Kiss My Sass [Books 1 & 2]

By Puppy1899

207K 15.5K 5.5K

Featured in YARomance's 'Love-Hate' reading list as of 01/24/2022 Featured in TeenFiction's 'Funny Bones' rea... More

[book 1] chapter one: an introduction of sorts
[book 1] chapter two: new neighbour
[book 1] chapter three: my neighbour steals my chocolate milk
[book 1] chapter four: drunken dani
[book 1] chapter five: i commit a felony
[book 1] chapter six: i commit another felony
[book 1] chapter seven: the car ride of death
[book 1] chapter eight: study buddy from hell
[book 1] chapter nine: my twin gets in a fight
[book 1] chapter ten: i bunk with a psychopath
[book 1] chapter eleven: test time
[book 1] chapter twelve: semi-finals
[book 1] chapter thirteen: my window gets smashed
[book 1] chapter fourteen: confessions & revelations
[book 1] chapter fifteen: i'm officially an idiot
[book 1] chapter sixteen: kisses & awkward situations
[book 1] chapter seventeen: the cold shoulder
[book 1] chapter eighteen: so it begins
[book 1] chapter nineteen: the real james hastings
[book 1] chapter twenty: blast from the past
[book 1] chapter twenty-one: i unload my baggage
[book 1] chapter twenty-two: the search for my father
[book 1] chapter twenty-three: the ugly truth
[book 1] chapter twenty-four: the untold story of cade
[book 1] chapter twenty-five: field trip to penbrooke
[book 1] chapter twenty-six: niko's dirty little secret
[book 1] chapter twenty-seven: the birds & the bees
[book 1] chapter twenty-eight: ignorance is bliss
[book 1] chapter twenty-nine: i'm dating a liar
[book 1] chapter thirty: the other new neighbour
[book 1] chapter thirty-one: my mom ruins my relationship
[book 1] chapter thirty-two: finals
[book 1] chapter thirty-three: i commit my third felony
[book 1] chapter thirty-four: stitches & broken hearts
[book 1] chapter thirty-five: breakups & makeups
[book 1] chapter thirty-six: election day
SEQUEL?!
[book 2] chapter one: welcome back
[book 2] chapter two: i become a convicted felon
[book 2] chapter three: ain't no party like a parker party
[book 2] chapter four: oh, niko
[book 2] chapter five: the end of the summer solstice
[book 2] chapter six: nothing rarer than a blissful dani
[book 2] chapter seven: we meet the future mrs. parker
[book 2] chapter eight: i get a mashed potato facial
[book 2] chapter nine: late-night rendezvous
[book 2] chapter ten: off to penbrooke
[book 2] chapter eleven: the curious case of leila
[book 2] chapter twelve: we meet the future mrs. parker...again
[book 2] chapter thirteen: dani parker, city councillor
[book 2] chapter fourteen: i make a fool of myself
[book 2] chapter fifteen: ring the bell, it's time for wedding planning hell
[book 2] chapter sixteen: nothing like some sisterly advice
[book 2] chapter seventeen: the boneheaded boys have a brawl
[book 2] chapter eighteen: dinner disaster
[book 2] chapter nineteen: just desserts
[book 2] chapter twenty: secrets
[book 2] chapter twenty-one: blackout
[book 2] chapter twenty-two: truth or dare
[book 2] chapter twenty-three: the aftermath
[book 2] chapter twenty-five: literal heartache
[book 2] chapter twenty-six: sleepover with holden
[book 2] chapter twenty-seven: pre-rehearsal dinner mayhem
[book 2] chapter twenty-eight: the rehearsal dinner
[book 2] chapter twenty-nine: betrayal
[book 2] chapter thirty: nothing but the truth
[book 2] chapter thirty-one: the sting of a friendship breakup
[book 2] chapter thirty-two: my boyfriend meets my dad
[book 2] chapter thirty-three: alex and i share a secret
[book 2] chapter thirty-four: i become the most hated parker
[book 2] chapter thirty-five: my tires get slashed
[book 2] chapter thirty-six: when opportunity knocks
[book 2] chapter thirty-seven: i rescue two drunkards
[book 2] chapter thirty-eight: brenton's dirty little secret
[book 2] chapter thirty-nine: holden gives relationship advice
[book 2] chapter forty: no ship like friendship
[book 2] chapter forty-one: our favourite narc pays a visit
[book 2] chapter forty-two: the bachelor(ette) party
[book 2] chapter forty-three: mistakes and regrets
[book 2] chapter forty-four: old habits
[book 2] chapter forty-five: a new proposition

