sighed. "A promise to, above all, be there for each other. Hearing about how lonely and isolated you felt, I didn't uphold my end of the promise, and for that I'm sorry." He lifted my hand and pressed his lips to the back of it. "I love you, Dani, and I promise to be there for you whenever you need me."