Kiss My Sass [Books 1 & 2]

By Puppy1899

207K 15.5K 5.5K

Featured in YARomance's 'Love-Hate' reading list as of 01/24/2022 Featured in TeenFiction's 'Funny Bones' rea... More

[book 1] chapter one: an introduction of sorts
[book 1] chapter two: new neighbour
[book 1] chapter three: my neighbour steals my chocolate milk
[book 1] chapter four: drunken dani
[book 1] chapter five: i commit a felony
[book 1] chapter six: i commit another felony
[book 1] chapter seven: the car ride of death
[book 1] chapter eight: study buddy from hell
[book 1] chapter nine: my twin gets in a fight
[book 1] chapter ten: i bunk with a psychopath
[book 1] chapter eleven: test time
[book 1] chapter twelve: semi-finals
[book 1] chapter thirteen: my window gets smashed
[book 1] chapter fourteen: confessions & revelations
[book 1] chapter fifteen: i'm officially an idiot
[book 1] chapter sixteen: kisses & awkward situations
[book 1] chapter seventeen: the cold shoulder
[book 1] chapter eighteen: so it begins
[book 1] chapter nineteen: the real james hastings
[book 1] chapter twenty: blast from the past
[book 1] chapter twenty-one: i unload my baggage
[book 1] chapter twenty-two: the search for my father
[book 1] chapter twenty-three: the ugly truth
[book 1] chapter twenty-four: the untold story of cade
[book 1] chapter twenty-five: field trip to penbrooke
[book 1] chapter twenty-six: niko's dirty little secret
[book 1] chapter twenty-seven: the birds & the bees
[book 1] chapter twenty-eight: ignorance is bliss
[book 1] chapter twenty-nine: i'm dating a liar
[book 1] chapter thirty: the other new neighbour
[book 1] chapter thirty-one: my mom ruins my relationship
[book 1] chapter thirty-two: finals
[book 1] chapter thirty-three: i commit my third felony
[book 1] chapter thirty-four: stitches & broken hearts
[book 1] chapter thirty-five: breakups & makeups
[book 1] chapter thirty-six: election day
SEQUEL?!
[book 2] chapter one: welcome back
[book 2] chapter two: i become a convicted felon
[book 2] chapter three: ain't no party like a parker party
[book 2] chapter four: oh, niko
[book 2] chapter five: the end of the summer solstice
[book 2] chapter six: nothing rarer than a blissful dani
[book 2] chapter seven: we meet the future mrs. parker
[book 2] chapter eight: i get a mashed potato facial
[book 2] chapter nine: late-night rendezvous
[book 2] chapter ten: off to penbrooke
[book 2] chapter eleven: the curious case of leila
[book 2] chapter twelve: we meet the future mrs. parker...again
[book 2] chapter thirteen: dani parker, city councillor
[book 2] chapter fourteen: i make a fool of myself
[book 2] chapter fifteen: ring the bell, it's time for wedding planning hell
[book 2] chapter sixteen: nothing like some sisterly advice
[book 2] chapter seventeen: the boneheaded boys have a brawl
[book 2] chapter eighteen: dinner disaster
[book 2] chapter nineteen: just desserts
[book 2] chapter twenty: secrets
[book 2] chapter twenty-one: blackout
[book 2] chapter twenty-two: truth or dare
[book 2] chapter twenty-three: the aftermath
[book 2] chapter twenty-four: alex becomes a smitten kitten
[book 2] chapter twenty-five: literal heartache
[book 2] chapter twenty-six: sleepover with holden
[book 2] chapter twenty-eight: the rehearsal dinner
[book 2] chapter twenty-nine: betrayal
[book 2] chapter thirty: nothing but the truth
[book 2] chapter thirty-one: the sting of a friendship breakup
[book 2] chapter thirty-two: my boyfriend meets my dad
[book 2] chapter thirty-three: alex and i share a secret
[book 2] chapter thirty-four: i become the most hated parker
[book 2] chapter thirty-five: my tires get slashed
[book 2] chapter thirty-six: when opportunity knocks
[book 2] chapter thirty-seven: i rescue two drunkards
[book 2] chapter thirty-eight: brenton's dirty little secret
[book 2] chapter thirty-nine: holden gives relationship advice
[book 2] chapter forty: no ship like friendship
[book 2] chapter forty-one: our favourite narc pays a visit
[book 2] chapter forty-two: the bachelor(ette) party
[book 2] chapter forty-three: mistakes and regrets
[book 2] chapter forty-four: old habits
[book 2] chapter forty-five: a new proposition