[book 2] chapter twenty-four: alex becomes a smitten kitten

289 38 9
By Puppy1899

AFTER JUST ABOUT the worst possible date ever, I was actually thrilled to be at work the next day, relieved to have some kind of distraction. I had spent the entire night complaining about my date to my brothers, to Amber, and even to my dad, and I was certain everyone was fed up. 

Instead of being cooped up in my office today, I got to participate in a council meeting. My mom felt like I was finally ready, so I got to be present as a voting member, which was far cooler than it sounded. The only things we had voted on were installing a new traffic camera at one of the busier intersections in the town, and changing garbage collection day from Wednesday to Friday. Although the motions discussed were pretty uneventful, it still felt pretty awesome being a part of the group that made these decisions.

"That concludes the motions in today's agenda," the chair spoke. He turned to look at my mom. "Any final words before we adjourn, Madam Mayor."

She shook her head. "That should be all, though I would like to commend Daniella for her participation in today's meeting."

One of the other councillors nodded and smiled at me. "It took me a good two months to learn all of the jargon, nice job."

"You're a quick learner," the chair added. "Perhaps politics is your calling." He glanced around to see if anyone had any last comments to add. "All in favour of adjourning today's meeting?"

We all raised our voting placards, ensuring a clear majority, and the meeting was adjourned. As everyone packed up their belongings and left, Mom waved me over to the back of the room. I followed and sat in an empty seat across from her.

"You're picking things up rather quickly," she began. I shrugged my shoulders, unsure of what to say. Honestly I was starting to enjoy this job more than I had initially thought. "If you're up for it I'd like to start giving you more responsibility."

"What would this entail?" I asked inquisitively.

She smiled, probably glad I was interested. "Well, I'd like for you to handle more of the outreach initiatives, and instead of creating meeting briefs for me, I think it's time you overlook meetings with stakeholders."

I pondered over her suggestion for a bit before I replied. "That actually sounds kind of great."

Mom reached over and squeezed my hand that was rested on the table. "I knew I could count on you. This is going to be wonderful!" Her phone rang and she dismissed me so she could take the call in private. 

I grabbed my bag and left the board room, ready to call it a day. It was a beautiful day out so instead of waiting around for Mom to finish her call I decided to walk home. I put my earbuds in and listened to music as I walked home from the town hall, reflecting on my newfound responsibilities. Truthfully, I genuinely was excited to take on more tasks around the town hall. What started off as a punishment was turning into meaningful work for me, and the thought of summer already being past halfway over had me kind of bummed. Soon enough, I'd have to face reality and I was not looking forward to that.

As I walked, the warm gentle breeze outside was blowing my hair around, so I leafed through my bag to find a hair tie. I found a small black hair tie but when another gust of wind blew past me, I dropped it on the sidewalk. I knelt down to pick it up, casually peering over my shoulder as I did, and I froze when I saw a car a few metres behind me, stopped in the middle of the road. Slowly, I stood up and walked very cautiously. Much to my surprise, the car lurched forward, matching my pace. I sped up and so did the car, but when I slowed down it did the same. My heart was beating against my chest and my palms got clammy as I recalled the car from a couple of days ago. I continued walking, pretending like nothing was wrong although I paused my music to ensure I could hear the car. 

When I caught sight of the café not too far ahead, my walk turned into a sprint, the car following closely behind. I ran into the parking lot, and the car did the same, making a sharp turn and stopping in front of me. The windows were too tinted for me to see inside, but my breathing hitched as the car closed in on me. I took a step back, mentally plotting an escape route, but another car that must have been following the both of us stopped behind me, also with the same tinted windows. I gulped as the door to the car in front of me slowly opened, but fate just happened to be on my side today.