[book 2] chapter twenty-seven: pre-rehearsal dinner mayhem

291 35 1
By Puppy1899

HOLDEN STOPPED THE car in front of his house and his grandparents got out. "Giuseppe," Grandma Flynn barked. "Who's going to carry my luggage?"

"Let me drop Dani home and then I'll do it."

Her annoyed expression was replaced with a gummy smile. "Don't have too much fun you two!"

"I hope she dies in her sleep," Holden grumbled. Once they were out of the car he took off his atrocious sweater and we drove off.

I raised my eyebrows. "That's uncalled for."

He turned to look at me when we reached a red light. "No, Dani. What was uncalled for was that kiss. What were you thinking?"

"They wouldn't stop hounding you to kiss me. I just wanted it to be over with," I defended.

The light turned green and he stepped on the gas pedal. "Yeah, but..."

"Are you trying to tell me I'm a bad kisser?" I joked.

He scoffed. "No, but..."

"Then the matter is resolved," I dismissed. "They'll be off your back and you can lose the ugly sweater. Everybody wins."

"How can I lose it?" he asked.

I picked up the ugly piece of knitted crap and examined it. "Tell them you gave it to me and I'll dispose of it in my fireplace."

"You'd do that?"

I shrugged. "Eh, why not?"

"Wow, you're the best fake girlfriend I've ever had."

"Speaking of which," I said. "We take that kiss to the grave."

"My lips are sealed."

"Speaking of your lips," I added. "Some chapstick every now and then wouldn't kill you."

He gave me a dirty look as he turned into my street and pulled up on my driveway. I got out of the car with the sweater and waved him goodbye.

As I entered the house, Niko was walking towards the front door with a suitcase trailing behind him. "Hey, D... ew, what is that?" He jutted his chin toward the sweater in my hands.

"It's a sweater for Niko Junior." I handed it to him. "Consider it my wedding gift."

Niko forced a smile on his face. "I, uh, love it!"

"Hey, Dani!" Vanessa greeted as she lugged another suitcase. Her eyebrows furrowed when she looked at Niko. "Ew, what is that?"

"It's a wedding gift from Dani," he explained, the forced smile still on his face. "What do you think, babe?"

She awkwardly giggled. "Oh, I love it!"

"Wow, you two are very similar."

"We'll see you at the rehearsal dinner, right?" Vanessa asked, changing the subject.

"No boxed gifts." Niko paused. "Please."

"Oh, you mean the dinner I've been planning?" I said sarcastically. "I'll try to be there."

Vanessa raised her eyebrows. "Meow."

I rolled my eyes and walked past them up to my bedroom. I had planned to lay in my bed and scroll on my phone for hours but then I remembered I left it in my car yesterday. I went back downstairs and out the front door, surprised to see my jeep on the driveway. Someone stepped out of the driver's side and I recognized him as Pete from the diner.

"I'm looking for a guy named Danny," he said.

"That's me."

He shot me a confused look but shook his head. "Whatever, tell your boyfriend you're welcome."

I cocked an eyebrow. "Boyfriend?"

"Yeah, love wins or whatever, Danny."

Confused by what he meant, I opened my car door and retrieved my phone and keys. "Hey, weren't there groceries inside?"

"What about them?" Pete replied snippily.

"Okay, never mind," I said under my breath. Focusing my attention back on my phone, I checked my notifications and found a missed call from James so I dialled him back. "Hey, you."

"I miss your voice," he said. "It feels like I haven't seen you in so long. Want to come up to Penbrooke for the day?"

As much as I would have loved to spend the day with James, I was beyond exhausted from the busy morning I had. "I'm so tired," I told him truthfully. "How about tomorrow?"

"Can't," he sighed, "I'm working a double."

"What about the day after?" I suggested.

"I'm taking my mom to back-to-back appointments all day. What about the day after that?" he offered.

I was about to agree but then remembered I was busy. "I have a board meeting. That shit goes on for hours."

"I guess we aren't seeing each other until the rehearsal dinner," he said dejectedly.

"Then I guess I'll have to make it worth your while," I told him.

James chuckled. "I like the sound of that."

"I'll see you real soon," I promised. "Love you."

"I love you, too."

~*~

"Stop right here," I told my dad.

He let out a low whistle. "You're doing the rehearsal dinner at this hotel? The banquet hall costs a fortune."

"Perks of Niko marrying rich," I joked. I undid my seatbelt, but before I could get out I turned to face him. "I really want you to come to the wedding."

He smiled although it didn't reach his eyes. "I'm not so sure Niko would be okay with that."

"I don't know how he can get married without his dad there," I chided.

He ruffled my hair affectionately. "Dani, please don't put your nose where it shouldn't be."

"But that's not fair," I argued. "You're his father, you should be there!"

"Only if your brother is okay with it," he said.

I supposed that was fair, but I was going to make sure I warmed Niko up to the idea of Dad re-entering our lives. Despite how we felt about his past mistakes, he should be there to see his firstborn get married. If I were in Niko's shoes, I'd want Dad there for my wedding.

I thanked my dad for the ride and got out of the car and into the hotel. I went to the hotel's banquet hall to triple-check everything before the rehearsal dinner. With the big event only a day away, everything had to be absolutely perfect, or else it'd be my head on the chopping block. Although Leila and I were supposed to plan this together, she never showed so I was responsible for booking the venue, DJ, and finalizing the menu, seating chart, and decorations. 

"Alright, Parker number three," Mr. Rollins began, a notepad and pen in his hands. "Are we doing buffet style for the appetizers as well?"

I nodded my head. "We should have servers walking around with trays of hors d-d—"

"Hors d'oeuvres?" he filled in. I nodded my head. I hated that stupid word.

"Yeah, that. And the appetizers will be buffet style."

"What about the main course?" Mr. Rollins asked as he jotted it down on his notepad.

"Well, the guests confirmed their dinner selection with their RSVP so the plates should be pre-assembled in the kitchen and brought to the respective guests."

He nodded in agreement. "You got it. And we'll have dessert set up on the buffet tables afterward. No sample cake, right?"

I shook my head. The indecisive couple still hadn't decided on a wedding cake flavour so I didn't want the guests to try any cake before the actual wedding. "We'll just stick with the pastries, macarons, and cupcakes."

"Sounds great, I'll go run this by my guys." Mr. Rollins slapped my back encouragingly, and it took all of my willpower to not wince from that man's iron hand.

Now that the food was out of the way, I walked around each table to double-check the seating plan. Since Leila had been out of the picture, I put her at a table with her stepdad and new stepmom so she was as far away from James as possible. Someone accidentally put Amber and Brenton's names at the same table so I was in the middle of moving Amber to the table with her parents and Chastity when Leila strutted in.

"You're late," I told her.

"Whatever."

Ignoring her, I continued checking the name tags to make sure the rest were fine. Leila, however, had other plans and walked beside me.

"So is Holden who you've been sneaking off to see?"

I set my clipboard down on a table and turned to look at her. "What are you talking about?"

"I saw you," she said with a smirk. "I saw you get out of that same black Mercedes."