A loud honking sound made me jump and the person in their car close the door. Behind the car was a truck with two angry-looking men inside. "Move up!" the driver yelled through his open window as he honked the horn. "It's our lunch break and we're hungry!"

Now that we had potential witnesses, both cars drove off, leaving me with the strange and hungry truckers. Without wasting a moment of hesitation, I ran across the parking lot and inside the café.

Holden, who was in the middle of wiping down the counter, smiled when he saw me. "Take a seat at the bar and I'll grab you a menu."

With shaky legs, I walked up to the front counter. Holden continued cleaning but when I didn't sit down, he looked at me with a confused expression.

"I saw it again," I said in a hushed voice.

He set his cleaning rag down, his eyebrows furrowed. "What did you see?"

I swallowed hard. "The car. It cornered me in the parking lot."

His expression turned stoic. "Where?"

"It's gone now."

"We have to tell someone," he urged. "We should call the cops."

I folded my arms across my chest, hugging myself in an attempt to calm my nerves. "I don't know, Holden."

"What about Adam?" he offered.

I cocked an eyebrow. "So my mom can find out? Hell no."

He looked at me before peering over his shoulder at his colleague. "Pete, can you cover for me?"

Pete, who was a nerdy and lanky teenager, glared at Holden. "Who's going to do my job then, wiseass?"

Instead of arguing, Holden clapped his shoulder. "Thanks, buddy, you're the best!"

He hopped over the counter —a habit Mr. Rollins absolutely despised— and walked out of the café, me following in tow. None of the cars were in sight when we went outside and got into his car, and for that I was relieved. The entire drive home I peered out my window, eyeing any car or person who looked suspicious. Holden must have gotten fed up at some point because he put my window up using the driver controls.

"The driver has too much power."

"You're just going to fill yourself with worry if you do that," he chided, ignoring my comment.

We drove in silence for a few more minutes until Holden pulled into my street, which was exceptionally jam-packed with cars today, so he had to park on the side of the road a few houses down. As I unbuckled my seatbelt, so did he, earning a strange look from me.

"I can walk by myself," I told him.

"Don't care," he replied. "I'm not taking any chances."

There was no point in arguing, so I got out of the car and walked up to the house, Holden following me. We stopped on the driveway and I turned around to face him. "Thanks for bringing me home."

"Don't sweat it," he dismissed with a wave. "If you ever need anything, even a ride home, please call me."

I wasn't sure if it was my immense gratitude or genuine fear of what could have happened, but I found myself trembling.

"Hey, it's okay, you're safe now." He put his hands on my shoulders, and I fell into his arms, my entire body shaking. Holden hugged me, squeezing me tightly as he whispered reassuring words into my ear. When we pulled apart, he smiled down at me. "No more walking alone, okay?"

I meekly nodded. Holden watched me as I walked inside, not leaving until I shut the door. Taking in a deep breath, I walked past the living room where Alex was playing video games.

"You guys seem chummy," my annoying little brother remarked.

"Shut up."

"Oh, there's some letter for you." He jutted his chin at the mail sitting on the coffee table in front of him.

I picked up the pile of mail and flipped through it, stopping when I found a letter addressed to me. A letter from Cortland University. Without opening it, I tore the envelope into pieces and threw the remains into my bag.

"That's not weird at all," Alex murmured.

Before I could respond to him, the doorbell rang. Knowing he wouldn't pause his game to check, I opened the front door to see who it was. I couldn't hide the surprised look on my face when I saw Vanessa.

"I bear gifts!" she exclaimed, handing me a black vinyl zippered garment bag. "I picked up your dress from the boutique," she said when she saw my confused expression.

I sighed in response. "Look, Vanessa, I'm so—"

"It's fine, I get it," she assured me before I could finish. "I wouldn't be too thrilled either if Niko's old best friend I hadn't heard of came out of nowhere and took up his time."

The more I got to know Vanessa, the more I trusted her like a sister. I lowered my voice before asking, "Should I be worried?"

"No-o-o-o!" Judging by her nervous smile and the way she stretched out her vowels, I did not feel at ease one bit.

"Please, Vanessa."

She nervously fidgeted with her freshly done acrylic nails. "Look, she's my sister and I don't want to say anything bad..."

"Please," I repeated.