I picked up the clipboard and continued walking. "It's not what you think."

"Oh, really? Because I think if it's not that hottie then it must be a third." Her smirk broadened. "You sure are one busy girl."

"I see your nose is healing nicely," I remarked. "Want me to break it again?"

She laughed. "Are you this feisty in bed, too? I can see why you have all of these men after you."

I tried to control my anger but when I felt the clipboard snap in half, I tossed it on the ground and lunged at Leila. My plan to give her a free nose job was halted when both Rollins men intervened. Mr. Rollins stepped in between us while his son grabbed me from behind to stop me from attacking Leila. I elbowed Holden in the shoulder and tried to swing at Leila, but his grip was too strong and I was suspended in place.

"Let's get you out of here," he said before I could cause any damage. Once he was certain I wouldn't go running after Leila, he set me down.

I folded my arms across my chest and glared at him. "Stop coming to my rescue."

"Not everyone is as forgiving as I am when it comes to breaking noses," he joked.

I looked down at the ground and scowled. "You didn't hear what she said about me. About us."

"Who cares?" he said, making me look up at him. "Don't let a jealous and insecure girl get you so worked up."

I let out a sigh. "I guess you're right."

"I usually am."

"Don't push it, Rollins."

He laughed. "Let's get you home before you dislocate the florist's jaw for bringing the wrong peonies."

I gasped. "They brought the wrong peonies?"

"Oh, brother," he murmured.

~*~

"So..." James said through my computer screen. "How was your day?"

"I know you know," I grumbled.

He sighed. "Why can't you two just get along?"

"Why is your best friend so intent on ruining my life?"

James frowned. "You just need to give her time."

"I've given her enough time," I snapped. "I'm tired of this, James. I've put up with her long enough, but I've had it."

"I know, and I love you for trying."

I put my laptop on my lap and stretched my legs out in my bed. "At least I get to see you tomorrow."

He grinned widely, his dimple appearing. "There's something positive to look forward to!"

I nodded. "Yup, and she's not sitting at our table."

"Dani..."

"Can't I have my boyfriend for one night?" I pleaded.

He smiled. "Of course."

"Are you going to stay the night?" I asked.

He shook his head, earning a groan from me. "I have to be back early the next day. But I promise we'll have the whole weekend together."

"Just us two?" I questioned.

He nodded. "Just you and me."

That sounded like music to my ears.

James whipped out his cell phone and stared down at it. "My mom's calling, can I talk to you later?"

"Of course!" I exclaimed, relieved it was Helena and not Leila. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"I already know you're going to be the most beautiful person in the room," he said with a dopey smile.

I rolled my eyes. "Don't let Vanessa hear that."

After wrapping up my video call with James, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. On my way back, I decided to peek my head into Alex's bedroom. He was sitting under his blanket and I could see the light of his cell phone. Carefully, I crept toward him and ripped his blanket off. Alex let out an ear-piercing shriek, which was followed by a string of curse words when he realized he was still on the phone.

"That was my sister," he said before instantly hanging up. "What's the matter with you, Dani? Haven't you heard of privacy?"

"Was that Hailey?" I teased.

He furrowed his eyebrows in anger. "Leave me alone."

"Aw, I just tease you because I love you," I told him.

"Whatever, just get out."

Ignoring his orders, I sat on a beanbag chair in his room. "Hey, do you ever think about Dad?"

Alex blinked in surprise, taken aback by my question. His shock turned into confusion as he tried to think of an answer. "I don't really remember him."

It broke my heart to see that Alex had no recollection of our father. Then again, he was so young when Dad left but still. He deserved to know his father.

"Well, he looks just like you and Niko," I told him. I picked up a baseball Alex had gotten signed by one of his favourite players. "And he loved baseball. He taught you how to throw."

My baby brother raised his eyebrows in curiosity. "Woah, and now I pitch for the minor league team in Stone Creek." He paused for a moment before saying, "Tell me more about Dad."

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