She raised her hands in defeat. "Fine. Let me just say this isn't my first time being engaged."

"What does that have to do with Leila?" I asked.

She hid her face in her hands before looking at me in shame. "I caught my fiancé in bed with Leila, so it wouldn't hurt to be a little vigilant around her." Her phone suddenly rang and she quickly answered it. "Babe, why couldn't you have called thirty seconds earlier?" she hissed, presumably at my brother.

As Vanessa left, I shut the door and stared at it. "Great. The stepsister of my sister-in-law to be is after my boyfriend."

Alex, who I had completely forgotten was still here, snickered behind me. "It's a good thing you got Holden as a backup."

In case I hadn't mentioned it enough, I hated teenager Alex.

~*~

I had just finished changing into a pale yellow v-neck puff-sleeved dress that stopped at my mid-thigh and was tying up my hair into a high ponytail. A few days after Vanessa dropped off the dress and some disturbing revelations, Mom invited the happy couple for a backyard barbecue. While I much rather preferred to spend my evening alone in my bedroom, I also didn't want to miss out on Niko's barbecuing. Like I have said countless times, if there was one thing my big brother could do, it was cook. I checked my reflection one last time but before I could leave, my phone rang.

"Hey, Dad," I chirped into my cell phone.

"I got an extra ticket to the baseball game happening tonight. Want to come?"

I could imagine the smile on his face and it broke my heart to turn him down but my fear of Mom overpowered my desire to hang out with my dad. "I'd love to, but Mom's doing a family bar— I mean a barbecue."

He chuckled. "You don't have to preserve my feelings, kid. She's been running the show for a while, it's fine to call it that." He paused. "She's not seeing anyone, is she?"

"Uh..." I played with the hem of my dress as I tried to think of a response.

"You know, you guys are the reason Liz and I broke up."

"What?" I exclaimed.

"Ever since you showed up on my doorstep three years ago, you guys and your mom were all I could think of," he continued. "Liz suspected it for a while, but when she outright asked me if I still loved your mother I told her the truth, and she filed for divorce."

"Wow," I breathed. "I didn't know that."

"So," he pressed on. "Is she seeing someone?"

I didn't want to tell him the truth, but I also knew he wouldn't appreciate me lying, even if it was to spare his feelings. I had been dishonest with everyone else lately and he was the only person I was truthful to, so I decided to come clean. "She is."

There was a slight pause. "Is it serious?"

I blew out a puff of air. "Honestly, it looks like it's heading that way." I contemplated my next words. "But if it counts for anything, we all hate Adam."

"Adam?"

"Yeah, Adam Shaw. He's a cop," I said with an eye roll.

"Dani!" I heard Brenton yell from downstairs. "Get your catfish ass out here!"

"Look, I got to go," I said into my phone. "I'll talk to you soon, okay?"

I hung up and went downstairs and out to the backyard.

"Dani?" Brenton feigned confusion when he saw me. "Sorry, I couldn't recognize you with the two tonnes of makeup you put on."

I narrowed my eyes at him as I sat on the patio seat beside him. "Maybe some makeup would help your pasty face."

Alex snickered and Brenton punched him in the arm. "I'm not pasty! I have a sunkissed glow, thank you very much!"

"Stop complaining and bring me the rest of the steaks from the kitchen," Niko said over at the barbecue.

Brenton nudged Alex. "Go get it."

"I'm talking to you, pasty," Niko called out, making the rest of us laugh.

Brenton grumbled incoherent words under his breath but left to go do as Niko said. He came back out a few minutes later with raw steaks, his best friend, and a young girl who appeared to be around Alex's age.

"Sorry, I'm late," Holden said as he entered the backyard. "I'm babysitting my cousin today. Guys, meet Hailey"

She looked up at Holden with a scowl. "I'm thirteen, I'm not a baby."

He mussed her hair. "Yeah, whatever, be happy I'm feeding you."

I was about to ask Alex to get me a drink, but I stopped when I saw him. His eyes were wide and his jaw slacked as he ogled over Holden's cousin. This didn't go unnoticed by both of my brothers, who stopped what they were doing to look at Alex in amusement.

It looked like my baby brother had developed his first crush.

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